Isn't he coming on strong for a person I just met

girlonfire37 · April 2017

I've been at my job for 5 months and I rarely talk to people but there is a few people I engage in conversation with. Yesterday my team leader put me beside a guy that has been at my
job for twelve years and some how we started talking and we eventually talked the whole twelve hour shift we laughed talked about life, family, food, and other coworkers. We got on the subject of phones and I said I rarely text people and he asked for my number so
I gave it to him When the shift was over he walked with me outside and opened the door for me. And when I got home he actually texted me and gave me a few compliments and today he admitted that he liked me... so I asked him how could you like me after only talking to me one day and he said he liked talking to me and I seem cool...
While we are at work he calls me his buddy and friend and say we're cool but over text he calls me sweetie and beautiful and also he has asked for me to send him a selfie of my face twice. He asks me about my boyfriend (even though I don't have one). Like today he asked me does my boyfriend take me to work. He opens doors for me and walks me to my table etc. also he has brought me food twice .i think he has a little crush on me but he says he likes me so IWhile texting I notice he calls me sweetie , beautiful , he asked could he cuddle me and wants a hug from me so I don't know yet , But how can a person like you after one conversation .. he's 32 and I'm 20 years old

Lounmoun · April 2017

You gave him your number yesterday and all this is since then?

You can be attracted to or like someone you spent 12 hours with.
If you don't like it tell him to back off.

LVNF04 · April 2017

That's called sexual harassment. Cha ching.

dpwellman · April 2017

Sounds like a rhetorical question to me. Been in your situation, though. If one feels likewise it's pretty awesome. If one does not, it somewhat sucks because one would rather be pleasant and nice and agreeable. Since you're asking a question rather than stating how awesome it is, you must be in the latter category. Ergo you have two options: fish or cut bait.

iamsharica · April 2017

I wouldn't have exchanged numbers

federicafezza4271 · April 2017

I think that the first problem is that he is totally rushing, he already told you he likes you.
The second is that you are co workers and it seems he has a role that is superior to you.
The fact that he keeps asking about your non existent boyfriend also makes me assume that he's the type of man that thinks that a woman is only off limits when she "belongs" to another man. This is totally wrong.

I think you should tell him that his attentions are making you unconfortable, and to please keep it professional.
If the situation keeps going after you ask him to stop you should refer to HR or to your boss.

If the situation will be evaluated, your behavior will be analyzed so if you keep the distances from him you will have better chances to be taken seriously. Unfortunately a woman's behavior will often be evaluated with a mysoginistic eye (even unconsciously, even by other women). So if you are friendly, you will be "flirty" etc etc. this is sad but true so be careful.
You say that there are few people you talk to, is there someone that you can confide with? I think that if you tell someone that this colleague is making you unconfortable and tell them that it's him that initiates the conversation, the flirting etc it's like a "proof" you will have in the future to defend yourself. Also, if you can, talk to your family, friends, for support and advice.

If you reject him and he has a position that is superior to you he might try to get you fired as "revenge". Or the company might think that the unpleasant situation caused by the fact that you rejected him is your fault and will let you go, because you have been there only 5 months and are less "valuable" for the firm than him.

Please don't let this happen, stand for yourself and keep us updated.

**this is a worst case scenario. maybe he's a nice guy and will not keep harassing you and will be professional ect ect. I hope so, but I wish that you are also prepared if things get ugly.**

best of luck.

Unknown · April 2017