The hubby is onboard - is his goal reasonable ?

jelleigh

So my husband has recently decided that he wants to lose weight with me. This is a pretty big deal as he's always been overweight and it affects his self esteem , and he's always been fairly convinced that he can't change it. Over the years he's joined me once or twice and lost a bit of weight but at the time we werent making life long sustainable changes so we both gained back. His stats: 31 yrs old, 6' tall, SW: 270, final GW: ? He thinks 220? But I think that still puts him at a high BMI?

Now I'm here and on the CICO bandwagon and have lost 32 of 75 lbs. I've been sharing with him bits and pieces of the knowledge that this fine community has given me. He is a smart guy and knows this will take time - it was actually him who convinced me originally that I needed to take things slower and make long term changes.

That all being said: We are out of the country for awhile and head back home in July where we will see all our friends and family. He wants to lose a bunch of weight before then and I want to help him, but I also want to make sure it's safe and reasonable.

Now ive read here SO many times about weight loss rates and what's healthy and what to expect, and yet I'm here again to ask a similar question so please forgive my repetitive question - but what goal can we set for him? I've noticed that he seems to lose weight much easier than me . I don't want to say that and discredit the hard work that the men of MFP are doing to lose weight , but it seems that he can just stop snacking at night and drop 10 lbs with no further effort. With this in mind, and the fact that he has a fair amount to lose, could he hit 220 by mid July? I ran the stats and I think what I learned is that if he eats 1800 calories a day and is slightly active, he can hit that ? I suggested to him that he try eating at 1800 cal for a week or two, and if he feels too deprived, we add like 300 cal in. Does anyone have any insights, suggestions, opinions on this? Any other advice to help?

I will add in that He generally enjoys eating healthy food and he essentially has just agreed to eat only what I put in front of him. His downfall is generally portion control, night snacking, and some drinks so we are cutting drinks /alcohol for a bit (just to get the ball rolling) and I'm helping him understand portion sizes and to ask himself whether he's actually hungry or just bored or thinks he needs to eat more.

size102b

He should aim for 1-2 lbs a week it's not a race even st 2lbs a week he'll drop a lot
Make sure he's not starting to low in calories and if he drops loads weight just stopping snacks at night that probably means he was getting most of his over eating calories from snacking
Calorie counting isn't about sacrificing treats and snacks it's about eating healthy eating include a couple snacks a life style change as soon as you restrict everything you love you'll not stick to plan - been there many times yoyoed many times
Also hopefully he's not just doing it for an occasion as lots people stop afterwards

Make sure you set his calories as either Sedentary and he gets a really good hmr to see his exercise calories and he eats back say half of those
Or
Use a good online weightloss calorie calculator to get the right amount calories with adding in honestly his exercise activity level most people over estimate how active they are - human nature

Explain he has to log everything honestly all the little things that he may slip in his mouth without realising sauces sugar candy etc these all add up and that's usually where people fail on calorie counting no eye balling food weights and use a digital food scale and a measuring jug for all calories liquids
Get him to measure his inches day one it's known scales aren't a liner they don't show true weightloss
He will lose fast men do us women have more hormonal problems slower metabolism so don't compare yourself

Well done to you both good luck in sure come July you'll both be way on the way to goal

Machka9

1) 220 is fine for a first goal. Might end up being the final goal ... or he might continue.

2) Enter his stats into MFP, choose sedentary as his activity level, select to lose 1 lb/week. What's the calorie goal MFP gives him?

At 1 lb/week, by July he's look at about a 20 lb loss.

He could possibly lose up to 2 lb/week but that would mean that his calorie goal would be lower and he might feel more deprived.

Don't forget to exercise and log that separately. Then eat half the exercise calories back.

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld

1% of his body weight is the top goal he should aim for so the rate changes as he becomes smaller.

SierraFatToSkinny

I think it's doable and not super fast. (It's definitely a bit fast since that's about 10 pounds a month, but that's not too far off of 2lbs a week.)

Why not have the goal be at the end of July? That would be an average of 2.3lbs a week loss.

Edit: Btw, 1kg is 2.205lbs. That's an available choice if you're on the metric system. So.. hey, 2.3 isn't that far off.

jelleigh

Thanks for the advice all!

jemhh

Just aim for 1-2 lbs a week and forget about a timeline. It's an artificial stressor that has no value.

crb426

He could reach that goal. It's not impossible, especially since it will probably drop off quickly in the beginning (but then slow down as he reaches goal). I wouldn't go crazy trying to reach that goal by July though. I don't like timelines in terms of weight loss goals. If his goal is 220 then set it into MFP and follow what it says to lose 2 pounds per week without thinking of an end-date.

Either way, even if he only loses 20 pounds by then, he'll feel way better than if doesn't lose anything.

Tacklewasher

So I'm 6', started at ~330 in Sept and down to 255 now. So 6 months for ~ 75 lbs. So in the same ballpark. I'm trying for 220 at the end of June.

First, yeah 220 won't be the final goal but depending on his bone structure, it may not be too far off. I've got a wrist size ~ 8", so larger than average frame. Some sites say this adds 10% to the BMI range, I'm figuring a 5% bump. So ultimately 190 will be my goal, but I don't plan to hit that this year. When I get to 220 I want to work on gaining muscle, so will hit the gym in Sept.

1800 seems like a good goal. I'm eating 2000 but am jogging on a treadmill for 25 mins 5-6 days a week. Otherwise I sit on my butt all day so MFP has me at 1550. If he is lightly active @ 270, that is a good place to start. Yes you can tweak it if needed. I'm still losing at 2 lbs per week with those calories, so I think he could hit that goal.

I went more aggressive than that to start. I lost 15 lbs a month for 3 months. But I started heavier. The biggest concern I have now is that rapid weight loss can contribute to gallstones. Read https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/health-topics/weight-control/dieting_gallstones/Pages/dieting-and-gallstones.aspx#f

I don't know about your hubby, but that kinda scares me and I'm not sure if 3 1/2 pounds per week is in the "rapid weight loss" range, but I don't recommend it as gallstones apparently hurt worse than giving birth. (j/k). For that reason, I'm a bit leery of the 1% rule for guys our size.

He has a ~ 20 weeks to go and 55 lbs to lose. I'd still say target 2 lb per week, so that would be 40 lbs by Mid-July. I'll add another 5 lbs to that as he's going to drop pretty quick in the first month, just because. That would put him at ~230 by your goal date. As 220 - 230 is still overweight, I'm thinking I can keep the rate of loss up until then. But I have not hit that range yet so I could be out to lunch and may not be able to keep the rate of loss up when I get closer. I don't know yet.

If you don't have a food scale, get one. If he doesn't have a tracker, he should consider one. If he's not walking, he should start. I started with walking. Have a treadmill in the basement and walked while watching hockey and football. I've completed C25K and am now working on speed, but I like the treadmill and it's still too flipping cold here to run outside.

Also, he should start some kind of lifting program, and keep his protein over 100g per day. With weight loss comes muscle loss, but you want to minimize it as much as possible and the only way to do that is with protein and resistance work.

It's nice that you can do this together. My wife is a healthy weight, so we are not losing together but we are comparing steps to each other. But be careful trying to compete with him for weight loss, you will probably lose.

Have him read http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10490435/what-rate-can-someone-lose-at where I basically asked the same question. I got some decent advice there that may be helpful.

My diary is open if he want to look at it. Just be aware I'm feeling slightly under the weather this weekend and that always increases my appetite so this weekend is a bit of a diet break for me. I've had a lot of pizza and Chinese food, which is not typical. So go back a bit earlier. I've also been snow shoeing on the weekends and have one big dinner out, but I've earned the calories and enjoy the Keg.

Anything else, just ask.

Azdak

At his weight, he can aggressive. 50 lbs by July is theoretically possible, but probably too ambitious. The main thing is to "get the ball rolling" so to speak. Losing those first 5-10lbs not only shows you are on a good program, but it can be incredibly motivating as well. I think doing that will lessen the need to have a fixed weight loss/time goal. TBH, at his weight, choosing a "goal" is a really like picking out a random number--due to changes in body composition, "goal" weights tend to be constantly moving targets.

I like the fact that this is something you are doing together and it seems to be taking place within a very positive framework. If you can keep it that way, it will be an even more rewarding experience.

jelleigh

Thanks again. And really practical advice @tacklewasher and @Azdak .

Just before we got married he got down to 215 (he doesn't remember being that weight but I remember him weighing in) and I think he probably could have still lost 15 lbs and not been too thin. (Thats not meant as a criticism, I just think he's never seen himself "in shape" so anything close to 200 sounds too low to him). I figure we will focus on the first goal and go from there.

And you're right , 230 will still feel good for him. He will fit into some of his old clothes. I know everyone says working with a date in mind is a bad idea but at the same time it's nice to have a goal and purpose in mind.

@Tacklewasher he and I just started the 21 day fix workouts together. They Incorporate body weight exercises and some dumbbell stuff (but not heavy weights) . Do you think that would work for muscle retention ? I would love if he would hit the gym with me because I want to try Stronglifts 5x5 and need a spotter , but he hates gyms. I think it's just too far outside his comfort zone and he feels too out of place. And we live in a small place overseas and have no room to have our own equipment at home. But he does have a mountain bike that he likes to ride so that can get him out and moving.
I think we will need to pick up some protein powder. 100 grams seems like a lot to hit.

Tacklewasher

I hear him on the gym. I've not joined one yet and am just doing dumbbell routines at home. But I don't think I'm actually doing enough and need to ramp that up. But I figure anything is better than nothing and I'm not going to be perfect at this, just trying to do better. I don't know anything about the 21 day fix, but I'm sure it is better than just picking up the remote to change channels.

100 g isn't that hard to hit. It does mean keeping an eye on it though. I only use powder if it looks like I'm not going to hit that as an average for the week.

phill_143

Azdak wrote: »

I like the fact that this is something you are doing together and it seems to be taking place within a very positive framework. If you can keep it that way, it will be an even more rewarding experience.

I agree - it's lovely that you'll be doing this together - and a great opportunity to add in some extra activities that you can do together...

jelleigh

phill_143 wrote: »

Azdak wrote: »

I like the fact that this is something you are doing together and it seems to be taking place within a very positive framework. If you can keep it that way, it will be an even more rewarding experience.

I agree - it's lovely that you'll be doing this together - and a great opportunity to add in some extra activities that you can do together...

Im really glad he's open to it now. And we are pretty fortunate actually. We spend pretty much all day every day together. Right now we are living oversees doing volunteer work so we spend all out time together. He's pretty good about being willing to go out and get moving but I think it's me that needs to adjust if I want to help him. He would be more than happy to go out for a walk, but he more wants to stroll and I want to power walk. Lol. I guess I feel like if I bothered to get out, I want to make it worth my while. But if I can calm myself a bit and just be happy that we are moving, then I might be able to encourage him a bit more too.

jelleigh

Tacklewasher wrote: »

I hear him on the gym. I've not joined one yet and am just doing dumbbell routines at home. But I don't think I'm actually doing enough and need to ramp that up. But I figure anything is better than nothing and I'm not going to be perfect at this, just trying to do better. I don't know anything about the 21 day fix, but I'm sure it is better than just picking up the remote to change channels.

100 g isn't that hard to hit. It does mean keeping an eye on it though. I only use powder if it looks like I'm not going to hit that as an average for the week.

Ya I hear you. I really did NOT hit the workout out of the park today but I just kept thinking "its more than I would have burnt sitting on my butt!".

I just looked at his diary and I guess he's been averaging 100 g of protein after all. The breakfast omelettes help a lot so I might keep making those. (just stinks for me cause I can't eat eggs so have to think up two things to make)

Great job on your loss so far @Tacklewasher ! You're the kind of guy my hubby (and me!) Find inspiring/encouraging. Can't wait to see your success story when you hit your goal!

Edit to fix typo

jelleigh

Tacklewasher wrote: »

Have him read http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10490435/what-rate-can-someone-lose-at where I basically asked the same question. I got some decent advice there that may be helpful.

I just looked at the post - I totally remember you! I remember thinking yup I get this guy - I'm a numbers junkie too! And how awesome is it that you surpassed your goal while losing that first while! I am still always looking at my #days signed in and lbs lost and then calculating to make sure I'm still averaging 1 lb per week.. I know it's not always going to be consistent but so far I've always been able to hit that goals. Im a little worried what happens to my motivation if my averages get skewed! Lol.

Tacklewasher

jelleigh wrote: »

I just looked at his diary and I guess he's been averaging 100 g of protein after all. The breakfast omelettes help a lot so I might keep making those. (just stinks for me cause I can't eat eggs so have to think up two things to make)

I hate eggs. Would make my life so much easier if I didn't. But I still cook them on weekends for my wife. Bacon for both of us, eggs for her and potatoes for me.

Just not this weekend as she is sick, I'm a bit under the weather so I just had leftover pizza both days.

Chadxx

It is a pretty aggressive goal but it is possible. He definitely needs to hit the gym, lift heavy, and get adequate protein. Most here will disagree as they tend to be pretty conservative and I do agree with those who say it is not a race and not to get caught up on time related goals but there are plenty of us who have done it. He will definitely have to slow that rate down though as he gets leaner. Large men who are active burn a lot of calories which is why it is easier for us to drop pounds.

lorrpb

220 is a great goal for him right now. Do all you can to support him to get there. When he gets there, he can decide if he wants to lose more.