Mean Things People Said That Ended Up Motivating You

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  • evilpoptart63
    evilpoptart63 Posts: 397 Member
    I havent lost weight since my last baby and recently my husband started making comments. Im 30lbs heavier than when we met. First he suggested i get a gym membership, then he told me i need to use it more. He asked me to unfollow a fitness motivation lady on facebook because i "gave up on myself" and a few days ago he told me my stomach was gross and turned him off and thats the reason he needs porn for sexual satisfaction. Its pretty upsetting but i think he has motivated me enough to put effort into changing myself.
  • gamerbabe14
    gamerbabe14 Posts: 876 Member
    I havent lost weight since my last baby and recently my husband started making comments. Im 30lbs heavier than when we met. First he suggested i get a gym membership, then he told me i need to use it more. He asked me to unfollow a fitness motivation lady on facebook because i "gave up on myself" and a few days ago he told me my stomach was gross and turned him off and thats the reason he needs porn for sexual satisfaction. Its pretty upsetting but i think he has motivated me enough to put effort into changing myself.

    What a piece of *kitten*.
  • Leah_62803
    Leah_62803 Posts: 292 Member
    I'm literally crying after reading all these. It blows my mind that people would say these things.

    Mine come from a few different sources. Several years ago while I was a teller at a bank a customer came in to make a deposit. He was at the teller window next to me and my coworker was waiting on him. He had always been nice to me, even gave me a baby blanket for my baby... I don't know how it got started but he made a comment about my weight. It shocked and confused me at first because no one had ever commented on my weight before. At the time I was only about 25 lbs overweight. He started off saying something like "Don't worry, you don't have to say you're fat, just say you're fluffy. That's what fat women are called." Then my coworker (who I thought was my friend) started laughing and agreeing with him. They started talking about how my husband probably likes it because I was "warmth in the winter and shade in the summer". I just sat there in shock and ashamed. My whole body was tensed up and I couldn't even move so I just looked down and tried to hold the tears back. Then they seriously started straight up schoolyard bullying me like "aww look she's gonna cry" and "we better stop before the baby cries". I ended up finally getting up and running into the hallway. This turns into a kind of sweet story because other coworkers heard and saw me crying and rallied to my aide. They comforted me and cussed with me. Lol. My bullying coworker was reprimanded and apologized saying that she got carried away and that she thought the 3 of us were joking together (BS). Anyway, the customer ended up changing banks because every single time he came in another coworker would come and stand behind me with his arms crossed and scowl at the man. That coworker has since passed away from cancer but I'll always have the memory of him standing behind me protecting me...and his sassy "you can always lose weight but he'll be ugly forever" advice. ❤️

    I also have my in laws. They are morbidly obese themselves but for some reason choose to only focus on the 30 lbs I've gained since getting married. My 300 lb sister in law has told me "Wow, how much weight have you gained? Looks like a lot!" And my mother in law took my husband aside and ask "How do you feel about all that weight Leah's gained?"

  • GemstoneofHeart
    GemstoneofHeart Posts: 865 Member
    I'm literally crying after reading all these. It blows my mind that people would say these things.

    Mine come from a few different sources. Several years ago while I was a teller at a bank a customer came in to make a deposit. He was at the teller window next to me and my coworker was waiting on him. He had always been nice to me, even gave me a baby blanket for my baby... I don't know how it got started but he made a comment about my weight. It shocked and confused me at first because no one had ever commented on my weight before. At the time I was only about 25 lbs overweight. He started off saying something like "Don't worry, you don't have to say you're fat, just say you're fluffy. That's what fat women are called." Then my coworker (who I thought was my friend) started laughing and agreeing with him. They started talking about how my husband probably likes it because I was "warmth in the winter and shade in the summer". I just sat there in shock and ashamed. My whole body was tensed up and I couldn't even move so I just looked down and tried to hold the tears back. Then they seriously started straight up schoolyard bullying me like "aww look she's gonna cry" and "we better stop before the baby cries". I ended up finally getting up and running into the hallway. This turns into a kind of sweet story because other coworkers heard and saw me crying and rallied to my aide. They comforted me and cussed with me. Lol. My bullying coworker was reprimanded and apologized saying that she got carried away and that she thought the 3 of us were joking together (BS). Anyway, the customer ended up changing banks because every single time he came in another coworker would come and stand behind me with his arms crossed and scowl at the man. That coworker has since passed away from cancer but I'll always have the memory of him standing behind me protecting me...and his sassy "you can always lose weight but he'll be ugly forever" advice. ❤️

    I also have my in laws. They are morbidly obese themselves but for some reason choose to only focus on the 30 lbs I've gained since getting married. My 300 lb sister in law has told me "Wow, how much weight have you gained? Looks like a lot!" And my mother in law took my husband aside and ask "How do you feel about all that weight Leah's gained?"

    This is a prime example of how the customer is not always right!

    So sorry you had to endure that BS. It sounds like your in laws are projecting their own self loathing onto you.
  • GemstoneofHeart
    GemstoneofHeart Posts: 865 Member
    iamsharica wrote: »
    The meanest things I've heard came from my ex:

    "You need to lose weight"
    "Why are you eating that" (shakes head in disgust)
    "You need to stop, you can't eat what I eat"
    "You are too big, like for real"

    Then when I lost 45lbs
    "Why you wearing that skirt, those are my legs all these dudes don't need to see them"
    "Why you showing cleavage, those are mines"

    He pretty much made me feel bad either way. The things he said hurt me pretty bad and I know that's why I didn't feel as beautiful as people said I was most days.

    Ugh, I cannot stand men like this. Your body does not belong to him! In any form!
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
    i was walking around the house with out my shirt on...my niece made the comment that if i go outside i must scare people...it hurt big time.... but it got me to change and go to the gym
  • keronkinara
    keronkinara Posts: 13 Member
    This thread makes me feel sad. I can't help but put myself in each of your shoes as I read these comments. I definitely don't feel inspired by insults.

    For me, the last straw was shopping for jeans for my birthday. I couldn't find my size in long lengths anywhere. Apparently tall women aren't supposed to go beyond a size 16. I ended up finding a 22L at one store and settling for that. It was only slightly too big. I had never had such a problem finding clothes like that and decided I was never going to again.

    Similar experience here. I think I began losing weight when I was 15kg heavier 3 years ago and knowing that I was the largest size in normal shops (44 male which I think is about 21 female) was pretty soul destroying. Although I'm still a 38/40, it's nice knowing that the low 30s are in sight and it's a lot easier to purchase clothing.
  • Leah_62803
    Leah_62803 Posts: 292 Member
    This thread makes me feel sad. I can't help but put myself in each of your shoes as I read these comments. I definitely don't feel inspired by insults.

    For me, the last straw was shopping for jeans for my birthday. I couldn't find my size in long lengths anywhere. Apparently tall women aren't supposed to go beyond a size 16. I ended up finding a 22L at one store and settling for that. It was only slightly too big. I had never had such a problem finding clothes like that and decided I was never going to again.

    I feel the same way. I'm putting myself in each situation and it's soul crushing. It definitely doesn't feel motivating.
  • nrbutton
    nrbutton Posts: 165 Member
    My dad when I was 12 - I was walking out of the kitchen and he said "your *kitten* is getting fat"

    My aunt (again when I was 12) told me I couldn't try on my cousins clothes because I would stretch them out. My cousin was the same age and size

    I didn't know what I was doing at the time but I figured riding my bike 2 hours a day and only eating dinner would fix my weight problem. I gave up after a month because I was starving but I lost 8 lbs
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  • ActivatedAlm0nds
    ActivatedAlm0nds Posts: 169 Member
    edited April 2017
    My dad while I was in the hospital after getting hit by a car: I don't want you getting fat again.

    I asked for a cookie from the McDonalds downstairs since I couldn't walk down there myself.
  • yayamom3
    yayamom3 Posts: 939 Member
    These stories break my heart. Sending all of you big hugs.
  • T0M_K
    T0M_K Posts: 7,526 Member
    I ran into this dude...trying to sell me a car...we worked together in a diff profession some 25 years ago. He said to me once i introduced myself to him ( i remembered who he was) and he said OHhhhhhh Tom..i didn't recognize you, you look heavier than you used to.

    Mind you, this dude is fat and bald and has been for 30 years. F'ing moron. needless to say, will NEVER buy a car from this *kitten*.

    still steams me...the dumb *kitten*
  • andyrd
    andyrd Posts: 3 Member
    I had to go to Amsterdam in January to meet my new boss. We went out in the evening for a few beers and whilst walking between bars at something like -2c he made a comment about me not having my coat done up. He said that it must be because of my extra layer of fat insulating me. Haven't forgotten that and have lost a stone since. The thing is that 30+ years ago I was 12 Stone at 5'11'' and fitter than ever, but I'd still walk around in winter in little more than short sleeves. I just like it when it's crisp and cold. Part of the reason why I moved to Scotland from London, I don't cope with the heat so well. He was right about the blubber though:-)
  • ejsilvi
    ejsilvi Posts: 205 Member
    They said I could not do it And I went ahead and Did It!
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  • Spiyce
    Spiyce Posts: 33 Member
    A girl on the college campus I go to asked me if I was pregnant and started laughing. So did 20 other people with her. I left in shock and hit the gym.
  • Sp1tfire
    Sp1tfire Posts: 1,120 Member
    "your arms are like sticks" "you're practically a twig lol"
    TELL THAT TO MY CHISELED CALVES AND BICEPS NOW
  • rybatace
    rybatace Posts: 5 Member
    I work in retail management. I had a customer come in drunk, stoned, smelling like cat pee, talking about being a convicted felon on parole, unemployed...trying to get me to let him steal. He said "listen, since clearly you like to eat, I'll take you out for dinner if you let me take this stuff." I kicked him out of my store. But it struck me that this guy honestly perceived me as so inferior because of my weight that I would be so desperate for a man and for food that I would be flattered by the invitation enough to let him steal...I was really upset, but it really motivated me to make a change.
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