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How to you tell someone they need to lose weight?

cathipa
cathipa Posts: 2,991 Member
I work in the medical field and at least 50% of my patients are overweight if not obese. It is a crisis in the US and most of the Westernized countries. We counsel them on smoking and alcohol, but what about weight? What is your reaction to someone or a medical practitioner telling you to lose weight? Most of the responses I get are eye rolls (and I'm very delicate about how I address it), but what would cause someone to wake up and understand that its more than just aesthetics and more about health in general. The majority of the ailments I see can be directly correlated with being overweight or obese. Any thoughts? Any one who has had this happen and actually take the advice and be a success story? TIA
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Replies

  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    edited February 2017
    I'm interested to see what people say. My only experience was kind of useless. I went to the doctor and she weighed me and said my weight was "ok". Except I knew it was a couple lbs over the normal BMI, so I just decided enough was enough and lost some weight after that. I'm not sure why she didn't say something like "Maybe it's a good idea to start watching your weight a bit" or something. Except I guess I was wearing clothes and everything too so maybe she didn't need to.

    Of course the next time she weighed me, she looked at the number excitedly and said it was "perfect" lol. So I think she may have tried to go the subtle route. But that was WAY too subtle.

    So... yeah... a kind of useless story.
  • xsmilexforxmex
    xsmilexforxmex Posts: 1,216 Member
    edited February 2017
    Paramedic here - our providers are always pretty direct about it. Sometimes it's if you keep gaining, this might get worse.. or if you don't lose, this will kill you. I don't think they bring it up unless there's a significant gain or health problem though. I think it's a great idea to bring it with the high-risk topics (eg. smoking, drinking, ect) - something like "I noticed your BMI is XX, that puts you in/close to the overweight/obese category. Studies show increased weight can lead to cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and other problem. Would you like some information on losing weight?" A lot of people don't want to hear it, some won't listen at all or deny help, but there are a few who will take it to heart and do something about it.

    ETA - On a side note, if they don't want it, don't push it. They've probably heard it before and they aren't ready to accept it.
  • VintageFeline
    VintageFeline Posts: 6,771 Member
    GP just told me I was borderline for being taken off the pill (which I take to control acne, do not want to come off!) and was at high risk of further health complications due to my weight. She's a great GP and just said it matter of factly. I wasn't offended, just hearing another person say what I already knew flipped the switched.

    I think I started reducing my intake immediately after that, it was a big catalyst because I was damned if my physical health was going to go the way of my mental health! A few months later I got really serious and started tracking here and exercising.
  • cfritchley26
    cfritchley26 Posts: 47 Member
    During my last yearly exam my OB/GYN told me that I needed to lose weight. This didn't surprise me since I already knew that I really did need to focus on my health. I was not offended, upset, or anything...it was something I had already addressed within myself, so hearing it from a medical professional (especially one I trust as much as her) was just the icing on the cake...not that I can have cake right now haha.

    Bottom line, when I heard it I was ready to lose weight...it was already something that I felt myself and that I wanted to conquer. There are plenty of people who hear it before they find it on their own, and I think for them it is someone calling them fat vs. what it really is - someone in the medical field voicing their concern about their patient's health. All you can do is make them aware of it, of what could happen, and do your job in looking out for their best interest.
  • snikkins
    snikkins Posts: 1,282 Member
    Both times that I've lost weight, I did it myself; no one told me I was overweight, including my GP. I think it was because she'd known me for so long, though, that she felt uncomfortable pointing out my weight gain. I don't know if it would have made a difference or not because I knew I was overweight.

    That being said, I did roll my eyes at the MA who tried to fat shame me when I had high blood pressure at an urgent care clinic while waiting to be seen for a sinus infection. She gave me a snide, "Is your blood pressure always this high?" when it was barely over the normal range. Fun fact: Sinus infections can cause higher than normal blood pressure in some people.
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
    When I go to my doctor, I expect him to be straight up with me about health issues I may be facing. I don't want him to sugar coat or be nice. I want clear cut answers that I can understand, the pretain to why I am there. I also expect him to walk me through any questions I may have. Not everyone is like that. My ex-husband saw this as the doctor being cocky or opinionated, and he stopped going to him and went somewhere else. When it comes down to it, you may hurt some feelings, you may upset some people, but you are very capable of having great bedside manner while still being direct. Better to know you did what you could do to inform, than not inform at all.
  • Bekah7482
    Bekah7482 Posts: 246 Member
    zyxst wrote: »
    From the age of 9, I was told by every doctor at every appointment to lose weight. It became annoying. It became the standard prescription: ear infection? sore throat? pneumonia? car accident? second degree burns? "lose weight". Had anyone ever made a suggestion as to how to lose weight or offered some sort of help, I might have done something. I rarely go to the doctor unless it's for an annual physical or I'm sick and need medicine. I don't have medical issues that losing weight would/did solve. I have HBP (BP average 135/90 since childhood) and lost 181#. Guess what? Still have HBP. The only reason I decided to lose weight was that I couldn't find clothes in my size. The prospect of wearing the same pair of khaki jeans for 40 years was the kicker.

    IMO, unless you can a) give reasonable proof that losing weight will solve/cure/fix/help with a person's health problems, and b) give assistance on how to lose weight (eating plan, exercise plan, etc.), don't say anything. Since you sound (read) like the type of person who will tell someone to lose weight regardless, go ahead, but don't expect many of your patients to be grateful about it.

    This!! It's always lose weight but we aren't going to give you any guidance on how to start. Even the 2 times I went in and said, "I want to lose weight but i need help," I still got no guidance. A referral to a nutritionist would have gone a long way to help.
  • domeofstars
    domeofstars Posts: 480 Member
    Great question, difficult to answer because what strikes a chord with one person may not with another. I had a doctor tell me 'it would help your health to lose a few kilos'. She did this in a nice way. I also saw a podiatrist when I was still obese who was pretty blunt who told me that my weight put me at risk of diabetes and that she saw diabetics who needed to have limbs amputated which was pretty scary!

    The most important things in life to people are their families- people they love. Focusing on that aspect 'if you don't lose weight, you are at risk of these diseases. These diseases will shorten your life, and mean you have less time with people you love. You won't be there for your children' etc.

    Asking people if they have seen or known someone (especially someone they love) suffering with a disease that is common amongst someone who is overweight or obese. Asking: do you want to go through that same suffering? Do you want your family to have to watch you suffer?
  • VintageFeline
    VintageFeline Posts: 6,771 Member
    I think if it's urgent care unrelated to weight loss then it doesn't need to be said. If it's something you're seeing your GP for I think it would somewhat worrying if they never mentioned your weight given it can have so many negative consequences. The willingness of the patient to hear it is somewhat irrelevant.

    Saying it to a 9 year old however shouldn't happen but I think we have moved on from that. At least I hope.
  • cathipa
    cathipa Posts: 2,991 Member
    edited February 2017
    zyxst wrote: »
    From the age of 9, I was told by every doctor at every appointment to lose weight. It became annoying. It became the standard prescription: ear infection? sore throat? pneumonia? car accident? second degree burns? "lose weight". Had anyone ever made a suggestion as to how to lose weight or offered some sort of help, I might have done something. I rarely go to the doctor unless it's for an annual physical or I'm sick and need medicine. I don't have medical issues that losing weight would/did solve. I have HBP (BP average 135/90 since childhood) and lost 181#. Guess what? Still have HBP. The only reason I decided to lose weight was that I couldn't find clothes in my size. The prospect of wearing the same pair of khaki jeans for 40 years was the kicker.

    IMO, unless you can a) give reasonable proof that losing weight will solve/cure/fix/help with a person's health problems, and b) give assistance on how to lose weight (eating plan, exercise plan, etc.), don't say anything. Since you sound (read) like the type of person who will tell someone to lose weight regardless, go ahead, but don't expect many of your patients to be grateful about it.

    No weight loss isn't the golden ticket. Can't do much about genetics so there's that to compete with as well. But limiting your modifiable risks are advised.
    I have given advice and even help build plans, but guess what...in follow up most (if they even follow up at all) haven't started the plan. And its pretty simple : Recommend using myfitnesspal.com or similar program for weight reduction. Diet should be rich in fresh fruits, vegetables, beans, lean meats (limiting red meat), dairy (as tolerated) and whole grains. Limit prepackaged/processed foods. Drink at least 64oz water daily. Exercise 20-30min 4-5 days a week.
    I've even given custom macros, but its all for not.
    Guess I'm not the person you say I read like.

    ETA: and no I don't advise using pills or shots or some of the crazy money making weight loss gimmicks I read about.
  • snikkins
    snikkins Posts: 1,282 Member
    I think if it's urgent care unrelated to weight loss then it doesn't need to be said. If it's something you're seeing your GP for I think it would somewhat worrying if they never mentioned your weight given it can have so many negative consequences. The willingness of the patient to hear it is somewhat irrelevant.

    Saying it to a 9 year old however shouldn't happen but I think we have moved on from that. At least I hope.

    Yeah. I think it's a yearly physical type of thing, not an every time you see a doctor for an unrelated problem type of thing.

  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    When I go to my doctor, I expect him to be straight up with me about health issues I may be facing. I don't want him to sugar coat or be nice. I want clear cut answers that I can understand, the pretain to why I am there. I also expect him to walk me through any questions I may have. Not everyone is like that. My ex-husband saw this as the doctor being cocky or opinionated, and he stopped going to him and went somewhere else. When it comes down to it, you may hurt some feelings, you may upset some people, but you are very capable of having great bedside manner while still being direct. Better to know you did what you could do to inform, than not inform at all.

    I am the same way. I want a doctor who is completely clear and doesn't try to pad the info. No BS. My favorite doctor once told me that a woman's uterus should be like a lush lawn and mine was more like a field of weeds. My husband was horrified but I was thankful for the bluntness. My second favorite doctor was used less colorful language but was very clear that losing weight would help immensely with my sleep apnea. I appreciate his candor as well.

  • WVWalkerFriend
    WVWalkerFriend Posts: 575 Member
    cathipa wrote: »
    zyxst wrote: »
    From the age of 9, I was told by every doctor at every appointment to lose weight. It became annoying. It became the standard prescription: ear infection? sore throat? pneumonia? car accident? second degree burns? "lose weight". Had anyone ever made a suggestion as to how to lose weight or offered some sort of help, I might have done something. I rarely go to the doctor unless it's for an annual physical or I'm sick and need medicine. I don't have medical issues that losing weight would/did solve. I have HBP (BP average 135/90 since childhood) and lost 181#. Guess what? Still have HBP. The only reason I decided to lose weight was that I couldn't find clothes in my size. The prospect of wearing the same pair of khaki jeans for 40 years was the kicker.

    IMO, unless you can a) give reasonable proof that losing weight will solve/cure/fix/help with a person's health problems, and b) give assistance on how to lose weight (eating plan, exercise plan, etc.), don't say anything. Since you sound (read) like the type of person who will tell someone to lose weight regardless, go ahead, but don't expect many of your patients to be grateful about it.

    No weight loss isn't the golden ticket. Can't do much about genetics so there's that to compete with as well. But limiting your modifiable risks are advised.
    I have given advice and even help build plans, but guess what...in follow up most haven't started the plan. And its pretty simple : Recommend using myfitnesspal.com or similar program for weight reduction. Diet should be rich in fresh fruits, vegetables, beans, lean meats (limiting red meat), dairy (as tolerated) and whole grains. Limit prepackaged/processed foods. Drink at least 64oz water daily. Exercise 20-30min 4-5 days a week.
    I've even given custom macros, but its all for not.
    Guess I'm not the person you say I read like.

    ETA: and no I don't advise using pills or shots or some of the crazy money making weight loss gimmicks I read about.

    Then what is it you're asking exactly? It sounds like you're already telling them they're overweight/obese and giving them an action plan. Just because you think they need to lose weight doesn't mean they're ready or feel able to take those steps.
  • sarraheclark
    sarraheclark Posts: 125 Member
    Pose weight loss as a solution to applicable ailments.

    I had put on some weight over about 2 years, wasn't obese, but overweight by about 20lbs. I had gone to the doc for my breathing issues and mentioned some abdominal pain I had been having intermittently. Turns out it was my gallbladder. Doc explained how the body processes fats and that the pain will be directly correlated to my eating habits. She posed a few options: the first being a better diet and another, medication. I try to avoid medications unless it is dire. It was the SLAP IN THE FACE I needed to get my eating habits under control. Realized my eating habits were putting myself in pain.
  • Savyna
    Savyna Posts: 789 Member
    When I was 16/17 I went for my yearly check up with the pediatrician and she told me straight up youre bordering on the line for morbidly obese at a young age (I was about 5'6, 196lbs). She said you're going to be at a higher risk for diabetes, blood pressure everything scary. I was scared and I lost 30 or so pounds in a year. I regained that weight though and a little more during college but I'm fixing to now get it off and keep it off.
    So to answer your post I'd say be straightforward with them. Pull out charts, tell them whats up. They can choose to either listen to you or just not care, but you at least know you gave them as much information as you could as to where they were headed.
  • playmadcats
    playmadcats Posts: 199 Member
    In UK here and the only person who mentioned weight once was my athsma nurse. Found out I was obese due to wanting to scuba dive and beING quered on bmi. . Knew the weight had crept up but was oblivious to how heavy I was. In my case I started to sort it. Would like to add that after losing weight haven't suffered with athsma.
    However most people I know fall into three categories. The yep heard it all before not going to listen categories. The totally oblivious that weight can be a problem category,(probably got the overly tactful doctors as a couple are in terrible shape) thirdly the oh no wasn't aware there was problem must sort it out. categories.
    Thing is for last two categories how can they do anything if not aware. Doesn't mean they will change but at least they have option too.
  • CTcutie
    CTcutie Posts: 649 Member
    Reaverie wrote: »
    My doctors (2 of them now) are completely USELESS! I am obese. When I decided I needed to do something about it, it was me that brought it up and I asked them if they would refer me to a nutritionist. "Sure, we we can do that." 5 more visits and 8 phone calls and over a year later REMINDING them I asked for this and they promised to deliver, I still have NOT been referred. They acted like it was a huge favor and showed little interest in my concern. I WANT to see more doctors take a more concerned active role in their patients. I decided I don't need their help (since I'm not going to get it anyways) and that's why I joined MFP. If I can't ask a nutritionist, I will ask here.

    Does your insurance require a referral? Because mine didn't, but since there are only 2 locally, accepting new patients (and how quickly) in another problem. Maybe you can call a nutritionist in your area, explain the problem, and maybe they can guide you? Or call your insurance company? Don't give up :-) And MFP is great, either way!