Sibling Vent

MelissaL582

Happy Sunday! I hope you all don't mind me venting..it's really the only place I can besides talking to my husband. I don't know if any of you have a sibling who always doubts your weight loss but my sister always has. Granted she's never had kids and she's always been the smaller one of us. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister to death but since becoming adults..she's been known as the sister who has a good job, lots of money, knows "how to raise" kids (even though she only has a dog for a year and a half)..she's just one of those siblings. She asked the other day what we'd like to have for breakfast because we're staying at her house during our vacation. She plans on making these mini egg, bacon and cheese muffins. I explained to her that I'd usually have coffee with an egg and toast or toast with PB. Told her that I'd probably have one of the muffins and a coffee. Her reaction "that's it?" She's never had to lose the weight that I have or count calories. Her idea of losing weight is to just eat less, no exercise and not being worried about nutrition facts. I'm sure there are quite a few people who do this as well...but for someone like myself who's looking at everything and measuring..I can already see my vacation at her house becoming stressful.. I completely failed during our last vacation. I did so well before it but there was so much temptation. All of my hard work went out the window. I don't want that to happen again and plan on bringing my own snacks. This probably sounds wrong but I want to slap MY SUCCESS in everyone's face who doubted me. Is it natural for those to doubt you when they would see you lose weight off and on? This is why I'm pushing myself even more this time around. I want this so bad and I know I have to bust my *kitten* in order to be successful. -- Thank you for taking the time to read this.

MonkeyMel21

Anytime food comes up, just think about what's the best choice for your family, don't even bring up what you'll have. And then fit whatever it is in your goals when the time comes. If a calorie deficit is too hard to maintain on vacation then up it to maintenance levels. You'll probably have some water weight gain when you get home but that goes away. Sorry I don't have any advice about the sibling situation.

MelissaL582

MonkeyMel21 wrote: »

don't even bring up what you'll have.

After my conversation with my sister..I believe it's best to not bring up weightloss anymore with her.

__TMac__

Agreed. I have a sibling like this. On steroids. She always knows best, and gets enraged if I don't immediately drop my plan and take her advice.

I don't discuss it with her, and if she brings up anything regarding my physical appearance (good or bad), I pretend I didn't hear it, change the subject or leave the room. Frankly, I also dodge seeing her until it's absolutely unavoidable. She's coming home for the holidays this year, so I'm considering packing up the family for a beach vacation.

Whit_88

I feel you. I didn't get this reaction from my sister, she and I have both always struggled with weight so she understands the things that need to happen to lose it. But I have had family members get very aggravated with me when I'm counting calories and measuring things. Like my counting calories is a massive inconvenience to them or their day. I've been told more than a handful of times that I don't need to count calories I just need to "Put down the fork" or that I just need to stop eating so much. Well duh. That's why im counting the calories. Some people just don't get it.

Do you. Stay strong and positive. You know this works, and unless you ask her for her opinion about your diet/workout routine then you don't have to take any of her advice and you sure as hell don't owe her an explanation.

jemhh

Yep, it's best just not to discuss it.

My sister doesn't say anything about how I eat but I think her diet is insane and makes weight loss way more complicated than necessary. I just hold my tongue and talk about other things.

Windrunner666

I don't know her personally, but I don't think she meant to doubt you. Shr's not fammiliar in weighoss and measuring so why don't you try and explain it to her, what and how are you going to do it. It may start interesting conversation. Don't just be silent and think of the ways she's plotting begind you back, etc,trust me, I had doubts like this too about my family, hiw they were all undermining me just because they bought me chocholate etc. Don't give that thought power like it and din't shift responcibility to them. So what? She's ignorant about a lot of issues you had to deal with, and sometimes comes off as unsensitive.Give it a try, and if she persists on 'mocking' you, mock her back. I can bet she has a lot to hide too

Windrunner666

Whit_88 wrote: »

I feel you. I didn't get this reaction from my sister, she and I have both always struggled with weight so she understands the things that need to happen to lose it. But I have had family members get very aggravated with me when I'm counting calories and measuring things. Like my counting calories is a massive inconvenience to them or their day. I've been told more than a handful of times that I don't need to count calories I just need to "Put down the fork" or that I just need to stop eating so much. Well duh. That's why im counting the calories. Some people just don't get it.

Do you. Stay strong and positive. You know this works, and unless you ask her for her opinion about your diet/workout routine then you don't have to take any of her advice and you sure as hell don't owe her an explanation.

I see. Well tell them it's their 'diet' that got you there. And If they still want to mock you about your 'rituals' before eating, find something they don't want to hear and mock them in return. Maybe I'm evil but that worked out for me.

ninerbuff

Being honest works best, IMO. If she asks "that's it?" you say "yep. I can't eat as much a you and lose weight. Sorry, I'm not as lucky as you are." That usually shuts the conversation down.


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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition