Why do some people try to make me feel bad..

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13

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  • Athena53
    Athena53 Posts: 717 Member
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    They're trying to push your buttons, Honey, and they do it because they can see it works. If men left women because they got too muscular, female Olympic athletes would never get a guy. I don't see that happening.

    They're trying to make themselves feel better by making you feel bad. Don't let them get away with it. Strong is beautiful.
  • Hezzietiger1
    Hezzietiger1 Posts: 1,256 Member
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    Not everyone is going to understand your journey.. it's not theirs to understand.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,691 Member
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    Because in reality, no one wants you any happier than they are.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
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    Ya that sucks. I'm sooo sick of being told ill get bulky. I start getting snarky sometimes or I say my goal is to get big and manly and basically affirm everything they're saying I.e. I want my veins to pop, I want manly muscles, I want to look like x,y,z.. Or however they say things. It'll throw them off their game with you sayings that, they already believe it, why not make a game of their ignorant comments? Immature? Probably but it's better than being bitter.
  • bonniecarbs
    bonniecarbs Posts: 446 Member
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    what everybody said!! and what ninerbuff said especially
  • Athena53
    Athena53 Posts: 717 Member
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    I'm sooo sick of being told I'll get bulky. I start getting snarky sometimes or I say my goal is to get big and manly and basically affirm everything they're saying.

    Yeah, there are definitely worse things than being built like an Olympic gymnast! I wouldn't mind trading bodies with any of them.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
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    They sound jealous. Don't let them tear you down, you look fantastic!

    I agree. It is far easier to say to you "Oh, you are getting too muscled" and make you feel bad about your choices than it is to say to themselves "Oh, I'm getting too soft, jiggly and pudgey, maybe I should get off my fat *kitten* and work out like Abson. She looks freaking great!"
  • Absonthebrain
    Absonthebrain Posts: 587 Member
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    Your drunk "friends" don't want to see you sober

    Your fat "friends" do not want to see you thin

    Your thin "friends" do not want you to be fit - easier to feel superior if they're in better shape

    So much easier to drag someone down. This is human nature. Rise above it.

    Wow! Well said! When you put it that way it makes total sense. I am going to rise above this who cares what they think about it. It's my journey!!!
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
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    Because in reality, no one wants you any happier than they are.

    BINGO!
  • cl00bie
    cl00bie Posts: 25 Member
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    For ladies, think "buns of steel in a soft velveteen glove" :)
  • Absonthebrain
    Absonthebrain Posts: 587 Member
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    as long as you dont give them a defensive answer, they have nothing else to say.. besides just blowing them off with a "thank you" as I said above, you can make them feel stupid for what they say by repeating their stupid comment back to them.. without an answer, like this -

    Commenter - you're getting too many buns of steel that no man will luv you.

    You say - "So you're saying that I'm getting too many buns of steel and now no man will luv me." (as a statement).

    and then you look at them ...

    they will probably realize how stupid they sound.


    Nommymouse I am going to try that, for sure they will feel dumb for even saying something! Thanks!
  • Absonthebrain
    Absonthebrain Posts: 587 Member
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    Ya that sucks. I'm sooo sick of being told ill get bulky. I start getting snarky sometimes or I say my goal is to get big and manly and basically affirm everything they're saying I.e. I want my veins to pop, I want manly muscles, I want to look like x,y,z.. Or however they say things. It'll throw them off their game with you sayings that, they already believe it, why not make a game of their ignorant comments? Immature? Probably but it's better than being bitter.


    Hmm and you know what that might just work! I'll give it a try! :flowerforyou:
  • cadaverousbones
    cadaverousbones Posts: 421 Member
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    Well from your display picture you definitely look fit but you don't look like your muscles are too big like the chicks who take steroids and do competitions and crap like that. If you are healthy and not over working your body, who cares what they think.. They might be jealous of you? If it gets to the point where you are over working yourself and no longer healthy, then I would say you would need to slow down a bit.
  • shellyfatfree7
    shellyfatfree7 Posts: 5 Member
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    All you gotta do is say, "maybe, but my man will always want me because i'm confident." men love confidence, and girl you look FANTASTIC! don't let haters get you down.
  • yurika975
    yurika975 Posts: 71 Member
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    I think there is a difference between criticizing and genuine concern. Some people can push themselves too hard. You just have to ask yourself are you one of them? Are you working out well past the point of exhaustion? Eating 300 calories but working out for 8 hours straight? Trust your gut. It seems that some are uncomfortable with you making changes. Maybe they are worried that they might be pressured to workout too. As one of the other posters commented "DO YOU!"
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
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    Ya that sucks. I'm sooo sick of being told ill get bulky. I start getting snarky sometimes or I say my goal is to get big and manly and basically affirm everything they're saying I.e. I want my veins to pop, I want manly muscles, I want to look like x,y,z.. Or however they say things. It'll throw them off their game with you sayings that, they already believe it, why not make a game of their ignorant comments? Immature? Probably but it's better than being bitter.


    Hmm and you know what that might just work! I'll give it a try! :flowerforyou:

    It does. People give you a stunned look of 'wtf'. Besides if you say it with enough of a sarcastic tone they might realize how stupid it sounds. And just point to yourself to show how 'true' it is. I mean clearly you DO look like a man so obviously all that bulking is working. [sarcasm]
  • josephshotwell14
    josephshotwell14 Posts: 3
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    I've been dealing with the same thing asked if I'm starving myself, too many veins bulging, look like a cancer patient so on and so forth. Its insecure people trying to feel good, listen to people on here and stay strong you'll love the results.
  • Scubanana7
    Scubanana7 Posts: 361 Member
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    girl...what most of us would give to have that body! You are gorgeous. I wouldn't respond at all. Just smile and move away to talk to someone else.

    at the upcoming family reunion, I'd get something SEXY, FLATTERING, AND ULTR-FEMININE. I would certainly show off what a sexy female you are! Knock'em dead, sweetie.

    That's the fun thing about being older. I finally don't care! Get a little don't care attitude--but flaunt those your gorgeous curves. If someone says you are too bulky, then sweetly call out to your husband. "honey, do I look like a boy?"
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
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    I've had a couple of comments about my weight loss but nothing like this. I'm a pretty quiet person, also, but I tend to be straight forward when I do speak up. I'm pretty sure I'd say something like , " what makes you think it's okay to say that to me?" or "funny, he's stuck around so far. Let me know when yours leaves." Really, the comments that were made to you were ridiculous. Don't give up on what you're doing because of other people's insecurities.
  • Donald_Dozier_50
    Donald_Dozier_50 Posts: 395 Member
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    I've had a couple of comments about my weight loss but nothing like this. I'm a pretty quiet person, also, but I tend to be straight forward when I do speak up. I'm pretty sure I'd say something like , " what makes you think it's okay to say that to me?" or "funny, he's stuck around so far. Let me know when yours leaves." Really, the comments that were made to you were ridiculous. Don't give up on what you're doing because of other people's insecurities.


    You sound like you respond to people much like me. I generally ignore stupid comments but it certainly is not from being shy, it is generally just not worth my time replying but if pushed beyond the first foolish comment I respond in such a way to make the example of ignorance out of them.

    That being said, I do not speak to, respond to, answer toe telephone for ANY of my wife's family. I have absolutely nothing to say to them and that is a permanent situation, 7 years so far and no intention of changing that.

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