How do I deal with negativity?

slkehl

Write a review on yelp about the gym. It's anonymous. All the businesses I have worked at really do read them and bring up the issues at our staff meetings.

jljshoe1979

Write a review on yelp about the gym. It's anonymous. All the businesses I have worked at really do read them and bring up the issues at our staff meetings.

I would go to the owner/manager first. Explain what is happening. If they can't get it stopped (ie banning those people from the gym), then post a review on yelp. I've read and used reviews on yelp to make decisions about places I've gone/not gone.

Now, since you live in a small town, you will probably run into these people at other places around town. If they give you a hard time elsewhere, do your best to ignore them. In the mean time, practice your "I can't believe an in-bred monkey like you exist" face :huh: :devil: I don't have quick comebacks, so I find a good smirk or look of disbelief usually does the job. Someone, somewhere once said, "Never argue with fools, people might not know the difference."

Good luck on your weight loss journey!!!

takethissoul

Thank you so much to everyone for replying. I'm slightly overwhelmed at the support I've received through myfitnesspal. Just thought I would give you all an update on the situation.

I'm not the best at confrontations, and didn't want to go back to the gym as I know the staff. Plus, I was pretty humiliated and didn't want to have to explain what happened. But somebody suggested that I make an anonymous phonecall directly to the manager (which I can't believe I didn't think of before. Duh) which I did and I explained everything to her.

She told me that there was nothing they could really do about it now, as I had waited 5 days even although I told here I could give name the group of idiots, and that if I was being harassed I should have reported it to the member of staff present in the gym at the time who was trained to deal with situations like this.

I explained that there was nobody else in the gym. Its part of a leisure center, and she told me that by policy or their regulations or something there is always supposed to be someone in the gym when public are using it. I then explained again that there wasn't, and that some of her employees had been quite open about the fact that it makes them feel sick when overweight people come in to use the gym or even worse, the swimming pool, so they probably just hadn't bothered to leave the staff room after I had paid at reception.

She apologised to me profusely, and assured me that this would not happen again in future and that the staff would be dealt with as they're not supposed to discuss individuals and customers outside of work.

I spent a couple of days feeling very upset about the whole thing, and fell of the fitness wagon, but thanks to everyone on here I'm back on track. Oh, and the manager is also sending me a free ten day access pass as an official apology so I'm going to back and use it up as soon as it comes through. Hopefully I'll be able to see the positive changes that have taken place at the gym

jljshoe1979

I'm glad you didn't let those idiots scare you off permanently...sometimes we do need to take a break, step back, and regroup...AND now, if it happens again I would have the manager/owner's # ready to call and say it's happening right now (then, if she doesn't directly address it with the ones causing the problem, I would try to find somewhere else to work out or go ahead and do as many honest reviews of the place that I could).

mmouse90

Keep that managers number with you when you go and should it happen again immediately call her

danarandallreed

Reading your post made me realize how often I bully myself, which should be more appalling that when someone else bullies me.

When you said they said mean things, I tried to recall if anyone ever treated me that way at the gym. I realized I treat myself that way. My negative talk says "You are ugly." "You are stupid for not staying fit." "Even is you lose, you will still be fat and end up fat again." "Oh look, you are trying to lose again, for the 100th time." "Just remember, as soon as your pants are looser, you will start pigging out and stop exercising."

I am now learning, at age 47, to stop bullying myself. If I stop, I will start to have the courage to stand up to bullies who are hurting me or someone else. I will respond with words that shame their perverse character.

I am sorry you were treated with such disrespect. I was recently treated badly at the beach, made fun of because a regular bath size towel did not go around my hips. It hurt, it made me angry, and I turned that inward instead of realizing the ones who teased me were dim-witted, scum-sucking perverts.

MFP has really helped me with awareness of what I eat and why I need to exercise. Stay on track for yourself, and if someone speaks to you with disrespect, reverse the words in your mind and heart, and if you can, speak back to yourself that you are kind, irreplaceable and fearfully and wonderfully made in God's image. Your desire to be fit is to honor yourself and to honor the body Gad has given you to live in.

Be strong, my friend.

kellyskitties

So glad that you took action! I know it can be hard, and we procrastinate because of that. I'm just glad you did it.

I agree, if those losers start again - call her right then. If nobody is on staff like they should be - call her right then. Bullies are just immature A-holes. Don't let them determine what happens to you. If they ran the world and made all the rules it would be one suckfest of a world.

thrld

I spent a couple of days feeling very upset about the whole thing, and fell of the fitness wagon, but thanks to everyone on here I'm back on track. Oh, and the manager is also sending me a free ten day access pass as an official apology so I'm going to back and use it up as soon as it comes through. Hopefully I'll be able to see the positive changes that have taken place at the gym

Good for you in speaking up for yourself. And please know this going forward --

these people who try to discourage you or tear you down - they don't KNOW you. They don't care about you any more than a toy to play with, and they don't think about you once you are out of their sight. It is obvious to all but them that they are WRONG,. They are hurtful people who are self-absorbed, immature and emotionally-underdeveloped. And if you stop doing what you want to do, if you make your decisions based on going along with their 'suggestions' you will look back and regret it. It's a small town, but it is not the whole world. Keep coming back to MFP - there are plenty of people here who've walked your path, and can provide you with a world of support.

brenn24179

I would do what I do on this site, ignore the bullies and just get with the people who have a lot to offer and concentrate on yourself and do what is best for you. Make yourself great and leave them in the dust!