Self Sabotaging/Emotional Eating

sarasmiles124

I had lost 40 lbs but since I started working my third job the weight has come back on, and some. The other thing to make a resurgence is my emotional eating. When my life is stressful, which it pretty much is all the time at the moment, I eat crap. Or I will go for what is easy, not what is good for me. I self sabotage. I will look at something and want it and instead of asking if I need it, I just get it, eat it and then guilt myself after. It's a vicious cycle I've gotten into again, and I want to get out of it, so I need to figure out a better way to deal with my emotions. Any tips?

neandermagnon

exercise is good for making you feel good and relieving stress. I know when you feel stressed it can be hard to get started, but just focus on feeling good at the end of it (i.e. from endorphins). My personal experience is that heavy lifting, barbell squats in particular, are best for stress relief, but I think any strenuous exercise will do. Then eat a post-workout meal high in protein and enough healthy carbs for you (depending on your calories/macros) and relax.

that will help to relieve stress and reach your body composition goals at the same time.

j6o4

Positive thinking to reduce stress.

ellenvmelon

It's the pits eh! Old habits die hard! My tip is to have snacks on hand to go to if you just really need a wee something. I know it's not good to 'feed the emotional beast' but at least if you have healthier option the 'aftermath' maybe won't be so bad.

I drink lots of cups of tea too! Gives me something to do - making and drinking it can take my mind off of wanting treats.

sunshine_gem

Emotional eating and self sabotage are things that I'm really good at so I sympathise! The first thing I did was try to figure out why I do it. For me it involved a lot of counselling and soul searching but I got there in the end. Try and look at when you first started doing it, what triggered you to use food as a crutch? Was there a particular situation or event that happened? If so, then it could be there's a bigger issue underneath that you haven't addressed that's causing you to sabotage yourself.

Breaking a habit like this isn't easy but it can be done. Maybe put an old picture of yourself on the fridge so when you go for the food you don't really need you'll see it and remind yourself of what you're trying to achieve. Try planning your day in advance, foodwise and factor in something like a chocolate bar or ice cream or whatever your vice is. Then if you're out and about during the day and you see something you might want tell yourself you can't have it because you have your treat waiting for you at home. Don't beat yourself up if you do give in one day. Just get back on track and try again the next day. You've done it before and you can do it again. I hope any of this makes sense. Good luck!

kindasortachewy

Make a list of the reasons you want to get fit. Look at them often.

UncleMac

Establishing health eating habits is hard... really hard... It requires regimentation and self-discipline. I didn't get obese by having good eating habits, regimentation OR self-discipline. I guess that's why they call weight loss a 'lifestyle change' eh?

When you think about it, when tackling most bad habits, the point is to stop the pernicious behavior. Give up the cigarettes or whatever substance being abused.... but you can't give up eating!

You mentioned the other day that you wanted to create a daily menu and start planning your meals. How is that going?

MSam1205

Could not believe it when i saw your topic in the listing. I just spent today totally sabotaging all my hard work of the past 2 years. No, i did not put back on 62 lbs today, but it feels like it.... Thank you for making feel not quite so alone with this issue. I just wish i knew why...

_EndGame_

You could make a HUGE amount of something healthy that you like, then freeze it. Thus making it easy to eat something healthy, as opposed to something unhealthy and quick. It may sound like an old person thing to do (my nan used to do it) making a big batch of something and then freezing it, but it's economical and good for you.

Also as someone else mentioned, exercise is always a good stress reliever, although, if you work 3 jobs, I'd of thought you would get exercise commuting between them.

Hezzietiger1

I just tell myself, "_____________ is for fat girls, and you're not a fat girl". Kept me from eating a fair funnel cake the other day. If I don't eat like a fat girl, I won't be a fat girl. LOL Rather than self-sabotaging, try to play on the other emotions.

Hearts_2015

bump

JollySnidge

Tell me about it, I work in telesales, and every time I get yelled at I feel like a Mcdonalds or a chocolate bar from the vending machine. I can't always stop myself, or maybe the truth is I don't want to stop myself. But, if you're too tired and stressed for cooking at night, I suggest those ready meals at ASDA, in the plastic pouches, most are 3-4 hundred calories, and they taste great, just bung them in the microwave.

For snacks, I replace a cup of tea (no sugar) or have an apple.

But, I also over eat to celebrate, even if I'm celebrating weight loss! It's insane.

sarasmiles124

The major challenge I have is trying to plan my meals out. My shifts rotate from days, to evenings, to overnights and trying to find time in between is hard. I never feel like working out on my days off because I either try and spend it with friends or family whom I don't see very often or I just want to veg out completely.

For me, a lot of it is emotional. I let the craving take over, I eat what I crave, feel good for about 30 seconds and then after end up beating up on myself because even though it was what I wanted, it definitely was not what I needed. I look at myself in the mirror and see flaws, but what am I doing to make the situation better? Right now, nothing. It's going to be pushing myself and dealing with some of the anxiety and the tie ins with the emotional eating that I need to work on and build on better coping skills. It's challenging, but I don't want to keep on this way. I just see myself getting bigger or not budging at all and its disheartening but I do it to myself.

A friend of mine the other day said that if I'm not willing to push myself to get to the gym or follow a meal plan then I am probably happy or satisfied with where I am weight wise. I know that's not true because of the way I feel when I look at myself, but looking at myself makes me worse and makes me emotional and it spirals. I know these things about myself, its just pushing myself to be positive and look at all the areas of my life where I do do well. I need to make taking care of myself a priority. Up till now, my only priority has been fulfilling unsettling urges to eat crap that I don't need.

joolsweb

Hi ya, I feel this too and would welcome any further tips for success. I'm a dreadful emotional eater, probably also linked to un diagnosed SAD - if I'm happy I want to 'celebrate' and it never occurs to me that it shouldn't be food, or that I can still 'celebrate' with healthy food, if I'm sad, the same, if I'm bored, the same, if the weather is 'inclement', the same....round and round I go.

When I'm having a good day I can stay focussed eat healthily and exercise and I love that feeling of being 'good', feeding my body what it needs and not what I think my emotions want and knowing I will lose weight.

Anyone out there who's ridden and successfully come out of the emotional eating rollercoaster? Please help. TY

joolsweb

bump

sophygld

eat lots of protein - sometimes our emotional eating is actually a response to glucose highs and lows ... and those actually make you want to eat food that is sugary and comforting. Protein makes you full for a long time. My most successful diets have been the times I have gone low carb ... the theory is you can eat as much protein and fats as you like but avoid sugar and carbs. So if you are starving go eat cheese or meat or even whipped cream if its not sweetened with sugar . I am on mfp now as though those diets worked really well for me in the past they did not solve my need to exercise and once I stopped eating low carb the weight went back on quickly BUT I could eat alot of food and have no guilt even if it was emotionally driven as long as it was protein-type. So camembert cheese, bacon, cream ,,, it was all fine and I was losing weight fast! Maybe something to consider to get you through at present while you are struggling with different meal times and stress in your life. I am sure many people think this is bad info but just saying what worked for me!

sarasmiles124

I just need to know my triggers - for me its stress. And lack of sleep, that normally gets me emotional and leads to me sabotaging. I push myself to a breaking point sometimes and its not good for me physically or emotionally, but I always tell myself, I need the money to pay the bills or to pay rent and push through. The problem with this cycle I am in right now is that I feel like my weight ties in so much with confidence and this includes my confidence at work.

I work in two fields where confidence and the ability to be self assertive are assets but I find that when I'm feeling insecure I make mistakes and this triggers the eating. The thing is, I know this about myself, but I still do it. I lost weight before, I just need to get focused again.

skinnymalinkyscot

Sorry youre having such a rough time of it ((hugs))). Im just like you, I get upset and want to eat. You have given the reason for your overeating in your post, a lack of sleep and mental stress. You HAVE to get more sleep, even if it means going to bed at 8 or 9pm like a schoolchilds bedtime. Go upstairs close the door (thats also a signal to other people in the house you want to be left alone) take up a drink and an apple, a good book. I do this everynight now and it has made a huge difference getting more sleep, Im less hungry , have more energy and am a lot calmer. My room is as inviting as I can make it, my bedside table is a converted coffee table, it has a pretty lace mat, a lovely tiffany style lamp, a tiny crystal clock, a photo of my mum in a silver heart shaped frame, a victorian jug with some fresh flowers in it, a rose scented candle and a vintage green water jug with tumbler, the underneath shelves hold all my books and glasses and the side pockets all my magazines and puzzle books. The room is too small for a dressing table so my windowsill has various trinket boxes holding my jewellery and bottles of perfume spread along. Im more than happy to go to bed early as I feel so relaxed in that room. You may have a different style bedroom to mine, yours might be craft orientated or minimalist, but either way I would go and REST , put on the radio quietly, read the bible, just chill out.

Ive edited this to add your job sounds incredibly hard and demanding so I really feel fro you. The only thing you can do when you work erratic hours is when you go shopping buy as many things that dont spoil from being left around, such as tins of things just in case when you finish work the shops are closed, its going to be days before you can shop properly due to your shifts and youre hungry. That way you can at least grab something healthy at home instead of something unhealthy . I would grab the nearest thing no matter how rubbish if i was starving, tired and weary. Maybe get some cartons of long life juices, tinned fruit, some low fat ready meals for the freezer, microwaveable packets of rice, all the things you like to eat have a look around and see if any of it comes in packets or long life and put some by for your bad days when youre working late and the shops are closed when you finish. To give an example of a reasonably healthy meal which doesnt need a fridge or a freezer and can live in a cupboard for a few months and you could take it to work with you, is uncle bens microwaveable pots of pasta and pasta sauce or rice and chilli, if you dont have access to a microwave the pasta and sauce could be eaten cold . Both packets say 300 calories. Best of luck

slim4health56

I had lost 40 lbs but since I started working my third job the weight has come back on, and some. The other thing to make a resurgence is my emotional eating. When my life is stressful, which it pretty much is all the time at the moment, I eat crap. Or I will go for what is easy, not what is good for me. I self sabotage. I will look at something and want it and instead of asking if I need it, I just get it, eat it and then guilt myself after. It's a vicious cycle I've gotten into again, and I want to get out of it, so I need to figure out a better way to deal with my emotions. Any tips?

I feel ya' and let's add a little compassion here. You're stressed. Really stressed with a schedule out of control. I see the emotional eating (I've been there) and I hear the pain in your words. You aren't the only one that uses food as a drug and the "crap" you're eating that's loaded with fat and sugar does some pretty amazing things to our brains and hormones - they calm us down, make us feel full and safe, comforted...

Exercise, as already suggested, is a great way to reduce stress. Professional counseling can help, Overeaters Anonymous works for a lot of folks (and it's free). That's the good news - all of this can help. The bad news is that you'll need to deal with this head on and until you do, well, logging your calories won't help (except when you binge and then play that guilt number on yourself).

You know there are healthy and convenient foods available (fruit and vegetables just need to be washed); a thousand frozen low calorie entrees are available in most any grocery store (4 minutes in the microwave). I doubt this is the problem and add to this: Change is hard, bad habits are hard to break, and impossible to break if you don't replace them with a replacement "good" habit.

Getting back in touch with your inspirations for losing weight can help, but you really need to look at them hard - feel them - and then compare that final goal you had in mind with your daily behaviors. It's a lifestyle change (you've heard that a thousand times, I'm sure, but it's still true).

You can do this!

sarasmiles124

Skinnymalinky (I think I spelled it right) See, reading the way you have described your room makes me realize that another part of this is that my room is a mess. It's chaotic because I have a hard time staying organized. It's also in a color that I hate but haven't had time to paint over. It's not as calming. Other parts of my apartment are similar - disorganized, scattered and random. And so it feels like my mind is a product of the environment.

As for my jobs - to give you an idea, I work in banking/finance during the week and I work in homeless shelters for women and children at one place, and adult men at another and it can get stressful and hectic as well depending on how the atmosphere is on any given day.

I need to stop being negative. Other people can feel it coming from me, and I don't want to be thought of that way, its just trying to be positive when your having a brutal week like I am having is challenging lol.

Slim4health56: it is painful to realize what I am doing to myself. And to know that the desire to change is there, but the willpower is the problem. I need to make it simpler, and I need to make it flavorful and healthy to make sure I want to eat it. I don't want my weight to be a constant issue, but if I keep letting things go the way they have, it will be. I have done it before, I just have to refocus and give myself a daily goal.

unoriginalusername007

I'm the biggest emotional eater! And once I start eating my emotions, I figure what the heck I'm already over my calorie limit, and I continue on with emotional eating,therefore sabotaging myself. -_- I recently read this and it has helped with emotional binges: http://christinekane.com/do-you-take-all-or-nothing-to-the-extreme/

slim4health56

Slim4health56: it is painful to realize what I am doing to myself. And to know that the desire to change is there, but the willpower is the problem. I need to make it simpler, and I need to make it flavorful and healthy to make sure I want to eat it. I don't want my weight to be a constant issue, but if I keep letting things go the way they have, it will be. I have done it before, I just have to refocus and give myself a daily goal.

I do feel your pain but I'm thinking it's not a willpower thing. It takes considerable willpower to work two jobs (whether it's to pay the rent and get through another month or save for a great vacation). You could decide to only work one job and face the consequences but for whatever reason you don't do that (and this isn't a criticism or judgment in any way and certainly none of my business). Same with the weight loss...there's something else that's "eating" you which makes you disconnect with the theory that behavior = outcome when it comes to what you choose to eat. Right now, you're losing the battle inside. I'm suggesting that you look a little deeper than willpower (could be habit, could be you're using food to fill a void or it could be something as straightforward as hormones). Don't EVER eat diet food (whatever you perceive that to be) - I totally agree that you need to eat flavorful and healthy food and it's out there! If this is an issue of simply getting organized, then you know exactly what you need to do! You can do this!

sarasmiles124

I have made a concerted effort over the last two days to make sure I eat better and I am feeling so much better for it. Now I just need to work on getting the exercise in.

UncleMac

I have made a concerted effort over the last two days to make sure I eat better and I am feeling so much better for it. Now I just need to work on getting the exercise in.

Good for you!! Small positive steps, building on your successes!!

sarasmiles124

It's going to be making it consistent that I am going to work on. I just need to remember how good it feels when I have a good eating day so that I don't put any crap in my body.

Juliann4k9

This is the story of my life. I need major help!!!!!!!!!

sarasmiles124

It will be challenging and you are going to feel tested every single day but once you can consistently do it it becomes easier. I just have to get myself back into that mindset myself. You can do it! Add me if you would like some support!

ploppersdf1

Emotional eating and self sabotage are things that I'm really good at so I sympathise! The first thing I did was try to figure out why I do it. For me it involved a lot of counselling and soul searching but I got there in the end. Try and look at when you first started doing it, what triggered you to use food as a crutch? Was there a particular situation or event that happened? If so, then it could be there's a bigger issue underneath that you haven't addressed that's causing you to sabotage yourself.

Breaking a habit like this isn't easy but it can be done. Maybe put an old picture of yourself on the fridge so when you go for the food you don't really need you'll see it and remind yourself of what you're trying to achieve. Try planning your day in advance, foodwise and factor in something like a chocolate bar or ice cream or whatever your vice is. Then if you're out and about during the day and you see something you might want tell yourself you can't have it because you have your treat waiting for you at home. Don't beat yourself up if you do give in one day. Just get back on track and try again the next day. You've done it before and you can do it again. I hope any of this makes sense. Good luck!

THIS!!! ALL OF THIS!!!! people don't seem to realize that emotional eating is an eating disorder.. you should seek guidance in therapy. because you can make all the healthy food you want, and you can make habits and everything else, but unless you find out what triggers you to break away from the path, you will always continue doing it.

sarasmiles124

For me its stress that triggers it. When I am stressed out - whether it be work related, something in my personal life- I always gravitate towards something that makes me temporarily happy and then feel guilty about it afterwards. I've eaten in front of a mirror before and been absolutely disgusted when I look at myself, but then go and get something that is completely wrong for me to eat. I think I definitely need to consider the counseling for this issue and other issues I have been trying to deal with on my own that I probably need help with.

QueenWino

I have to have days of bad foods or lots of wonderful drinking and nibbling, but what is balancing that is a freezer w/a bunch of homemade kale, chickpea soups, lentil soups, homemade sweet potato goat cheese casserole squares, vegetarian lasagna squares, and in my fridge I am only on track when I make a large delicious kale coconut salad that can provide lunches or dinner options for 3 days w/o getting gross, as well as a soup and a chickpea pita filling or cracker topping. I am always trying to make a grain salad or soup to give options and I portion everything out in correct serving sizes. When the food is there, my bad food choices are happening maybe once every 6 days, a huge improvement in my world. The stress of life tries to derail my plans and sabotages my will for sure, but the process of making a few consistently delicious meals in larger portions to tuck some away helps at least one area stay in my control. I am incredibly busy so I menu plan w/healthy mags, cookbooks and web sites 1-2 times a week and just commit the hour or so it takes to crank out a few dishes. I will get grumpy sometimes looking at the containers all ready to be taken to work and think I might have wanted to slip into that Mexican restaurant or bagel shop, but I took the time to make this dish I really enjoy. I know all about the erosion of a healthy lifestyle so am much more forgiving of myself this time around and am taking it slow, making my decisions as best I can w/o attacking myself w/guilt. If I wasn't putting the effort in so many other days, I would drown in the guilt, but because I am, I have a bit of strength to turn that noise off and wake up ready to do my best the next day. There is a way for you to do what will work in your lifestyle, you just have to tinker until you get it. Making a pan of energy bars and a carton of hard boiled eggs is oddly fulfilling as a starter. Snacks, ready to grab & go. Sometimes simple is best. I'm in your corner!

sarasmiles124

Could you send me some of your recipes - particularly the kale-coconut salad and sweet potato and goat cheese squares?