I want to give up

heish7146
heish7146 Posts: 30 Member
edited November 15 in Motivation and Support
I'm really beginning to have the "*kitten* its." I have been consciously eating within my calorie goal, and exercising 3-5 times a week and the scale is not budging. What's the point of this crap is nothing is changing?

I'm not perfect. Some days I do eat over my goal.
I'm eating mainly veggies and lean meats. If I do chose to eat grains, they are whole grains.
I drink at least 6 glasses of water a day goal is 8-12, and have cut out my daily Diet Pepsi. (At most I have two a week)

I started slowly with exercising
Cardio
- 20 mins/3 days for for first week
-30-40 mins/5 days second week
-50-60 mins /4 days third week
-40-60 mins/ 3 days fourth week
-This week I've begun to add strength training

And before someone jumps on this... muscle weighs more than fat. My clothes fit the same. I'm discouraged, I'm pissed, and I want to give up.

Replies

  • RuNaRoUnDaFiEld
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld Posts: 5,864 Member
    Are you weighing your food on a digital scale?

    Can you open your food diary?
  • heish7146
    heish7146 Posts: 30 Member
    I am not, but have considered it.

    I sent you a FR
  • ladyreva78
    ladyreva78 Posts: 4,080 Member
    Posting this from another thread as it's just as appropriate here:

    Look on the bright side, you didn't gain either. :wink:

    Several things to keep in mind:
    1. Weight loss is not linear and you might not lose weight regularly like clock work.
    2. New exercise can (and often does) lead to water retention. Your body needs the water to help repair the muscles from the unusual new strain.
    3. How certain are you of your calorie consumption? Some database entries can be way off (user submitted), so always check against the nutrition labels or the usda entries (especially if it sounds too good to be true. 50 cals for 100g chicken? I wish...)
    4. addition to point 3: how are you measuring your food? Are you guesstimating? Using cups and spoons? A scale?

    Most important:
    Don't give up on yourself. It takes time and patience to lose. I started at 50kg to lose and I'm down 30kg with 20 left. I started in 2014 (MFP in 2016) and I'll probably still be working on losing in 2018...

    You can do this!
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    No wonder you are pissed. I would be pissed too (in fact, I have been doing much the same as you, and I was). Let me suggest another strategy: Eat and train in a way you would like to eat and train, even if it didn't lead to weightloss. To lose weight, all you need is a calorie deficit, but it needs to be consistent. So find a diet/exercise regimen that 1) provides a calorie deficit and 2) you easily can stick to.
  • mdcromer
    mdcromer Posts: 8 Member
    Do you have any way, such as a wearable activity tracker with a heart rate monitor, to somehow see if your workouts are effective? At 40-60 minutes and 1 month, you should be walking out of the gym looking like you jumped in the pool with your clothes on. If not, your workouts may not be intense enough to actually be effective. While any exercise is great and should not be stopped, good effective exercise comes at a price. As you exercise more and your body becomes more efficient at maintaining temperature, you will sweat at the drop of a hat and a lot. I don't like to spend a lot of time working out. I prefer to challenge myself by improving factors such as speed and distance in the same amount of time working out. You should also be increasing the intensity along with the time. While going through the weight loss process, working out will get easier but workouts should not. You will definitely see progress with a combination of a good diet and good exercise. Also, weight plateaus suck! You may have a week when no weight comes off but you are working out like a machine. This is when you have to stay the course and be strong. The weight drops will kick back in again.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    heish7146 wrote: »
    I'm really beginning to have the "*kitten* its." I have been consciously eating within my calorie goal, and exercising 3-5 times a week and the scale is not budging. What's the point of this crap is nothing is changing?

    I'm not perfect. Some days I do eat over my goal.
    I'm eating mainly veggies and lean meats. If I do chose to eat grains, they are whole grains.
    I drink at least 6 glasses of water a day goal is 8-12, and have cut out my daily Diet Pepsi. (At most I have two a week)

    I started slowly with exercising
    Cardio
    - 20 mins/3 days for for first week
    -30-40 mins/5 days second week
    -50-60 mins /4 days third week
    -40-60 mins/ 3 days fourth week
    -This week I've begun to add strength training

    And before someone jumps on this... muscle weighs more than fat. My clothes fit the same. I'm discouraged, I'm pissed, and I want to give up.

    First, you don't have to cut out your Diet Pepsi if you don't want to. There's nothing wrong with drinking diet drinks (not sure if you're worried about aspartame or them causing more hunger but that's not something you should worry about.)

    Second, you've been doing great with easing into the exercise. Kudos to you for not going crazy with it from the start and injuring yourself.

    Third, the point of eating well and exercise is overall fitness. I have to believe that you'd like to be healthier in addition to slimmer. Right now you are working on the healthier part by eating better and moving more.

    Fourth, it sounds like you need to cut back on food a bit. If you want to start using a scale, that's one way to get a good gauge of how much you are eating so that you know where to cut back. If you aren't using a scale and don't want to, you can simply look at your food log and cut back what you've been eating compared to it. Either option can work. You just need to figure out which is preferable to you.

    Best of luck to you!
  • PoundChaser2
    PoundChaser2 Posts: 241 Member
    I feel your pain. Im having the same issues I workout I eat within my calories and nothing. I keep plugging away as long as Im not gaining I feel like im winning.
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,159 Member
    Good that you're getting scales!
    I was estimating way off when I did it first time round and like you had no results!

    I used to blob it on my plate and be like "ermm about 100-150g" WRONG I put a similar amount on with scales 300g!!! And I was doing this with everything.
    Now I weigh every last thing even if it's a slice of cheese! (I just keep my scales out on the side)

    And since 1st Jan I've lost 6lb! (Based on -2lb/week MFP settings)
  • aelunyu
    aelunyu Posts: 486 Member
    Ok! Don't get sad or frustrated just yet. You're within a community of people trying to help. I see that you've just this week started the strength training and that's awesome! I always advise to incorporate some kind of resistance training. That just might be the ticket to ongoing progress, afterall.

    If you're not seeing results in a few weeks, I'd probably dial back food a little more, and ramp up exercise. Cardio is such a weird thing. The more you do, the more you'll have to do to keep losing weight, so I strongly recommend limiting it to within an hour (unless you want to be doing it incrementally more in the future).

    You're on the right path, and I'm glad you reached out for support, so don't give up!!!!!
  • RunawayCurves
    RunawayCurves Posts: 688 Member
    Stick at it but get a scale
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjKPIcI51lU
  • Kamaro1983
    Kamaro1983 Posts: 22 Member
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    heish7146 wrote: »
    I am not, but have considered it.

    I sent you a FR

    there's your answer... you're eating more than you think.

    This is what fixed my issue and it takes a while for some people to start dropping even after doing everything right. Took me a whole mth
  • heish7146
    heish7146 Posts: 30 Member
    Reaverie wrote: »
    I feel your pain but everyone here is right.. FIRST do it for health. Don't worry about your weight. Make a goal instead to eat under your calorie deficit.. even if it's .5 a month. Then decide what exercise to do and do it slowly. Work your way up to doing more.

    I started at 300lbs ... I'm 303! It's been 4 weeks and I gained to 306 and within the past week dropped 3 of those extras. I'm PISSED. And it doesn't help when the morons come out of the woodwork with false advise saying I must be eating more calories than I think I am when only I know what I was eating like before compared to now. Or that walking doesn't count as an exercise cause mfp already calculated in 3000 steps for sedentary. What they failed to consider is that I don't carry a pedometer with me during shopping or normal every day activity. I ONLY count the sustained 30 minute walks I force on myself as extra. It WILL come off.. but I am starting slow.

    I started with 1 mile a day the first week, taking 30 minutes just to walk it.. pouring sweat and gasping for air at the end. That's 2.0 mph. The slowest. But for someone who has done nothing more, that was an achievement! 2nd week I got that down to 25 minutes and did it twice a day. 3rd week, twice a day and 20 minutes. Now I'm up to 1.5 miles twice a day at 3.0 mph. AND I'm eating LESS! I still haven't lost any. As far as I can Tell, my clothes fit the same. The ONLY change is that.. I can walk 3 miles a day! And I haven't died yet! I feel MUCH better too. Back is killing me.. legs.. tummy.. butt.. all burn even after I sit down.. and my heart rate is 129 bpm when I walk so I know I'm doing cardio now.. so I just have to be patient.


    It will happen and I won't quit when I'm on the verge of a life changing break through. You keep going too. Once exercise becomes easier we can reassess everything else and make small changes to correct any mistakes.

    This sums it up. I know what I was eating like versus how I eat now. I know that instead of sitting on my butt I am working out 40-60 minutes at least 4 times a week. I too have only seen/felt a difference in my ability to do my cardio. And I know the intensity thing but I have been keeping my heartrate around 160 so that doesn't make sense that it isn't intense enough.

    Regardless, I am putting one foot in front of the other. Conintuing these healthy lifestyle changes. The other day I was just so discouraged. I appreciate everyone reaching out. I will get there. We all will.
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,868 Member
    I've been stuck for a week. I measure and weigh my food. But, I don't weigh ALL of the solids. Like the videos showed. Your weight will drop, just stick with it. You're doing great. And fantastic job on the 3 mile walks Reaverie!! Great start!!!
  • Reaverie
    Reaverie Posts: 405 Member
    fiddletime wrote: »
    I've been stuck for a week. I measure and weigh my food. But, I don't weigh ALL of the solids. Like the videos showed. Your weight will drop, just stick with it. You're doing great. And fantastic job on the 3 mile walks Reaverie!! Great start!!!

    Thanks! As an added bonus, my sciatica has pretty much dissapeared. That alone keeps me walking.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    Sometimes it just takes awhile. Stick with it, tweek here and there until it starts working. Weighing your food and portion control is a must. Try to be patient. I suggest taking your measurements and keeping a journal. I do mine weekly, but you can do monthly. When you hit a point where you're not losing you can pull it out and see your inches lost--that can boost you up and get you back on track.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    So it has been 4 weeks with zero change on the scale or in body measurements?
    You are eating at maintenance then. You need to change something in your CICO to lose weight not give up.

    What are your stats- age, height, weight, activity level without exercise?

    If you are logging exercise and eating exercise calories you may be overestimating burns. Check that. A lot of people only eat a portion of their exercise calories.
    Are you using an activity tracker? Is it synced to mfp? Is it possible you are double counting some exercise?
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10499662/double-counting

    Check your food logging for accuracy. Use a food scale. Check that the entries you select from the database are correct.

    Some things you may find useful to look over:
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10179969/weight-loss-flow-chart-2-0/p1
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10460011/the-ultimate-guide-to-mfp#latest
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10084670/it-is-unlikely-that-you-will-lose-weight-consistently-i-e-weight-loss-is-not-linear/p1
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10359984/women-menstrual-cycle-weight-and-fitness-matters/p1
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/818082/exercise-calories-again-wtf/p1
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10423219/eat-back-half-your-exercise-calories/p1
  • KeepRunningFatboy
    KeepRunningFatboy Posts: 3,055 Member
    heish7146 wrote: »
    I'm discouraged, I'm pissed, and I want to give up.

    Maybe where you need to begin is by working on changing your mindset? Pain can be a great internal motivator for change. Here's a suggestion, if it's not applicable I apologize. Read what to say when you talk to yourself by shad helmstatter. Pay attention to self talk levels 3 & 4. I use silent meditation self talk and written self talk. And I find it powerful to use for my food and exercise choices.
  • demorelli
    demorelli Posts: 508 Member
    There is a small percentage of people who burn fewer calories than calculators predict. If the other advice here doesn't help your progress, you might restrict your calories further for a short time (a week or two at most) and see if that works. There are other people using mfp who are successfully losing weight despite having this problem. I think there is a group but I'm not sure.
  • DaveDR7
    DaveDR7 Posts: 49 Member
    Hi Heish
    Just read what you said below.
    heish7146 wrote: »
    I'm really beginning to have the "*kitten* its." I have been consciously eating within my calorie goal, and exercising 3-5 times a week and the scale is not budging. What's the point of this crap is nothing is changing?

    I'm not perfect. Some days I do eat over my goal.
    I'm eating mainly veggies and lean meats. If I do chose to eat grains, they are whole grains.
    I drink at least 6 glasses of water a day goal is 8-12, and have cut out my daily Diet Pepsi. (At most I have two a week)

    Just re-read what you have written and be honest with yourself, you need a kick up the derrière, I'm sorry but that's it in a nut shell, you just want an excuse to give up, because in your mind you're already there, you've been cheating yourself; "some days I do eat over my goal" ..... yeah, really? How much do you go over your goal? The 300- 800 calories you burn off in exercise, no wonder you're still sitting at the same weight. You think some fairy god-mother is going to flick her wand and you're magically going to lose the weight you want. You're saying one thing, but doing another; "I've cut out my daily Diet Pepsi, at most I have 2" I bet you it's 3 or 4!?

    You want to change, but you're still eating way too many calories, it's not nice to tell you this, but if you want to change, you're going to have to be honest with yourself and I'm reading between the lines in what you're saying here and I'm telling you, it's time to stop cheating, dig-deeper and this week force yourself to do things properly this week!
    No more cheating!
    Cut out the crap, that's the excess food and Diet Pepsi's too!
    heish7146 wrote: »
    I started slowly with exercising
    Cardio
    - 20 mins/3 days for for first week
    -30-40 mins/5 days second week
    -50-60 mins /4 days third week
    -40-60 mins/ 3 days fourth week
    -This week I've begun to add strength training
    The best thing you could have done, well done!!! Cardio is going to get you fitter, but are you testing yourself every couple of weeks, can you do more of the same exercises in a minute than you used to? Are you using a HRM?
    If you're doing this and reducing your calorie intake, you will definitely be losing weigh, so you must be rewarding yourself with that extra Diet Pepsi you love so much or some chocolate because you've been a good girl for exercising!
    But now the reality check, you're 4 weeks in, you should have seen a massive change in your fitness levels, you should be able to run up the stairs and have your breathing under control in 30 seconds, if you can then well done again and this will only confirm what you already know..... you're eating/drinking too many calories!
    I'm beginning to hate Cardio, I'm learning if you don't step it up, the benefits don't get better, my weight is Yo-yoing, because even I'm doing things wrong, I go under my BMR some days, all this does is help to store my excess fat and build more; I don't like having to dig deep, I don't like putting that extra effort in, to lose that extra couple of pounds this week, it's much easier to maintain the same exercise regime and not step it up a couple of notches, I've learned this week it might be better for me to do less time on cardio but raise the bar in "all out" exercise...... I hate this, because it hurts, it burns, I'm so out of breath and then I realise all that extra breathing, in through my nose out through my mouth is literally burning fat too and getting me fitter!
    heish7146 wrote: »
    And before someone jumps on this... muscle weighs more than fat. My clothes fit the same. I'm discouraged, I'm pissed, and I want to give up.
    There you have it, you already want to give up, that's not the mindset you need. It's time you stop *kitten* footing around, cut out the rubbish.
    For 2 weeks, be honest with yourself, write everything into your plan, every extra snack you take, measure your meals/weights, cut the freaking Diet Pepsi completely!!!!
    10 mins of hard Cardio is probably better than 30 mins of easy going Cardio, dig deeper and faster this week, give yourself time to recover.
    If you do all that this week and you don't lose a couple of pounds, then either you're still cheating yourself or you have one of those bodies that despite hard exercise and dieting you maintain your body weight, medical science would pay a lot to examine and test you, then you could afford liposuction! ( the easier way to lose weight and you can easily lose ££££'s that way)
    So want to try harder this week or give up?
    You can feel sorry for yourself, you can deny you're not doing anything wrong, but deep down, you already know this and you know you're not doing everything perfect, this is why you're crying out for help.
    No more cheating, time to be perfect, dig deep and hard to exercise harder/faster, come back next week and tell me you've lost more than a couple of pounds and you'll be on the right road to recovery.
    Start this weekend and keep it up for one week to see a difference you can make to your life!
  • MissMaggieMuffin
    MissMaggieMuffin Posts: 444 Member
    serindipte wrote: »
    As one above said, if you give up, then it won't change.. it may, but it will likely be up instead of down. You've been given good advice by previous posters, but I want to push more on the food scale and here's why:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnnpUYmr0OM

    To the OP, hope you hang in there and see this through!

    Reading all these posts has been so inspiring, particularly the advice to WEIGH food. Thought I was doing a reasonably good job of measuring but, after some frustration with not losing as quickly as I hoped, went out and bought a scale. Yep, my measuring and/or estimates were way off! Sometimes in my favour, but mostly not.
  • Sally123422
    Sally123422 Posts: 6 Member
    I totally . Get it I was the same way 6 years ago I started gaining weight for no reason so I started exercising more and it didn't help every time I ate sweets I would gain more weight then the calories per pound add it up it didn't make any sense then I realized that your hormones have more to play then your calories and exercise that's why some people can eat a lot and don't gain weight and others eat right and gain weight everyone is different at some point your body either gets overwhelmed and exhausted from making hormones or you're not absorbing the nutrients to make the hormones I started with balancing my intestines so that I could absorb nutrients better I found ReNew Life first colon cleanse is a really good product to takes about 14 days then I started taking probiotics to give my intestines the good bacteria which helps you make and absorb a lot of enzymes and nutrients after that I started taking a tsp liquid cod liver oil in the past people used to eat liver once a week the reason being is that there's something in the liver helps balance your hormones I also started taking spirulina which helps reverse insulin resistance insulin is another hormone that affects your weight also 200 mcg of chromium gtf and sunflower lecithin and vitamin E only natual d alpha not dl form and vitamin D these are all vitamins that your body uses to keep your hormones balanced and then i take calcium at night. Give your body what it needs it will do the work for you. Dont stress about it that makes bad hormones that tell you to gain weight. Hope this helps Sally
  • KMathilde
    KMathilde Posts: 5 Member
    First off, congrats on sticking with it and getting a scale to help you reassess your calorie intake! Good move. It's the best way to really be accountable for creating that deficit. Secondly, I know what you're going through. The way I have to think about it to avoid getting discouraged is that I've made changes that will sustain me for a better life, health and fitness overall. If my weight loss has stalled for the time being, I guess it's what my body needs. I'm tinkering with - as others have suggested - upping the intensity, either through improving speed, resistance or duration of my workouts. So far, that's not making much of a difference but it's OKAY! The plateau will break. Lastly, the fact that you've invested the time, belief and energy in yourself is awesome! Keep going. We believe in you.
  • vickib30008
    vickib30008 Posts: 3 Member
    If you have done all of the above and are still struggling, try to change things up. Eat your biggest meal at a different time of day, try changing your exercise routine and definitely make sure you are drinking enough water.
    Oh and I don't know if its true but I heard the caramel coloring in colas can retard weigh loss. Best wishes.
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