Needing some serious motivation!!!

makjaxryjud

Hi friends, I'm here to ask for some motivation, advice, help, support. My mental and physical health are suffering from my weight. I feel like I've "started over" trying to lose weight a million times. I do good for one day and then go back to my bad eating habits again. I'm 33 years old and feel much, much older because of my unhealthy body. I'm 5'5" and 234 lbs. I have four amazing kids and want to be a good example to them. I want to LIVE and be here for them. I want to see my kids have their own babies. I want to feel good and have energy. I want to actually like the way I look when I look in the mirror. I want this SO BAD yet I can't seem to stick with anything. I've "tried" counting calories, medifast, making a healthy meal plan, etc. I haven't stuck with anything. I'm in tears as I type this. I get so excited to lose weight, but only seem to be able to stick with anything for a couple of days. Any help is greatly appreciated. I'm feeling so defeated.

cmriverside

It sounds like you already have quite a bit of motivation.

Weight loss is like so many other things - it's work, and it takes consistent effort and you only get out of it what you put into it.

Start logging your food. Learn from your food diary. Log everything. No one can do this for you, but that's the good news.

estherdragonbat

I'm 2" shorter than you and my starting weight was 20 lbs heavier. However, the strain of carrying that extra weight around caused poor lower body circulation, in my case, refluxed veins in my legs. Because of this, cuts and scrapes now take forever to heal and get infected very easily. I contracted cellulitus 3 months ago and while that went away relatively quickly, on its heals, I contracted lymph edema, which left me with weeping wounds that needed daily dressing changes and homecare nursing visits. To say nothing of seven courses of antibiotics (One treated the cellulitus. That one was represcribed because it seemed to be helping the lymph edema too. When that didn't work, they cultured the wound and gave me a prescription for a different antibiotic in the meanwhile, hoping they'd luck out. They didn't and gave me a prescription for a third. That one didn't help either, but by then they finally got the lab results back and found out which antibiotic would actually work. And it took three courses.)

Now I'm in compression stockings. I also have higher-than-good blood pressure (but not quite high enough to require medication, yet).

My father and sister have both had bariatric surgery. In my dad's case, he also had Type II diabetes, which seems to have gone away since the surgery.

Both my GP and my vascular surgeon have told me that losing weight will go a long way toward managing my condition. Because really? I don't want the surgery, and I don't want to spend more months with weeping wounds and long-term antibiotic use, and I especially don't want to drop dead of a stroke or heart attack before my time.

So, that's what's motivating me right now. But here's the good news: I have lost 33 lbs since October 30th. My clothes fit better, I'm starting to get people noticing without my having to mention it. I'm still eating foods I love, just in healthier portions. And today, I bought a fitness tube and I'm starting strength training.

It sounds to me like you've had your wake-up call a lot sooner than I did. You've got this. You can do this. And if you want to friend me, go right ahead. My diary is open.

bluecrush84

Go back to counting calories or learn portion control. Calorie counting works and you won't feel deprived. You can have pizza...as long as it fits into your calorie count. Stick to it. Consistency is the key. I prefer calorie counting because I can eat whatever I want and lose weight. I started last year at 230lbs. I am down 67lbs. 23lbs more to go.

You have to find a way to be consistent.

Here are the rules:

Keep it simple. In the beginning don't over stress your self. Eat whatever you want, but count EVERY calorie and don't go over your budget. Over time you can start to add more healthy options. You can meal prep once a week or eat prepackaged meals to get you started. I ate lean cuisine and Marie Callender's the first 2 months and I lost weight consistently. I even had room for skittles or a snickers.

Watch out for hidden calories like oils...I use cook spray now. Measure your peanut butter. Use sugar free maple syrup for your pancakes, waffles or oatmeal. It is only 15 calories per 1/4 cup! Verses regular syrup which is 220 calories.

Log you food into mfp or thedailyplate

Drink water

De stress your life

Figure out what is causing you to over eat. I am a stress eater. I used daily yoga to help deal with my stress and it worked a lot. Figure out what works for you.

Gradually add in exercise, do what you DONT hate. Preferably something you enjoy. Walking is great to start, plus it helps to clear your mind and reduce stress.

Supplies that may help you:
Food scale: cheap on amazon
Measuring cups and spoons
$2 measuring tape, measure your waist, hips, thighs, arms, etc. sometimes weighing yourself does not reflect your progress.
Progress photos: take them once per month to monitor your progress

YouTube, tone of health gurus can give your healthy filling recipes and low calorie options that are tasty. For example cauliflower rice or halo top icecream

Keep your diet simple to start, then over time, you may not need to calorie count...but you still will have to portion control.

I hope this helps.

GemstoneofHeart

It's really hard to start. But it's easier to keep going if you surround yourself with people who are here to support you (whether in person or online). Almost every night, I come to these forums just to poke around and keep myself on track and motivated by like minded people. Choose to do it today, before bad health takes over and you no longer have a choice. Look at the success stories on here and imagine having your own before and after photos to share.

DreamFeatherLC

Make sure there is no undiagnosed health issue (thyroid/PCOS/etc) preventing weight loss.
Take baby steps.
I tend to jump in with both feet and then burn out. I have more luck with small changes.
Commit to one lifestyle change (like going for a walk every day No Excuses...even if you just go to the end of the block) work that up to 1 mile per day etc but do it in a consistent manner.
Work on one eating change (a salad with every meal or drinking water more ) and stick with it and then build on it.
It takes about a month to build a habit.
Track inches not just lbs.
Print out your motivation and post it (and use positive words...ie: I'm making healthier choices because I love myself and want to feel my best. )

Come here for support...we ALL need a hand up or a pat on the back sometimes.

serindipte

My diary is open. It's a bold view of how you can truly eat the yummy things without depriving yourself. I am 5'4", my SW was 229lbs. I lost 50lbs when I used MFP before.. then stopped logging and regained back up to 214lbs. I'm back down to 199 as of this morning and started Jan 9th of this year. I don't do any real exercising. I just make sure to get up and move around more.

It's easier to stick with it when you start seeing results and you WILL see results if you do this. I use a food scale to make sure I'm accurate in my logging, but I eat what I want. Just not as much as I used to.

BTW, Ignore my "breakfast" entry. lol.. I don't always eat breakfast, but don't like leaving an empty meal, so I log a zero calorie item I found a few years ago that made me laugh.

ETA: I don't get into the "drink 8 glasses of water". I live on Diet Dr Pepper and it hasn't hindered my weight loss at all.

1991lexi

216 lb starting weight and 5'8"

my main motivation came from logging what I ate...

so I have known for a very long time that I need to change my eating for health reasons (PCOS and migraine to main the two main issues) - a friend had just lost a lot of weight using a calorie counting method...so I figured I'd give it a go

after 3 days of logging everything I ate, I was shocked at just how bad I have been...and decided I wanted to stick within what the app told me to...and found it really difficult for a few days


for me it was logging everything which told me where I was going wrong (so much food!), and my motivations/biggest downfalls with what I was eating.

I am still eating a lot of what I like, but my rule of logging everything makes me double think having a snack as I then have to go away from my desk to log it in my phone...and I decide it isn't worth it.

Reaverie

It's better to try again even if it's day after day than to give up all together. I'm 5'1 and started at 303. Gained to 306 the first 3 weeks of counting calories (and having many woops days) and walking a mile to two 4-5 times a week on average to finally losing to 301 the 4th week getting my calories under control and walking 2-3 miles. Then super bowl Sunday ate 3000 calories (Do NOT trust food lion salads!!!) and the next day getting a surprise visit from aunt flow and gaining to 306 overnight! I am tapering down today and weighed in at 298! I'm psyched.

Protein helped me. Try having protein all day long and see if you feel full longer. I tried the traditional eating more fresh veggies and salads but it didn't work for me. I felt Unsatisfied and starving and would go crazy at dinner. Protein for every meal and snack has reduced my calories by 400-600 a day.

. Aim for lean meats and only make what you need and get rid of all junk! Kids are more important than you are so if you are worried about your health, why would you not be even more concerned with theirs? (My apologies if you aren't one of those parents who try to use their kids as an excuse for junk foods.. most seem to).

makjaxryjud

Thank you SO much everyone!! You've given me a lot to think about. This morning, I started my day off with a workout (5 miles) and am having my protein with greens shake for breakfast.

ZephieC

When you are struggling and feeling down, pop over to the success boards. There are tons of inspiring people and pictures that have lost a variety of weight. It is such a motivator seeing that other "real" people were able to succeed, it reminds me that I can too.

hcdebbie

Makjaxryjud, you are not alone. I have a TERRIBLE time getting started on a diet. Once I get through the first 2 weeks, it gets much easier, but I've spent as long as a year trying over and over again and feeling really bad about my weight and even worse about my willpower. I just get too exhausted and hungry. Then at some point, I don't know how, but I survive 2 or three days in a row, and the momentum starts. I can attest to the following -- when I'm getting started losing weight, an enthusiastic trip to the gym results in failure within 24 hours for me. Actually, I'm not able to lose weight and lift weights at the same time even though I love to exercise because the crazy hunger kicks in about 8 hours later. Anyone else notice this? On the other hand, walking around, staying busy, not sitting too long, helps keep my hunger in check. Keep at it, you sound very determined!

JeromeBarry1

Instead of trying to "do good" at losing weight, and it's to be commended that you didn't call it a diet, try instead to do good at recording the food you eat. Use the food diary feature of this site to do that. Just accurately record the weight of the food you eat. You'll need a digital kitchen scale for that.

The magic of weight loss happens in your head when you do that.

lorrpb

^^This is true! Best advice ever.

victoria34vma

Think about it as your wellness journey. Its not a diet its a journey and during that journey think of all the great changes you have to make and will make to become healthy to become a person who is in peace with yourself with love and compassion so when you have a bad day you can have compassion for yourself and move on. Dont blame dont shame yourself instead think of how amazing this journey is and how much better you are because of the changes you are making to become the person you really wish to be. This is not just about physical beauty but how you feel inside.
The things you battle inside your mind are way more important than the outside appearance and you cant change the outside without changing the inside. This has been the best 6 months of my life and i have been normal way before i gained weight. I never had loved myself this much before and every day i am amazed at how much more every day i discover i love myself. I treat myself with organic foods when i can, i eat mostly plant based whole foods, i even take time to massage my feet with carrot oil after a long busy day, the little things add up. Love yourself, have compassion when things are not 100% and keep a daily fitness and food diary.

fiddletime

Once you get your portion size/calories set to lose a pound a week just remember that to maintain what you've lost, is an ongoing process. This journey really doesn't ever end, and you don't get to go back to eating whatever you want, or your friends are eating, or whatever. Or the weight will just fly back on.

So, relax. You'll lose weight if you follow the process. If you slip you'll affect it for a few days or a week, but you can quickly get back on point if you move past your slip day or two. "Quickly" might mean a week or two or three. This isn't a sprint. It's a walking marathon with basically no end and requires a determination to "just do it". Day in and day out until it becomes a habit.

I'm still struggling with accepting that, and am back for my third time to lose regained weight. I spend a lot of time on the maintenance boards to understand what it takes to maintain as well. You might benefit by reading those boards and hear from people who've maintained for over 5 years. It's very inspiring, and helps you to be able to better grasp the scope of your totally attainable goals!