Day 1 of my weight loss journey.

ahughes5587
ahughes5587 Posts: 14 Member
in Introduce Yourself
It took me while to get the courage to take these pictures. I hate looking at my body knowing how fit I used to be. When I go into the bathroom, I make sure I don’t look in the mirror. I can’t even look people in the eyes when I talk to them because I’m so ashamed of what I’ve become. Friends always want to hang out but I make excuses so they won’t see me. Could’ve been in relationships, but because of how I feel about myself I avoid them. Army career could’ve been much longer if it wasn’t for my weight gain after coming back from Haiti and Afghanistan. PTSD, Alcoholism and anxiety. Alcohol is the only thing that helped with the pain. I would wake up and go straight to the liquor store. Get drunk, pass out and wake up to drink again. I tried to deal with my problems on my own. I was stubborn and didn’t want to ask for help. I just hid in my apartment all day. Signed up at my local college for classes. That didn’t last long. I got anxiety attacks thinking about having to leave my apartment. Then sitting in a class around a bunch of people I didn’t know, wouldn’t work at all. Tried working. The longest job I’ve had since getting out of the military was 2 months long. I actually liked that job, but my PTSD messed it up and had to work 12 hour shifts five days a week.

I walked in the bathroom a week ago and looked at myself. I was not happy with what I saw and decided it was time to make the changes for me to be happy. I’m here now and am ready to take on the challenge. Feel free to contact me and become friends. We can all do this together. We can all use the motivation. Lets Do It!

Replies

  • suruda
    suruda Posts: 1,233 Member
    Welcome to MFP! I wish you well on your journey to a better, healthier you! I know very little about PTSD but hope you are working to get the help you need to deal with it.

    Thank you for your service...I probably should have led with that! I'm humbled by those of you who serve!

    You can totally become the fit guy you once were...the journey is in your hands!
  • ahughes5587
    ahughes5587 Posts: 14 Member
    Thank you ma'am.
  • smokinbluegrass
    smokinbluegrass Posts: 126 Member
    Bravo Zulu, brother. Navy, here. Been out nearly 30 years. PTSD, but no hot combat. Different times. Cold War. Hunted subs. PTSD from other stuff. Looks like we've been eating the same soup sandwich, man. A ton of what you said and described feeling is straight-up me, too. It sucks to be invisible to yourself. You've just inspired me to finally take my pics. And post 'em, too.

    Been on here since Friday. Starting with losing 75 and will see how I feel after that.

    I'm a chick, but happy to have your 6 if you want.
  • vickyrose94
    vickyrose94 Posts: 39 Member
    Thank you for your service and welcome to MFP! I wish you luck with your weight loss journey, you can definitely add me and we can cheer eachother on! I was feeling the same way before starting my weight loss journey. So uncomfortable with my weight that I became antisocial and didn't want to go back to my home town because I gained over 50lbs. Lost 25 since then, have over half to go! We got this!
  • ahughes5587
    ahughes5587 Posts: 14 Member
    Glad that you're going to take your pictures. That was the hardest part for me. I feel much better now that I've taken them and posted them on here.
  • crackpotbaby
    crackpotbaby Posts: 1,297 Member
    You should be massively proud for taking the time to acknowledge where you're at and taking the first steps to change.

    I have PTSD as well, not from combat but from a series of rapes and sexual assaults. It can be debilitating but it is possible to move forward and get your life back.

    I find exercise helps more than I can articulate (not always when I'm actually doing it, but regular exercise as an ongoing part of my lifestyle).

    Good luck on this recovery journey, mate.
  • ahughes5587
    ahughes5587 Posts: 14 Member
    Lizery- Thank you for the kind words. I know our PTSD isn't the same, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.
  • ahughes5587
    ahughes5587 Posts: 14 Member
    Vicky- Congratulations on the loss so far.
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
    Welcome to MFP! That's a very brave first step you've taken. Keep that attitude and you will definitely be successful.

    Some day in the not-too-distant future, these are going to be your "Before" pictures. <3
  • ahughes5587
    ahughes5587 Posts: 14 Member
    @snickerscharlie thanks for the inspirational words.
  • gilesjenniferlynn
    gilesjenniferlynn Posts: 6 Member
    First and foremost, thank you sincerely for your service! Today is also Day 1 on this app for me. I received your comment on my post, but wasn't sure how to tag you to reply, and I also received your request. When I tried to accept it though I got an error code? Maybe I can get this all figured out. Lol Good luck to you as the walk begins friend. ;)
  • Champion2018
    Champion2018 Posts: 2 Member
    Hi,

    I am always impressed and inspired when I see people with extra weight working out, bc it is literally extra baggage. I find it's impossible to get a good workout in if I'm thinking negative things about my body. Even if you have to lie to yourself to complete your workout do it and imagine the body you will have as what is there. Love yourself as you workout and it might be fun. :smile:
  • prittiZ
    prittiZ Posts: 11 Member
    Welcome to MFP, and thank you for being so open and sharing your pain and weakness, it is inspiring. I too joined yesterday but unlike you I do not have the courage to take pictures. Who knows maybe eventually I will get to that place. You have taken the first step. Hang in there, you are amongst friends :smile:
  • Lavelle1980
    Lavelle1980 Posts: 367 Member
    Incredible testimony and now you will have an incredible journey up ahead. You have already made the decision to say in your mind "enough is enough". I look forward to seeing your journey of success and happiness down this road.

    You are welcome to add me.
  • Omar_Apocrypha
    Omar_Apocrypha Posts: 794 Member
    in the 1st 15 days you will suffering then you will enjoy , welcome to mfp
  • mamaslyfe
    mamaslyfe Posts: 4 Member
    Congratulations! I still havent taken pictures, i hate even seeing myself now.... so i know how it feels... also thank you for your service, with dedication and hard work we can all achieve anything, its just life gets in the way ALOT...i send wishes of encouragement and strength to help you be where you will feel good again!
  • michelleRKdavidson
    michelleRKdavidson Posts: 18 Member
    Thank you for your service to our nation! Being in the military takes a strong mind as well as a strong body! Try to use that mental toughness that you know you have deep inside to conquer each day! I am also just starting my weight loss journey as well you can certainly add me as a friend. Good Luck and have a blessed day!

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