Have you asked WHY you overeat?

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Replies

  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    red99ryder wrote: »
    well im thinking i like food and can eat more than i need ..

    good luck

    That's pretty much it for me, no deep dark reason other than if something tastes delicious i eat more than my body needs.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,279 Member
    I understand that for some people emotional eating or comfort eating is an issue.

    For me though I really dont think it was a factor.

    I just gradually put on weight because I like food too much and it was too available and and I gradually had become less active over the years - leading to the typical "middle age spread"
  • jrowden0711
    jrowden0711 Posts: 136 Member
    Boredom is reason #1 for me. As long as I keep my mind occupied I am okay. To counteract the boredom I have started an adult coloring book, increased my reading time and started exercising at home. I'm a third shifter so am up at night a lot by myself so boredom is more common at this time. It has definitely helped to acknowledge this is why I overeat and do something about it.
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
    Yes for me it is boredom of the hands and brain, needing something to keep the hands/brain busy.
    The food itself is completely irrelevant, but such as life is it happens to be often calorie dense when it is in front of a TV or doing nothing.

    So I just make sure I be busy doing something else or have my hands full busy - Can be various things - from going for a walk (I can't walk and eat), reading a book, knitting, writing, cleaning really anything, but those hands/brains need to be occupied.
  • caimay10
    caimay10 Posts: 6 Member
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    I thought I was an "emotional eater", and I thought I was a sugar addict, and I thought I just had bad eating habits. Now I think it's part physiological, part emotional, part environmental, plus lack of insight. I am gaining insight day by day. Threads like this one contributes greatly :)

    I grew up with way too large portions. I believed "full" meant "stuffed". I believed I had to eat that much, because I could eat that much. I believed I was "big boned", so I needed a lot of food. I used sweets and snacks to "rebel" and to enhance the effect of feeling sorry for myself (a perversely enjoyable activity). I would eat to ease anxiety, or eat instead of doing what I really should be doing, or to pass time, or just because I could, and I could as long as I had something, and I made sure I always had something.

    Whenever I got fat, I tried to compensate by restricting food. I would eat diet food, but the lack of taste and pleasurable mouthfeel made me overeat. I would wait as long as I could to eat, and then eat large amounts of boring food. I lost my appetite for food, while appetite for sweets skyrocketed. I thought the ideas of "meal schedule" and "portion control" sounded "restrictive".

    Then MFP to the rescue :D
    This has evolved through time, but basically: I decided to only eat food I like, to eat regular meals at proper intervals, to eat real food and only eat at meals, to wait until I'm hungry before I eat, and eat appropriate portions. I'm no longer afraid of "fat, sugar and salt" - I use what I need to make tasty meals. I sit down and enjoy my meals. Sometimes I eat just because I want to (not hungry), or overeat by mistake, or just because it's so damn good, but I don't just eat because there is something left, or because I'm offered, or because I'm bored or upset.

    Two years into maintaining a healthy weight now, the longest time ever (as an adult).

    I can relate SO much to this. I think I've dieted so much now, even doing it the healthy way, i.e. focusing on 3 meals and 2 snacks, lean protein, vegetables, whole grains...that the smallest amount of restriction feels too much. The way you eat now seems like it could be a good way forward for me, too.
  • caimay10
    caimay10 Posts: 6 Member
    paperpudding wrote: »
    I understand that for some people emotional eating or comfort eating is an issue.

    For me though I really dont think it was a factor.

    I just gradually put on weight because I like food too much and it was too available and and I gradually had become less active over the years - leading to the typical "middle age spread"

    I assumed this was my issue. But then I figured there had to be something more to it when I tried to restrict the type of food I was eating and the amount and for the life of me just couldn't.

    Did you encounter any problems when you started to eat less? or was it relatively plain sailing?
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Honestly? Because food is good, and eating is enjoyable and doesn't require any effort. It's as simple as that and really doesn't take a psychology degree to figure out IMO.

    Now, the 'naturally thin people' just enjoy what comes from being fit/slim more than they enjoy the food. That's the key right there to staying thin - whether it's vanity or being able to run, or just wanting to stay alive to see their children get married... that just matters more to them than having another brownie. So the key to losing weight is just finding other priorities that come with having a normal weight... and that's what people need to work on... and why the whole 'I need motivation' stuff is completely pointless.

    The whole 'trying to distract yourself if you want to eat something' is just a temporary bandaid if you ask me, it will never work long term (but yeah, it can make things easier short term).
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
    edited February 2017
    caimay10 wrote: »
    GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »
    CafeRacer808 wrote: »
    Tracking food intake and matching that with your feelings or behavioral patterns is a good idea. I know I tend to snack when I'm bored - especially at night - so I try to keep myself busy at night. "Idle hands..." and all that.

    I agree with this.

    It took me years to untangle my reasons for overeating. The problem was that even after I did all that I was still in the habit of overeating and had messed up hunger signals. So getting to the bottom of my issues only got me so far in that it only helped me to stop from mindlessly eating. I still overate.

    Ultimately, I've found that eating pretty much to a schedule helps along with having learned to eat slowly.

    Interesting. So, getting to the underlying reason is probably a good first step, but work still needs to be done. I was thinking earlier that even while I'm working on the mental side, I still need a solid plan. But the way I see it, working on the emotional/habit stuff will ideally make sticking to the plan easier.

    Yes, the main thing I was trying to get at is that it's ... okay, I'm going to go on a bit of a rant here about diet gurus. You know what really annoys me about them? All of them try to find one single reason why people are obese and it just makes me laugh.

    Having come out the other side of having been overweight after struggling with weight issues for 40 years and realizing how fracking complicated my issues with food are -- how very dare ANYONE with half an ounce of intellect try to insist that the issue with obesity is as simple as one common factor?

    I don't even think that the issues are the same from person to person.

    Oh sure, the one thing we all have in common is that we overeat, but the reasons why we overeat are varied, and how we go about dealing with that will vary and the resources we need to cope with delving into those issues and the strategies we need to adopt to compensate will vary as well. The new habits we'll need to form to compensate will also vary because what suits me best might not suit someone else.

    So I flip a big bony middle finger to every diet guru who likes to blame xyz for the obesity crisis. Anyone who does that is an automatic idiot in my eyes.

    Sorry for my rant. My main point is that the whole issue is even more complex than getting to the bottom of your issues. You have to, after doing that, compensate with new habits. At least that was my experience. Yours, as I said, might vary.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,606 Member
    edited February 2017
    The only times I've really overeaten ...

    1) Moving ... the whole process of packing up the house and moving is time consuming, plus the kitchen usually ends up being half packed, so we end up going the takeaway method. We're usually also trying to get rid of some of the food so we don't have to pack it, so early in the packing stage I'll go on a cake baking spree to get rid of cake mixes, and later we might have big bowls of cereal for dinner to get rid of that, and so on. Moving is a messy time when it comes to food.

    2) Prolonged illness ... like recovering from surgery or DVT or something. I usually end up going with comfortable convenient food for a while.

    3) Going through a transition from being very active to less active ... like when I developed DVT. I went from cycling 1000 km the previous month to nothing the next month. It takes a little while to adjust the diet appropriately

    4) Travel ... I put on the most weight I've ever done on an 8-month Round-the-World trip. Too much good food out there!! :):)
  • suzesvelte
    suzesvelte Posts: 134 Member
    A lot mine is habits, and I have had my own lightbulb moment when I read some books about the psychology of habits. I have learnt to understand the different parts of my brain that literally argue with me. I never understood how I could repeatedly undermine myself by making crap choices despite all I know about nutrition etc.

    The bad habit, immediate-gratification CHIMP brain always over-rides my calm, sensible knowledgeble HUMAN brain. I have started to control the chimp and things are looking much better.
  • caimay10
    caimay10 Posts: 6 Member
    These answers are all so insightful. I'm learning that I have to identify the void I'm trying to fill by eating despite knowing I'm hurting myself, break some habits that are deeply ingrained, and figuring out how to eat moving forward, whether I count calories or simply focus on eating foods that will nourish my body and not worry too much about specific amounts, but pay attention to hunger. Spending my Sunday working on this!

    Wondering how much eating should be for enjoyment vs fuel. For examply, once every couple of weeks I go for a McDonalds after dance class with friends. Should I be making a conscious effort to remove that from my life? Since I wouldn't say that I overeat during that time. The times I overeat are when I'm alone, and normally at home.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    caimay10 wrote: »
    These answers are all so insightful. I'm learning that I have to identify the void I'm trying to fill by eating despite knowing I'm hurting myself, break some habits that are deeply ingrained, and figuring out how to eat moving forward, whether I count calories or simply focus on eating foods that will nourish my body and not worry too much about specific amounts, but pay attention to hunger. Spending my Sunday working on this!

    Wondering how much eating should be for enjoyment vs fuel.
    I have found this question especially interesting. I used to think I had to choose between the two (aka "live to eat" vs "eat to live"), and that my "wants" would always be in conflict with my "needs". It's not like that at all (for me). Now that I'm mindful about my intake (mindful, as opposed to worried, which I used to be), never force myself to eat food I don't like; actually, I make an effort to compose meals I want, and portions are more suitable to my stomach, I enjoy my food more, and I eat to feel good short term and long term. I won't overeat because I don't like the feeling of "stuffed", and because I know that I can choose to stop before that happens, not because I'm scared I'll gain weight. And because I know I can stop whenever I want, the stress/compulsive eating has also stopped completely. This attitude change has made an enormous difference to how easy it is to stick to my plans.

    For examply, once every couple of weeks I go for a McDonalds after dance class with friends. Should I be making a conscious effort to remove that from my life? Since I wouldn't say that I overeat during that time. The times I overeat are when I'm alone, and normally at home.
    Don't cut out social eating, especially when it's the solitary eating that's difficult.

    I have learnt a lot from a lot of people, including this from Ellyn Satter:
    What is Normal Eating?
    Normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it -not just stop eating because you think you should. Normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food. Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good. Normal eating is mostly three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful. Normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be undereating at times and wishing you had more. Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating. Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life.

    In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food and your feelings.

    For more about eating competence (and for research backing up this advice), see Ellyn Satter's Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family: How to Eat, How to Raise Good Eaters, How to Cook, Kelcy Press, 2008. Also see www.EllynSatterInstitute.org/store to purchase books and to review other resources.

    ©2016 by Ellyn Satter published at www.EllynSatterInstitute.org.

    - See more at: http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/hte/whatisnormaleating.php#sthash.ZAgi9Brl.dpuf
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
    caimay10 wrote: »
    These answers are all so insightful. I'm learning that I have to identify the void I'm trying to fill by eating despite knowing I'm hurting myself, break some habits that are deeply ingrained, and figuring out how to eat moving forward, whether I count calories or simply focus on eating foods that will nourish my body and not worry too much about specific amounts, but pay attention to hunger. Spending my Sunday working on this!

    Wondering how much eating should be for enjoyment vs fuel. For example, once every couple of weeks I go for a McDonalds after dance class with friends. Should I be making a conscious effort to remove that from my life? Since I wouldn't say that I overeat during that time. The times I overeat are when I'm alone, and normally at home.

    I wouldn't worry about McDonalds. It's not necessarily healthy to remove everything.

    In fact, I've recently found it really wasn't. I just came out of a slump of restricting things too much because I wasn't seeing results (turns out to be there was a food item that I was using incorrect data to log and it had me eating at maintenance when I meant to be losing) and that restriction in both calories and my food environment triggered rebound behavior on my part. In loosening the reins and allowing myself the freedom to sometimes make what is a bad choice (my pantry is now full of treats I can have since I have certain food intolerances not shared by other family members), I've actually been making better choices.

    You'll find what your triggers are as you move along the path. It's not all something you work out at once. It's an ongoing process.
  • Sara1791
    Sara1791 Posts: 760 Member
    caimay10 wrote: »
    These answers are all so insightful. I'm learning that I have to identify the void I'm trying to fill by eating despite knowing I'm hurting myself, break some habits that are deeply ingrained, and figuring out how to eat moving forward, whether I count calories or simply focus on eating foods that will nourish my body and not worry too much about specific amounts, but pay attention to hunger. Spending my Sunday working on this!

    Wondering how much eating should be for enjoyment vs fuel. For examply, once every couple of weeks I go for a McDonalds after dance class with friends. Should I be making a conscious effort to remove that from my life? Since I wouldn't say that I overeat during that time. The times I overeat are when I'm alone, and normally at home.

    I'd say to keep your McDonald's dates. For me (maybe not for you?) eating socially is much better, healthier than eating alone. Maybe it's similar to the old rule about not drinking alone, though I'm not trying to equate alcoholism to overeating.
  • Reaverie
    Reaverie Posts: 405 Member
    Boredom, stress, and depression are my reasons. They are usually all connected, but boredom is my worst enemy. I can draw when stressed, and I can sleep when depressed.. but boredom seems to automatically seek out food stuffs.
  • zheeduh
    zheeduh Posts: 25 Member
    edited February 2017
    caimay10 wrote: »
    These answers are all so insightful. I'm learning that I have to identify the void I'm trying to fill by eating despite knowing I'm hurting myself, break some habits that are deeply ingrained, and figuring out how to eat moving forward, whether I count calories or simply focus on eating foods that will nourish my body and not worry too much about specific amounts, but pay attention to hunger. Spending my Sunday working on this!

    Wondering how much eating should be for enjoyment vs fuel. For examply, once every couple of weeks I go for a McDonalds after dance class with friends. Should I be making a conscious effort to remove that from my life? Since I wouldn't say that I overeat during that time. The times I overeat are when I'm alone, and normally at home.

    Eating should always be for fuel.

    That being said, sometimes you can still go out with friends just for enjoyment. There are times where I'll go to a restaurant with friends and get nothing at all (or just get a tea, or a small salad).

    You've already realized that you eat worse when you're alone. There are a couple ways to work around that:
    1) Don't be alone as often. Make an effort to be social!
    2) Don't keep anything around at home that's too unhealthy. That way, if you find the urge to binge eat, it'll at least be healthy, filling foods.
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  • Heartisalonelyhunter
    Heartisalonelyhunter Posts: 786 Member
    edited February 2017
    I agree that answerinv why obese people overeat is too much of a generalization. There are many different reasons. As is saying why slim people don't. There is a tendency on this site for people to think that slim people work at being slim, but a lot of them don't to be honest. They don't really think about it.
    The whole 'I love food' explanation is nonsense too. Because the people I know who eat/cook the most amazing food are all normal weights. And they don't work out. But they eat in amazing restaurants and cure their own bacon and generally don't eat food just because it's there or in chain restaurants.
    I truly believe that overweight people spend to much time thinking about food and slim people don't. If you obsess about anything it becomes a problem. For example, I love having sex but if I spent all day thinking about it and how to get it it would become an issue.
  • annacole94
    annacole94 Posts: 994 Member
    I'm realizing how uncomfortable I've become with boredom, or even just lack of stimulation. It's hard to be in boring situations (like listening to a training webinar or even an in-person class on a super dry subject). It's hard to have nothing to do for a while and no way to escape it. And so I introduce stimulation by being on my phone, and by eating. It's the same issue in two forms.

    And then there's just habit. It's evening, the kids are in bed, so ice cream.
  • annacole94
    annacole94 Posts: 994 Member
    Oh, and the fact that I like beer.

    But if I drink all the beer I like, I will gain weight. It, alas, needs to be less often especially in my "off season" from cycling.
  • OhMsDiva
    OhMsDiva Posts: 1,073 Member
    Of course I have thought about how I let my life and my body get so much out of control. The major reason is that I was majorly depressed. I have experienced a lot of childhood drama in my life and I pretty much did not think that I was important enough to take care of myself. I was abusing myself and I allowed others to abuse me. Somewhere deep in the recesses of my mind I did not think I could do better and I dont think I really cared.
    It took me 45 years to realize that I do matter and that if I dont care about and take care of myself then nobody else will because it is not their job. It makes me sad when I think of all the years I neglected myself, but I am proud of how far I have come.
    I still have a ways to go, but I damn sure am not where I was. Peace and blessings.
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