Done hiding behind the pain!

MisfitPaws

[icky injury trigger warning]
I was out of work for over a year after moving across country but then last summer I got a job working for a farming company with machinery, backing up trucks and pulling samples and it was great. It was hard back breaking work but I was out in the fresh air and the weight I had put on began to naturally fall off. I lost 10 lbs quite fast but in August I was in a bad accident. I got pulled into and was pinned by the arm in a machine and ripped my wrist wide open. I became so depressed. I was in constant pain and having waking nightmares. I was lucky and I had an amazing specialist who put me back together but a lot of the damage is permanent, like the nerve damage in my fingers and elbow, and I just couldn't pull myself together. I ate and drank away the feelings and packed those 10 lbs back on fast.

I know this is super depressing but I don't really talk about what happened to me, I cover up my scars and try to hide from it but I don't want to do that anymore. I can't hide behind that pain anymore. I don't really know what happened, a few weeks ago I started thinking about people in wheelchairs playing sports and I thought what the D-uck is wrong with me? I don't want to live in a world of self pity and self loathing, I want to work hard to be the fit chick I used to be! I still have bad pain days but on the good days I have started searching for strength exercises that I can do with my limitations and the challenge is exciting!
I am currently 40 lbs overweight still and would love to make friends on here to push and support each other!

Rick_1953

MisfitPaws wrote: »

[icky injury trigger warning]
I was out of work for over a year after moving across country but then last summer I got a job working for a farming company with machinery, backing up trucks and pulling samples and it was great. It was hard back breaking work but I was out in the fresh air and the weight I had put on began to naturally fall off. I lost 10 lbs quite fast but in August I was in a bad accident. I got pulled into and was pinned by the arm in a machine and ripped my wrist wide open. I became so depressed. I was in constant pain and having waking nightmares. I was lucky and I had an amazing specialist who put me back together but a lot of the damage is permanent, like the nerve damage in my fingers and elbow, and I just couldn't pull myself together. I ate and drank away the feelings and packed those 10 lbs back on fast.

I know this is super depressing but I don't really talk about what happened to me, I cover up my scars and try to hide from it but I don't want to do that anymore. I can't hide behind that pain anymore. I don't really know what happened, a few weeks ago I started thinking about people in wheelchairs playing sports and I thought what the D-uck is wrong with me? I don't want to live in a world of self pity and self loathing, I want to work hard to be the fit chick I used to be! I still have bad pain days but on the good days I have started searching for strength exercises that I can do with my limitations and the challenge is exciting!
I am currently 40 lbs overweight still and would love to make friends on here to push and support each other!

@MisfitPaws I think it took a lot of courage to decide to stop hiding from your scares and pain. I would like to give you the support and encouragement you can use a long the way. Freind me if you like.
Rick

knittnponder

I think you've made a huge first step by acknowledging the issue and deciding to do something about it! I haven't suffered an injury like you have but I do understand chronic pain as I have fibromyalgia, IBS and endometriosis. There are days where I feel utterly hopeless, depressed and frustrated with how I feel but I have come a long way from where I was a few years ago. I will never be pain free but I've learned to manage most of it and changed my diet to support good health. I've decided that since I am always in pain that just means I'm quite the bada$$. I started kickboxing and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu after all the health junk started.

My most recent tattoo says "Fall down seven times, get back up eight..." It's my motto and having it right here on the inside of my forearm keeps it in front of my face. You can do this. You are stronger than you know.

smokinbluegrass

Good on ya.