Feeling Lost

ehte_h

I am at my lowest weight since 2005! (82kg - 12 stone 9lbs - 181lbs). I still have another 2 - 3kg to go, but the closer I get to my goal the more 'lost' I feel. It's difficult to describe because being fat is all I have known since I was 14. That's 20 years of being known as the fat one. I need help to embrace my new self physically and mentally. I also need to put my energies to something else other than losing weight, why is accepting a new me so difficult?

karinc2

change is always hard, especially when we have hidden behind our weight for most of our lives. You will feel vulnerable until you find something new and positive to fill the void. Find some like minded people, someone who is or has been thru the weight loss, and celebrate the new you You're not alone - there are alot of us out here. Be proud and step outside that comfort zone, let the world see you instead of hiding from it! Best wishes!

spiriteagle99

You might want to find a physical activity that you really enjoy, so that instead of being the fat guy, you're the runner, or the Cross-fit guy, or the rock climber, or the backpacker. That serves several purposes: it helps keep the weight off, it can become a new but healthy obsession, and you'll meet people who enjoy the same activity who don't remember you from when you were fat.

AliceDark

Remember that your former self isn't gone. You haven't given up your former identity. Allow yourself to take the time to explore your new thinner self -- see what you like about him, what's the same and what's different -- but also remember that you're still you. You get to choose what personality traits carry over, and you get to change the ones you want to change. And if being the fit guy doesn't work for you, you can always choose to go back to being the fat guy. All losing weight has done is given you more options to explore; where you go is entirely up to you.

fiddletime

When you hit goal it isn't over. You still need to maintain focus to maintain, until it becomes habit (hopefully). Pretend that nothing much will habit when you reach goal, since it won't, and it might help to keep you centered.

ehte_h

Thank all, appreciate the advice

JohnnyPenso

I am now smaller than I was in my last year of high school. There was a period of a few years where I weighed 240, then, over a period of 15 years (I don't like to rush I gradually worked my way down to 180, then discovered calorie counting and the last 18 came off and now I'm easily holding steady at 162. It really does feel different. With the prevelance of obesity in Canada it's now not unusual for me to walk into larger gatherings and be one of the smallest guys there. Most of the time, the guys that are lighter than me are shorter. Among my close male friends I used to be the biggest guy, then I was in the middle and now I'm the lightest. After spending so much of my adult life as a fat guy, that is a weird feeling! I'm also now smaller than a lot of my women friends and acquaintences and that's also a bizarre feeling. It does take some getting used to.

STEVE142142

We are our own worst critic and enemy. To put things in perspective January 1st 2016 my weight was 288 hit 208 approximately September 1st 2016. As of today my weight is about 207 so I've been maintaining for approximately seven months.

It literally took me till December 2016 to finally realize yes I am skinny. What you have to remember is we've seen ourselves as fat and overweight most of our Lives I've been like you I was always of the fat little kid heard all the verbal abuse blah blah blah all that stuff and it became part of my mentality and lifestyle.

IPad numerous people tell me after I lost the weight how good I look and talking to strangers they use words like skinny you look great and I said yeah right what the hell you talking about you don't know. One time I was walking into the men's room in a big box store and I looked at the mirror and I said what the hell is wrong with that mirror why do I look so funny then it hit me I am skinny. But the funny part is every once in awhile I'll regressed to the old me look at myself in the mirror and go I'm still fat even though I'm not my daughter sent me a picture of myself about a month ago something we were doing and I said I look fat in that picture and then I said wait a minute no I'm not it takes time but we'll eventually get there were the last to see the difference in ourselves good luck

ehte_h

Thanks everyone My wife was looking at old pictures and told me how much better I look now You can sometimes get so lost in this journey that you forget where you started from.

Morgaen73

Dude you did frikkin AWESOMELY.

I know how you feel though. Sometimes I still feel that I am actually bigger than I am. I've decided not to go below 90kg though (according to bmi I should weigh 78) because I would not feel comfortable being that small but even 90kg will be a massive adjustment. Also, 62kg and 3 years later I still struggle to see myself as anything other than fat.

Best of luck mate

lorrpb

Congrats on your loss! Adjusting is difficult because thats all you've known for 20 years. You just have to retrain your mind. Many of us are in that place. Try some new workouts, get involved in new active hobbies like hiking, surfing, diving, etc. This would also give you the opportunity to make new friends who know you only as thin and fit! (I'm not saying to get rid of the current friends.) You could make a list of all the things you love about being thinner &healthier and focus on those, it's like feeling your brain new info to help it adjust.

Wii_Player

I can relate to you so much. It’s like losing your own identity. For many years, I gained my weight back because I felt so lost, but not this time. I am not sure how to help you, but I will try. Look at yourself in the mirror, really look! Appreciate the new contour of your face, the shape of your arms, legs, stomach; how awesome you look in your t-shirt, shirt, suit, etc. Notice how much better you feel; how much better you are breathing; how much less pain you feel when you walk/exercise; how much more mobile you are, etc. Start loving this new wonderful you and let go of the unhealthy bigger man you used to be. You are still the same man, just healthier and most likely happier. Embrace the improved man that you have become; one that cares about his health and wants to live a long and healthy life with his loved ones. Most importantly, believe that you deserve this new look and connect with this new image. You are the same man as before; just healthier with less weight to carry around. I have no idea if this is helping. The more time you work on loving this new image, you will quickly forget the old bigger image. In fact, the old bigger image will start to be foreign to you. You have worked so hard for this new image and you deserve it and you know that, deep down, you love this new and improved image much more than the old bigger one. Keep looking at yourself and accept the new and improved changes. Be proud of your accomplishments!

mmmpork

Congrats on the weight loss! In the past where I failed when I'd hit my target weight was not setting additional goals for myself before I got there and then sticking to them. This time around I've started integrating fitness goals into my weight loss plan and plan to shift over to setting fitness goals for myself as I get closer to my target weight.

I like swimming but only do it about 1-2x per week currently. As I get closer to my target weight, I plan to ramp it up to 2-3x per week and set different goals for myself to work up to around that, eventually maybe joining a master swimmer program to keep challenging myself.

I also do Reformer Pilates 1x per week with a private instructor. I can sign up for unsupervised reformer time with my instructor's permission. I plan to work with my instructor to develop an unsupervised routine I can do on my own in addition to our weekly session and then gradually increase that. I've already started doing mat exercises and may eventually purchase my own reformer if my routine becomes frequent enough to warrant it.

Finally I've always wanted to learn Tai Chi or some form of martial art. I also like dancing. Both of these have been too difficult for me being overweight and having additional physical problems. So there are possibilities there as well where maintaining my weight becomes an integral part to achieving the fitness goals I will be setting in the future. Just never think of yourself as "done". That's the mistake I've kept making and ended up gaining the weight back as soon as I lost sight of the additional fitness goals.

ehte_h

Thank you so, so much everyone

@Wii_Player - You've come such a long way, your profile pic is inspirational