Heart broken

rambo1687
rambo1687 Posts: 16 Member
edited November 16 in Chit-Chat
Why does this hurt so much? I miss her but I know she was toxic

Replies

  • rambo1687
    rambo1687 Posts: 16 Member
    She is divorcing me , I'm really struggling with this whole thing
  • oocdc2
    oocdc2 Posts: 1,361 Member
    @sbrandt37 nailed it.

    It's OK to lean on your friends in times like these--actually, it's times like these are when people show you who they really are, so be ready. Allow any chaff to fall away: they weren't truly serving any purpose, anyway.

    Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel, though remember to take care of yourself. Remember to eat, to breathe.

    Immerse yourself in music. Five Finger Death Punch and Hollywood Undead are my go-tos, but as you like.

    You can find support on these forums, but if your sorrow starts affecting your daily life, please get help. Good luck.
  • AmbitiousButRubbish
    AmbitiousButRubbish Posts: 246 Member
    Sorry to hear :(
  • Blubberbuster1
    Blubberbuster1 Posts: 265 Member
    Been here before man, I know what you're going through. It's tough.
    Whatever you do, just don't sit around and do nothing, keep yourself busy, go out, take on something you've never done before. It's times like these you get to truly reinvent yourself.
  • BootCampC
    BootCampC Posts: 689 Member
    "she was toxic" says it all right there , its not easy at first , it hurts , your mind will be all over the place , best thing to do is to focus on yourself. do not dwell on should have could have situations in your mind. you had good times and there were bad times. she was a large part of your life , but instead of giving a big portion of your time and energy to a volatile situation or argument , now you can focus on what is important to you. you need to step away and role play as your own best friend. and tell him what he should do.what would your advice be to him , if this was your friend / brother.. etc peace bro , it will work out for the best.
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
    I'm sorry to say this but congratulations. It's a problem fixing itself. While it may be hell now, 6 months from now it will be worth it.
    Focus on yourself to be the best you you can be.
    A friend close to me had her spouse die. Tragic and full of pain, but a few months later she is blossoming. She spent so much time suppressing part of herself for this person in part she lost who she was.
    I've been married for 25+ years and honestly I don't know who I am outside of husband and father.
    You now have that chance. Revel in it.
  • rambo1687
    rambo1687 Posts: 16 Member
    Thanks everyone , I'm going back to school and getting in better shape for myself.. however I loved her so much and I currently relocated to be close to family because my world is upside down.. I find myself relying on God and family.. but my world is upside down and everything intimidates me... very scared and thank you all for the support
  • Blubberbuster1
    Blubberbuster1 Posts: 265 Member
    I can guarantee you will come out of this a much better man! Just focus on you.
  • brittyn3
    brittyn3 Posts: 481 Member
    rambo1687 wrote: »
    Thanks everyone , I'm going back to school and getting in better shape for myself.. however I loved her so much and I currently relocated to be close to family because my world is upside down.. I find myself relying on God and family.. but my world is upside down and everything intimidates me... very scared and thank you all for the support

    I felt the same, but moving closer to family wasn't an option for me. I moved back to the neighborhood I felt comfortable/safest - my little bubble, I called it. I felt scared too. It's weird. I felt un-anchored and unsure of everything. Someone is such a huge part of your life, and then they're not. It felt like a death, because essentially I lost that person.

    You got this. like I said... take it one. day. at. a. time. I used to make to do lists for myself each night. It gave me a sense of purpose and accomplishment. It included, walking my dog, getting frozen yogurt etc.

    Pardon the 2nd comment - but you talking about being intimidated/scared - resonated with how I felt. And wanted to let you know. Best of luck to you - it may not feel like it, but you're on the right track. Keep on keepin' on.
  • rambo1687
    rambo1687 Posts: 16 Member
    Thank you
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    This too shall pass, just like everything else in life.

    It sounds like there are no children involved, right?

    I wish you well.
  • MKGIRL110tnm
    MKGIRL110tnm Posts: 880 Member
    I am going through the same thing right now! It is so hard to let go, even though you know they are bad for you. Always hoping change or better days will come because at one time you both were in love and happy.
    Feeling your sacrifice and hurt, and fighting for the relationship will be all worth it again one day. But, all the while teaching them it is okay to treat you like crap, and disrespecting you, because they know you will forgive, be loyal, and love them anyway. We deserve better. Learning to let go and heal myself.
  • kq1981
    kq1981 Posts: 1,098 Member
    I'm sorry you're hurting:-( I'm going through a separation. It's hard. So hard. Even though it was abusive and I know it's for the best. But it's getting better. Every day.
    Allow yourself to grieve. To be angry, to cry, to miss her. But soon, only allow yourself a small time of the day to do this. Use distraction methods. Go for a walk, talk to a friend, get on mfp forums!
    Do something for YOU. The sun always comes out after the rain.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Pray.

    You got this!
    Don't look back.

    https://youtu.be/T6Y-3Lfeuz4
  • kaizaku
    kaizaku Posts: 1,039 Member
    Only time will heal.
  • rambo1687
    rambo1687 Posts: 16 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    This too shall pass, just like everything else in life.

    It sounds like there are no children involved, right?

    I wish you well.

    No children, it's starting to get better.. I'm going back to school in the fall for my. Nursing degree, getting in better shape.. but I keep having dreams about her... I just have to keep moving forward, keep my faith strong.. thank you all for the support and I'm truly sorry for anyone going through this.. it really is terrible
  • rambo1687
    rambo1687 Posts: 16 Member
    I'm 30 years old and starting over... it's defiantly scary
  • pudgy1977
    pudgy1977 Posts: 13,499 Member
    I am going through a divorce as well...and it sucks...but we just need to put one foot in front of the other. lot's of people to lean on
  • Hoshiko
    Hoshiko Posts: 179 Member
    mawill08 wrote: »
    It's times like these you get to truly reinvent yourself.

    This is so true.

    This video really helped me a lot. Focus on those small little changes every single day and be patient. Work on yourself. Be kind to yourself. It will get better, and you will be ok.

    (has some bad language)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mbp0DugfCA

  • MKGIRL110tnm
    MKGIRL110tnm Posts: 880 Member
    Thanks for the video, made me smile.
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