Sober March Challenge #marchingtosobriety

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  • Becky_45
    Becky_45 Posts: 59 Member
    3/1 - Forgot and had a sip of my husbands fire ball. But still refrained from ordering my favorite, at dil's bday dinner while everyone else drank.
    3/2 - Felt no desire to have a drink, in spite of it being a *kitten* day.
    3/3 - Drank - :(


  • kerry0521
    kerry0521 Posts: 16 Member
    So far it has been tough, but I've stuck with it. I WAS (using the past tense already, positive thinking!) a daily drinker, at least 2 glasses of wine each evening. My husband has cut out the wine (has beer instead, I like beer occasionally but usually only after a long hard bike ride...not to relax in the evening. So his drinking beer is not a temptation at all). I would like to be someone who has an occasional couple of glasses of wine as a treat, not as a daily thing. That is my long-term goal. But I think I need to go quite awhile without wine at all until I can be that person. I'm going to an event today and I am assigned to bring champagne...so gotta make a trip to the wine aisle. Wish me luck!
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    Becky_45, I can so relate! It really is hard. I've previously succeeded in not drinking 1 or 2 days max. Then I get down on myself. I hope you don't.

    Kerrymcc, I am like you--daily drinker with a desire to be an occasional "enjoy a glass of wine" drinker. Like you, I need a good long time with no alcohol before even thinking about working it back in. My husband is doing this with me, but when he has a drink, it's bourbon, which I wouldn't drink if you paid me, so that's not much of a factor for me.

    Last night was the first time I was really pissed off that I couldn't have a drink. Mad at the universe. Perrier Shmerrier. But after 4 days I wasn't going to let "it" win. Went to bed (mad) and to sleep. This morning I did NOT regret not drinking (the old saying--you never regret not drinking the next morning). Drove to Starbucks and got a latte and paid for the woman behind me, who annoyingly tailgated me all the way to Starbucks, so I figured I should brighten her day,maybe make her sorry she tailgated, and maybe apologize for calling the universe a *kitten*. (Hope it doesn't change that to "kitten" because I definitely did not call the universe a kitten).

    Day 5 it is. Sorry if I'm over-posting. It's part of what's helping me do this. I love absolutely everything about not drinking except the actually not drinking part--if that makes any sense.
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    Oh darn. It changed it to "kitten." I called the universe a [email protected][email protected] Let's see if that works.
  • AlisalGal
    AlisalGal Posts: 88 Member
    Now I have a real challenge on my girls' night out on the 22nd. I used my "free pass" last night. My husband and I tried a new restaurant, and it was unexpectedly swanky (at least for us!). The decor and the night out just called for a glass of champagne before dinner. Delicious, but will call for extra willpower the remainder of the month.
  • kerry0521
    kerry0521 Posts: 16 Member
    Made it through 2 wine events events yesterday! And I had to shop and bring wine to both...phew. I've been reading up on the psychology of cutting back on drinking. One of the things I read is that it is important, IF you are going to drink to not give in to an urge but to decide that you are going to drink in advance. So basically putting your conscious/thinking brain in charge vs. the reactive/habitual brain. Because what we are trying to practice is not giving in to the urge when our conscious brain wants something different. So for example, if you really want to have a drink out with friends then decide to do that in advance of the event. Or if you feel you are about to cave tell yourself if you really want to have a drink you can have one tomorrow if you still want it. The most important thing to practice is noticing that we have the urge to have a drink and not caving in. I have been thinking about this a lot yesterday....at both events I said to myself that I could have my favorite glass of wine at home today (Monday) if I still wanted it...this morning when I woke up I decided I did not need to have wine tonight. But if I did, then it would be ok, because my conscious brain would have been in charge of the decision. Hope that makes sense!!! I think it is an interesting way to look at it.
  • KelseyBergemann
    KelseyBergemann Posts: 9 Member
    Five days down!

    In my little group of 6 participating in the challenge we have 5 still going! My mom caved in on day 2, lol she loves her wine! My husband and I are adjusting okay, went to bed all this weekend before 10pm and were up around 8am so we are feeling productive which is good, and no hangovers is a plus! The one thing I have noticed this week are my dreams, they have been off the hook! Not sure if I've been watching some weird tv shows this week or what but I've never had such vivid, crazy dreams and they happen to be going on the week I haven't consumed any alcohol. Not sure if that's just a coincidence but I find it interesting!

    Ready for week #2!
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    Day 7 has a nice ring to it, psychologically--one week. I'm hoping that "not drinking" stops taking up so much psychic space pretty soon. The fact that it does take up so much of my attention just confirms it's what I need to do. It's still hard. I mean, I don't focus much on other things I'm "not doing."
  • Becky_45
    Becky_45 Posts: 59 Member

    3/1 - Forgot and had a sip of my husbands fire ball. But still refrained from ordering my favorite, at dil's bday dinner while everyone else drank.
    3/2 - Felt no desire to have a drink, in spite of it being a *kitten* day.
    3/3 - Drank
    3/4 -Drank
    3/5 - Drank
    3/6- Drank
    3/7 - No Drink - Starting again, since I have blown it so far. Life dumped a very unsuspecting blow from my past on me. And I did not deal well with it. I have some accountability through a Healthy Living class, so hopefully this will help. I know alcohol does not help my symptoms at all and I just want it gone.
  • Becky_45
    Becky_45 Posts: 59 Member
    I missed this previously, sorry about that! What a great idea, I will have to try it next time we go out. I have not had a good weekend, but I am wanting to get at it again starting today! Thanks for the idea!
    donimfp wrote: »
    Becky_45 wrote: »
    First day of March -no alcohol, and I have my daughter in law's bday dinner to go to. At the restaurant where Its a huge trigger for me to drink AND everyone will be drinking. -My very favorite drink there that I can't find anywhere else. Ha! I'm up for it though, so ready to do this!

    Good luck everyone! :smiley:

    My best friend has been alcohol free for a couple of years now. If we are in a restaurant with a bartender, she says, "Fix me the most amazing drink ever without any alcohol, please." She gets amazing drinks, too. Maybe a bartender could approximate your favorite drink without the alcohol? Have something marvelous in any case.

  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    Becky_45, I can SO relate to your struggle. I have no idea why this time I'm making it (so far). Day 8. It's a psychological struggle for sure but getting a teensy bit easier day by day. I started reading "Drinking, A Love Story" by C. Knapp (courtesy of my best friend who orders the delicious non-alc. drinks). Knapp was a cray cray alcoholic, and I can't relate at all to the EXTENT of her drinking, but some of her insights about WHY she drank and why it was so hard not to I'm finding really helpful. I'm also finding it helpful to treat myself like a diva, which is absolutely not me. Propped up in bed with magazines, drinking Perrier by night, working out by day. And I'm determined to really treat myself on day 10. My husband better hide the checkbook.
  • AlisalGal
    AlisalGal Posts: 88 Member
    Another excellent book is "Unwasted: My Lush Sobriety" by Sacha Scoblic. I really recommend it - like "Drinking, A Love Story", the author was seriously out of control. But I definitely appreciated her introspection and points of view, and even saw a little of myself in her.
  • Becky_45
    Becky_45 Posts: 59 Member
    3/1 - Forgot and had a sip of my husbands fire ball. But still refreained from ordering my favorite, at dil's bday dinner while everyone else drank.
    3/2 - No Drink Felt no desire to have a drink, in spite of it being a *kitten* day.
    3/3 - Drank
    3/4 -Drank
    3/5 - Drank
    3/6- Drank
    3/7 - No Drink - Starting again, since I have blown it so far. Life dumped a very unsuspecting blow from my past on me. And I did not deal well with it. I have some accountability through a Healthy Living class, so hopefully this will help. I know alcohol does not help my symptoms at all and I just want it gone.
    3/8 - No Drink
  • Becky_45
    Becky_45 Posts: 59 Member
    Thanks! I will definitely look up that book!

    I never worried about having a problem with alcohol, but then 3 years ago, I had reached my lowest weight since highschool, (I had been overweight the whole time I was with my husband.) All of a sudden, I was having issues come up regarding my abuse that I thought were all dealt with. but the attention from men, while also being married brought on new dynamics for me. I then was filled with guilt, shame, and started self punishing and self sabotaging, and for 3 months I drank all week long, was drunk 3 or 4 times a week, gained 35 pounds in those three months. And was in the overweight range again. I cut back on the drinking, till my father was diagnosed with cancer and passed a month later.I drank for another six weeks, then I quit for 2 months, wanting to honor him. Then the holidays hit (We bought a store 2 1/2 years ago, and the holidays are crazy for us.) and I was back at it again, then quit for 6 months. I'm so afraid that I may be becoming a binge drinker, and have a serious problem on my hands. When I had lost all that weight and maintained for 5 years before hitting my lowest, I had done so much work dealing with my emotional eating. Now I have a whole nother level to deal with, regarding "feeding" my emotions... So frustrating! I want to stop the cycle now!
    donimfp wrote: »
    Becky_45, I can SO relate to your struggle. I have no idea why this time I'm making it (so far). Day 8. It's a psychological struggle for sure but getting a teensy bit easier day by day. I started reading "Drinking, A Love Story" by C. Knapp (courtesy of my best friend who orders the delicious non-alc. drinks). Knapp was a cray cray alcoholic, and I can't relate at all to the EXTENT of her drinking, but some of her insights about WHY she drank and why it was so hard not to I'm finding really helpful. I'm also finding it helpful to treat myself like a diva, which is absolutely not me. Propped up in bed with magazines, drinking Perrier by night, working out by day. And I'm determined to really treat myself on day 10. My husband better hide the checkbook.

  • Becky_45
    Becky_45 Posts: 59 Member
    Thank you!! I will definitely look this up as well!
    AlisalGal wrote: »
    Another excellent book is "Unwasted: My Lush Sobriety" by Sacha Scoblic. I really recommend it - like "Drinking, A Love Story", the author was seriously out of control. But I definitely appreciated her introspection and points of view, and even saw a little of myself in her.

  • Tmochava
    Tmochava Posts: 41 Member
    It's great to see so many people that can I relate to. Although it's 9 days into March I'm joining this challenge. So far its been 2 days without a drink on purpose and I'm beginning to get that itch. Let's see how long I can keep this up for. Its crazy how I count the number of days I've had a drink consecutively and I also count the number of days I've gone without consecutively. I do enjoy a drink in the evenings to unwind so this will definitely be a challenge.
  • Tmochava
    Tmochava Posts: 41 Member
    Also thanks for posting the books. I'm going to read them.
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    Welcome, Tmochava! Day 9. Yay! Still haven't decided on the day 10 reward, but I'll think of something. My husband is doing this with me, and I notice that he doesn't seem to be giving it a second thought. It's taking up so much psychic space for me (not many moments of the day when I'm not conscious that I'm "NOT DRINKING") that I'm thinking that must be telling me something. I asked my non-drinking (now) best friend how long it took before drinking wasn't really much a part of her consciousness, and she said at 3 months she saw a huge difference, and now (3 years later--I had thought it was 2), she never even gives it a thought. That's where I want to be, and I'm not sure if I can ever get there if and when I go back to drinking even moderately. We're all wired differently, I guess. I'm liking how much easier my workouts seem. Liking undisturbed sleep. Feel like I'll like good bloodwork results in April. SO much to like about not drinking. But I still pretty much hate it. Sigh.
  • Becky_45
    Becky_45 Posts: 59 Member
    Welcome, and good luck!! I too count both, how many days I have had and have gone without.
    Tmochava wrote: »
    It's great to see so many people that can I relate to. Although it's 9 days into March I'm joining this challenge. So far its been 2 days without a drink on purpose and I'm beginning to get that itch. Let's see how long I can keep this up for. Its crazy how I count the number of days I've had a drink consecutively and I also count the number of days I've gone without consecutively. I do enjoy a drink in the evenings to unwind so this will definitely be a challenge.

  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    Oh, PS. I have a lovely butterfly profile pic, which I changed to about 2 weeks ago, but this gray Lego-man icon is still showing up. Anybody know how to make your profile pic show up in these forums? It shows up on my home page and other places.