Relationships

da1roo

While you're on your weight loss journey, do you think it's advisable to also be looking for a significant other? Why or why not?

RoxieDawn

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JukeboxHeroine

RoxieDawn wrote: »

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I would love to know what you said......

OP, why wait? Anyone who only loves you skinny isn't worth your time.

jennybearlv

Sure. I can't think of a reason why not. What is so special about losing weight? That's like saying someone can't date because they are working on a degree, up for a promotion, or training for a marathon. It's just another journey through life.

da1roo

The reason why I've posted this question is that in my personal experience, I've had a hard time dating and dieting at the same time. It could be just me.. just wanted to get other opinion

da1roo

What does OP stand for?

Gallowmere1984

Pfft, dating? I'm starting to think that it might be best for most to have as little human interaction as possible, period. Seems like 99 times of 100, when someone posts a "fell off the wagon" thread, it's somehow someone or something else's fault.

That said, I wouldn't go out of my way, but I wouldn't turn my nose up if a really good opportunity landed in my lap either. I didn't, and I regret nothing. My girlfriend is apparently the exact same kind of screwed up that I am, and we reconnected around the time I was starting to get my *kitten* together for the second time. She's been so absurdly supportive of my narcissistic obsession, that I'm starting to wonder if she has a life insurance policy on me that I don't know about.

Unknown

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andrea4736

You might as well learn how to do it now. Dating while maintaining isn't going to be a whole lot easier either at first. I think it's important, for those of us who really have to work at it to reach/maintain a healthy weight, to find someone who will be supportive of our efforts. Once you've got the mental part of weight loss processed, finding foods to eat at restaurants while dating isn't incredibly difficult. I go out at least once a week and I'm definitely not ordering a salad, lol. Just keep your focus and don't get all content and happy in love like I did and fall off the wagon .

Soccermavrick

da1roo wrote: »

The reason why I've posted this question is that in my personal experience, I've had a hard time dating and dieting at the same time. It could be just me.. just wanted to get other opinion

So when you date the diet goes out the window? I think that makes this sound like when you date, you will probably gain as well. To me that makes me sound like the changes you are making are temporary. I would think that what you want is a Lifestyle Change not a diet. And with a lifestyle change I would think that you want to find someone that supports that, not someone that does not care about you on that level. Just my two cents.

LVNF04

I guess it would depend on the person.
Was weight being a determined factor why you couldn't find someone?

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

da1roo wrote: »

The reason why I've posted this question is that in my personal experience, I've had a hard time dating and dieting at the same time. It could be just me.. just wanted to get other opinion

Why??? Dating & "dieting" are two completely different things. It doesn't matter whether you're single or dating, if you don't have the discipline to control your unhealthy lifestyle habits then you will gain everything back plus more. Only YOU have the power to do that & not the other person. TBH I don't like the word "dieting" because its false & very temporary. It should be a behavioral & lifestyle change, not a temporary fix to lose weight. Dieting = eating right foods in right amounts, must be done by everybody for health reasons & not just for weight loss.

If you're dining out, just stick to healthier foods w/ lower calories. Nowadays many restaurants offer healthy, low calorie meals on their menus. Stock whole foods at home so you won't be tempted to eat junk or processed food.

EDIT: Someone who is a keeper will be supportive to your journey in life including weight loss. If s/he doesn't care about your fitness goals & your other goals, then s/he isn't worth your time.

amtyrell

Life is for living. Yes flirt date have fun. We are trying to do something sustainable long term i know i want dating in my life . Now dinner and drinks well not as good an idea. So go dancing. Or walk around a museum. Or bowling. How about one of those paint nights. Basically some of the best dates are active dates so invite her (or him) out to do something fun. I know I would be more interested in a guy who came up with an active date rather then just food and alcohol.

FitLaughLove

I kinda agree with OP.. only because I have more confidence once I've shed a few pounds. Even though you all are right! Someone should seriously like you for you and not just your weight. I guess it's easier to be the real you when you're confident about how you look

breannemarie1993

I get where you're coming from. With dating comes dinners and eating out etc. If you can make healthier choices and have self control then why not. Speaking from experience, I always gained weight in the beginning of relationships because I had zero self control. It's a hard balance. If you can find someone who's in the same boat or enjoys cooking and eating healthy then do it!

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

FitLaughLove wrote: »

Someone should seriously like you for you and not just your weight. I guess it's easier to be the real you when you're confident about how you look

I agree, people who just like you for your looks, status or money aren't worthy of your love. Although some of us are into this journey for health reasons & its their reason they are more confident but sadly many of us, myself included, feel more confident when we lose weight not because we feel happy with ourselves but its because deep down we think "finally we are accepted by society, people will no longer comment on our weight" which isn't what confidence really is about. True confidence isn't measured with how you look but its how comfortable you are in your own skin regardless of your physical appearance or how other people think which is easier said than done. In fact many supermodels & fitness models are very insecure with themselves while I have also seen some overweight people who are confident in their own skin, can carry themselves well with confidence that people look up to them. Confidence, not strong or skinny, is sexy. Contrary to what we hear, we cannot fake it til you make it. It requires a total overhaul of our attitude which requires digging deep within us, loving & accepting our flaws. It is the key to having a real loving relationship, well if you don't love yourself then how can anyone love you right?

Unknown

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