Why I'm here. (Warning it gets a Little sad)
CurvyPrincess66
Posts: 84 Member
I have Always been overweight. I was the girl who was to chubby to be a ballerina but dreamed of it. I was the girl who was told she was to fat to be a cheerleader when that's all she really wanted. I was told that I would be beautiful if I was skinny by a guy I had been in love with for years. I have been told I'm to fat to have children by a Dr who's job was to help me. A person I once knew said to me that I would never live to see 40 because if fat and I would have a hear attack. I don't like to eat in front of strangers or even my family because I feel like they judge how much I eat or what. I cry every time I try to shop for clothes because nothing in style will actually fit me. Once I brought home a pizza for dinner and kids in the park across from my home laughed and joked about how I had a hole pizza and it's probably why I'm fat. I have been called names that keep me up at night in tears and have been torn down to the point where I swore I would never eat again. I'm here because I won't let the scars of my past paint the picture of my future I'm here because some day all of this will be a distant memory and some day I will reach my goals maybe not today or even next month but I'll get there.
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Replies
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The hardest step is always taking the first one and I'm sorry you've had to go through so much. With that attitude I know you will reach all your goals. I would just advise starting small and slowly and celebrating the partial victories. It's easier to take it at 5 pounds at a time rather than just seeing it as a full 40/50 etc. Have you got a rough idea of what you want to lose and have you looked at things like your basal metabolic rate?2
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Welcome to MFP! You are in good company here. Lots of us have been heavy for a long time. Some of us, like me, for longer than you have been alive. It seems like a huge challenge to overcome, but MFP makes it pretty straightforward and the support of others in the community can be a huge help.
My suggestion is to think of it as a lifestyle change and focus on the small changes that will eventually help you reach your goal: daily logging of your meals, modest daily calorie deficits, and daily physical activity. If you make those things a habit and celebrate each one of them as you do them, you will eventually reach your goal and stay there. Forget about all of the haters along the way, do it for yourself, because it feels good! You can do this!4 -
I'm so sorry.
You can do this. And do it for YOU.
MyFitnessPal is great... I have learned a ton here.1 -
The hardest step is always taking the first one and I'm sorry you've had to go through so much. With that attitude I know you will reach all your goals. I would just advise starting small and slowly and celebrating the partial victories. It's easier to take it at 5 pounds at a time rather than just seeing it as a full 40/50 etc. Have you got a rough idea of what you want to lose and have you looked at things like your basal metabolic rate?
I'm not sure what a metabolic rate is. I have Pcos so my body works in all kinds of strange ways. My goal are 2lb a week hopefully 40lb by my birthday is August and a long term of 150lb.1 -
Here ya go, use this calculator to help you out. It helped me lose 50 pounds.
http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/
Then go get yourself a food scale and weigh and measure everything and log it daily. Guaranteed if you do these both you will achieve your goal.1 -
Welcome to MFP! You're in good company here
Since you mentioned PCOS, I'll say that some people find it makes weight loss more difficult, but not impossible. There are some people here with PCOS who have incredible success stories, so maybe one of them will chime in. Definitely celebrate the small victories, because they add up over time. In a lot of ways, weight loss is about how stubborn you can be and how long you can stick with it, not about how quickly you can lose or whether you are exactly on track to hit your goals every single week. Definitely aim for those 2 pounds per week, but also be okay calling it a win if you still lose but don't quite get to the 2 pounds. Good luck!1 -
I found it sticks better for me when I have a very clear picture of BMR and how many calories I need to pay attention to. Cut out pop/junk if you currently have any, drink a ton of water in various forms, and keep calories in check and you'll see results ASAP. You've found a good place with lots of support 1
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I have PCOS too. Feel free to add me if you want someone to cheer you on every day who knows that it's a bit extra tricky when your hormones are working against you haha. It can be done still though! Step one is to love yourself enough to embark on this journey. You can and will do this because you deserve it, not because someone else made fun of you or laughed. Screw them. Focus on you and how much stronger and happier you will become.
I second the food scale thing! It's a must in order to really learn portion sizes.2 -
Welcome. You've come to the right place and I'm so glad to see you're setting realistic expectations. Your goals are very achievable, unlike many who come here and set themselves up for failure right from the beginning.CurvyPrincess66 wrote: »My goal are 2lb a week hopefully 40lb by my birthday is August and a long term of 150lb.
Good luck, stay strong, remember to celebrate the achievements and not dwell on the failures. You'll have bad days and good, make bad choices and good, feel bad and feel good. Roll with the punches, lean on your pals here or support, and you'll be there before you know it.
You've got this.
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2 lbs a week is unrealistic and unhealthy in the long-term.
You need to be training properly and hope for about 1 pound a week.
Any more than that and you will be setting yourself up for disappointment.
You might lose 1.5 or 2 pounds a week and first but that will soon end.
You need to focus on weight training instead of cardio if you want to lose "weight" and hope to keep it off.
In reality you should be thinking in terms of losing fat and adding muscle instead.
That means your weight might not change sometimes but your waist size might.
Your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) is how many calories you burn just by being alive.
Your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE) is how many calories you burn with exercise and the like.
Weight lifting will also help to prevent osteoporosis and increase bone density which is a frequent problem with women.
Don't worry about getting "bulky".
It will not (cannot) happen unless you plan to be on steroids for about 5 years and train as a full-time job.
The more muscle you have the higher your BMR, so it is easier to keep the weight off.
Cardio can burn muscle when there is not enough protein in your diet.
That will make it harder to keep weight off.
Make sure you are getting at least 80 grams of protein per day in your diet.
You probably aren't getting much more than 1/2 of that.
About 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight would be better once you start training properly.
Cardio should be after weight training or on days that you do not lift, for now.
This site explains what you need to do and have access to: https://stronglifts.com/5x5/
Start by reading to educate yourself.
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
For what it is worth, the book Thinner Leaner Stronger: The Simple Science of Building the Ultimate Female Body will teach you more about effective training, nutrition and diet than many people here even pretend to know.
You can do it if you want to bad enough.
Crying and feeling sorry for yourself is in the past.
Start imaging yourself 2 or 3 years from now and keep working towards that goal.
It is all about discipline and dedication. No one can do this for you.
You have to want it bad enough to make sacrifices every day.
Log your food more accurately and open up your food diary if you want help.
Get a Brita jug and keep clean water in the fridge if your water is unpleasant.4 -
ButterballBookworm wrote: »I found it sticks better for me when I have a very clear picture of BMR and how many calories I need to pay attention to. Cut out pop/junk if you currently have any, drink a ton of water in various forms, and keep calories in check and you'll see results ASAP. You've found a good place with lots of support
It's harder to drink water because it tastes terrible here but I do drink almost 6 cups of Organic green tea every day and I can.use the wayet to make it because the tea makes it taste good.0 -
2 lbs a week is unrealistic and unhealthy in the long-term.
You need to be training properly and hope for about 1 pound a week.
Any more than that and you will be setting yourself up for disappointment.
You might lose 1.5 or 2 pounds a week and first but that will soon end.
You need to focus on weight training instead of cardio if you want to lose "weight" and hope to keep it off.
In reality you should be thinking in terms of losing fat and adding muscle instead.
That means your weight might not change sometimes but your waist size might.
Your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) is how many calories you burn just by being alive.
Your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE) is how many calories you burn with exercise and the like.
Weight lifting will also help to prevent osteoporosis and increase bone density which is a frequent problem with women.
Don't worry about getting "bulky". It will not (can not) happen.
The more muscle you have the higher your BMR, so it is easier to keep the weigh off.
Cardio might burn muscle which can make it harder to keep weight off.
Make sure you are getting at least 80 grams of protein per dayin your diet.
You probably aren't getting much more than 1/2 of that.
About 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight would be better once you start training properly.
Cardio should be after weight training or on days that you do not lift, for now.
This site explains what you need to do and have access to: https://stronglifts.com/5x5/
Start by reading to educate yourself.
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
For what it is worth, the book Thinner Leaner Stronger: The Simple Science of Building the Ultimate Female Body will teach you more about effective training, nutrition and diet than many people here even pretend to know.
You can do it if you want to bad enough.
Crying and feeling sorry for yourself is in the past.
Start imaging yourself 2 or 3 years from now and keep working towards that goal.
It is all about discipline and dedication. No one can do this for you.
You have to want it bad enough to make sacrifices every day.
Log your food more accurately and open up your food diary if you want help.
I wouldn't worry about any of this OP. With so much to lose, you should be able to safely lose 2 lbs a week for the foreseeable future. Exercise isn't something I would worry myself about either or protein consumption, not at this point.
I would just make small changes and eventually all those small changes will add up.7 -
2 lbs a week is unrealistic and unhealthy in the long-term.
You need to be training properly and hope for about 1 pound a week.
Any more than that and you will be setting yourself up for disappointment.
You might lose 1.5 or 2 pounds a week and first but that will soon end.
You need to focus on weight training instead of cardio if you want to lose "weight" and hope to keep it off.
In reality you should be thinking in terms of losing fat and adding muscle instead.
That means your weight might not change sometimes but your waist size might.
Your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) is how many calories you burn just by being alive.
Your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE) is how many calories you burn with exercise and the like.
Weight lifting will also help to prevent osteoporosis and increase bone density which is a frequent problem with women.
Don't worry about getting "bulky". It will not (can not) happen.
The more muscle you have the higher your BMR, so it is easier to keep the weigh off.
Cardio might burn muscle which can make it harder to keep weight off.
Make sure you are getting at least 80 grams of protein per dayin your diet.
You probably aren't getting much more than 1/2 of that.
About 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight would be better once you start training properly.
Cardio should be after weight training or on days that you do not lift, for now.
This site explains what you need to do and have access to: https://stronglifts.com/5x5/
Start by reading to educate yourself.
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
For what it is worth, the book Thinner Leaner Stronger: The Simple Science of Building the Ultimate Female Body will teach you more about effective training, nutrition and diet than many people here even pretend to know.
You can do it if you want to bad enough.
Crying and feeling sorry for yourself is in the past.
Start imaging yourself 2 or 3 years from now and keep working towards that goal.
It is all about discipline and dedication. No one can do this for you.
You have to want it bad enough to make sacrifices every day.
Log your food more accurately and open up your food diary if you want help.
I wouldn't worry about any of this OP. With so much to lose, you should be able to safely lose 2 lbs a week for the foreseeable future. Exercise isn't something I would worry myself about either or protein consumption, not at this point.
I would just make small changes and eventually all those small changes will add up.
I agree. I lost 50-60 lbs (100% through diet and tracking calories) before I even started working on my exercise or protein intake. I think down the road it's something to consider but just starting out. Just focus on making the small changes and tracking calories4 -
You can friend me if you like. I've lost 30 lbs so far. Got another 84 to go. I'm in no hurry. I'm just tracking what I eat, eating what I love (in smaller portions than I used to) and exercising.
In my case, I've developed some medical issues. My BP has always been high-ish, though not to the point where it needs medication, but recently I discovered that I have poor lower body circulation and refluxed veins. The doctor told me that my legs aren't coping well with the weight they're called on to support and losing some of it will go a long way toward managing the condition.
(And my Dad has had Type II diabetes. It went away after he had bariatric surgery, but I don't want to go that route if I can get the extra pounds off through watching what I eat and exercise.)0 -
I have some weight training in my routine just bit a lot I don't have much at my disposal there's a weight thing in the workout room but I only know how to do a few things with it0
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2 lbs a week is unrealistic and unhealthy in the long-term.
You need to be training properly and hope for about 1 pound a week.
Any more than that and you will be setting yourself up for disappointment.
You might lose 1.5 or 2 pounds a week and first but that will soon end.
You need to focus on weight training instead of cardio if you want to lose "weight" and hope to keep it off.
In reality you should be thinking in terms of losing fat and adding muscle instead.
That means your weight might not change sometimes but your waist size might.
Your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) is how many calories you burn just by being alive.
Your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE) is how many calories you burn with exercise and the like.
Weight lifting will also help to prevent osteoporosis and increase bone density which is a frequent problem with women.
Don't worry about getting "bulky".
It will not (cannot) happen unless you plan to be on steroids for about 5 years and train as a full-time job.
The more muscle you have the higher your BMR, so it is easier to keep the weight off.
Cardio can burn muscle when there is not enough protein in your diet.
That will make it harder to keep weight off.
Make sure you are getting at least 80 grams of protein per day in your diet.
You probably aren't getting much more than 1/2 of that.
About 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight would be better once you start training properly.
Cardio should be after weight training or on days that you do not lift, for now.
This site explains what you need to do and have access to: https://stronglifts.com/5x5/
Start by reading to educate yourself.
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
For what it is worth, the book Thinner Leaner Stronger: The Simple Science of Building the Ultimate Female Body will teach you more about effective training, nutrition and diet than many people here even pretend to know.
You can do it if you want to bad enough.
Crying and feeling sorry for yourself is in the past.
Start imaging yourself 2 or 3 years from now and keep working towards that goal.
It is all about discipline and dedication. No one can do this for you.
You have to want it bad enough to make sacrifices every day.
Log your food more accurately and open up your food diary if you want help.
Get a Brita jug and keep clean water in the fridge if your water is unpleasant.
None of this is necessary, and it may not be applicable to the OP.
1. She has 150 pounds to lose to her ultimate goal, so 2 pounds per week is fine for now.
2. Not everyone wants to lift. Quite frankly, not everyone gives a *kitten* about muscle or fat, and that's okay. It's fine if her initial goal is just to see the scale number go down. She can start out just focusing on her diet. She can add lifting later, or cardio later, or nothing later. All of those are okay options for her.
It's not always helpful to start out with a brand-spanking newbie, who clearly has some emotional baggage when it comes to weight and food (and also, quite frankly, who doesn't?) by giving them a huge list of everything they need to change all at once. Your heart is in the right place and your advice is spot-on for some people. I happen to agree with you about all of it, for some people. It's not for everyone, and it's a lot to take in right off the bat.
OP, if the quoted approach sounds like what you've been looking for, that's fantastic. Go with it. If it sounds overwhelming, that's okay too. You don't have to start out that way. It's okay to start out just by tracking your food, and then add other things later if you want to.10 -
I didn't say she would not lose weight doing that. I said she shouldn't do that if she wants to keep the weight off.I agree. I lost 50-60 lbs (100% through diet and tracking calories) before I even started working on my exercise or protein intake. I think down the road it's something to consider but just starting out. Just focus on making the small changes and tracking calories
Health and fitness is more than just your "weight".
To keep the weight off, prevent muscle loss due to diet (not to mention sarcopenia) and help prevent osteoporosis she needs to be weight training.
This is especially true since she has given herself a "deadline".
A consistent weight training routine will make her look "smaller", even if her "weight" does not manage to move as much.
Small changes only "add up" if there are enough of them and they are mostly good ones.
I used to be a personal trainer back in the day and I still coach 3 days per week.
Feel free to take my advice and experience or leave it, as you wish.0 -
estherdragonbat wrote: »You can friend me if you like. I've lost 30 lbs so far. Got another 84 to go. I'm in no hurry. I'm just tracking what I eat, eating what I love (in smaller portions than I used to) and exercising.
In my case, I've developed some medical issues. My BP has always been high-ish, though not to the point where it needs medication, but recently I discovered that I have poor lower body circulation and refluxed veins. The doctor told me that my legs aren't coping well with the weight they're called on to support and losing some of it will go a long way toward managing the condition.
(And my Dad has had Type II diabetes. It went away after he had bariatric surgery, but I don't want to go that route if I can get the extra pounds off through watching what I eat and exercise.)
I think I have poor circulation in my legs they turn bluish purple sometimes.0 -
You got this! It's hard to see past the hurtful things that people say. I have struggled for so long with self esteem and confidence. From the time I was in kindergarten all the way to the end of high school, I swear there wasn't a day that went by where I didn't get made fun of. It wears you down. I'm 34 and just now starting to realize my worth. We are somebody. Perfectly imperfect in our own way. Use your past as your strength. No one is perfect, especially people that say hateful things. But you are you. No one on this earth like you. And that's something to be proud of. I also read that your a mom and one quote that I love is "To the world you may be one person, but to your children your are their world." Now take your past and use it as fuel to kick butt in this weight loss journey!!!!1
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CurvyPrincess66 wrote: »estherdragonbat wrote: »You can friend me if you like. I've lost 30 lbs so far. Got another 84 to go. I'm in no hurry. I'm just tracking what I eat, eating what I love (in smaller portions than I used to) and exercising.
In my case, I've developed some medical issues. My BP has always been high-ish, though not to the point where it needs medication, but recently I discovered that I have poor lower body circulation and refluxed veins. The doctor told me that my legs aren't coping well with the weight they're called on to support and losing some of it will go a long way toward managing the condition.
(And my Dad has had Type II diabetes. It went away after he had bariatric surgery, but I don't want to go that route if I can get the extra pounds off through watching what I eat and exercise.)
I think I have poor circulation in my legs they turn bluish purple sometimes.
Mine turned red. No pain, no swelling, just red/dark pink. I sort of had it filed under 'get it looked at one day' but, no pain, no swelling, no rush. And then one day, one calf swelled up and it turned out to be cellulitus, which led to lymph edema, which led to a referral to a vascular surgeon and the refluxed veins diagnosis, which led to MFP...0 -
2 lbs a week is unrealistic and unhealthy in the long-term.
You need to be training properly and hope for about 1 pound a week.
Any more than that and you will be setting yourself up for disappointment.
You might lose 1.5 or 2 pounds a week and first but that will soon end.
You need to focus on weight training instead of cardio if you want to lose "weight" and hope to keep it off.
In reality you should be thinking in terms of losing fat and adding muscle instead.
That means your weight might not change sometimes but your waist size might.
Your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) is how many calories you burn just by being alive.
Your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE) is how many calories you burn with exercise and the like.
Weight lifting will also help to prevent osteoporosis and increase bone density which is a frequent problem with women.
Don't worry about getting "bulky". It will not (can not) happen.
The more muscle you have the higher your BMR, so it is easier to keep the weigh off.
Cardio might burn muscle which can make it harder to keep weight off.
Make sure you are getting at least 80 grams of protein per dayin your diet.
You probably aren't getting much more than 1/2 of that.
About 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight would be better once you start training properly.
Cardio should be after weight training or on days that you do not lift, for now.
This site explains what you need to do and have access to: https://stronglifts.com/5x5/
Start by reading to educate yourself.
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
For what it is worth, the book Thinner Leaner Stronger: The Simple Science of Building the Ultimate Female Body will teach you more about effective training, nutrition and diet than many people here even pretend to know.
You can do it if you want to bad enough.
Crying and feeling sorry for yourself is in the past.
Start imaging yourself 2 or 3 years from now and keep working towards that goal.
It is all about discipline and dedication. No one can do this for you.
You have to want it bad enough to make sacrifices every day.
Log your food more accurately and open up your food diary if you want help.
I wouldn't worry about any of this OP. With so much to lose, you should be able to safely lose 2 lbs a week for the foreseeable future. Exercise isn't something I would worry myself about either or protein consumption, not at this point.
I would just make small changes and eventually all those small changes will add up.
I agree. I lost 50-60 lbs (100% through diet and tracking calories) before I even started working on my exercise or protein intake. I think down the road it's something to consider but just starting out. Just focus on making the small changes and tracking calories
I'm going to agree as well. We bigger folk can very safely lose more than 2 pounds a week for a while without it being a problem. It is smaller people who shouldn't try losing more than that. We're not there yet so do what feels safe and effective! Seriously, I've lost 17 pounds this month and nothing is wrong because I weigh a lot. As I get closer to goal, that loss speed will slow down.
But I will also agree with that guy about Stronglifts 5x5 if you're interested in weight lifting. If not, check out some of the awesome HIIT workouts on YouTube. What I like about SL5x5 is that I'm competing with myself only. It's simple and somehow that simplicity is peaceful. Plus, having stronger muscles is especially important when you have a heavy body to support. But doing bodyweight exercises via HIIT is effective as well. The biggest reason I recommend them is that you sound sad and those two types of exercise are the only kinds that made me feel that natural high afterward. My elliptical doesn't and neither does walking/jogging so I can't recommend them. Who knows? Maybe for you it's kickboxing or yoga.
If you're not into exercise yet, just getting the right macro+calorie balance will help you with losing. If you get stuck, check with doctors. That's about it for unsolicited 2 cents. I wish you well, chica. It can all be very overwhelming but you can do it once you find your flow.
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mommabear4ag wrote: »You got this! It's hard to see past the hurtful things that people say. I have struggled for so long with self esteem and confidence. From the time I was in kindergarten all the way to the end of high school, I swear there wasn't a day that went by where I didn't get made fun of. It wears you down. I'm 34 and just now starting to realize my worth. We are somebody. Perfectly imperfect in our own way. Use your past as your strength. No one is perfect, especially people that say hateful things. But you are you. No one on this earth like you. And that's something to be proud of. I also read that your a mom and one quote that I love is "To the world you may be one person, but to your children your are their world." Now take your past and use it as fuel to kick butt in this weight loss journey!!!!
Thank you for this. I'm not a mom yet but I hope to be sone dat.0 -
I didn't say she would not lose weight doing that. I said she shouldn't do that if she wants to keep the weight off.I agree. I lost 50-60 lbs (100% through diet and tracking calories) before I even started working on my exercise or protein intake. I think down the road it's something to consider but just starting out. Just focus on making the small changes and tracking calories
Health and fitness is more than just your "weight".
To keep the weight off, prevent muscle loss due to diet (not to mention sarcopenia) and help prevent osteoporosis she needs to be weight training.
This is especially true since she has given herself a "deadline".
A consistent weight training routine will make her look "smaller", even if her "weight" does not manage to move as much.
Small changes only "add up" if there are enough of them and they are mostly good ones.
I used to be a personal trainer back in the day and I still coach 3 days per week.
Feel free to take my advice and experience or leave it, as you wish.
All of your points are valid but telling someone who's 150lbs over weight and inexperienced in training that they have to start lifting weights and tracking macros can be a bit much to begin with. These are all important things but probably should be built up to.
Making small changes and building on those over time to create sustainable changes is probably a more effective way forward for most. Although you're a PT it doesn't necessarily qualify you to give nutrition advice or psychological advice which may be more what the OP needs
Things like - getting some exercise even if it's just taking the stairs, parking further away when going to the shops or getting a short walk in with a friend, cutting out/down on soda and beverages that contain calories, eating more vegetables, logging accurately to learn about baseline calorie intake and appropriate portion sizes, having some protein with every meal or working out some effective ways of dealing with stress and emotions that don't involve food.2 -
Well done for taking the first step. It might be a long road, but you'll get there. Good luck!0
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You will get there, I have fair way to go but in time it will be achieved. I found this group really helps, as done tracking what I'm eating. Sending you a big hug, you've taken the first big step x0
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Welcome!! You are Beautiful no matter what size you are. Get healthy because you love your body not because you hate it. You have support here Good Luck, I know you got this! And if you want one more friend, I am a good one to have. 0
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I have only been logging for a few day and im finding is very difficult to stay in the goals and it makes me realsize how much I was eating before. I find carbs are my big problem. And sugars a, close second. I also don't get enough protein in my diet. There is so much to work on.1
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Focus mostly on calories. I almost always go over my sodium, and I can sometimes be significantly below my protein, but so long as your food choices put you under your calories, you are going to lose weight. Eat a variety of foods and it's going to balance out.0
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