Comfort eating when things go wrong in life...

TigerLily100

Hey all,

I have a problem of comfort eating when life throws problems at me.

I am pretty good normally on eating healthy and exercising for fitness - well I have been since starting this journey beginning of January.

My only problem seems to be just throwing the towel in when things go wrong or get difficult in life.

I walked out of the gym tonight after half hour because I just couldn't be arsed with my mind being else where, and then proceeded to grab a taweaway, drink JD and feel generally miserable.

A one off I can let go but it's becoming all too regular. I have a very problematic 15 year old daughter that could test the patience of a saint and I am pissed with myself that I use food to cope. Years ago it was smoking so it could be worse!

I have to re train this brain of mine, I just don't know how to......apart from burying the child beneath the patio that is

Oh and folks.....that was just a joke.......I think!

usmcmp

I had to find a replacement for comfort eating. I exercise, take the dog for a walk, read a book, or play video games with my kids. I tried taking a drive a few times in the beginning, but I ended up at Jack in the Box

Maybe you can find an activity for the 15 year old and yourself to do? Join a kickboxing class together? She gets her frustrations out in a positive manner and you both end up worn out in the end.

Need2Exerc1se

I think this is a very common problem. My suggestion would be to deal with the real issue - how you deal with stress - rather than just counting calories and being good when things are going well.

Stress management is so important and so few people even address it. Manage the stress and emotional eating will not be such a problem.

nickiphillips1

I have been struggling with this my entire life. It wasn't until recently that I have been able to overcome this. I still could break, but I am on the right path for now.
I agree that you need to find someone to talk to and find a different way to deal with your stress. It is different for everyone.

I have completely given up sugar and am just not eating it at all. I am eating a clean diet (mostly vegetables, some fruit, fish, some spices to take care of my inflammation, some whole grains).

I am throwing myself into swimming and prayer. I have a few other things I do if it gets really bad.
The bottom line of not eating sugar gives me no choice but to not go there when I get stressed or feel bad. I don't eat a few cups of kale when I am stressed (blech).

I have had some very difficult times with one of my children and he went to residential treatment 5 years ago. I actually got diagnosed with MS right after he went into treatment.

Please find a positive way to deal with your stress. Find some good partners (doctor, therapist, someone from church, friends, exercise, activity).

Good luck.

__TMac__

I used to eat. Now I exercise. Hard. It works much better than food.

And kids are total pains in the butt sometimes.

brznhabits

I second Need2Exercise, address the root cause.

I'm a big believer in seeing professionals. If my foot hurts I go to the dr. If my tool set is lean I see a psychologist or life coach. Find a group, see a professional, they can help you with new "tools". Sometimes the right professional growth book will teach me a new tool (or remind me of an old one) but yours sounds like you might need more than a book to get started

Habits are hard to break though so here's another option for better not perfect. I often exchange bad food for better food. The good news is that the more healthy food I eat the more healthy food I crave. My best example: Mac n Cheese is no longer my comfort food, Farro is now.

Also, maybe when it happens try to only take a step off that wagon and not fall completely off. Not being able to finish at the gym is ok, maybe skip the takeaway though. Or vice versa, you really want that takeaway then that should be the reward after a full gym session.

leanjogreen18

Change the narrative in your head.

Life sucks but I won't make it worse by overeating. I'm having a stressful day so I will eat at maintenance today or hit the gym harder or go for a walk.

Only you can change the habit and make a new habit when stressed.

I'm going through a stressful situation right now too.

And these strategies are working so far:).

ds41980

I don't know....In the past I have used food to cope with stress. My sister still does. I have lost about 35 pounds sticking to a CICO system for the past 8 months. A couple of weeks ago I was stressing out so much and felt like I was getting no help and had no one to talk to. I had an eating day. I ate a bunch of crunchy stuff because I was mad and angry and hurt. I knew what I was doing. The next day I was back on track. I told myself it was going to be just the one day...until midnight. Is it possible to give yourself permission for the one day only? Or to give yourself permission to eat at maintenance for a period of time, until you can find a way to continue. I am sorry but speaking for myself, I needed to calm myself down that day, and I know there are other things I can do, and have done but when it gets to be too much I just might eat something crunchy and I don't want to feel bad about that.

kimny72

As some other people have mentioned, you need to find a replacement coping mechanism. Just saying "I'm not going to comfort eat when I get stressed" is nice, but when you're stressed you are on automatic pilot. You need to purposefully decide to do something else when you are clear-headed, and find a way to remind yourself to use the replacement behavior when the time comes.

In other words, it's way easier to replace a bad habit with a not-so-bad habit than it is to just stop the habit altogether. It's actually how our brains work.

Also what @ds41980 said, if feeling guilty you turned to food is causing you to pile guilt food on top of the comfort food, sometimes it's okay to give yourself permission for a small splurge that won't do too much damage rather than a large I Give Up splurge that can spiral out of control.

Anyway, it's easy for me to type that, not so easy to do, but I hope that helps. Good luck!

Lizzy622

Have you tried making your daughter part of you exercise routine? My son and I walked together quite a bit and talked. I found out many things that he just didn't discuss at the dinner table or in front of my husband. Sometimes a good long walk and talk can help both of you understand each other.

Francl27

Honestly? I still do it... but you have to remember how it's really not comforting at all afterwards because you just feel guilty for eating on top of whatever's already on your mind... really not worth it if you take 2 minutes to think about it, you know?

Honestly though, when I do that, I just go for a long walk after to burn the calories off at that point... and that usually makes me feel a bit better.

LessCookiess

Emotional eating is definitely a struggle for a lot of people I understand completely. Have you spoken with a health professional about this? A therapist might be a good option.

fitmom4lifemfp

TigerLily100 wrote: »

Hey all,

I have a problem of comfort eating when life throws problems at me.

I am pretty good normally on eating healthy and exercising for fitness - well I have been since starting this journey beginning of January.

My only problem seems to be just throwing the towel in when things go wrong or get difficult in life.

I walked out of the gym tonight after half hour because I just couldn't be arsed with my mind being else where, and then proceeded to grab a taweaway, drink JD and feel generally miserable.

A one off I can let go but it's becoming all too regular. I have a very problematic 15 year old daughter that could test the patience of a saint and I am pissed with myself that I use food to cope. Years ago it was smoking so it could be worse!

I have to re train this brain of mine, I just don't know how to......apart from burying the child beneath the patio that is

Oh and folks.....that was just a joke.......I think!

I do exactly the opposite. I have absolutely no appetite when *kitten* hits the fan.

brightresolve

I hear you; today very stressed and sad about some issues and distance with my 21 yo daughter, and I came to the boards intending to post and YOU ALREADY HAD, @TigerLily100 ... Please know you're not alone, I am struggling with this too. Today I am forgiving myself for not being even 50% at work, planning to run with my guy after 5, and staying away from the vending machines. It's a one day at a time thing.

Sometimes exactly the thing I resist when extremely stressed ("I don't want to ---- It won't help") is exactly the thing that WILL help, if I am open and honest. (writing, journaling, walking, running, a few yoga poses, a cup of tea, talking about what I don't want to, setting up a counseling appointment, reciting a mantra or affirmation, seeking spiritual help, looking at dog and cat videos lol)

Good luck and a hug, and congrats on your progress so far -

AnnPT77

One of the things that helps me to replace a dysfunctional habit with a less dysfunctional one: After an incident I think about the triggers, brainstorm some alternate ways I could've handled it, and pick one to try next time. Then I write a little script and rehearse it in my head a few times (i.e., imagine the scenario going differently) so it starts to get grooved in mentally.

Then I just drop the line of thought - no guilt or drama. Next incidence, I try to run the new script. If it fails, I re-analyze, maybe pick a different strategy, maybe figure out how to reinforce the first one better. Rinse'n'repeat - usually, eventually something sticks. (I'm still struggling with potlucks & buffets, though ).

I've been told that a regular meditation practice helps some people with things like this, by sort of letting them create a space between an event and their reaction to it, where they can exercise better choices. I can't independently confirm that from experience, though.

TigerLily100

Thanks for all the replies folks.

In a better place this week, the damage isn't too bad as I only gained back 0.5lb.

I know many mentioned professional help etc. for my daughter, this is already in place and is slowly making a difference. We also have a joint gym membership........works great when she turns up as I think it does her great having something physical to work towards, feel good factor etc.

I am going to try out a few coping mechanisms suggested to try and not to turn to food for comfort, definitely some good ideas and advise within the above replies.

The one thing I have definitely moved on from in previous years, I no longer allow a bad week to become the excuse to give up completely - so that's a huge step forward for me.

zyxst

I still comfort/emotionally eat, though I generally replace the higher calorie foods with lower calories ones (I'm on a flavored rice cake kick this year). I can replace the eating with a lot of other things, but sometimes I have to eat to release the stress as nothing else is working.

LivingtheLeanDream

Its the opposite for me, when life throws me lemons I just can't eat.

Possibly the best thing is to just keep tracking the calorie intake so you are aware when you do comfort eat and see if that helps keep you from overdoing it too much.

wendypark811

Hello,

I feel for you. I have 33/32yr children one still lives at home. But the one left still drives me crazy. However the lives at home refuses to help at all, for example she won't eat beef while my husband won't eat chicken, they both wanted roast dinner. My daughter came down stairs while I was prepping the veg etc gave me a list of what she wanted and walked off. My husband watched while I was doing it moaning at me not sitting down.
I put their tea on a plate and then walked out to go to the gym so I was not even eating (mine went in slow cooker for after the gym). On return from gym while finishing my tea made them custard to go with the apple pie.
That is just an example there are days when I get a text from her asking what is for tea or will I put something in the oven.
My husband expects his meal before I go to the gym and I tried to to go different times of the day but it did not work so evening is best to work in with them.
Yes there are times when I stress eat, pick etc there is always bisc cakes chocolate in the house. But most times keep busy just think it won't change , do I really want to cause an arguement that will go on all day cause more stress.

Good luck
Wendy

cbelc2

So either find something else to comfort you or choose different comfort food. Plain fat free yogurt with some dry crispy brown rice cereal and unsweetened cherries tastes like cheesecake. Try a journal, coloring book, walk in the woods or shopping trip. Call a friend.