How do I over come...

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kris628
kris628 Posts: 15 Member
I am 32 years old. I have a job that has horrible hours, i live at home with my boyfriend and two of his children (both boys, other two are in college) none of the three at home eat healthy or exercise. I have PCOS, asthma and a body that feels as though it is falling apart. I dont get home til late from work so i eat dinner late (made by the boyfriend, so not very healthy) and after working all day i have no energy for anything. I want to lose the weight formyself but have no drive as doing it by yourself is hard. How do I get myself to g er going and keep going? I am the heaviest I have ever been and it sickens me. I cant stand to see myself and what I have become. I dont have lots of money nor time so gym memberships are out and diet food and a good nutritionist cost way to much. Help me please anyone....

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  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,072 Member
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    Gym memberships, Diet Food and Nutritionist are not necessary for weight loss. You just need to eat less and move more.

    Small changes are the most sustainable, buy a food scale if you don't have one (you can pick one up relatively cheaply) log what you're eating now accurately for a couple of days, then you can see where you are going wrong and tweak your existing diet to make a small deficit. Once you've got used to the deficit you can drop down to your MFP recommendation (remember slow and steady wins the race, it won't come off overnight and it will be easier to sustain if you do this over a longer period).

    Do you have a day where you have some spare time to prep food in advance? This can be a big help if you're wiped after a long day but want to eat something different to what your boyfriend is making you.

    In terms of being more active, get some walking in or do some youtube bodyweight/cardio workouts at home, no equipment needed for either.
  • kristikitter
    kristikitter Posts: 602 Member
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    Step 1. Figure out your TDEE
    Step 2. Eat less than that by using MFP to track.

    That's all it takes. You don't even have to exercise. You CAN because you're creatng a calorie deficit that way, but it's not the only way to do that.
  • gracieJ1957
    gracieJ1957 Posts: 9 Member
    edited March 2017
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    Agree with what has been said. Exercise releases endorphins in your brain and makes you feel better. Opt for walking a couple days per week and then increase length and number of days when you can. I found some 3lbs weights at my local Goodwill store for $1 each and I use these sometimes when walking. Prepare food ahead of time so you have nourishing wholesome food in the frig when hungry. Make a commitment to love yourself right where you are. Try telling yourself "just for today I will eat healthy and exercise." Delayed gratification also works..."if I really want that whoopee pie I can have it in one hour....." Buy a tape measure and measure yourself one time each month. Hope that helps!
  • BootCampC
    BootCampC Posts: 689 Member
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    you just need a scale , measure portions between 200-300 calories and eat the portions in 2-3hr intervals as needed. adjust according to your caloric goal
  • roycruse73
    roycruse73 Posts: 53 Member
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    step one... swap all your drinks for water (dont drink your calories).
    step two... cut out sugar and all things containing sugar from your diet.
    step three... walk for 60 minutes every day.

    Once you start seeing changes and realise you can do this - you may well start to WANT to maximise your progress, so getting exercise and tracking calories and macros will become something you want to do. But to get your self on the road to weight loss those 3 steps will make a big difference to your life.

    Watch this guys videos he has helped and inspired me
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,072 Member
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    roycruse73 wrote: »
    step one... swap all your drinks for water (dont drink your calories).
    step two... cut out sugar and all things containing sugar from your diet.
    step three... walk for 60 minutes every day.

    There is absolutely no need to cut out all sugar from your diet!

  • cruzeiro_96
    cruzeiro_96 Posts: 7 Member
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    As some may already have mentioned - Here are some valuable tips.
    1) Cut sugar to a minimum or none at all.
    1a) Reduce sodium consumption
    2) Substitute all simple carbs for complex carbs
    ( For a quick food list, download Pinterest, and use their search tool )
    3) Drink a gallon of water daily
    4) Eat veggies frequently, eat fruits
    5) Make sure to portion size control every meal
    5a) Eat every 2/3 hours - 5, 6, 7x a day
    6) Cook ahead of time for as many days as possible.
    7) get 8 hrs of sleep at night
    8) Stay physically active
    ( meaning less time on couch, watching tv, etc..., there are a lot of home exercises that are very effective...google it)
    9) Drop all fast food, fried food, simple carbs food.
    10) if you need to lose a lot of weight, drop carb consumption, eat more protein and healthy fats ( look on Pinterest for what foods those are ).

    If anyone disagrees with any of the above, please enlighten me. I'd love to hear your insight!
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,072 Member
    edited March 2017
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    @cruzeiro_96 why would it be necessary to cut carbs or cut/reduce sugar to a minimum? How about you enlighten us as to your justification?

    The only thing that is important for weight loss is that your calories in are less than your calories out. Yes that's not the be all and end all of a healthy diet but it's what matters for weight loss.

    I am 20lb down whilst still eating a diet that includes sugar, occasional fast food and plenty of carbs, like many other people who use MFP. A way of eating that I know I will be able to stick to for the rest of my life, whilst getting a good balance of macros and being able to maintain my lower weight.

    Edit: Spelling



  • roycruse73
    roycruse73 Posts: 53 Member
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    Each to their own. Im 25KG (55lbs) down by eating plenty of food, never feeling hungry and simply cutting out the sugar and simple carbs.

    its simple.... cut out the sugar and simple carbs and you will after a couple of weeks break your sugar/carb addiction and strop craving sugary foods... eat lean meats and tons of veggies - you will feel satisfied for longer on less food.

    Your insulin levels will lower and smooth out and you will start burning fat. Your body only burns fat when insulin levels are low (something that's very hard to achieve without a lot of cardio when you eat a ton of high GI carbs - in fact you'll burn most of your fat only after excercise has lowered your blood sugar OR at night when you fast long enough for insulin levels to drop)

    SUGAR IS POISON and is largely responsible for the global obesity epidemic on earth at present. Do your research...
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,072 Member
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    @roycruse73 you're 55lbs down because you've been eating at a deficit. Whilst cutting out carbs and sugar has been a method to help you achieve this, it's not necessary and won't work for everyone in the long term. Why would your average peson want to overcomplicate their weight loss with restrictions?

    Also addiction is a word that shouldn't be thrown around lightly, if you have your own issues with sugar and carbs, thats ok, but don't assume everyone else is in the same boat.
  • amtyrell
    amtyrell Posts: 1,449 Member
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    Yup it's hard. But in life a lot of valuable things are hard.
    The key is to eat less then you burn. So start tracking now. Start small get in the habit of logging for a few weeks then look at the logs. From there make a change.
    Some small changes working for me are
    1. Sub in water instead of calorie dense juice and soda. (I do still have occasionally a glass of wine or beer but only after dinner and with spare calories)
    2. Track everything before eat it this makes me think twice about eatting something calories dense as i can't put it in my mounth until i log it and looking at the high calorie number makes me rethink.

    Small changes over time add up.
  • roycruse73
    roycruse73 Posts: 53 Member
    edited March 2017
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    tinkerbell... your opinions are yours and mine are mine - you throw your opinion around as if it were fact and its not the case - its just your opinion.

    The human race is suffering from unprecedented obesity crisis with huge numbers of people in a diabetic or pre-diabetic state (nearly half of americans are diabetic or pre-diabetic) and IN MY OPINION and many other peoples and doctors opinions the MAIN culprit is the sugar that is in everything. The human body has not evolved to eat such a high GI diet.

    The world health organisation have recognised this and recommended that NO MORE than 10% (ideally 5%) of your calories comes from sugar.... compared to most peoples diets this is way lower than they are currently consuming.

    Eating LOW CARB and/or SLOW CARB will make your weight loss faster/easier. NO its not essential to do it - but for many its a far easier and far more sustainable way to loose weight than trying to do it with calorie deficit alone.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,072 Member
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    CICO is scientific fact, not an opinion. I am not saying what you are doing doesn't work, I am just saying that it's not necessary in order to lose weight.
  • roycruse73
    roycruse73 Posts: 53 Member
    edited March 2017
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    CICO will make you loose weight - NOT NECESSARILY FAT - and in extreme cases you can loose more muscle than fat... eating a higher protein diet and strength training will reduce the amount of muscle you loose when in a calorie deficit. and eating low carb will encourage fat burning due to lower and less volatile insulin levels.

    This is the most efficient way to loose FAT - if the number on the scale is all that matters then by all means ignore this information - just know that you are losing lean muscle as well as fat in your carb rich calorie deficit and the resulting lower BMR will make putting the weight back on all the more likely.
  • ronjsteele1
    ronjsteele1 Posts: 1,064 Member
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    roycruse73 wrote: »
    tinkerbell... your opinions are yours and mine are mine - you throw your opinion around as if it were fact and its not the case - its just your opinion.

    The human race is suffering from unprecedented obesity crisis with huge numbers of people in a diabetic or pre-diabetic state (nearly half of americans are diabetic or pre-diabetic) and IN MY OPINION and many other peoples and doctors opinions the MAIN culprit is the sugar that is in everything. The human body has not evolved to eat such a high GI diet.

    The world health organisation have recognised this and recommended that NO MORE than 10% (ideally 5%) of your calories comes from sugar.... compared to most peoples diets this is way lower than they are currently consuming.

    Eating LOW CARB and/or SLOW CARB will make your weight loss faster/easier. NO its not essential to do it - but for many its a far easier and far more sustainable way to loose weight than trying to do it with calorie deficit alone.

    I won't argue that sugar isn't good for people - we practice a carefully managed low sugar diet in our home. We still enjoy sweet treats when we want to though. BUT, when someone new comes looking for suggestions on how to lose weight in difficult circumstances, making large changes like this (and removing sugars is a big change) is not what they need at that moment. At that moment, they need an UNCOMPLICATED way to lose weight and in the end, calories in/calories out is THE only way to do that (regardless of any other diet changes one may make). Maybe in their future they will choose to cut sugars, but right now in the beginning, the newbie needs EASY and CICO is easy. So let's not complicate her life right now.

    So, OP, start small. One change at a time that is manageable to you. The goal is that to lose weight, you MUST burn more then you eat. Do you drink soda? For most sodas that can be anywhere from 140-210 calories a can depending on what you're drinking. Drink water instead. You will have just put those calories towards creating your deficit. Make one change at a time and do it until it becomes a habit (sometimes it can take several weeks to a month for that to happen). Then change another habit and do the same as you did with the first one. You eat an elephant one bite at a time. Change your habits one at a time. The most important thing to remember is whatever you do has to be sustainable for the long term. So if you can't cut out sugar for the long term, then don't start there. Start somewhere else. But every time you make a change, ask yourself if you can sustain that change for life. That doesn't ever mean not having a soda, for example. It means drinking non-caloric drinks (my preference is water) and saving soda (or whatever) for the once in awhile treat. Do not consider any foods "off limits." Everything is on the table, but in smaller portions. So if your boyfriend is cooking and you want to eat it, just take 1/4 or 1/3 of what you would normally take. But start learning to cut down on how much you take of foods and that is half the battle. Weigh everything you can, log, pre-plan your meals, have a prep day once a week to put foods in the fridge/freezer just for you. You CAN do this if you want it bad enough.

    Small habits to consider changing one at a time:

    replace caloric drinks with non-caloric ones (water is good!)

    park far away from where you're going and walk (just doing this added a mile or more to my day of walking). I started by parking further away from the entrances of every place I went - even in the rain/snow.

    cut down portion sizes 1/4 to 1/3 of what you're given or normally would take

    move - as much as you can....walk around the block just once after a meal (and eventually that will become twice, etc. etc. just because it will make you feel better), throw a ball with the kids, walk the dog, anything to get you moving more then you are now. Do you get a lunch break? Walk for 10 or 15 minutes to start. In the beginning, I would pace my house (or walk around outside it) while talking on the phone. March in place while watching the TV. Whatever. Just move. The more you move, the more you will desire to move and it will perpetuate itself because you'll begin to feel better. Are you off work on the weekends? Then plan one weekend day to take a half hour or hour walk. It's one hour out of the week that you can give to yourself as a sanity gift. :-)

    plan your meals weekly so you don't have to think when you're tired. Just look at your list and eat what you have listed.

    Make your own list of changes you feel like you can make ONE AT A TIME and then start going down the list. When you accomplish the first thing, cross it off and add the second change to it. You will be surprised how much these things will add up and matter over time in weight loss.

    In the end, keep in your head constantly that weight loss is calories in vs. calories out. Don't lose sight of that and go looking for short cuts. You CAN do this.
  • rolenthegreat
    rolenthegreat Posts: 78 Member
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    I've also been trying to eat healthier and I also live with a boyfriend who has not. He tries to be supportive, but still 'kindly' brings home high calorie snacks that he knows I love .
    The easiest way I've found to avoid temptation and stay below my daily calories, is to be sure there is something lower cal in the house that I still enjoy to substitute for the cookies and ice cream.
    Some of my easy go-tos snacks are string cheese, baby carrots, canned tuna, apples, Greek yogurt, a lower calorie cereal (like Cheerios or Wheaties) with almond milk, or bell peppers.
    It's not special 'diet food' but trading out a few higher calorie snacks for things like this is a quick way to lower your intake for the day. (I still eat plenty of carbs, and usually go over my sugar intake for the day, still loosing weight though)
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,072 Member
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    roycruse73 wrote: »
    tinkerbell... your opinions are yours and mine are mine - you throw your opinion around as if it were fact and its not the case - its just your opinion.

    The human race is suffering from unprecedented obesity crisis with huge numbers of people in a diabetic or pre-diabetic state (nearly half of americans are diabetic or pre-diabetic) and IN MY OPINION and many other peoples and doctors opinions the MAIN culprit is the sugar that is in everything. The human body has not evolved to eat such a high GI diet.

    The world health organisation have recognised this and recommended that NO MORE than 10% (ideally 5%) of your calories comes from sugar.... compared to most peoples diets this is way lower than they are currently consuming.

    Eating LOW CARB and/or SLOW CARB will make your weight loss faster/easier. NO its not essential to do it - but for many its a far easier and far more sustainable way to loose weight than trying to do it with calorie deficit alone.

    I won't argue that sugar isn't good for people - we practice a carefully managed low sugar diet in our home. We still enjoy sweet treats when we want to though. BUT, when someone new comes looking for suggestions on how to lose weight in difficult circumstances, making large changes like this (and removing sugars is a big change) is not what they need at that moment. At that moment, they need an UNCOMPLICATED way to lose weight and in the end, calories in/calories out is THE only way to do that (regardless of any other diet changes one may make). Maybe in their future they will choose to cut sugars, but right now in the beginning, the newbie needs EASY and CICO is easy. So let's not complicate her life right now.

    ^^ This!

    The amount of times when I first started to lose weight (and almost all women that I know that have tried to lose weight) they have quit and regained because it was made out to be far more complicated than it needed to be and too many drastic changes were only sustainable for a short period of time, because they think that's the only way it can be done.

    I myself eat higher protein and higher fat than I used to and incorporate strength training to maintain as much muscle as possible, but that's something I worked towards gradually, the first thing I had to do was get my head around was getting from the amount of calories I was eating to my new goal and that can be done with smaller, lower impact changes. Trying to change everything at once, can be overwhelming.

    I am sure when the OP has got to grips with calorie control, they can then consider if they want to change their macros around, which may lead her to low carb if that's what satiates her and is something that she can see herself applying as a lifestyle change.

    There's a very useful nutrition pyramid, that has been kicking about the forums that illustrates what I'm trying to say:

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