Addicted to the most unhealthy foods

v_wich86 · July 2013

I was doing great about 3 years ago, I was 150-160 down from 180 the year before. I was eating decent portions and I only ate sweets maybe once every couple of weeks and they were small amounts, I was also exercising regularly. Then I got a horrible new job that paid great. It was stressful and awful. I worked from 3pm - 11pm and when my day was over I would tell myself I earned some jack in the box. Then I would go home and eat it in bed while watching the Kardashians... Of course I gained a few pounds. Then I had a conflict with one of the people I supervised at work, this person started calling me names. She actually gave me the nickname muffin top. In elementary school I was picked on because of my weight so this cut deep. I let myself go hard after that. I ate because it made me feel warm and full. Every time I tried to get back on track since then I failed. This morning I woke up an had a bowel of potato chips and a glass of soda for breakfast. I lie about what I eat in my food diary, and that's when I even bother to fill it out. When I eat crap I tell myself it's ok because it will be my last unhealthy meal. But then I have a "last unhealthy meal" every other time I eat. I'm now 200 pounds and feel disgusted with myself. Almost none of my clothe fit anymore, and every time I buy the next size up I just get bigger. This is me being honest with myself. I need help. I want to get better. Is there such thing as food anonymous groups?? Or sponsors for food addicts?

Magdaloonie · July 2013

Oh, that's heartbreaking. I have always had an unhealthy relationship with food and I know how hard that can be to control. I have no answers for you but be encouraged that you are self-aware. You can't do anything without that. I think you should set your diary to be only viewable by you for a while and log everything. Makes notes to yourself about what you were feeling when you said yes and when you said no to those temptations. Then you might want to find a counselor, rather than a diet group. Food addictions don't have anything to do with nutrition and everything to do with our emotions.
If you would like, you can add me as a friend, now or later.

forbiddendonut · July 2013

I still struggle with this, too, even though I eat well about 80% of the time now. What I find that helps me is kind of quitting the bad food cold turkey. The sugary, fatty, processed foods are addicting, and I don't crave them as much when I am eating strictly fruits/veggies/lean protein/whole grains. Not only do I have fewer cravings, but I don't feel as tired or depressed (which leads to bad snacking for me). It's all a vicious cycle that I am constantly fighting to pull myself out of. It's not easy, that's for sure!

pbrahan · July 2013

OH MY GOSH I feel like I'm reading my OWN story! I laughed about the "last unhealthy meal" part because I used to eat my "last bad food" every day - not every other day. I was eating like I was going to be hung tomorrow and it went on for about a year, putting me at my highest weight ever.
My one question to you would not be about food. It would be "What area - besides food - do you not feel you're in control of?" This is what you need to be focusing on. My guess is you're eating what you want when you want because you feel like it's the one thing only you have control of. Sort of like "acting out" - a rebellion of sorts. It provides instant gratification and a sense of control while later it just makes you feel depressed and out of control.
For me, it was a few things - for you it could be your lack of personal time, your finances, your relationships, your spiritual path, etc. I could bet you that once you work on the areas where you feel out of control (as in "I"m stuck in this/I wish this were different etc.), the food and fitness will follow.
Intellectually, you understand you're only hurting yourself and making your situation worse. I realized that, and continued on in my destructive ways until I got the other areas of my life straight. It requires honesty with yourself and with others. I'm certain if you look hard into what areas you're holding back in - what areas you're not being totally honest about - and what areas you're feeling controlled by others in, you'll find the key to your weight loss.
Just like in a marriage, it's not about the toothpaste cap, in food, sometimes it's not about the food.
Paula

v_wich86 · July 2013

Thank you for all your feedback. I do feel better just admitting how bad I've let myself get, and it's nice to know that other people have felt similar but still overcame this problem. I will try all the suggestions. I think I'm ready to make serious changes.

Idreamoflean · July 2013

I wish you all the best with this. We've all had times (days, moths or years) when we say to ourselves "I'll start tomorrow" and it never comes. You sound like you are ready to commit to this and everyone reading this will be willing you to suceed.

forbiddendonut · July 2013

It is a constant struggle, and will be for our entire lives. Unhealthy, high cal, addictive food is readily available, cheap, and tastes really good. There will be times in all of our lives when we mess up. It's impossible to eat perfectly 100% of the time, even for the strictest of people. You just have to try not to beat yourself up over it, and start over for your very next meal (not the next day or the next week). I also think that logging everything, good or bad, will help keep you in check. If you just tell yourself that after this *last* meal, you will start eating better and logging, you will eat a lot more than if you say that you are really craving whatever food it is, and you are going to eat some of it, but that you are also going to log it in your diary and take accountability for it. And make your diary private so that you don't have to be embarassed about your slip-ups. I also make it a habit of not having "off-limits" foods so that I don't go crazy. Like last week, I was craving cherry pop tarts, so I got a small pack at the store, and ate one tart on Saturday for dessert. A 200 calorie dessert every now and then is not the end of the world. Overall, we should be striving for healthy foods that will fuel our bodies.