How to encourage husband to try this with me

mantramoon

Hi all, I have a question, but it's a touchy subject. I started on here Jan 3, and am feeling good about it - I've lost 2 or 3 lbs in about 3 weeks and feel like I'm on the right track. I want to encourage my husband to lose weight too, but I don't want to make him feel bad. He's put on a noticeable amount of weight in the past year (we met less than 2 years ago). I want to be a kind wife, but it honestly does bother me. I liked him better the way he looked when we first met, and I want him to be healthy and live a long life. Do people out there have any ideas for how to encourage him to try losing weight along with me?

dawson002

I'm in the same position....my wife has always been big but since we got married in September shes really piled it on.

I keep trying to encourage her by promising holidays etc but she just says she happy.

ew_david

Leading by example is about all you can do. Invite him on a walk or suggest something active to do together, but aside from that, don't nag him. Just like you weren't ready to make changes before January 3rd, he may not be there yet either.

cwolfman13

I started all of this on my own about 4.5 years ago. For myself, it was more of being an example. My wife didn't join in the fun until I had been hard at work for about four month. She saw the weight falling off and my fitness improving and my health improving and she got on board in her own way. She didn't calorie count, but she started watching her diet more and brown bagging breakfasts, lunches, and snacks and started going to the gym with me to workout (though we didn't workout together).

4.5 years later, we've both lost a good amount of weight and are both very active and fit and live pretty healthy lifestyles in general, particularly relative to where we were. She's an avid runner and does a couple of 1/2 marathons annually and I'm a pretty avid cycling enthusiast and do a couple of cycling endurance events annually. We both also love the weight room. A big bonus is that we're setting positive examples for our kids in regards to the importance of fitness and regular exercise and healthy eating. Our kids (4 & 6) see what we're doing as completely a completely normal part of life, which is a good thing.

happysherri

Keep up the great work! Definitely be positive and invite him along. There are so many different activities out there, try and mention classes, sports, etc. that he may like. Go on leisurely walks together - if he'll go. Invest in some out home equipment or videos - start small with dumbbells or bands, maybe if he sees you doing it at home he'll want to join. ***In the end you can only encourage, a person is going to do what they want to do.

SarahBelle43

I completely know what you mean! When I started dating my boyfriend 2.5 years ago, we were both in pretty good shape. We got content, Fat and happy if you will? We got into bad habits together- eating out, drinking a beer or two after work, etc. Now I am working to get back to my former size, and I feel like he is worried I am going to leave him behind in a way. I have been cooking more healthy dinners for us, and pack him a lunch when I pack mine. That seems to be an easy way to start, and he has been returning the favor which was an unexpected surprise! I think the hardest thing for me is that I feel like he is judging me as being "really extreme" when I'm working towards perfectly reasonable goals.

junodog1

SarahBelle43 wrote: »

I have been cooking more healthy dinners for us, and pack him a lunch when I pack mine. That seems to be an easy way to start, and he has been returning the favor which was an unexpected surprise!

The above has a lot of value. My family is dragged along to healthier meals by merit of the available food.

I'm generally the cook, and if I am eating healthier, so is everyone else. Sort of the same philosophy that we used raising the children. I cooked dinner, and if you didn't like what was for dinner then you didn't have to eat - but you were not getting different or special food.

It is important that you are considerate of other's palates when you have this all or nothing view, e.g. Don't try to shove your new love affair with brussel sprouts into an all brussel sprout dinner.

NoMoreCakey

If your significant other doesn't want to lose weight then leave them alone... remember when you didn't want to lose weight? No one can force anyone to change their eating habits, it truly needs to be something someone does for themselves.

kenyonhaff

I would not mention it, honestly--in my experience change happens when a person is ready. He probably knows darn well you're losing weight successfully, and if he wants to do the same he can do it.

The best I can do is encourage my husband to accept healthier meals at dinner because I'm trying to eat healthy. And encourage him to come along when I go for a walk, or a bike ride, or go to the pool. But it's his decision as a full grown adult.

JeromeBarry1

OP, I started this journey a year ago and have lost 89 lb so far. Mrs. B likewise was obese but I'm way too smart to notice. I just kept finding ways to stay in a calorie deficit and finding ways to show her how to do it and share some of my meals with her. In November I stepped on my scale to get a reading of my body fat percentage, just as I had occasionally done since February. I measured a bf of 19%, and was pleased. She decided that she was curious enough to see what hers was, and measured 49%. She was shocked, displeased, and motivated. She has since made changes to her food and activity and has already had to buy smaller clothes. You never know what will flip your hubby's switch. Enjoy your journey and I think seeing you with new happiness will draw him into the change.

Loug1983

Another vote for leading by example, I've been at this now for 6 months and my husband has finally got on board, he's not calorie counting, but he's making better decisions and starting to get in more exercise.

It's tough when your starting, you want support but your SO isn't on the same page, you just have to keep going, do the right thing for you and hope that with time you'll inspire him to follow suit!

TheSkyBlushed

mantramoon wrote: »

Hi all, I have a question, but it's a touchy subject. I started on here Jan 3, and am feeling good about it - I've lost 2 or 3 lbs in about 3 weeks and feel like I'm on the right track. I want to encourage my husband to lose weight too, but I don't want to make him feel bad. He's put on a noticeable amount of weight in the past year (we met less than 2 years ago). I want to be a kind wife, but it honestly does bother me. I liked him better the way he looked when we first met, and I want him to be healthy and live a long life. Do people out there have any ideas for how to encourage him to try losing weight along with me?

Focus on you. When he sees you losing weight & having fun, he will want to start. No nagging required.

duncan04

Everyone has great advice. This is what I did...I cleaned the house out of all temptation-gave it all away. Pantry/Freezer. I do the grocery shopping so I replaced it all with healthy foods and fresh food. We eat more green and less fat. I asked for a treadmill and elliptical and I had them put into our living room and rearranged the room and the big screen...now we both eat clean and we both use the equipment. We are going for the Spartan Trifecta this year!