Needing fitness but I'm scared

lizzyrn24

Hey, probably weird but I suffered from an eating disorder for years and now I want to lose a little bit of weight and get my fitness up. I'm really scared it's going to get out of hand again even though I'm virtually recovered- does anyone know anything that could help avoid this?

LonsyBoy

Hey there! Fitness and gym cured my Bulimia Nervosia (Automatic Purge Symptoms).
In my sight it helps focus on eating and what you're body and mind will allow to help reach a goal rather than second guessing everything you eat or plan to eat. Takes away that nasty black cloud of all food is evil. but every condition is totally different and everyone reacts differently. Keep me updated on how you feel and move along with it

GemstoneofHeart

One of my best friends is bulimic and I used to be a binge eater.
I am so glad you are recovered, however it often times is a lifelong struggle that people will deal with.
Have you considered seeking counseling as you begin a weight loss journey so that you will have a safe place to get help if things start getting out of hand?

marie9910

I've dealt with both anorexia and bulimia. Once I recovered I maintained a healthy weight for over a year, but after a traumatic event a little over a year ago I lost my grip on my healthy habits and gained a lot of weight. Now I'm back on track after a few relapses and for me the key things are patience and setting reasonable goals. I'm not going to be able to lose 10-15 lbs a month and sustain it. But 5 lbs I can do without stressing out if I eat too much pizza one night. Set a reasonable goal and give yourself enough time to achieve it. You can add me if you'd like!

antinomiancelestial

@lizzyrn - I'm in a similar position myself. What I have found helpful is being open and honest with other people about what I am doing and why I am doing it. The eating disorder involved a lot of secrecy - secret eating, secret calorie restriction, secret exercising, secret trips to pro-ana sites, etc. The more honest I am with myself and with others about what I'm doing and why, the better. The one downside to this approach is that it has opened me up to some criticism from a friend who is kind of anti-dieting. Still...it's better than all the hiding/manipulating I used to do in order to starve myself without friends noticing.

lizzyrn24

Thank you all so much that's all really helpful

kenyonhaff

lizzyrn24 wrote: »

Hey, probably weird but I suffered from an eating disorder for years and now I want to lose a little bit of weight and get my fitness up. I'm really scared it's going to get out of hand again even though I'm virtually recovered- does anyone know anything that could help avoid this?

Do you currently have counselling? He or she can help structure your plan to keep you on the "middle path".
I'd recommend a personal trainer to be accountable to, in order to keep you grounded on what you should do.

KeepRunningFatboy

Yes, ive been there. Could you exercise but stay away from weighing yourself? And if calorie counting is a trigger, I would also avoid that.

crisping16

Okay so, I'm also in recovery and attempting to improve my fitness, so I can tell you what's worked for me and what hasn't.

First, other people have said this but it is so very important. Avoid your triggers. I can't emphasize that enough. For me, calorie counting is a huge trigger. Because of this, I keep my food diary private and simply do not log my food at all. Counting calories is not a sustainable healthy option for me, so I simply refuse to do it.

Honesty with yourself and others has, again, already been mentioned, but it is very important. Sit down and examine your motivations. Be very critical and honest with yourself about what you want. If it looks like a revisit to ED behaviors, then you need to take a step back and readjust. Don't go into something knowing that it's toeing the line. When I was in the full-on throes of my eating disorder, I had very specific end-goal desires. It took a lot of work to reorient my train of thought to something more healthy.

Avoid pro-ana/mia sites. If you're a tumblr user, don't go to 'fitblrs' at all. That is pretty much the gateway to eating disorder hell.

Avoid things like before and after photos. Make the focus less about fulfilling a physical ideal and more about your health and how you feel. Attempt to commit to loving yourself at every stage.

Counseling and treatment are always a good idea. Sometimes it takes a minute to find a good counselor, but once you do that relationship is golden and so helpful.

If you're someone who weighed yourself constantly (I would often weigh my self 10+ times a day), make a very firm rule that you either don't weigh yourself at all, or only weigh yourself on a set schedule, such as once a week or every two weeks. This really depends on what triggers you and what stage of recovery you're in. There were like two years where I couldn't even have scales in my house because I could not stand the idea of not weighing myself.

Finally, don't be afraid to reach out. If you need help, please get it. Recovery is not a linear process and relapses happen. The most important thing is knowing when to ask for help and when to step away.

If you want, you can add me as a friend. I'm always here if you need to talk.

jitteryladybug

I would be hesitant to calorie count, recovering from an ED. However if you are confident that this wouldn't be a trigger, I would suggest looking up your TDEE and aiming for having a very small deficit, so that you are aiming for VERY slow loss of weight. If you don't have much to lose, especially, this is the healthiest way to do it.

My other thought is to ask you if you are sure that you want to lose weight, or if it may still be disjointed thinking related to the sneaky thoughts that surface from an ED mindset. Hear me out: Maybe you don't need to *lose* weight, maybe your focus could be fitness and muscle tone and body-building? Women can't easily bulk up when weight lifting, it's really tough to get big muscles because we lack the amount of testosterone that makes that so easy for guys. When we train with weights we tend to just start really shaping our bodies.

I would suggest to you to focus on nutrition (maybe be mindful of your macros but skip the calorie counting) and aim at first to just maintain your current weight, and build muscle. Muscle is denser than fat, so as you start gaining muscle and shedding fat, you may see the same number on your scale, and that's okay! I'm sometimes surprised when I've been working out and can *SEE* in the mirror that my abs are more toned, that my belly has shrank, and my legs are looking tighter, and my clothes obviously fit differently, and I weigh the exact same amount as before, or even more!! Numbers are not representative of your health or your beauty.
I just wanted to give you a few thoughts to ponder as you ask yourself what your goals are. Is it to look smaller, or is it to look fit and feel strong? Do you want to be able to run a mile and not be winded? Do you want to be able to do a pull up, or rock climb, or bike up a mountain? Do activities that are fun for you, eat what tastes good and nourishes you, and focus on your mental and emotional health as much as your physical health. You can do this.

Last thing- depending on how long you struggled with an ED you can have lifelong issues from it. Especially with bone density. Focusing now, while you are still young, on getting a healthy body, strong muscles, and good eating habits will help you in the long run, to keep you from being frail before you're elderly.
I'm sending you calming supporting and healthy thoughts, and wish you the best in your health and fitness goals.