Advise...

str8bowbabe

I am looking for ways to motivate my other half. I was recently found out that I have high cholesterol. My husband also has high cholesterol and is also currently on statins. My doctor said if I can control my cholesterol by my diet that no pills for me. I want that. I do not want to have to take pills for the rest of my life. Anyway, I am trying to help both of us in the process but it just seems he has this attitude that because he takes statins he doesn't care about eating better. I am worried he will have a heart attack or a stroke. He loves burgers, pizza, stroms etc. I am trying my best to continue this life change for a healthier life. We have a 10 month old that currently depends on us so I feel we need to do this for us as well as her. It seems when I bring up subbing a healthier food for one of his current favs, it is just one big fight. Any suggestions on how to bring this up or how to sub things to help the both of us?

Katiebear_81

Just take care of yourself. Your husband is a grown man, and can make his own decisions. If you've expressed to him your concerns and he just doesn't give a crap... you can't make him.

Take care of yourself and your daughter. Cook the foods you want to eat, and let him supplement his diet how he see's fit.

dramaqueen45

My husband kept talking about wanting to lose 20-30 pounds- literally talked about it for years. Finally he joined a gym and thought he could just exercise off the extra weight and do nothing else. Well he did lose about 10 pounds pretty quickly but then stopped. After I hit my goal he looked at me and said, "What you're doing seems to be working" and he is now down another 30 pounds and has 10 to reach his goal. Just lead by example. Oh and I also was on a statin for high cholesterol but no more! Maybe he would just like to save the money on prescriptions each month? I know that's a bonus. And you might try subbing out healthier options in recipes (if you're the one that cooks) without even telling him-he probably won't even notice it.

caroldavison332

Take a photo of yourself at your recent fatness and plan a chart of your current weight and weigh yourself every Monday and make a little ticket mark for every pound you loose. Post new photos next to the original every month and you won't have to say a word.

str8bowbabe

dramaqueen45 wrote: »

My husband kept talking about wanting to lose 20-30 pounds- literally talked about it for years. Finally he joined a gym and thought he could just exercise off the extra weight and do nothing else. Well he did lose about 10 pounds pretty quickly but then stopped. After I hit my goal he looked at me and said, "What you're doing seems to be working" and he is now down another 30 pounds and has 10 to reach his goal. Just lead by example. Oh and I also was on a statin for high cholesterol but no more! Maybe he would just like to save the money on prescriptions each month? I know that's a bonus. And you might try subbing out healthier options in recipes (if you're the one that cooks) without even telling him-he probably won't even notice it.

haha ok I am a little sneaky with the cooking...I no longer put butter in certain things. He doesn't know the difference.

str8bowbabe

caroldavison332 wrote: »

Take a photo of yourself at your recent fatness and plan a chart of your current weight and weigh yourself every Monday and make a little ticket mark for every pound you loose. Post new photos next to the original every month and you won't have to say a word.

I love this idea if for no other reason than support of myself.

bwogilvie

You can't really change another person; they have to want to change. You can offer choices, but be prepared to have them refused. If you're cooking, you can follow @dramaqueen45's advice and substitute some lighter ingredients, or cut back on the calorie-heavy ones (I usually use a lot less oil than recipes call for). Or you can make something you want, and if he wants something else, you can tell him to make it.

You could also try framing it in terms of eating a bigger variety of foods, so that your daughter doesn't grow up to be a picky eater. (Some kids will anyway, but it helps to expose them to a range of foods.) You could try learning to cook Indian food, or explore the Mediterranean diets; those tend to have a lot of flavor but also to have less meat and animal fat and more vegetables and legumes. Don't tell him that the food is healthy, just that it's tasty and new. I'm making a lamb and bean soup tonight; the lamb and spices provide flavor, while vegetables, beans, and potatoes provide a lot of the protein, fiber, and nutrients. (It's this recipe, if you want to try it.)

Finally, some men will listen to a doctor's advice. If his doctor told him that he should change his diet in addition to taking statins, would that make a difference?

str8bowbabe

bwogilvie wrote: »

You can't really change another person; they have to want to change. You can offer choices, but be prepared to have them refused. If you're cooking, you can follow @dramaqueen45's advice and substitute some lighter ingredients, or cut back on the calorie-heavy ones (I usually use a lot less oil than recipes call for). Or you can make something you want, and if he wants something else, you can tell him to make it.

You could also try framing it in terms of eating a bigger variety of foods, so that your daughter doesn't grow up to be a picky eater. (Some kids will anyway, but it helps to expose them to a range of foods.) You could try learning to cook Indian food, or explore the Mediterranean diets; those tend to have a lot of flavor but also to have less meat and animal fat and more vegetables and legumes. Don't tell him that the food is healthy, just that it's tasty and new. I'm making a lamb and bean soup tonight; the lamb and spices provide flavor, while vegetables, beans, and potatoes provide a lot of the protein, fiber, and nutrients. (It's this recipe, if you want to try it.)

I guess I need to clarify. I am not trying to change him. I am trying to change my habits but it affects both of us so I want his approval as well. I don't know if that even makes sense. I guess I could just do my thing and keep it healthy for the baby and just continue to pray that nothing happens.

samuelgina91

str8bowbabe wrote: »

bwogilvie wrote: »

You can't really change another person; they have to want to change. You can offer choices, but be prepared to have them refused. If you're cooking, you can follow @dramaqueen45's advice and substitute some lighter ingredients, or cut back on the calorie-heavy ones (I usually use a lot less oil than recipes call for). Or you can make something you want, and if he wants something else, you can tell him to make it.

You could also try framing it in terms of eating a bigger variety of foods, so that your daughter doesn't grow up to be a picky eater. (Some kids will anyway, but it helps to expose them to a range of foods.) You could try learning to cook Indian food, or explore the Mediterranean diets; those tend to have a lot of flavor but also to have less meat and animal fat and more vegetables and legumes. Don't tell him that the food is healthy, just that it's tasty and new. I'm making a lamb and bean soup tonight; the lamb and spices provide flavor, while vegetables, beans, and potatoes provide a lot of the protein, fiber, and nutrients. (It's this recipe, if you want to try it.)

I guess I need to clarify. I am not trying to change him. I am trying to change my habits but it affects both of us so I want his approval as well. I don't know if that even makes sense. I guess I could just do my thing and keep it healthy for the baby and just continue to pray that nothing happens.

Prayer is good, but as a person who grew up with an unhealthy parental figure (he was diagnosed with diabetes when I was 2, and mom later at 10,, then older sister now) an unhealthy habit is contagious and slow in onset. Worse it will be seen everyday by your little one. And I get you want his approval but if those habits don't change now it is going to be your daughter that suffers in the long run when she isn't even 20 but dealing with things that she can't deal with in any aspect until she is older because she will be seeing a sick parent (who will have a host of other medical problems). Be the parent and the adult, do the hardest thing you can and try. Make sure his habits don't rub off on you, and set the best example you can for your daughter so that she knows that taking care of herself and her body is so important and it doesn't come secondary to anything else. This is so harsh and I am sorry for that but it hits close to home. If you don't want to follow my advice hang it, it isn't important but I thought I offered a unique perspective on the situation.

malibu927

He has to want it. If he doesn't, just take care of yourself.

zdyb23456

I would just cook healthy meals and invite him to workout with me. Then let the chips fall where they may. You can't force him to do anything.

sijomial

Maybe he would do it for your baby if he won't do it for himself?

Sit him down and have a serious chat about life insurance.
Point out that you have doubts that he will have a long and healthy life and you need to provide for your child in the future in case he can't.

Move the fight away from you versus him and get on the same side - healthy parents bringing up a healthy child by setting good examples.

tulips_and_tea

str8bowbabe wrote: »

bwogilvie wrote: »

You can't really change another person; they have to want to change. You can offer choices, but be prepared to have them refused. If you're cooking, you can follow @dramaqueen45's advice and substitute some lighter ingredients, or cut back on the calorie-heavy ones (I usually use a lot less oil than recipes call for). Or you can make something you want, and if he wants something else, you can tell him to make it.

You could also try framing it in terms of eating a bigger variety of foods, so that your daughter doesn't grow up to be a picky eater. (Some kids will anyway, but it helps to expose them to a range of foods.) You could try learning to cook Indian food, or explore the Mediterranean diets; those tend to have a lot of flavor but also to have less meat and animal fat and more vegetables and legumes. Don't tell him that the food is healthy, just that it's tasty and new. I'm making a lamb and bean soup tonight; the lamb and spices provide flavor, while vegetables, beans, and potatoes provide a lot of the protein, fiber, and nutrients. (It's this recipe, if you want to try it.)

I guess I need to clarify. I am not trying to change him. I am trying to change my habits but it affects both of us so I want his approval as well. I don't know if that even makes sense. I guess I could just do my thing and keep it healthy for the baby and just continue to pray that nothing happens.

I get what you mean, but keep in mind that life is uncertain in many ways. I'm not trying to be negative or scare you, but we can lose someone we love at any moment in time due to accident, illness, etc. Even if your husband was on the same page with you and got healthy there's no guarantees in life so you each need to have a plan in case something should happen since you have a dependent child.

Other than that, I echo what everyone else has said: take care of your health, set an example for your daughter and see what happens.

tulips_and_tea

Hmmm, not sure why the quoting is weird.

scrapbookingtm

Very common mistake made by people who take cholesterol meds. check out the advice
everydayhealth.com/high-cholesterol/treatment/common-cholesterol-mistakes/
Mistake 4. Eat whatever you want. Taking statins doesn't mean you can ignore advice about a cholesterol-lowering diet, stresses Michos. Many people wrongly believe their medication will undo any cholesterol overload, regardless of what they eat.
Even while you're on medication, watch your calorie intake in addition to the fats and carbohydrates that could be contributing to unhealthy cholesterol levels. Do indulge in cholesterol-lowering foods like beans, fiber-rich apples, and whole grains.

VeryKatie

Do you do the cooking? If so, just make the subs you want. You don't need his permission. He can the choose if he will eat it or not. No point in fighting about it. If he does the cooking, you can either take over or just cook for yourself.

str8bowbabe

I have talked to him about insurance, how we need to be around for her, etc. We share the cooking duties so I do sub things when I am cooking and if he cooks and it isn't something I think I should eat, I don't. I know that at any moment could be our last together. That is life. I am not unrealistic about that. Trust me. I am all to aware of how someone can be gone in a second. I have asked him to work out with me. He used to. We used to go to the gym together but we work different shifts so it is really hard. I guess I just work on doing my thing.