Supportive family Not

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  • Spliner1969
    Spliner1969 Posts: 3,233 Member
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    wendypark811 wrote: »
    5ft 1in, was 10st 3lb, bmi 28.3. Size 16/18
    Now 8st 10lb (before christmas 8st 3lb), bmi 22.
    Blood pressure etc is spot on so healthy.

    Thanks for all your support.

    Yup jealousy. Nothing wrong with a 22 BMI.
  • Master_Butcher
    Master_Butcher Posts: 50 Member
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    ccsernica wrote: »
    I have nothing particularly useful to say, but I think this is a good illustration of why obesity tends to run in families. It's not genetic exactly.

    True point. Sucks for people who genuinely want change. My heart goes out to peeps with such toxic supposed "support systems".
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
    edited January 2017
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    Some red flags here, especially in you posting history.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10439986/worried


    I have a feeling your family comments are more out of concern than anything else. Your severe fear of gaining weight speaks for itself. Sorry but I am with your family and think some professional help may be beneficial to you.
  • Spliner1969
    Spliner1969 Posts: 3,233 Member
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    elphie754 wrote: »
    Some red flags here, especially in you posting history.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10439986/worried


    I have a feeling your family comments are more out of concern than anything else. Your severe fear of gaining weight speaks for itself. Sorry but I am with your family and think some professional help may be beneficial to you.

    I wondered about that. There was a lot of information left out of the original post. At a normal BMI of 22 you should be eating at maintenance level. If the OP is still dieting then there's a problem.
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
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    OP, with the stats you've provided, your current weight is in the healthy BMI range.
  • applemiki
    applemiki Posts: 13 Member
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    It also depends on how much the OP wants to lose or maybe they are wanting to be more toned, which some call wanting to lose the "skinny fat".
  • LiminalAscendance
    LiminalAscendance Posts: 489 Member
    edited February 2017
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    cerise_noir wrote: »
    OP, with the stats you've provided, your current weight is in the healthy BMI range.

    Heaven forbid that someone could decide to lose weight for aesthetic reasons.

    There is nothing to suggest the OP has disordered eating habits (except the reported faux concern of individuals whose vantage is probably from the overfed-undermoved crowd).

    Additionally, the OP's BMI is comfortably in the healthy range.

    It seems like posters on this site like to throw around diagnoses, which, even if they knew these individuals personally, they are unqualified to perform.

    ETA - This shouldn't have been a response to cerise_noir. It was referring to other posters' comments.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    LiminalAscendance wrote: »
    cerise_noir wrote: »
    OP, with the stats you've provided, your current weight is in the healthy BMI range.

    Heaven forbid that someone could decide to lose weight for aesthetic reasons.

    There is nothing to suggest the OP has disordered eating habits (except the reported faux concern of individuals whose vantage is probably from the overfed-undermoved crowd).

    Additionally, the OP's BMI is comfortably in the healthy range.

    It seems like posters on this site like to throw around diagnoses, which, even if they knew these individuals personally, they are unqualified to perform.

    ETA - This shouldn't have been a response to cerise_noir. It was referring to other posters' comments.

    Severely restricting calories with an intense fear of gaining weight when already in a healthy weight range, is a huge red flag, one that shouldn't be ignored. Maybe it is just me, but giving advice to someone on jownto lose more weight, where there already seems to be an issue, is irresponsible.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    Yeah limit your time with destructive family and seek out good friends that allow you the room to be genuine.
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 9,984 Member
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    Gisel2015 wrote: »
    Reaverie wrote: »
    Are you anorexic? I have to ask cause I didnt see anything in your post that screamed 'monster' about what your family has been saying to you. They sound concerned. You didnt post stats so.... How do we know what advice to give?

    If you lost weight and you are like, 101 lbs.. You shouldnt be complaining here about worried family members. If you are overweight by 10 lbs or more, then just ignore them. If I got upset every time my family decided to be dicks, I wouldnt be able to function. My sil is a major B and my brother is a major A. My dad is king of them all.... NO one likes him. Yet I have to deal with him cause he moved in 10 years ago and im too nice to kick him out. But I sure as heck dont let his tude define my mood.

    Your profile says you are 53? Dont most people at 53 kinda stop giving a flying carpet about others opinions and just do what they want? I know lots of older people and most I have met build a thick skin by the time they reach 40. Just PFFT them and carry on.

    And what is wrong with 101lbs unless the person is very tall    ? You didn't know the height of the OP when you wrote the comment, so it is not fair to "imply" that 101lbs should worry her family or ask if she was anorexic. That is an unfair assumption. Later on the OP said that she was 5 feet 1 inches.

    I am barely 101 lbs and I am 4 feet 11 and if somebody tells me that I may be anorexic (with a 32DD and 35 inches hips) I will punch them in the nose.

    Your stats don't say anorexic, but your post might suggest anger management issues. :smile:

    Also, you don't have to be "very tall" to be underweight and potentially causing legitimate concern for family members at 101 lbs. You're 4'11". 101 lbs is perfectly fine. A woman could be a half foot taller than you (5'5'), which would be about average height in the U.S., so not remotely "very tall," and she'd be significantly underweight at 101 lbs (BMI of 16.8).

  • Gisel2015
    Gisel2015 Posts: 4,142 Member
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    I don't have any anger management issues but I do get annoyed when people makes assumptions just like @Reaverie did when she asked the OP if she was anorexic, and just like you did when you posted your comment. Over and out.
  • wendypark811
    wendypark811 Posts: 65 Member
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    I'am one of them people who hate defeat to me putting weight on and eating the stuff that made me put it in is defeat.

    7yrs ago I had to finish work between running around after my ill father and then my husbad became ill. My Dad had to go into a home because of his health but insisted that I go everyday (you never argued with him) 40min car ride round trip, would not move nearer either. So my day consisted of dog walk, caring for my husband then off to my dads for afew hrs to look after him do his shopping clean bedroom etc (he would not allow staff to do it) we could not live together. Then home cook clean etc at my own house. Weight went on quick.

    A year after he died I had a major water infection which changed my diet I became intolerant to glute/A1 protein and lactose. Which changed part of my diet.

    Then one weekend my Brother Sister in Law her family and mine went away for the weekend she took a photo which made me cry I looked huge. So of to the gym and diet. Did really well and worked hard so when I put weight on it is annoying all my hard work going to waste. My pants are getting tight. So must work harder.

    My Sister is lucky she got offered NHS (british health care) free gym and personal trainer and declined, due to her size. I pay for my gym and just hired a trainer.

    What amazes me is how can I out weight on yet my bmi goes down.
    Tried downloading photo's not sure if worked.

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    tx452nfliua2.jpg
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    What amazes me is how can I out weight on yet my bmi goes down.

    Wait, how does that work? BMI is based entirely on height and weight. If your weight goes up, your BMI goes up. Unless you also get taller...
  • Reaverie
    Reaverie Posts: 405 Member
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    Gisel2015 wrote: »
    Reaverie wrote: »
    Are you anorexic? I have to ask cause I didnt see anything in your post that screamed 'monster' about what your family has been saying to you. They sound concerned. You didnt post stats so.... How do we know what advice to give?

    If you lost weight and you are like, 101 lbs.. You shouldnt be complaining here about worried family members. If you are overweight by 10 lbs or more, then just ignore them. If I got upset every time my family decided to be dicks, I wouldnt be able to function. My sil is a major B and my brother is a major A. My dad is king of them all.... NO one likes him. Yet I have to deal with him cause he moved in 10 years ago and im too nice to kick him out. But I sure as heck dont let his tude define my mood.

    Your profile says you are 53? Dont most people at 53 kinda stop giving a flying carpet about others opinions and just do what they want? I know lots of older people and most I have met build a thick skin by the time they reach 40. Just PFFT them and carry on.

    And what is wrong with 101lbs unless the person is very tall? You didn't know the height of the OP when you wrote the comment, so it is not fair to "imply" that 101lbs should worry her family or ask if she was anorexic. That is an unfair assumption. Later on the OP said that she was 5 feet 1 inches.

    I am barely 101 lbs and I am 4 feet 11 and if somebody tells me that I may be anorexic (with a 32DD and 35 inches hips) I will punch them in the nose.

    I'm sorry you don't like that I'm not sugar coating my response to her like most everyone else. I can't help it if you care so little about others that your response is always in favor of what the other person wants and not what they want to hear. I'm trying NOT to kill her. She posted NO STATS and no pics when I asked her for them. Her profile was also remarkably absent of stats.

    So before I give the cliche "ignore your douchbag family and keep losing weight", I want to make sure that advice doesn't send her to an early grave. There ARE anorexics who THINK they are fat and believe those trying to save them are really against what they want.

    At 5'1 which she posted AFTER my question to another concerned person (thank heavens I'm not the only genius here who considers all potential angles), 101 is fine for a small to average frame. But it's pushing it for average. So it isn't unreasonable to ask her straight out if she is anorexic cause sometimes you have to come out with it straight to force a person to pause and consider their response.

    But you seem a bit self absorbed as you only seemed to clutch on to the first thing I said and ignored the rest which told her to ignore her family if she did have weight to lose. Usually people who grasp the advice that seems most offensive to them are trying to excuse their own failures when it hits too close to home.

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