Struggling!!!

alexandrak97

Hello all, just a little bit of background info. on me - currently at university, about 342 pounds (size 3x/26 in pants & dresses) and much more to go. About two months ago I started going to an endocrinologist for PCOS who told me to start with MPF (I had done this awhile ago) and work towards a 1600 calorie diet a day. And that's fine. I can do that. But then I was chosen to go on a trip to Poland with a class for Study Abroad and since about a week ago, I have been having nightmares about not being able to fit in my seat and having to pay for another seat or getting kicked off the plane. I am absolutely terrified of this happening. But enough about that...

I had no problem sticking to a 1600 cal. diet, but due to my recent stress and anxiety, I've been cutting this almost in half, eating only 900 calories a day, trying to find a few little things to get to 1000 cals. so MPF won't send me that little warning message. I've also been doing 25 squats and 25 wall-push ups daily and have started walking everywhere instead of taking the bus, as well as have been taking steps instead of the elevator. It's little, but it's the maximum I have been able to

But, I'm starting to get worried. I can't seem to stop overanalyzing everything and even counting calories during meals to make sure I don't eat too much. My friends and family think my diet is dangerous and that it's not healthy for me to be doing what I'm doing. I guess I wanted to see what you guys thought, as well as make some new friends to keep me accountable! Thanks in advance.

Orphia

This type of thinking is disordered, and you've done well to ask about your concerns here.

Do you have a university counsellor you can talk to?

It's not good for someone your weight to eat so little.

Yes, counting calories takes thought, but doing it to under-eat is a problem.

If you can nip the under-eating in the bud, you will avoid things like hair loss, period loss, or worse.

Counting calories should only take a couple of minutes per day. Granted, at the start, you need to learn the ins and outs of the method, and that takes time to research. So you might be in the learning process.

But your calorie limit is definitely worrying. Hope this helps.

duddysdad

The thing about under-eating is you are setting yourself up for a cycle of of binging. If MFP says you can eat 1600 calories for whatever weight loss goal you set, then eating that should let you lose that amount of weight. Eating below that will leave you hungry, and while you may feel fine for a while, eventually it will catch up to you and you will binge due to hunger. Everyone want's to lose weight fast, but those who make it to their goal and are successful at not gaining it back, stick to their goals. Losing weight takes time, and you have to be willing to put in the time and effort and trust the system. You can't expect to lose it quicker than what is healthy and sustainable, no matter how tempting it may be. You also want to minimize muscle loss, or you may end up looking a lot worse than you thought you would. You will be at a low weight, but you won't look like it because you will still have a high body fat percentage. You can actually be considered overweight body fat wise, while having a low BMI. It's called skinny fat. I've been there and it sucks.

CattOfTheGarage

You need to get up to that 1600 calories. At your weight you burn a lot of calories just being alive, and you need to give your body the fuel it needs. As you're finding, weight loss behaviors can be habit-forming and can tend towards extremes -nipping this in the bud is absolutely what you need to do, by upping your calories to 1600 and cutting back on the exercise.

The first thing I would do is find out which airline you are flying with and call them to ask if you will have any trouble travelling at your weight. You are obsessing about this question but you have no solid information. So find out the answer.

If they say there will be no problem, then you need to take them at their word and put it out of your mind.

If they say there will be a problem, do not take that as a green light to starve yourself. Find out from them what weight you would need to be below in order to have no problem flying, and look at the time between now and the trip and see if it is possible to lose that weight in time, at a rate of no more than 2lb a week. If it is, then go to it, but you need to stick to those calories and pace yourself. No "cheating" by eating less than your goal. Undereating makes it less likely you will reach your goal, not more (as you will probably binge and quit, and definitely damage your health).

If it is not possible for you to lose enough before the trip at a healthy rate of loss, then you will have to make a decision to cancel and focus on losing the weight slowly and sustainably so you don't have to pass up any more opportunities like that. Denial is a big part of any weight gain, and this is the moment where you have to face facts.

I genuinely hope it does not come to that, however, and that the airline is able to reassure you that you will be fine. It would be much better if you were able to uncouple your weight loss from this deadline and have less anxiety associated with it.

If raising your calories back to a consistent 1600 and cutting back exercise makes you too anxious to be able to do it, you need to speak to that doctor of yours and get in touch with someone who can help you with what could be a developing eating disorder. Please, don't carry on as you are just now.