How to encourage loved ones to make healthy changes?

ekritter7

I'm 18 and making huge steps towards a healthier lifestyle lately. My boyfriend (20) lives an incredibly sedentary lifestyle and eats junk food all day every day and then whines about feeling fat or sad or just all around sick. I've tried gently encouraging him to be more active and eat more healthfully, but he always has an excuse. It's a similar - although less drastic - situation with my mother (56).
My sister (24) and dad (54) on the other hand are so obsessed with physical fitness and healthy eating that it's pretty much their addiction. I work hard to find a balance between these two alternatives, but it's hard. How can I encourage my family members to try to find a balance too?
Do I need to just be blunt?
Suggest some semi-subtle but reliable ways of helping them get healthier.
Thanks! Much love! Elle

Note: everyone I mentioned in this post is at a healthy weight- except for me; I'm about six pounds overweight and working on it. I'm just concerned about the effects their lifestyle choices are having on me

Ninkyou

All you can do is lead by example.

Otherwise, let them do them and you do you. If they want to change their lifestyle and be healthier, they need to do that on their own.

mactaffy428

Agree, leading by example is the best you can do. Don't try to get your family to do things your way; just doesn't work. Sometimes, we have to figure things out for ourselves through the tried-and-true method of sometimes failing. Be there with support and advice (if asked) but when they see you being happy and healthy with your balanced lifestyle, they just might start to follow.

DaveDR7

I've got to agree with the others, look after number 1 first, trying to ensure everyone else is healthy, just puts up the stress level and makes you less likely to gain the health you're after.
The old saying, 'you can lead a donkey to water, but you can't make it drink!' comes to mind. By ensuring you reach your healthy goals first, will mean you can pass on those benefits as advice to your boyfriend and family. I doubt though your bf will change so easily, unless he's shamed into or finds the light himself and realises he's missing out on his potential health.
How about buying 3-4 health magazines, one being a men's fitness magazine that you bought because of an article for men/women inside and just happened to leave it hanging around for a couple of weeks, then buy a couple of kettle bells (neutral colour, don't buy girly pink) of different weights, I bet within a few hours of you using them he won't be able to contain himself and "show" you how to use them, now if you can get him to do 30 - 50 lifts and if he doesn't do it, you can ply the 'oh boy, you need to get fit' or if he does 'well done, but I bet you can't keep that up for a week?'.
I always thought women are very good at manipulating their men! ;-)
Good luck!

TavistockToad

You can't make other people change, you just do you.

lorrpb

Focus on the examples set by your dad and sister rather than bf and mom. Maybe you could do workouts with sister. Ask bf to go on a walk or hike together. If you live with family, pitch in by fixing dinner a couple times a week. Everyone has different goals and preferences, so its not realistic to think that your view of "balance" is correct and everyone else should adopt it. At the same time, if you and bf have different goals and his lifestyle is detrimental to yours, maybe it's not the right relationship for you at this time?

Redheadmama89

I went through something similar with my husband a while back. I wrote him a letter about how I felt about everything. He had gained so much weight since we moved in together and he was always bringing junk food in the house. The letter was painful and it upset him but ever since then we have always tried harder to make healthier choices.

ekritter7

Thanks so much everyone!!!