Is it wrong not to comment or like a private diary
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PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »I just want to give my 2 cents as someone with a closed diary that no, I don't think it's rude at all! I used to have my diary open, but I found that it resulted in more frequent comments on my dietary choices than I was comfortable with (be it during a discussion in the forums or from friends on my page). As an example of what I mean, sometimes I will weigh out a proper serving (according to package directions), then find that the MFP entry doesn't have it by weight. However, I know that I weighed out the gram equivalent of a 1/2 cup based on the package so logging it as such results in the same calories/macros being recorded without my having to re-enter the whole thing. Other users see this "1/2 cup", assume I'm not weighing and offer a diatribe on the inaccuracy of measuring cups. This discouraged me, so I cut out the cause.
Having said all that, I also recognize that many people are suspicious of a closed diary and hesitant to congratulate an accomplishment they don't have any information on! And further, I get the impression most people don't expect congratulations on these auto-generated posts anyway
Ugh. This why I a) closed my diary, b) turned off the newsfeed posts for it, and c) rarely even "complete" it anyway. Had a few jelly bellies logged and got a lecture on how the candy industry is evil and it's all a conspiracy to keep us addicted and all this nonsense. Like "Hey, I just want some damn jelly beans. Get off my *kitten* about how I want to spend my last 24 calories for the day, huh?"
The only time I like or comment on someone's newsfeed post is if I know that they need the encouragement for whatever reason. Either they're new, having trouble, been down on themselves or whatever. I assume most people are as annoyed by the flood of notifications they have to clear from their phone as I am when they haven't really done anything special.
Same, I like my friends updates so it'll give them a notification and keep them logging/exercising etc. But, I don't think it's rude if you don't. I don't always do it, I only do it if they haven't exercised or tracked food for a while.
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Christine_72 wrote: »I'm glad you asked this. I've got a few friends who have locked diaries, but then complete it so it posts on the newsfeed, why why why? What's even more confounding is the likes and 'good job' comments they get :huh: I have never liked or commented on a locked diary, because i have zero idea what the hell it is I'm liking!!!!
Perhaps they like the 5-week prediction?
You can close your diary & get the 5 week prediction without having to post it on the news feed. 1 -
Christine_72 wrote: »I'm glad you asked this. I've got a few friends who have locked diaries, but then complete it so it posts on the newsfeed, why why why? What's even more confounding is the likes and 'good job' comments they get :huh: I have never liked or commented on a locked diary, because i have zero idea what the hell it is I'm liking!!!!
Perhaps they like the 5-week prediction?
You can close your diary & get the 5 week prediction without having to post it on the news feed.
Yep, that's what i did.
I turned off the notification to post my diary on my newsfeed (not that i complete it regularly), because i hate the attention focused on me. It's nice of people to like and post positive comments, but i just get embarrassed :blushing:0 -
I don't think it's rude to not comment/like things. Especially closed diaries.
I almost never read people's food diaries but I do 'like' when they have been completed (regardless of whether or not they went over) because I feel like it's trying that counts. The way I see it even if someone goes way over they are still paying attention and logging which helps create better habits and will help them in the long run.
I got a comment on my food diary the other day that was positive, but still threw me because I kinda forgot that people could read it?
Not that I'm trying to hide my eating habits but I do still feel like food is very personal and it feels strange for someone on the internet to be analyzing it.3 -
Learned something new today and shut this notification down - thanks!
I don't think its rude at all. Every now and then I'll check to see what my friends are up to and any cool recipes, but I'm not doing a deep dive.0 -
Total noob question but how do you even access someone elses diary in the first place?0
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So here's a dissenting view: In my friend's list we seem to regularly look at each others' diaries and bring up to our friends' attention areas of note.
I have gained at least 2-3 valuable insights that I wouldn't have caught on my own from comments made by friends including comments that without a level of friendship that tolerates debate (see added vs natural vs total sugar debates) might not have ended well; but, with a level of friendship that does tolerate debate were thought provoking and interesting.
I also believe that on a few occasions suggestions or insights that I put forth were later explored and adopted by people on my friends list.
We often also get ideas from each other, sometimes good (go bunnies! <i.e. extra fruits and vegetables>) and sometimes... just "interesting" (multiple people eating scones on the same day a few weeks ago was NOT a coincidence)
I am not going to claim that it is easy to do. It is quite time consuming, and fraught with risk if the people in question are defensive, and not willing to examine and re-examine their habits and choices.
But, since I don't pay a dietitian to review my habits and choices, having a few knowledgeable MFP friends do so is quite welcome!
And hey, if I don't want the feedback I can always let them know that I am not interested in receiving feedback and/or unfriend them.
As to the OP's question:
Closed diary means no comment and i would would expect people with closed diaries to turn off the "I completed my day" notification. The exception being people who have announced they are struggling and have asked for support and who, invariably, get asked to confirm how close to target they got before being applauded.
A not completed diary means no comment, the exception being people who I know well enough to know that they just forgot to complete (or friends I want to get a rise from
)
Completed diary is obviously an invitation to comment.
Of course most of my friends have been on MFP for a long time and know that their notifications can be adjusted and the level of interaction all this entails means that my friends list has to remain small.0 -
Lillymoo01 wrote: »Total noob question but how do you even access someone elses diary in the first place?
If a person's diary is open to the public, you can click on anyone's profile and a tab will come up to view their diary.
What's mostly being discussed in this thread is when you have someone on your friends list and they complete their diary for the day, and they haven't adjusted their settings not to, you will get a notification on your news feed with a "view diary" link.0 -
I just copied and pasted this thread on my newsfeed, asking people with locked diaries what they think of this discussion
Maybe a lot of them aren't aware that they can deactivate diary posting... 2 -
Completed diary is obviously an invitation to comment.
Not that obvious, considering some of the replies in this thread.
Unless someone says they're having trouble staying under their calories, or says they're always under or at goal but aren't seeing results, their logging and dietary choices should not be seen as being up for discussion.
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I do sometimes, it's nice to encourage someone. I could say I jogged for 30mins and actually didn't and get likes when no one will no if I really did or not. I give the Benefit of the doubt. But it's neither right or wrong. If u don't want to that's no biggy0
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PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »Completed diary is obviously an invitation to comment.
Not that obvious, considering some of the replies in this thread.
Unless someone says they're having trouble staying under their calories, or says they're always under or at goal but aren't seeing results, their logging and dietary choices should not be seen as being up for discussion.
As an MFP friend I expect you to comment on choices that I make that will impact my ability to reach my goals, unless I give you a clear indication that I am both aware of the issues and not really trying to tackle them at this time.
If you're willing to let me drown without the benefit of your insight... why are you occupying screen space on my news-feed?0 -
PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »Completed diary is obviously an invitation to comment.
Not that obvious, considering some of the replies in this thread.
Unless someone says they're having trouble staying under their calories, or says they're always under or at goal but aren't seeing results, their logging and dietary choices should not be seen as being up for discussion.
As an MFP friend I expect you to comment on choices that I make that will impact my ability to reach my goals, unless I give you a clear indication that I am both aware of the issues and not really trying to tackle them at this time.
If you're willing to let me drown without the benefit of your insight... why are you occupying screen space on my news-feed?
If you are having issues and have a network of friends for support, why are you not asking for help? You expect to people to come and find you, scrutinize you and read your mind?3 -
I dont mind liking when someone posts their end of day under their limit closeout, that's the point, to come in under your limit, and some days its a battle to do so, so no reason why i cant throw a like, whether I see what they ate or not. Its part of why most folks get friends on here. I dont comment of course if it's not open, and dont often look if its open, unless they also had a comment of their own, or its unusual for that friend, or one who's really struggling. if you are too far below, that is below the safe limit, it doesn't generate the completed diary link anyway.
I have my diary open just because, why not, but that doesnt mean every day i expect people to tell me about what Im eating, Im going to eat what i eat anyway and I dont need someone to tell me to change it, and they may not understand something, and as was mentioned, just because it read cups doesnt mean i didn't weigh the serving in the grams that were marked on the package. Many of the entries only list the volume on the package, not the grams. My diary is for me, not them. i dont require people to tell me how to eat, in fact I dont want them them to. I certainly dont expect them to "like" it, but i dont mind if they do either. But its good to share with youre friends that you are logging and participating- if i had a friend who wasnt bothering to log anymore on a continued basis, unless i really got to know them and understood what they were doing in maintenance, I'd drop them, because there's no point to be linked if they aren't taking this seriously anymore.
I give people the benefit of the doubt on most things, unless its so outrageous I question it, and I generally dont respond on things where people are logging calories for what should be their usual daily activities (dishwashing, cleaning etc). But they arent doing it for my likes, its for their own reasons. Encouragement is nice, but not make or break.
I try to keep my status mostly related to my weightloss journey or things that affect it. For most friends, i dont really care about their latest personal adventures, what TV they watch, their weather etc, as if it was a facebook post. We're connected here for the journey, not because we actually know each other and are BFF's. There's a select few I have really connected with, but most I just want to share support for this calorie counting lifestyle. Just my take.1 -
I keep my diary closed. I tried opening it for a while, but found the comments, even the good ones, were interfering in my ability to be honest about what I logged. My dietician is an MFP friend and she's got the code to unlock it, but that's it. My closing it out does post (didn't know there was an option not to) and I'm leaving it like that. I honestly never gave much attention to that particular notification. I've read a diary here and there, mostly out of curiosity, but I pay more attention to and "like" log in days (over 100), and weight loss numbers, as well as personal comments.0
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I had mine open for awhile but the comments on how I eat less than 1000 calories a day was getting old. I eat a lot of good food during the day and it works for me. Why comment anyway? Sharing recipes/meals, fine. Getting advice, better yet. Negative comments... hit the road.0
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I leave my diary open, but have never received an unsolicited comment, guess my meal planning is a bit dull, not inspiring
Now I wish we had a page views count, to see how often others look at our diary.2 -
Christine_72 wrote: »I just copied and pasted this thread on my newsfeed, asking people with locked diaries what they think of this discussion Maybe a lot of them aren't aware that they can deactivate diary posting...
1. I think my diary might be locked ... not sure. Sometimes I open it, sometimes I lock it. Update: just checked and it is indeed locked/private. Good.
2. I am aware I can activate and deactivate what appears in my newsfeed. I have set it up the way I want it, and the way I want it shows that I have closed my food diary for the day, and either I am under my calorie limit or not. But my newsfeed shouldn't show that I've friended someone, or have been on MFP for 650 days, or anything like that. I'll double check it. Update: just checked and it is indeed set up the way I want it. Excellent!
3. I will "like" anyone who closed their diary for the day and was under their calorie limit. I really do not care what that person ate. Not my business. Also not my business if that person fudged their numbers or not. If their goal is to be under their calories and they feel they are under their calories, then great ... "Like!".
4. I will not go into another person's diary and judge their food choices, and I don't want anyone making comment on my food choices. What a person eats is up to that person. When my food diary is locked, that is to ensure that no one gets tempted to make a comment on what I ate. Not anyone's business.
5. I also don't have time to look at anyone's food diaries ... but I do have time to throw them a "Like" if they are under their calories and that is their goal.
6. It is nice to get a few "Likes" here and there for both exercise and completed food diaries.
7. And I do like closing my food diary to see the "In 5 weeks thing" I also close it so that it will appear in the Reports.
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