I don't know what to do

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Replies

  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,946 Member
    You clearly must start eating more and stop working out. You cant be skinnier than the bride to be. That would just be selfish. Need to think about others even if it means sacrificing your own health and happiness.
  • amyteacake
    amyteacake Posts: 768 Member
    LiftingRiot wrote: »
    You clearly must start eating more and stop working out. You cant be skinnier than the bride to be. That would just be selfish. Need to think about others even if it means sacrificing your own health and happiness.

    I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not but I'm not sarcrifying my own happiness for someone that doesn't make me feel happy or wanted as it is.
  • edup1975
    edup1975 Posts: 486 Member
    Doesn't sound like a true friend to me.

    I'll be your friend!
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
    amyteacake wrote: »
    LiftingRiot wrote: »
    You clearly must start eating more and stop working out. You cant be skinnier than the bride to be. That would just be selfish. Need to think about others even if it means sacrificing your own health and happiness.

    I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not but I'm not sarcrifying my own happiness for someone that doesn't make me feel happy or wanted as it is.

    And the big why remains; why om earth are you doing that? Because of fear of the unknown. Is that really worth it?
  • LVNF04
    LVNF04 Posts: 2,607 Member
    It's simple, to get love, you have to give love. And even still you may not get what you want in return. It sounds like she is jealous because you did something about it, and she's lazy. Sometimes people change and other people can't deal with it. So...that leaves so much room to create new friends. Right?
  • sugaraddict4321
    sugaraddict4321 Posts: 15,897 MFP Moderator
    amyteacake wrote: »
    I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not but I'm not sarcrifying my own happiness for someone that doesn't make me feel happy or wanted as it is.

    Re-read the bit you typed that I have now bolded. Then re-read it again out loud and keep repeating. This is the attitude you need to have with this so-called friend and any person that doesn't add value to your life.

    It's hard to let go of relationships that have been part of us for many years. Sometimes, it's the only thing you can do for your own sanity. You have to take care of you. It's not easy.

    You say you've tried communicating with her and it always gets turned against you. If face-to-face is not working, try an old-fashioned letter. Sit down and write out all you're feeling just to get it out. Then rip up that letter, let that sadness and anger go. Write a fresh letter, using lots of "when you do X it makes me feel Y". Tell her you're sad to let the friendship end and she'll always have a place in your heart, but you can't allow what she thinks of you to control your life. Good luck. :flowerforyou:
  • amyteacake
    amyteacake Posts: 768 Member
    dutchandkiwi wrote: »
    amyteacake wrote: »
    LiftingRiot wrote: »
    You clearly must start eating more and stop working out. You cant be skinnier than the bride to be. That would just be selfish. Need to think about others even if it means sacrificing your own health and happiness.

    I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not but I'm not sarcrifying my own happiness for someone that doesn't make me feel happy or wanted as it is.

    And the big why remains; why om earth are you doing that? Because of fear of the unknown. Is that really worth it?

    I had a bit of a drink in me when I wrote that. Main reason is because I have a fear of being alone and feel like I have to stay for some reason
  • amyteacake
    amyteacake Posts: 768 Member
    edup1975 wrote: »
    Doesn't sound like a true friend to me.

    I'll be your friend!

    Hasn't felt like one in a while.

    That's fine with me!
  • amyteacake
    amyteacake Posts: 768 Member
    TheRealSlim_Shelly wrote: »
    It's such a misconception that you need to be lifelong friends with every friend you have, even friends from childhood. People change, you outgrow friendships, people, interests, jobs, etc sometimes. I'm glad I'm not friends with people I was friends with in high school or college, some of them are so stuck in the past, and even the friends I do still have, seems like the only thing we have in common anymore is high school memories. This isn't even about weight, seems like you can't be yourself around her...the walking on eggshells thing... been there, and I'm so much happier to not be surrounded by "friends" like that... I mean, is that really the kind of friend you want? Politely separate yourself from this person. Doesn't have to be dramatic, just do your own thing.

    I used to believe it so much when I was in high school. We all used to believe that we'd remain friends for life but then we all went to college and fell apart. This friend can be quite stuck in the past and jealous of things that have no meaning at all now. She's that type of person that if she removes someone from fb she'll have someone spy on them for her to see what they're up to. We have other things in common but seems like she doesn't even want to talk about them anymore. I've been doing my own thing for over a year and rarely ever see her unless it's big events like certain parties and things.
  • amyteacake
    amyteacake Posts: 768 Member
    sugaraddict4321 wrote: »
    amyteacake wrote: »
    I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not but I'm not sarcrifying my own happiness for someone that doesn't make me feel happy or wanted as it is.

    Re-read the bit you typed that I have now bolded. Then re-read it again out loud and keep repeating. This is the attitude you need to have with this so-called friend and any person that doesn't add value to your life.

    It's hard to let go of relationships that have been part of us for many years. Sometimes, it's the only thing you can do for your own sanity. You have to take care of you. It's not easy.

    You say you've tried communicating with her and it always gets turned against you. If face-to-face is not working, try an old-fashioned letter. Sit down and write out all you're feeling just to get it out. Then rip up that letter, let that sadness and anger go. Write a fresh letter, using lots of "when you do X it makes me feel Y". Tell her you're sad to let the friendship end and she'll always have a place in your heart, but you can't allow what she thinks of you to control your life. Good luck. :flowerforyou:

    I had a bit of a drink in me when I wrote that but now that I read it it seems to ring true.

    We met in high school, were in the same college together and now it seems to have all fallen apart. She hangs over the fact that we've done so much for each other and helped each other through so much and I'm the one that's changed.

    I've written open letters like that before to someone that broke my heart. Wrote it over and over again to let it all out, let out all the frustration and anger and hurt that he had left. Thank you.
  • RoteBook
    RoteBook Posts: 171 Member
    amyteacake wrote: »
    sugaraddict4321 wrote: »
    amyteacake wrote: »
    I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not but I'm not sarcrifying my own happiness for someone that doesn't make me feel happy or wanted as it is.

    Re-read the bit you typed that I have now bolded. Then re-read it again out loud and keep repeating. This is the attitude you need to have with this so-called friend and any person that doesn't add value to your life.

    It's hard to let go of relationships that have been part of us for many years. Sometimes, it's the only thing you can do for your own sanity. You have to take care of you. It's not easy.

    You say you've tried communicating with her and it always gets turned against you. If face-to-face is not working, try an old-fashioned letter. Sit down and write out all you're feeling just to get it out. Then rip up that letter, let that sadness and anger go. Write a fresh letter, using lots of "when you do X it makes me feel Y". Tell her you're sad to let the friendship end and she'll always have a place in your heart, but you can't allow what she thinks of you to control your life. Good luck. :flowerforyou:

    I had a bit of a drink in me when I wrote that but now that I read it it seems to ring true.

    We met in high school, were in the same college together and now it seems to have all fallen apart. She hangs over the fact that we've done so much for each other and helped each other through so much and I'm the one that's changed.

    I've written open letters like that before to someone that broke my heart. Wrote it over and over again to let it all out, let out all the frustration and anger and hurt that he had left. Thank you.

    You're in your 20s. You're supposed to change. Can you imagine someone whose likes, dislikes, opinions, and hobbies were all fozen at age 16? Yikes! Hell, I'm thrilled that I'm not still the person I was at 20.
  • amyteacake
    amyteacake Posts: 768 Member
    RoteBook wrote: »
    amyteacake wrote: »
    sugaraddict4321 wrote: »
    amyteacake wrote: »
    I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not but I'm not sarcrifying my own happiness for someone that doesn't make me feel happy or wanted as it is.

    Re-read the bit you typed that I have now bolded. Then re-read it again out loud and keep repeating. This is the attitude you need to have with this so-called friend and any person that doesn't add value to your life.

    It's hard to let go of relationships that have been part of us for many years. Sometimes, it's the only thing you can do for your own sanity. You have to take care of you. It's not easy.

    You say you've tried communicating with her and it always gets turned against you. If face-to-face is not working, try an old-fashioned letter. Sit down and write out all you're feeling just to get it out. Then rip up that letter, let that sadness and anger go. Write a fresh letter, using lots of "when you do X it makes me feel Y". Tell her you're sad to let the friendship end and she'll always have a place in your heart, but you can't allow what she thinks of you to control your life. Good luck. :flowerforyou:

    I had a bit of a drink in me when I wrote that but now that I read it it seems to ring true.

    We met in high school, were in the same college together and now it seems to have all fallen apart. She hangs over the fact that we've done so much for each other and helped each other through so much and I'm the one that's changed.

    I've written open letters like that before to someone that broke my heart. Wrote it over and over again to let it all out, let out all the frustration and anger and hurt that he had left. Thank you.

    You're in your 20s. You're supposed to change. Can you imagine someone whose likes, dislikes, opinions, and hobbies were all fozen at age 16? Yikes! Hell, I'm thrilled that I'm not still the person I was at 20.

    Exactly! She said that wanted the old me back, the one that spoke about music and the shows she liked. I still like those things but not as intensely as when I was 16! And I don't understand what's so wrong with change or me gaining an interest in fitness and healthy eating? I would hate to be the same way as I was when I was 16.
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,946 Member
    amyteacake wrote: »
    LiftingRiot wrote: »
    You clearly must start eating more and stop working out. You cant be skinnier than the bride to be. That would just be selfish. Need to think about others even if it means sacrificing your own health and happiness.

    I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not but I'm not sarcrifying my own happiness for someone that doesn't make me feel happy or wanted as it is.

    Sarcasm..... i dont know the meaning of the word.

    Maybe you should steal her fiancee. That would show her. And then invite her to ypur vacations and wedding.
  • amyteacake
    amyteacake Posts: 768 Member
    LiftingRiot wrote: »
    amyteacake wrote: »
    LiftingRiot wrote: »
    You clearly must start eating more and stop working out. You cant be skinnier than the bride to be. That would just be selfish. Need to think about others even if it means sacrificing your own health and happiness.

    I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not but I'm not sarcrifying my own happiness for someone that doesn't make me feel happy or wanted as it is.

    Sarcasm..... i dont know the meaning of the word.

    Maybe you should steal her fiancee. That would show her. And then invite her to ypur vacations and wedding.

    I wouldn't do that to her. Got a boyfriend anyway so dont need her fiancee
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    I don't dare offer my experience to you. However, I want to assure you that you will live and discover new friends. Keep open to that.
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