Reached 'UGW' but not satisfied; more to the story?

xtxtxtx

Hi,
First of all, this is my first login in years. So ignore my food diary and all of that. I just thought this would be a good place to come to with this problem.
I am 5'1". I started out at 138 pounds (years ago!) and now I am 105 pounds after slow, healthy weight loss to get to this point. This was supposed to be my ultimate goal weight. However, I am not happy with my body. I would LOVE to lose 5-7 more pounds. Doing so would still supposedly leave me in the healthy weight range; however, we have another problem--I've never had a period at any weight lower than this (and I've been at all different weights throughout my life, as I have suffered from eating disorders multiple times). When I was anorexic and recovered, I got my period back no sooner than at this weight--105. To make things even weirder, this is my second month maintaining 105 and my period is late, so I'm already freaking out. I think it's coming though--I can kind of sense it--but late. Anyway, what should I do? Should I try to get to 100 pounds and just...pray that I get periods? What if I don't? I might have to gain back up to like 110 then trying to trigger my period. Maybe even higher. So it just really kills me inside because I want to be thinner than this. Not underweight like before, but 98-100 pounds would just be great. And I know you guys will tell me to just work out and gain muscle, but again, as dumb as it sounds I just want to be thinner. Like, smaller and bonier and more delicate. Help...

TimothyFish

Being "satisfied" is a head thing, not a weight thing.

TavistockToad

Sounds like your eating disorder talking to me... i'd speak to your treatment team about wanting to be 'smaller and bonier'.

LessCookiess

Please speak with your doctor about what you wrote even better show the post to him. You need professional help since you want to be more "bony". You're already at a healthy weight, so trying to lose more weight is a bit concerning.

LivingtheLeanDream

105 sounds light enough for your height imo - perhaps its time for a recomp, that way you'll have different goals rather than the number on the scale you will be aiming to build muscle.
When has bony EVER been a good look?

mrspett323

You sound like you are more infatuated with a number on the scale than being healthy. You actually sound like you want to look like a skeleton. Yea you need to go back and seek professional help seriously! Wow, it sounds mental.....bonier

mitch16

Wait--you're missing menses and want to lose more weight? Probably should check in with your doctor as you're sounding a wee bit disordered.

BTW--"delicate" is genetics. You might never get there, even if you lost 20 pounds (which I am totally NOT advocating).

addicted2cola

I think you need to look at the real reason you want to be thinner. Why? I think that if you already have concerns, and it sounds like you do, you should speak with your doctor/specialist.

animatorswearbras

I also want to point out that things like weight training will not bulk you out and make you look less delicate unless you go on steroids and eat a 3000 calorie protein rich diet and train hours a day, it is incredibly difficult for women to gain bulky muscle and pretty impossible to do it accidentally.

I agree with others that your disorder may be rearing its head again if you want to see protruding bones and maybe speak to a professional if you can. If thats not possible please aim for health rather than the number on the scale, gaining that 5 pounds and aiming for lean muscle may even mean your shape improves as your body recomps.

You will never be happy if you continue to aim for a scale weight alone considering your condition. x Listen to your body and good luck. x

GauchoMark

why aren't you satisfied?

My guess is that you need to lift weights and GAIN weight a little bit to get to the look that you are ultimately looking for. Losing weight is just part of it, building muscle to define shape is the other half. If you have been losing weight for as long as you have, chances are you have lost a lot of muscle in the process and need to build that back to look the way you want.

Need2Exerc1se

TimothyFish wrote: »

Being "satisfied" is a head thing, not a weight thing.

This. It sounds like you want to be underweight. With that often comes loss of periods. That's your body telling you something. Listen to it.