I am so embarrassed.....

Firefly0606

No more dieting!! It doesn't work. You have to make SUSTAINABLE changes.
How many calories does it take to maintain your current weight of 322? If you figure that out first, then you can make a sensibile reduction in the amount of calories you eat to lose weight.

If you figure out that you need 3000 calories a day to maintain your weight, then you can reduce your intake by 20%, to 2400. You're on track for slower, but sustainable weight loss this way. If you just blindly take the figure that any of the online calculators recommend, you might find yourself on 1800 calories per day. And sure, you'll lose weight fast, but it is really hard to maintain that because it simply isn't enough.

Decide this is for life, not just this time around. Slow and steady wins the race.

youdoyou2016

Maybe you can let yourself feel embarrassed for a bit. Rather than ignore it or then be embarrassed that you're embarrassed, just feel it. Maybe even cry about it all.

I think NOT feeling those things is a mistake. (I'm just saying this from my own experience.) Look, it get it -- it sucks, it's frustrating, it seems like it will take forever. When I wanted to lose weight, I wanted the end result right there and then. I really hated the whole thing (and myself). It didn't take long, though, for me to get some momentum going in the direction I wanted it to go. Then it just became the way I lived. I know people say this all the time, but -- really! -- if I can do you it, anyone can. Really, you can. And, I know, how it is currently can seem pretty terrible. That's OK, too. However you are is OK.

JeanieWww

Sent you a friend request. Embarrassment and shame often go hand in hand. Now use that to sit down and make a a deliberate choice. Are you going to undo it, or are you going to wallow in your embarrassment and allow it to control you? Don't let your body dictate who you are or what you can do. With diligence and patience, you CAN lose it and get healthy again.

amandaeve

Your weight gain appears to be just a symptom of how you treat and feel about yourself. I recommend Googling self-compassion for some self-help ideas. Kristin Neff is sort of the primary researcher in this psychology, but there are others. You won't succeed by focusing on eating behavior alone. Speaking for myself, it's easier to love food than it is to love myself. Best of luck to you!

Laurie6578

I started at 273 and remember those hot feelings of shame at having to acknowledge that number. Use it as a catalyst to make the changes that you need to make. Love yourself enough. You deserve to be healthy. ...this site is full of success stories about people who have travelled the same roads as you and I - and reached their goals. I still have a long way to go too but I've lost 61 pounds and I will not let myself go back. I know it seems overwhelming to think about how much weight you have to lose at the beginning. You are not alone in that, you can do this!!

MariluzGmo

One of my dietitians always started by making her patients write everything they usually eat during the week (chips, candy, veggies, everything). Then she went ahead and made the diet maintaining everything on the diet but one or two unhealthy foods. That every 15 days, until slowly the patient had only one cheat day. It's a VERY SLOW way to lose weight, but safer and less stressful. Also the first week, instead of using a deficit diet, she'd do a mantainance diet to smooth in into the diet.
That's how I started, and that's when I really felt I could live with a "diet".

Manikva

You can do it, but focus on one pound at a time, do not think 50 or 100, it is scary.... I have been eating about 1,000 calories a day in the last few days and am surprised that it feels enough. The bottom line for me has been to get plenty of protein with each meal (25-30g) - a protein smoothie (homemade), chicken, fish or eggs. I have added more veggies as well - roasted eggplant and zucchini, broccoli, Brussels sprouts. I still have my cappuccino (or two) with 1% milk and erythritol instead of sugar - it is an excellent sweetener, no calories and no sugar grams, but tastes and looks just like sugar. Instead of a desert, I have Chobani yogurt with erythritol and a tablespoon of low-sugar jam, or just fresh fruit. Limit fruit to 3-4 pieces a day, increase veggies and make sure you get regularly protein and you will feel the difference. Exercise for me has been critical too, even if I just walk fast for an hour. But some small weights circuit training should be included. Good luck and keep in touch!

thunderthighsandlightning

I know how you feel. I lost 70 lbs two years ago, and through careless eating, I gained around 50 of that back. When I stepped on the scale and saw I'd gone from 220 to 260+, I felt horrible and I wanted to just give up. I thought, what's the point? But I know it's worth it to get healthy. Find something to motivate you and stick up reminders around your room/house to exercise, eat well and never give up--it's what encourages me on the days that I just want to cry into a bowl of mac and cheese about how fat I am (even though I still do that sometimes). You can do this! I believe in you!

Lioness_1978

Alot of good advice here. You can do it. I know what it feels like. It's a mental change that needs to happen slowly over time. No time frames, being realistic. Learning to praise yourself for every little feet. I was at 327 lbs 3 yrs ago January. I am down 129 lbs with 27 lbs to go. I've slowly changed the way I think and made good healthy changes and realistic. I still enjoy moments in life and eat and drink things I wouldnt usually on occasion. That's real life. Feel free to message me anytime. You got this!

jomary01

Stop beating yourself up. Just take things day by day.

lillyloki28

You can do this and you're not alone.............BELIEVE ME! You can do this and you need to be patient with yourself. I completely know how you feel and feel for you. I have to keep in mind when I get upset with myself that I didn't put the weight on in a week or a month so it's not going to come off as fast. But, being a person who was at one time at 335 lbs and have been fighting the past 13 years with weight creeping back up on me I know I have to keep it maintained. With me I'm in my 50's and they say the older you get the harder it is to take it off; but I need to keep positive and so do you. I'm here for you if you want to talk. Always here for support; the more the better!

joeneely71

Others on here are no doubt better than I at the specifics of weight loss, but I'm pretty damn good at guilt and shame. Both of them kill. While you establish a long-term weight loss plan, do something each day that lifts your spirits; perhaps, for example, a 30-minute walk. Talk with your doctor about counseling. Depression, which is often undiagnosed and therefore untreated, drives guilt and shame. Relief is available in the form of talk therapy and, if your doctor agrees, antidepressant medicines. Best wishes!

VeryKatie

Maybe start by figuring out why logging your food and exercising didn't work for you. The concept might remain the same but maybe it was a combination of other factors as well. Don't be embarrassed, all of us have lost and gained through the years. It often takes a few tries until we find what works well with our lives and our brains.

1) Did you continue to eat foods you liked (just less of it) or did you pick a special diet instead (paleo, low carb, low fat, etc), or did you restrict your treats and meals out?

2) Did you enjoy the exercise you were doing? If not, is there a mobile activity you like that you could do that doesn't feel like exercise (walking, swimming, bowling, frisbee, dancing around your living room, etc.)?

3) Were you struggling with using the MFP app at all? Do you need tips on how to make it work better/easier for you?

4) Did you have MFP friends when you did it last who could provide some support to you? Do you have support in your life for weight loss?

5) Did you start making a lot of changes at once or did you slowly build them up?

6) How did you feel about the calorie counting? Did you find it stressful or annoying? Did you find it hard to stick inside your goal?

hookandy

Reading your post I think you are in the same boat as I am. I was 294 lost about 80lb, took my eye off the ball and put about 60 back on. So this time I am really focusing on the maintenance, I can lose weight, I know how to do that. I just dont know how to keep it off. BUT here is the best bit, I have a year to figure it out! I am not going to "diet" and then go back to "normal" eating. I am going to change my "normal" eating to my "new normal". There is lots of good information and posts from people that are far better than I am at the losing part of this journey.

So my plan is to use MFP to get down to 200, then I am going to pause and maintain for 3 months. Then either carry on as is or lose a bit more.

socajam

Thanks everyone for all the good suggestions.

Three years ago I lost 24lbs, never felt better, got lazy and now I am back to where I first started. Older and suffering back pains etc.

I have decided this has to be my year to return to my slimmer self. I have started walking now that the weather is getting warmer. I also do calorie cycling which I have found to be a lot easier, especially on the weekends where temptation is so much easier. Mondays/Wednesdays/Fridays I eat at 1100 calories, the other four days my calorie varies and I have found it to be very satisfying.

On the low calorie days, I tend to eat later in the day which I found is very helpful. I am getting in my 10,00+ steps and hopefully will start C25K in the Spring.

I need to reclaim that spring in my steps when I was 24 lbs lighter and I was much happier.

Nicklebee93

Im sure this has been said before but i'll say it anyways. You must be doing crash diets. You must want an easy fix. And you must want to feel sorry for yourself.

1. There is NO easy fix. If dieting was easy we'd all be skinny. Its trial and error. It could be yo yo, gaining and losing. But guess what? That doesn't mean you give up and just feel sorry for yourself.
2. This isn't a "i'll lose weight and magically stay this way". NO. You gotta make changes and stick with them.

My suggestions:
1. Don't take out anything you don't plan to keep out. Chips, cookies, soda. Learn moderation and keep them in your diet.
2. Don't go too fast. Take off 500 cals and keep going from there.
3. Exercise!!! Walk for 10 minutes, then 20 and then 30. Start doing cardio, swim, bike. Do at home work out DVD's. You do not need a gym membership to workout!
4. STOP feeling sorry for yourself. You put yourself in this position and if you really hate what you've done then fix it! Cause guess what? You'll only change when YOU want to.