Heart broken
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She is divorcing me , I'm really struggling with this whole thing0
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Sorry to hear that you are in so much pain. Even in the worst relationships there are usually some positives, but when the negatives outweigh the positives it is time to move on. Big changes are always difficult and it hurts to lose the good parts even when you know it is the right thing to do. Be kind to yourself, give yourself time to grieve over it, and know that it will get easier with time.11
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@sbrandt37 nailed it.
It's OK to lean on your friends in times like these--actually, it's times like these are when people show you who they really are, so be ready. Allow any chaff to fall away: they weren't truly serving any purpose, anyway.
Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel, though remember to take care of yourself. Remember to eat, to breathe.
Immerse yourself in music. Five Finger Death Punch and Hollywood Undead are my go-tos, but as you like.
You can find support on these forums, but if your sorrow starts affecting your daily life, please get help. Good luck.3 -
Sorry to hear
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Been here before man, I know what you're going through. It's tough.
Whatever you do, just don't sit around and do nothing, keep yourself busy, go out, take on something you've never done before. It's times like these you get to truly reinvent yourself.1 -
Take this time to learn to love yourself. Focus on yourself. Get good with yourself. Start each day by saying 5 things you're thankful for before you even get out of bed. I went through a pretty massive/life changing heartbreak - I basically faked it until it started to feel real. It hurt. I was lonely. But I was living. Take it one day at a time. Something that helped me was knowing I'm not the only person who feels like this (not that I wish others pain), but it was comforting knowing that those people healed.. and I will to, eventually.
And don't be afraid to feel how you feel. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to scream at the wall, scream at the wall. If you want to be sad, be sad. But just remember at the end of everyday, you gotta dust yourself off and look forward to what's next.5 -
"she was toxic" says it all right there , its not easy at first , it hurts , your mind will be all over the place , best thing to do is to focus on yourself. do not dwell on should have could have situations in your mind. you had good times and there were bad times. she was a large part of your life , but instead of giving a big portion of your time and energy to a volatile situation or argument , now you can focus on what is important to you. you need to step away and role play as your own best friend. and tell him what he should do.what would your advice be to him , if this was your friend / brother.. etc peace bro , it will work out for the best.2
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I'm sorry to say this but congratulations. It's a problem fixing itself. While it may be hell now, 6 months from now it will be worth it.
Focus on yourself to be the best you you can be.
A friend close to me had her spouse die. Tragic and full of pain, but a few months later she is blossoming. She spent so much time suppressing part of herself for this person in part she lost who she was.
I've been married for 25+ years and honestly I don't know who I am outside of husband and father.
You now have that chance. Revel in it.1 -
Thanks everyone , I'm going back to school and getting in better shape for myself.. however I loved her so much and I currently relocated to be close to family because my world is upside down.. I find myself relying on God and family.. but my world is upside down and everything intimidates me... very scared and thank you all for the support3
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I can guarantee you will come out of this a much better man! Just focus on you.4
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Thanks everyone , I'm going back to school and getting in better shape for myself.. however I loved her so much and I currently relocated to be close to family because my world is upside down.. I find myself relying on God and family.. but my world is upside down and everything intimidates me... very scared and thank you all for the support
I felt the same, but moving closer to family wasn't an option for me. I moved back to the neighborhood I felt comfortable/safest - my little bubble, I called it. I felt scared too. It's weird. I felt un-anchored and unsure of everything. Someone is such a huge part of your life, and then they're not. It felt like a death, because essentially I lost that person.
You got this. like I said... take it one. day. at. a. time. I used to make to do lists for myself each night. It gave me a sense of purpose and accomplishment. It included, walking my dog, getting frozen yogurt etc.
Pardon the 2nd comment - but you talking about being intimidated/scared - resonated with how I felt. And wanted to let you know. Best of luck to you - it may not feel like it, but you're on the right track. Keep on keepin' on.3 -
Thank you0
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This too shall pass, just like everything else in life.
It sounds like there are no children involved, right?
I wish you well.3 -
I am going through the same thing right now! It is so hard to let go, even though you know they are bad for you. Always hoping change or better days will come because at one time you both were in love and happy.
Feeling your sacrifice and hurt, and fighting for the relationship will be all worth it again one day. But, all the while teaching them it is okay to treat you like crap, and disrespecting you, because they know you will forgive, be loyal, and love them anyway. We deserve better. Learning to let go and heal myself.2 -
I'm sorry you're hurting:-( I'm going through a separation. It's hard. So hard. Even though it was abusive and I know it's for the best. But it's getting better. Every day.
Allow yourself to grieve. To be angry, to cry, to miss her. But soon, only allow yourself a small time of the day to do this. Use distraction methods. Go for a walk, talk to a friend, get on mfp forums!
Do something for YOU. The sun always comes out after the rain.3 -
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Only time will heal.1
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Motorsheen wrote: »This too shall pass, just like everything else in life.
It sounds like there are no children involved, right?
I wish you well.
No children, it's starting to get better.. I'm going back to school in the fall for my. Nursing degree, getting in better shape.. but I keep having dreams about her... I just have to keep moving forward, keep my faith strong.. thank you all for the support and I'm truly sorry for anyone going through this.. it really is terrible1 -
I'm 30 years old and starting over... it's defiantly scary0
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By the time I was your age, I had been divorce twice and thought I would never be happy again. I'm celebrating my 25th anniversary this year and am very happy.
Keep busy, let time pass. You will be fine.5 -
I am going through a divorce as well...and it sucks...but we just need to put one foot in front of the other. lot's of people to lean on2
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It's times like these you get to truly reinvent yourself.
This is so true.
This video really helped me a lot. Focus on those small little changes every single day and be patient. Work on yourself. Be kind to yourself. It will get better, and you will be ok.
(has some bad language)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mbp0DugfCA
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Thanks for the video, made me smile.0
https://youtu.be/T6Y-3Lfeuz4
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