No more exercise...

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Replies

  • mhoward685
    mhoward685 Posts: 129 Member
    Weight loss is 80% food choices and 20% exercise. If I make good food choices then I don't have to make bad exercise choices.
  • miratps
    miratps Posts: 141 Member
    Do they know you are tracking calories?

    I'm concerned that you are whilst you are in the grip of an eating disorder.

    The doc's do, including the therapist. He understood I can't stop/do too many things at the same time right now so is worried. But we agreed that hospitalisation/inpatient is a last resort of course but we both fear it's closer than we thought as I can't seem to help myself/do nothing.
  • miratps
    miratps Posts: 141 Member
    Duchy82 wrote: »
    First well done you for recognising you have a problem and getting help, you are doing great at sorting this out so you can lead are normal life.

    I think you have got some good advice, meditation should help with the anxiety around exercise, even if you lose focus just keep at it practice makes perfect.

    Finding other things to do to distract yourself from food will help too, a hobby or something similar. Again keep at it, I used to tell myself I can have a biscuit if I first do xyz by the time I'd finished that the craving was usually gone but it took a while before I got there.

    You won't be perfect at any of this straight away, you know, that's ok, keep working at it, eventually things will get easier, not going to the gym for a week is good progress, maybe now working on walking less will be a little easier, baby steps so to speak.

    Try to start thinking of food as fuel not a reward (this is what comes across for me: if I exercise loads, I can eat) and if you do feel hungry have a (hot) drink first and see if that helps.

    Thanks for some of the tips. The only problem I have with finding a distraction/hobby again (playing games or watching TV or something) I feel unjustified doing it by just sitting there having done nothing. It's a dumb mentality but hard to break
  • susannekb
    susannekb Posts: 31 Member
    I know that mentality - I shouldn't be sitting here doing nothing I must be doing something. Mine is tied into anxiety and can be hard to overcome. I echo what the others have said about using mindfulness but what helps me the most is adult colouring books. They keep the hands and the mind busy and when you are finished you have the feeling of accomplishment which helps me offset the sitting down doing nothing feeling. Keeping on trying it didn't take you a week or a month to reach your current disordered eating, baby steps and keep trying.
  • fionamct1973
    fionamct1973 Posts: 1 Member
    Your doctor is concerned that you are losing weight, yet you are still tracking calories and exercise? Seek the appropriate medical help for your eating disorders.
  • RuNaRoUnDaFiEld
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld Posts: 5,864 Member
    miratps wrote: »
    Do they know you are tracking calories?

    I'm concerned that you are whilst you are in the grip of an eating disorder.

    The doc's do, including the therapist. He understood I can't stop/do too many things at the same time right now so is worried. But we agreed that hospitalisation/inpatient is a last resort of course but we both fear it's closer than we thought as I can't seem to help myself/do nothing.

    I'd be surprised if they did inpatient whilst you have a healthy BMI. You seem to maintaining well.

    I just think being on this site can make even the strongest people obsess over calories. I'm worried it will make it harder for you.
  • Tacklewasher
    Tacklewasher Posts: 7,122 Member
    miratps wrote: »
    Thank you all for the support, it is very much appreciated and some of these tips have been noted! Yeah they are trying to help etc. but it is so so hard for me and I just do not understand why.
    I find that it is easier to exercise willpower at the grocery store than what it is to exercise willpower at home.

    It is technically (although for me I'm weak everywhere). For me the big issue is moderation - I just want to keep eating no matter what but felt I could justify it but now I can't. My appetite I don't think has decreased despite no exercise which is worrying me
    You're in a tough spot. My daughter suffered from exercise compulsion with her ED also. I used to sit with her after she ate to help with the compulsions. I also had her sleep in my room with me sometimes because she would get up in the middle of the night to exercise.

    Do you have a friend or significant other who might be able to help you in a similar way. Sometimes knowing someone is there helps you stay distracted.

    I've asked my loved ones to essentially do the same where possible and sometimes I've still found ways around it but I genuinely do feel I need my parents/someone to do exactly what you did and basically monitor me constantly otherwise I feel I will slip very quickly. How is your daughter now? And I think it's fantastic you were there and so supportive for her.

    Can you get a fitness tracker and give your parents access? Maybe one without a display and you don't get to see what the results are, but they do?

    I'm not sure if this advice is helpful, but the thought crossed my mind. @fitoverfortymom do you think this would have worked with your daughter?
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    miratps wrote: »
    Duchy82 wrote: »
    First well done you for recognising you have a problem and getting help, you are doing great at sorting this out so you can lead are normal life.

    I think you have got some good advice, meditation should help with the anxiety around exercise, even if you lose focus just keep at it practice makes perfect.

    Finding other things to do to distract yourself from food will help too, a hobby or something similar. Again keep at it, I used to tell myself I can have a biscuit if I first do xyz by the time I'd finished that the craving was usually gone but it took a while before I got there.

    You won't be perfect at any of this straight away, you know, that's ok, keep working at it, eventually things will get easier, not going to the gym for a week is good progress, maybe now working on walking less will be a little easier, baby steps so to speak.

    Try to start thinking of food as fuel not a reward (this is what comes across for me: if I exercise loads, I can eat) and if you do feel hungry have a (hot) drink first and see if that helps.

    Thanks for some of the tips. The only problem I have with finding a distraction/hobby again (playing games or watching TV or something) I feel unjustified doing it by just sitting there having done nothing. It's a dumb mentality but hard to break

    I can relate to this.. But not to your extreme, I'm not losing weight at a fast pace and i still eat normally.

    But yesterday i had a planned rest day, i was going to sit down on the couch and watch all of the shows i recorded over the last few weeks. It didn't happen as planned, i ended up walking 9kms, which is less than usual, but not what i would call a rest day! The whole time this was in the back of mind " I'm sitting here doing nothing, what a waste" and then i started watching the clock seeing the time dwindle down and having less and less time to go for my walk, so off i went!

    My situation is kinda different to yours though. I have mfp set to my maintenance calories and use exercise to create a deficit, so it makes me a bit twitchy when i don't get that deficit in by the end of the day.
  • courtneyfabulous
    courtneyfabulous Posts: 1,863 Member
    Your body burns most of your calories just by existing and regular daily activity. Less or no exercise just means you burn a couple hundred less calories than with it. You will still lose weight just eating within your calorie goal and not exercising.
  • courtneyfabulous
    courtneyfabulous Posts: 1,863 Member
    I was sick recently and didn't exercise at all for 2 weeks straight when normally I hit the gym to do weights 3 days a week and do cardio, HIIT, walking or hiking the other days. I still lost weight during the 2 weeks of not exercising.
  • miratps
    miratps Posts: 141 Member
    So quick update.

    It didn't really work, I couldn't control myself and the best I can do is walk a lot instead. There has been progress but it has been slow, too slow for me and the doctor and it's causing more depression. We have decided I should probably be an inpatient, the sooner the better obviously. I just wanted to thank everyone who responded for their kindness and hopefully I come out the other side "normal"
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    miratps wrote: »
    So quick update.

    It didn't really work, I couldn't control myself and the best I can do is walk a lot instead. There has been progress but it has been slow, too slow for me and the doctor and it's causing more depression. We have decided I should probably be an inpatient, the sooner the better obviously. I just wanted to thank everyone who responded for their kindness and hopefully I come out the other side "normal"

    I wish you all the best. Thank you for the update.
  • miratps
    miratps Posts: 141 Member
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    miratps wrote: »
    So quick update.

    It didn't really work, I couldn't control myself and the best I can do is walk a lot instead. There has been progress but it has been slow, too slow for me and the doctor and it's causing more depression. We have decided I should probably be an inpatient, the sooner the better obviously. I just wanted to thank everyone who responded for their kindness and hopefully I come out the other side "normal"

    I wish you all the best. Thank you for the update.

    Thank you, let's hope it's all worth it in the end - all I know is I can't live like this anymore
  • Slowfaster
    Slowfaster Posts: 186 Member
    Psychgrrl wrote: »
    I have so many thoughts ... I'll try to get them down.

    First, I'm really sorry you're going through this and while you've said you can't help yourself, I think you are. You're seeing a doctor, you're incorporating their feedback into what you're doing--even if you haven't been able to fully activate it yet. You're here. And while we're not a treatment team we can offer support and (((((hugs))))).

    It seems like exercise was your purging method and there are a myriad of issues around food/exercise with which you're dealing: bingeing, restriction, purging, paranoia. I really wish things were easier for you, but they are what they are right now.

    It's a journey, not a red-eye to a quick destination. Just like your doctor wants you to be kinder to your body with the no exercise prescription, you need to be kinder to your soul. Patience and grace--the same support you would offer anyone else when they are struggling, you should try and extend that to yourself. Asking yourself why you don't do that is an important question to explore. Changing how you treat yourself and see yourself will eventually help you establish healthy patterns.

    At 5'6 and 125 you've got plenty of room in that healthy range. What scares you about gaining a few pounds? Especially when you'll still be at a healthy weight. What's the worst that can happen? Really. What is the absolute worst thing about gaining 10 pounds? You don't have to answer, just asking some rhetorical questions.

    When I do that and write down the answers, I realize how ridiculous I'm being. I go from worrying about a presentation to living in a cardboard box by the freeway in a few simple steps. And that's just not gonna happen. But our minds work in crazy ways. Everyone's. You're not alone in having these fears. The difference right now might be those coping mechanisms.

    Mediation or restorative yoga (be honest--no slipping into a power yoga class) might be really helpful. If you're looking for restorative yoga, you might want to look at classes offered through a local rape crisis center. More and more, classes are being offered to survivors to help them heal from trauma. And you do have trauma, in my opinion.

    If you do group stuff, be aware of triggers. Books clubs, volunteer groups, etc. can often have food as a component. Prepare your mind in advance for what you want to do. Role play responses with your doc or friends/family until you're comfortable. You could also do an online book club/tv or movie discussion group. Or my goodness, video games. They literally are a while interactive world. I play "quiz up" it's one to one trivia and you pick the subject. I rule with "How I met your mother" trivia. And there's chat.

    In-patient treatment might be the best thing for you as the constant structure and support may help you reframe some of your responses. I can imagine how scary that sounds right now, but in reflecting on that versus staying where you are now, it sounds like it might be the most helpful thing for you.

    Not gonna lie, you have a long road ahead, but it's one you're not on alone. Recognizing for yourself that you need some help in dealing with these issues is so very huge--please give yourself the credit that deserves! Don't give up on yourself--picture where you can be in five years, healthy and happy. Because you can be there. Some folks here have that journey ahead of them to lose weight and gain their health. The important thing is to not give up. No one moves forward every single day. But all the backwards, zig-zag and circles all have their place. Even if we can't see it at the time. I truly believe we end up where we need to be from the efforts we put in.

    One short anecdote. I was job searching several years ago. I had job offered. Then it was pulled due to lack of funding. Same thing happened with another job. Then a third was pulled because the new president decided not to fill it. Each time I was devastated. I questioned my worth, my professional success. But I ended up where I am now. I have an amazing job in Southern California. The beach is a few miles away, as is Disneyland. I am able to make a difference in the lives of my students. And those other jobs? Turns out, if I had taken any one of them, I would have been smack in the middle of a national tragedy/scandal.

    Things really do work out. You just have to have faith, especially in yourself. :heart:

    Bumping this up because I think this post is so helpful, for all of us.