Plea se don't shoot me

Skrib69

This question may offend some, but that is not my intention. I seriously want to know how what people think...

OK, here goes.....

Since I have been on this journey I notice more people who could do with losing some weight.

At the sales meeting, most of my colleagues suddenly have a spare tyre to to lose.

I go down to the pub and most people are just simply clearly overweight

I walk down the street and see the same things.

Does anybody else feel this way?? Is it just that I have reached my goal weight and am noticing what I have just been too thick to see before??? Or have I just been too wrapped up in myself to notice.

Do you see the world like this????

Thanks for your comments!

AlongCame_Molly

Since having lost weight I think I notice other people's bodies more, too. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, as long as you're not judging them for it or anything.

JumpingDog

Yes, I notice these things now. I think it has to do with the fact that I am constantly trying to make better decisions and the decisions of the people around me frequently stand in stark contrast. I can't help but compare mentally. I think prior to losing weight, I was preoccupied with denying my own fatness. It doesn't help that most my friends have put on 10-30 lbs in the last year while I have been losing.

hookilau

Yep, you're just become more aware....it only becomes a problem when this inner dialogue makes it's way into conversations with folks outside your head or starts to color how you see your world. In my opinion anyhow :drinker:

BinaryPulsar

I think it is normal for people to become aware of or to see other people's bodies in a different way when they gain or lose or improve fitness or have any other changes. And I agree that it's fine (normal), as long as you aren't judging them. You probably see your own body (past and present) in a different way now as well.

R_Queenie

Fatness is everywhere! LOL:noway:

MyM0wM0w

I by NO means eat perfect but now I always notice what people have in their grocery carts. I'll notice the very large person in front of me in the check out line and want to roll my eyes at what they filled their cart with. Pop, chips, boxed foods, candy, etc....

Kalee34

Yes, I am the same way. I seem to notice everywhere I go those around me that could stand to lose a little bit of weight.

BigDnSW

If you are only looking at the outside of the "package", then you might miss a wonderful person inside. I find that comparing one's self to others (Psych 101) most often breeds jealousy, a sense of superiority, criticism, or bitterness.

So, no. Not gonna go there. There are some really cool friends I have that have spare tires, eat poorly, etc. It does bother me, but not because I am anything better than they are or reached some goal, rather that they would choose to live in good health body and soul.

Never forget where you came from: keeps ya humble and compassionate. There is far more to a healthy lifestyle than simple weight loss. Not being combative, just offering an alternative view/see of the world.

MyChocolateDiet

No this has never happened to me any of the times I've lost weight. I'm fashion judgey not fat judgey, I guess. I TOTALLY notice if someone is wearing something unflattering but I never think the fat is the problem. I just think some people fat or thin should be making different style choices. That's all.

I think these thoughts are weird but it's only because I don't have them. Doesn't mean they aren't valid and something to work on. Here's how I keep my fashion judgey in check:

1) i remind myself that not everyone cares about it or has to
2) i remind myslelf that not everyone knows what they could be doing differently
3) i remind myself again that even if they know, it doesn't mean they care. Or that they have to.
4) i remind myself that I am me. they are them and I have no control over them, I can barely control me.
5) i remind myself that we are not supposed to judge my upbringing tells me who had the right to judge and it's not me.
6) i remind myself that even if I did think I were justified to speak up that "DAMN girl I can see ur purple panties under your white pants"...guess what it would likely only lead to an argument, hurt feelings, or a douchey rep for me.
7) i remind myself that I have about a million other more important things to focus on than some strangers state of affairs.

kbmnurse

You got it a bunch of fat *kitten*.

BigDnSW

No this has never happened to me any of the times I've lost weight. I'm fashion judgey not fat judgey, I guess. I TOTALLY notice if someone is wearing something unflattering but I never think the fat is the problem. I just think some people fat or thin should be making different style choices. That's all.

I think these thoughts are weird but it's only because I don't have them. Doesn't mean they aren't valid and something to work on. Here's how I keep my fashion judgey in check:

1) i remind myself that not everyone cares about it or has to
2) i remind myslelf that not everyone knows what they could be doing differently
3) i remind myself again that even if they know, it doesn't mean they care. Or that they have to.
4) i remind myself that I am me. they are them and I have no control over them, I can barely control me.
5) i remind myself that we are not supposed to judge my upbringing tells me who had the right to judge and it's not me.
6) i remind myself that even if I did think I were justified to speak up that "DAMN girl I can see ur purple panties under your white pants"...guess what it would likely only lead to an argument, hurt feelings, or a douchey rep for me.
7) i remind myself that I have about a million other more important things to focus on than some strangers state of affairs.

Well said and thank you.

spidey11186

Yes

spidey11186

Don't go to Disney... the obesity down there is incredible

sbbhbm

It's also a matter of perspective. I remember when I was wearing a size 24- it didn't look big. And women who were a size 14 looked enviably thin to me. Now that I'm down to a size 2/4- my old size 8 jeans look gigantic when I hold them up. And size 14 definitely doesn't look as slim to me as it used to when I see a woman that size. When I was bigger, it looked smaller, now that I'm smaller, it looks bigger. Kind of like when I was a kid, 30 year olds looked so old to me, and now that I'm 34, they look young.

Hadabetter

I know exactly what you are talking about, and to a very real extent, if obesity didn't stir negative feelings in you, you probably wouldn't have been motivated to avoid it or correct it in yourself. Many of these people are nice, many are not, but they all have grown comfortable with something you do not want in your own life, so if you hang out with them you need to be careful that their comfort level doesn't rub off on you.

I also find that as I approach my goal weight the last few remaining pounds of my own fat disgust me more than the first pounds lost ever did. What's up with that? (Might be Psychology 201)

onwarddownward

I recently went to the water park. There was this enormous lady just STUFFED into a bathing suit! OMG, I wanted to call her out about it ...











... Then I realized I was looking into a full length plexiglass window! :sad: :sad: :sad:

cebiginalaska

According to the CDC, two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese.

weightedfootsteps

No this has never happened to me any of the times I've lost weight. I'm fashion judgey not fat judgey, I guess. I TOTALLY notice if someone is wearing something unflattering but I never think the fat is the problem. I just think some people fat or thin should be making different style choices. That's all.

I think these thoughts are weird but it's only because I don't have them. Doesn't mean they aren't valid and something to work on. Here's how I keep my fashion judgey in check:

1) i remind myself that not everyone cares about it or has to
2) i remind myslelf that not everyone knows what they could be doing differently
3) i remind myself again that even if they know, it doesn't mean they care. Or that they have to.
4) i remind myself that I am me. they are them and I have no control over them, I can barely control me.
5) i remind myself that we are not supposed to judge my upbringing tells me who had the right to judge and it's not me.
6) i remind myself that even if I did think I were justified to speak up that "DAMN girl I can see ur purple panties under your white pants"...guess what it would likely only lead to an argument, hurt feelings, or a douchey rep for me.
7) i remind myself that I have about a million other more important things to focus on than some strangers state of affairs.

Love this girl!!! And adding one more.
8) I remind myself that not many people can afford nice/well fitting clothing.

Ophidion

If you are only looking at the outside of the "package", then you might miss a wonderful person inside. I find that comparing one's self to others (Psych 101) most often breeds jealousy, a sense of superiority, criticism, or bitterness.

So, no. Not gonna go there. There are some really cool friends I have that have spare tires, eat poorly, etc. It does bother me, but not because I am anything better than they are or reached some goal, rather that they would choose to live in good health body and soul.

Never forget where you came from: keeps ya humble and compassionate. There is far more to a healthy lifestyle than simple weight loss. Not being combative, just offering an alternative view/see of the world.

No this has never happened to me any of the times I've lost weight. I'm fashion judgey not fat judgey, I guess. I TOTALLY notice if someone is wearing something unflattering but I never think the fat is the problem. I just think some people fat or thin should be making different style choices. That's all.

I think these thoughts are weird but it's only because I don't have them. Doesn't mean they aren't valid and something to work on. Here's how I keep my fashion judgey in check:

1) i remind myself that not everyone cares about it or has to
2) i remind myslelf that not everyone knows what they could be doing differently
3) i remind myself again that even if they know, it doesn't mean they care. Or that they have to.
4) i remind myself that I am me. they are them and I have no control over them, I can barely control me.
5) i remind myself that we are not supposed to judge my upbringing tells me who had the right to judge and it's not me.
6) i remind myself that even if I did think I were justified to speak up that "DAMN girl I can see ur purple panties under your white pants"...guess what it would likely only lead to an argument, hurt feelings, or a douchey rep for me.
7) i remind myself that I have about a million other more important things to focus on than some strangers state of affairs.

:drinker: :flowerforyou:

BinaryPulsar

I didn't perceive the Op to say that he was judging people. Just that his perceptions had changed. Which makes sense because in order to decide to lose weight, he probably shifted perceptions and as he lost weight his perceptions changed as well. Not just about others, but himself as well. This does not mean anything negative or judgement. Just an aspect of the process. Just something he is noticing about himself and talking about honestly with self-awareness. And if there was no awareness, he may have never chosen to lose the weight he lost.

When I notice people, I am usually noticing something positive about the variation in how beautiful people are.

I've always pretty much maintained my weight. What I have noticed is how other people's perceptions of me change when their weight changes. My weight can stay the same, but they could suddenly think I lost weight when they gained weight, and suddenly they start to wonder if I am at a healthy weight (the same weight I've always been for as long as they have known me, give or take 5 pounds, except for when I am pregnant).

Comparisons are not always bad either, for example: "Oh, see it's normal for women to have a little fat here, just like I do. That's normal, I won't be so hard on myself" or "Wow, see what's possible for people my age that have also had children" or "Wow, amazing what that person has done to lose all that weight and get fit". But, in general we relate better with people if we are not comparing. Some amount of curiosity about the human body and attempting to learn more about fashion for your shape is normal, though. Sometimes I am looking at people, and maybe they think I am scrutinizing their body, but I am actually noticing their clothing and thinking about maybe looking for something similiar because I like it. I don't like to shop. So, I "shop" by looking at what people are wearing and getting ideas for what to look for. I notice the type of clothing, the perceived comfort level, how it is for cold or warm weather, and how it would look on my shape. So, I notice what people that are close to my size/shape are wearing. Sometimes I want to ask them where they find their size (because then I know what stores to look in), and if we become friends I do ask that and share the ideas, info, options.

Skrib69

I didn't perceive the Op to say that he was judging people. Just that his perceptions had changed. Which makes sense because in order to decide to lose weight, he probably shifted perceptions and as he lost weight his perceptions changed as well. Not just about others, but himself as well. This does not mean anything negative or judgement. Just an aspect of the process. Just something he is noticing about himself and talking about honestly with self-awareness. And if there was no awareness, he may have never chosen to lose the weight he lost.

Thanks for highlighting this! My question is not about judging people - it is about perceptions! How you deal with those perceptions is your own affair!