Struggling with dinner

saraksam

I'm really good at sticking to my plan the entire day, but I struggle so hard when it comes to dinner. My husband is thin and dislikes eating my "healthy" foods. He would prefer to get takeout or go out to dinner. I'll tell him in advance what I'm having, but when it comes down to the moment, I often opt to join him for dinner rather than eating separately, which results in me overeating or indulging in foods I'd prefer to avoid.

TLDR:
If I were alone in a bubble, I'd do fine, but I have no self-control at dinner with friends/husband.

kbmnurse

Why can't you honor your commitment to yourself and make healthy choices when you go out?

Unknown

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leanjogreen18

My husband also likes to eat out.

I've yoyo'd for years and this is the first time I losing weight for ME, not an event, vacation etc just ME. So for the first time I don't care what he eats or where we go out to eat I try to make it fit my calorie goal for the day.

If its Mexican (which I love) I will usually go up to my goal weight maintenance calories which will only slow my weight loss down and not stop it.

I've changed not my husband so I go along and do my thing while he does his:).

Best!

jemhh

I lost over 50 pounds eating out 2-4 times a week. The vast majority of restaurants have menu options that can fit in a reduced calorie diet. If you decide to go out to eat, you need to learn to look for those items. Grilled meat, salads with the highly caloric toppings or dressings put on the side or left off, steamed veggies, etc.

If you don't want to go out, just don't. You've trained your husband to expect you to go out or get takeout often. That's the norm in your relationship. If the norm is not helping you meet your health goals, it is time to change it. Have a talk with your husband and say that you can do takeout or a restaurant meal X times per week or month because you are trying to make healthier choices, which are easier for you to make at home. And then stick with that.

shellyae

Look at the restaurant's menu online before going, pick out something reasonably low calorie to order. When you get to the restaurant, don't open the menu or you might be tempted to change your order.

Drueru

He can still get his take-out, and you can eat your meal with him at home! Just make sure he respects your goals and will not offer you even a french fry.

sammyliftsandeats

Did you completely overhaul your diet, OP? Like cut out this and that and are only eating 'clean'?

If so, then maybe you can look into incorporating what you used to eat, but in smaller portions. So if your husband wants to have spaghetti and meatballs, you can too...but in a smaller portion than his and you can bulk out your dish with low calorie vegetables and he doesn't need to have them if he doesn't want to.

If not, then you should be able to find something that fits your goals. Yes, it might mean not getting the fries with the burger, but you can get a good burger for a decent calorie goal (make modifications if you need to) and be satisfied while enjoying your takeout with your husband.

leanjogreen18

Drueru wrote: »

He can still get his take-out, and you can eat your meal with him at home! Just make sure he respects your goals and will not offer you even a french fry.

Heeehee I'm down 40 lbs so far and I eat french fries, not often but you bet my hubby will be prepared to share:).

cwolfman13

My "healthy" dinners are packed with flavor and are delicious...what exactly are you making for dinner that's "healthy" that he doesn't like? I ask because after about 4.5 years around here I've figured out that many people's definition of "healthy" is pretty myopic and tends to be boring and bland..."healthy" doesn't have to be that. Tonight I'm grilling a couple of petite sirloins and will be serving with garlic roasted broccoli. I will also have a small baked potato while my wife will skip that...

deonbfit

If I were you I'd look online for some healthy delicious dinner recipes that you can cook and eat through the week. He would probably be on board to eat with you and you could just have your recommended serving size. I've been eating Pad thai on the lighter side, healthy chicken parm, healthy shrimp stir fry, etc etc etc. The internet it FULL of healthy delicious recipes that will have you sticking to your plan. I've been eating these foods in the size they recommend and have been smashing lbs like crazy!

saraksam

Wow, thank you all for the fast replies!!! This is really helpful. I definitely feel more "empowered" to just say no to his choices etc., if they don't fit in with my goals. I've held a lot of guilt onto doing something separately from him, and this helps me feel like I can do the right thing for myself as well.

I agree with looking @ restaurant menus ahead of time. If I'm planning to go out, I don't struggle, because I know what I'm going to get. It's when my plan changes and I no longer am eating what I had decided to have that things fall apart (for example, planned cooking at home and ended up getting takeout instead). I think I really need to work on my "in the moment" decision making, and not let being hungry/frustrated/etc. be an excuse for poor choices.

lulalacroix

A little planning goes a long way. If you plan in advance you could save up some calories from earlier in the day or even the day before. You could also review the nutrition guide for said restaurant online to choose lower calorie options. Also eat half and save the other half for another meal.

I eat out fairly often. It doesn't hinder my loss when using the the above.

leanjogreen18

saraksam wrote: »

Wow, thank you all for the fast replies!!! This is really helpful. I definitely feel more "empowered" to just say no to his choices etc., if they don't fit in with my goals. I've held a lot of guilt onto doing something separately from him, and this helps me feel like I can do the right thing for myself as well.

I agree with looking @ restaurant menus ahead of time. If I'm planning to go out, I don't struggle, because I know what I'm going to get. It's when my plan changes and I no longer am eating what I had decided to have that things fall apart (for example, planned cooking at home and ended up getting takeout instead). I think I really need to work on my "in the moment" decision making, and not let being hungry/frustrated/etc. be an excuse for poor choices.

This will set you up nicely for a successful maintenance of weight loss which is the end goal!

sammyliftsandeats

saraksam wrote: »

Wow, thank you all for the fast replies!!! This is really helpful. I definitely feel more "empowered" to just say no to his choices etc., if they don't fit in with my goals. I've held a lot of guilt onto doing something separately from him, and this helps me feel like I can do the right thing for myself as well.

I agree with looking @ restaurant menus ahead of time. If I'm planning to go out, I don't struggle, because I know what I'm going to get. It's when my plan changes and I no longer am eating what I had decided to have that things fall apart (for example, planned cooking at home and ended up getting takeout instead). I think I really need to work on my "in the moment" decision making, and not let being hungry/frustrated/etc. be an excuse for poor choices.

I definitely agree than planning ahead of time is a huge component in my success. But changes do happen and when that occurs, I can take a quick scan of the menu and find an item or two that fits my goals or I have 'go-to' restaurant meals that are reasonable calories. It just takes some time and practice but I'm sure you'll get there.

And as other posters have said, there are a lot of different recipes out there that are low calorie and delicious. You don't even have to use the word 'healthy' if that scares your husband into thinking he's eating chicken breast and broccoli for dinner (nothing inherently wrong with that dish - it just seems like a 'go-to' when people think of 'healthy'). @cwolfman13's dinner sounds really good and it can fit into any calorie goal reasonably with the right adjustments. Maybe your husband will be into something like that?

Mini_Medic

I am the same way! Plan ahead and then impulse decisions get me into trouble. Best thing I have found is to get into the habit of not changing plans (very tough I know) but also establish routines and consistency. For me, this meant eating the same things frequently so I don't have to guess. It's easy at home if you make the same dishes, but it can be just as easy going out to eat! All you have to do is find the restaurants you and your hubby frequent, and find the healthiest or at least a more nutritional alternative and save that info in my fitness pal as a meal. Then when you go, you plug it in before you leave, so you see the total calories and you'll be much less likely to impulsively choose a higher calorie option in the moment it you've already seen the Macao and calorie breakdown. I also have several varied calorie meals that are my go to when I go out to frequented restaurants. So if I've had a low day with breakfast/lunch then I know I can "splurge" and have a different meal that is say 600 calories instead of 450. Best of luck! Remember consistency and establishing a routine habit is key.

DancingMoosie

My hubby loves to go out for a burger. If I don't want to spend my calories on burger and fries, I can get grilled chicken sandwich or a salad with grilled chicken. At Mexican restaurants, order fajita skillet, no sour cream/rice/tortillas, extra pico. I can order chicken breast or steak (or grilled fish) at most restaurants and sub a salad or fresh vegetables for other sides. At home, I make whatever "healthy" meal I want, he can add butter, cheese, bread to his plate.