I'm afraid of being stronger than men.

xtxtxtx

I'm female obviously. I recently started strength training after making tons of excuses not to haha. Guess what? I love it!!! LOVE it! It feels great and I'm looking great, and I love the whole lifestyle!
However, I do have this nagging fear of like, being stronger than men. Wouldn't that severely limit my dating pool? Because personally, I wouldn't want to date a man weaker than me. The guy I'm currently somewhat interested in doesn't have any muscle and I feel like now that I'm into lifting squatting and pressing, he's pretty much off the table. I feel like I need a guy who lifts, but I don't know ANY. What should I do?
PS I know people will call me superficial but I can't help but love a big strong man. it's some primal instinct in me.

Karen_can_do_this

I lift weights. I love it. My husband virtually runs screaming away from the mere mention of weight lifting. However he is still stronger than me and probably always will be. There is some part of me that is drawn to my big strong tradie.

It takes a fair while to really really build up your strength to the point of being stronger than most men. Try not to stress about it too much. Enjoy lifting and enjoy life. If you're going to let the fact that he is not very muscular turn you off, then he probably isn't the one for you anyway.

livingleanlivingclean

Are there no men at your gym? They lift, don't they?

If you associate with like minded people, with similar hobbies, you'll meet people who enjoy similar things to you. Perhaps join a different gym with a focus on powerlifting or bodybuilding...

Or, get the guy you like in to training. I know plenty of couples who train together, and one of the pair has started because of the other. I started training because my now husband did...

xtxtxtx

livingleanlivingclean wrote: »

Are there no men at your gym? They lift, don't they?

If you associate with like minded people, with similar hobbies, you'll meet people who enjoy similar things to you. Perhaps join a different gym with a focus on powerlifting or bodybuilding...

Or, get the guy you like in to training. I know plenty of couples who train together, and one of the pair has started because of the other. I started training because my now husband did...

I never know how to approach the guys at the gym. They're busy working out I don't wanna bother them heh..:/

livingleanlivingclean

xtxtxtx wrote: »

livingleanlivingclean wrote: »

Are there no men at your gym? They lift, don't they?

If you associate with like minded people, with similar hobbies, you'll meet people who enjoy similar things to you. Perhaps join a different gym with a focus on powerlifting or bodybuilding...

Or, get the guy you like in to training. I know plenty of couples who train together, and one of the pair has started because of the other. I started training because my now husband did...

I never know how to approach the guys at the gym. They're busy working out I don't wanna bother them heh..:/

I'm sure they rest in between sets. Maybe ask for some tips, or a spot

canadianlbs

xtxtxtx wrote: »

Wouldn't that severely limit my dating pool?

well, i guess . . . but if strength is one of your dealbreakers i can't say i see how that's such a bad thing. to be brutal about it because i am tired and can't word, you'd end up rejecting them anyway, right? so i don't see how it matters if they never get into your pool to start with. saves you trouble and saves a lot of probably-perfectly-nice men some distress.

xtxtxtx wrote: »

I never know how to approach the guys at the gym. They're busy working out I don't wanna bother them heh..:/

not my business, but is it critically necessary that you need to approach them Right Now? what comes to my mind is that if you love lifting and you're always going to be int he gym anyway, the only reason why this would matter would be if it was. otherwise, time and familiarity just naturally seems to create 'relationships' between regulars. by relationship i dont' mean a dating thing, but people get to know each other.

Alatariel75

If you already go for big strong men, I promise you it will be a long, long time before you are stronger than them.

dutchandkiwi

xtxtxtx wrote: »

Wouldn't that severely limit my dating pool?

Maybe, then again it may bring in some focus.
And just for the record not all men are intimidated by strong women. Also people can have muscle tone without living. My husband is a runner, not much in they way of weight lifting, but when he is in his running shape he definitely has muscle on him.

amusedmonkey

A man who never lifts, on average, is stronger than a woman who does, also in average. You would need to be at it for long with pretty nice gains to "outstrength" your average pool of men, so you won't have to worry about that for a good while.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8477683

TavistockToad

xtxtxtx wrote: »

I'm female obviously. I recently started strength training after making tons of excuses not to haha. Guess what? I love it!!! LOVE it! It feels great and I'm looking great, and I love the whole lifestyle!
However, I do have this nagging fear of like, being stronger than men. Wouldn't that severely limit my dating pool? Because personally, I wouldn't want to date a man weaker than me. The guy I'm currently somewhat interested in doesn't have any muscle and I feel like now that I'm into lifting squatting and pressing, he's pretty much off the table. I feel like I need a guy who lifts, but I don't know ANY. What should I do?
PS I know people will call me superficial but I can't help but love a big strong man. it's some primal instinct in me.

How will you know how strong they are? Will you ask them how much they deadlift on the first date?

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld

I've seen smaller looking men far out lift men who looked bigger.

loztandfound

The only thing that's narrowing down your dating options is you... lifting doesn't 'take anyone off the table', you either like someone or you don't. Try going for not your normal, you might surprise yourself. My preferred partners have something that my current partner doesn't, and we're 10 years in to this relationship... can't be that bad!

AnvilHead

https://www.facebook.com/UNILADFitness/videos/1688350891464714/

sijomial

Ask them to spot you while you are bench pressing - that will give you an idea if they are big and strong men.

jemhh

Oh good lord.

You are unlikely to be stronger than that many men at this point. Your dating pool is wide open. Believe me, there are plenty of men who do not lift who are and forever will be stronger than you.

I'm a huge fan of strength training but the idea that I'm even close to as strong as my husband is laughable. He'll readily admit that I can outsquat him (and I have a relatively puny squat) since that something he never does but he is 6'2" and 225 lbs and can out-strength me on anything.

Chef_Barbell

sijomial wrote: »

Ask them to spot you while you are bench pressing - that will give you an idea if they are big and strong men.

LOL!!

gamerbabe14

In college, I loved being stronger than men. It was a fun party trick to put someone on your back and squat them with a beer in your hand. I also got laid a lot.

wellthenwhat

And that's a bad thing?

SweetHeresy

My thoughts have always been, if a man is intimidated by your strength, then you should both see other women. Lol.

Lizarking

Weight lifting shows a level of dedication and accomplishment. Being attracted to that is definitely NOT superficial.
You rock, and don't settle for someone that doesn't (in your eyes.)

Ironandwine69

You should incorporate arm wrestling on first date. If you win, no second date.
Problem solved.
You're welcome.