Is there such thing as bad motivation to lose weight?

GoCleanGoLean

So my cousin and I were discussing reasons for losing weight, and one of my reasons were so I look good and feel confident in a crop top. I have other reasons, such as the energy I gain, and the fact that healthy food just makes me feel better overall than unhealthy foods, and how much I love to see the progress and yaddy yaddy ya.

Upon hearing this, my cousin scrunched up her face and told me that "wanting to look good in a crop top" is vain, selfish, and that it was a "wrong" reason to want to lose weight.

So this leads me to ask, is there a wrong reason to want to lose weight? I know some are less healthy than others (for example, it's not very good to lose weight because you hate your body), but I didn't think wanting to feel confident in semi-revealing clothes is a bad thing.

It's not that I want to strut around in skimpy clothing, I just want to be able to show an appropriate amount of skin and still feel proud about my body.

Is this bad? Is this wrong?

andrea4736

Your reasons are your own and I certainly wouldn't call them wrong. The only "wrong" reasons I can see would be unhealthy or delusional ones...i.e., wanting to look exactly like someone else or doing it to try to make someone other than yourself happy. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look good.

lmew91

To be 100% honest, my main reason for losing weight to begin with was because I was getting married, and I was NOT going to be a bride who others thought looked bad in her dress. Also, I didn't want to look back on my wedding pictures later and wish that I had been more motivated to look good on my special day.

Now, I want to maintain a healthy weight because I don't want to be the type of person who loses it, looks good/fit, then gains it all back.

Those are pretty vain reasons, but I'd be lying if I said they weren't the main ones. Once I started losing weight, I felt so much better inside and out, so that is another source of motivation. I like pushing myself to lift heavier, run farther or fast, etc. But yes, it all started with the desire to look good on the outside.

annacole94

There's nothing wrong with being motivated by your own vanity.

There is something wrong about having feelings about what other people wear, or how they look, or disparaging their confidence. People should be proud of their body and wear what they want - at all sizes. If I want to lose a few pounds before I wear a bikini, that's on me. It's not a call that someone bigger than me "shouldn't" do it.

Tacklewasher

Bad reasons to lose weight only come into play with folks trying to get at unhealthy low BMI (anorexic). Otherwise, tell your cousin to *kitten* off.

Losing weight to look hot is fine.

Derpy_Hooves

lmew91 wrote: »

Those are pretty vain reasons, but I'd be lying if I said they weren't the main ones. Once I started losing weight, I felt so much better inside and out, so that is another source of motivation. I like pushing myself to lift heavier, run farther or fast, etc. But yes, it all started with the desire to look good on the outside.

That's how I started too and it's still a motivator.
However what finally got me to "flick that switch", was my children and me wanting them to be healthy and active. The only way to do that (in my mind) is by setting the right example to them. I can hardly tell them to eat their veg while I stuff my face on cake...!

JaydedMiss

one of mine was to wear a crop top to xD note my profile pic. If the reason is personal theres no wrong ones, If your doing it because a boyfriend called you fat (for example) thatd be wrong.

sheermomentum

Attempts to demonstrate moral superiority are tiresome and rude. Your reasons are perfectly respectable, and should therefore be respected.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

A little vanity is okay, especially if it motivates you to do something healthy.

"Bad" reasons might be because you think you'll be magically happy when thinner (you won't), or because you think a potential partner might like you more if you were thinner (if they do, F-them), or because a partner TOLD you to (again, F-them).

genpopadopolous

Wanting to look better is on my list. Its not THE reason but liking how I look in pictures and a swimsuit is helpful.

I will say that I think focusing on looks could be a problem if the looks are unattainable or unrealistic; like a photoshopped cover or someone who is surgically enhanced.

But wanting to like how you look isn't inherently an issue.

kaylajane11

Nothing wrong with it at all. I honestly think anyone who says that looking good isn't a factor in why they want to lose weight is lying. It's always a factor, but maybe not the main one.

Yes, being healthy and fit, feeling great, having more energy, etc. are huge reasons why I track what I eat and exercise. But the main reason? Because I want to have a bangin' bod. The rest are bonuses.

Codilee87

I can think of a few that I would consider "bad" but they generally involve unhealthy practices like bulimia/anorexia or being pressured to lose weight by a partner/parent/coach/friend who makes you feel worthless for being yourself.

If you want to look hot in a certain outfit or feel confident naked and that is enough motivation for you to get fit and healthy then by all means go for it.

Tacklewasher

kaylajane11 wrote: »

Nothing wrong with it at all. I honestly think anyone who says that looking good isn't a factor in why they want to lose weight is lying. It's always a factor, but maybe not the main one.

I'm actually concerned I will look worse with the weight loss. I look at someone like Penn Jillete and think he looks like crap having lost 100 lbs. And I honestly worry that it will be the same for me. Too much loose skin and turkey neck.

Don't know if that will happen, but....

JaydedMiss

Tacklewasher wrote: »

kaylajane11 wrote: »

Nothing wrong with it at all. I honestly think anyone who says that looking good isn't a factor in why they want to lose weight is lying. It's always a factor, but maybe not the main one.

I'm actually concerned I will look worse with the weight loss. I look at someone like Penn Jillete and think he looks like crap having lost 100 lbs. And I honestly worry that it will be the same for me. Too much loose skin and turkey neck.

Don't know if that will happen, but....

your beautiful youll always be beautiful relaxxx ;D

BusyRaeNOTBusty

I've definitely reached an age where my face looks better when I'm a little chubbier than when I'm thin. Oh well.

maybe1pe

I would be lying if I didn't say my vanity was a serious contributing factor for me wanting to lose weight. I want to look good and I want to feel good, but I want those things for myself. If I like how I look I seriously don't care if someone else does, it's about me. I want to look at my body in the mirror and be like daaayyyyuuummmm and my definition of that might not be someone else's definition and that's ok.

stealthq

Wanting to look good is not a bad reason to lose weight. It might or might not be a sufficient reason to get to goal or keep it off, but that's a whole other issue.

msf74

GoCleanGoLean wrote: »

Is this bad?

Nope

GoCleanGoLean wrote: »

Is this wrong?

Nope.

Now some people say they're pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.

They have the right to be wrong I guess.

sardelsa

I am all about vanity..especially when it comes to cutting the last few pounds. Also it is the reason I am bulking, otherwise why on earth would I be doing this to myself!! Haha

amusedmonkey

I don't think there is such a thing as bad motivation, except when you want to lose 30 pounds in one month for reunion or something. When my mom gains weight every year after visiting my grandmother, she loses it because buying a new wardrobe would be too time and money consuming, and she keeps it off all year. That's as good a motivation as any.

Lounmoun

I think weight loss is wrong if you are doing unhealthy things like striving for below a healthy weight as your goal or you are doing it to get someone else's approval.
Like if your boyfriend told you he'd dump you if you didn't drop 10 lbs. I think it would be bad/stupid to use that as motivation and lose weight to stay in that kind of relationship.
As long as your goal weight is a healthy weight, you aren't doing dumb unhealthy things to get there and it is your idea then it really isn't wrong motivation to want to look good or wear certain clothes.

I am losing weight to improve my health and my quality of life. I deserve to feel good. I want to wear clothes that fit better. Selfish reasons. I am not losing weight for my husband or my child or society.

missmagnoliablossom

I think a person's motivation is bad if it leads you to do dangerous things - "i.e. I hate my body so I'm going to only eat 600 calories today," etc. Everyone's reasons are their own - the important thing is to get to your goal in a healthy way.

moesis

Your motivation is your own and no one else's business.

MomReborn

Your reasons are your own. If you don't think there is some magic attached to getting healthy, you'll be fine. There is no such thing as "bad" motivation, unless it's totally unrealistic and delusional. For example, thinking you're better than someone else for not having "vain" and "selfish" thoughts is, in fact, unrealistic, delusional, vain and selfish. JS

duddysdad

One of my main reasons for wanting to lose weight is to look good in smaller clothes. Also, to prove people wrong who said I would never lose weight. It's vain, so what. I was tired of being fat and wanted to look better for myself and others. Not because I want to impress them, just so I can shove it in their faces. There is nothing wrong with it. I don't want to look like someone else, I just feel like my body is not supposed to be fat, it's just a result of my poor choices.

AnnPT77

kaylajane11 wrote: »

Nothing wrong with it at all. I honestly think anyone who says that looking good isn't a factor in why they want to lose weight is lying. It's always a factor, but maybe not the main one.

(snip by reply-er)

HaHaha!

As I told a friend who was worried that I was losing too much weight because of appearance goals:

If I cared that much about how I look, there are many, many things I would've done even before losing weight: Dye my hair, have reconstruction after the bilateral mastectomies, get my teeth capped, wear makeup, tune up my wardrobe, . . . I could go on and on.

I'm actually pretty happy to say that at age 61, I have confidence in myself because of strengths I myself value. Appearance, for me, is not a biggie. I wouldn't diss others with different values and preferences, but that doesn't mean I have to share them.

And I don't think it's wrong, bad, shallow, etc., to lose weight for reasons of appearance, even though I did it for health, to avoid taking statins, to take the stress off my painful knees, to bring my blood pressure down, to further reduce my chances of more cancer, etc.

You be you, and I'll applaud . . . I'll be me.

victoria_1024

When I first started losing a few years ago, I had recently moved to my home town. I kept running into people I used to know in high school and I was sick of feeling fat and frumpy. So that was a big starting off point for me. Like others said, I found more internal motivation along the way and I managed to lose 90 lbs and got in really good shape. I'm proud to say I look and feel even better than I did when I graduated high school 15 years ago. And now I do it for me, not for them.

Christine_72

The only reason i lost weight is because i wanted to look better. I only had 30lbs to lose though. If it was 50-100-150lbs it would no doubt be for health reasons as well as vanity.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

dragon_girl26

Besides my health, I also wanted to lose weight to wear cuter clothes, and also to attract the attention of men. Your reasons are your own and eff your cousin''s judgement of you for it.

FreyasRebirth

All reasons are pretty selfish in the end. You're either doing it to attain something that benefits you or doing it to avoid something that may harm you (or both). Self-preservation and self-promotion are like law #1. Even the things we do for friends, partners, and children can have selfish undertones. Children themselves are a way for us to project our influence into a future we may never see.

Reaping the rewards of your own efforts isn't inherently negative. If your reasons hurt no one (including yourself) and they motivate you, they are good reasons.