Weightloss. Im so over myself. Everything i have tried has failed.

Francl27

You should go see a dietician.

yellingkimber

There's this show called Worst Cooks in America that's geared to people that have the same problem that you're having and I think it would really help you out. As far as learning what to do with food and how to cook it. It used to be on Netflix, but I guess they have a few full episodes on FN.

nowine4me

There are are some easy ways to feed yourself a lower calorie diet with minimal effort: schmear almond butter on a flat out wrap, banana and protein shake for breakfast. :30 seconds all in. Lean Cuisine over a bag of frozen broccoli, 3 mins for lunch. Frozen salmon, black beans and asparagus, 5 mins for dinner. Effort is minimal, but planning is crucial.

wonmon

stanmann571 wrote: »

birdseye microwave bag veggies.

I go through a billion of these each week. They're great for lazy people like me, and you can just mix in some of that Tyson pre-cooked chicken and a little bit of soy sauce and bam, you got a warm meal that will fill you up with the laziest possible preparation. The stores around me frequently have them on sale so I fill up my freezer for pretty cheap.

Also, when I'm being strict with calories, it's usually a lot easier to calculate for lazy meals like this anyway, rather than meals with actually prep where I might be adding in oil/butter to cook with or sauce or something that could throw the count off.

tabletop_joe

Please don't put off goals because of your weight. You deserve to have a good life, and that includes going after your dreams in whatever body you're in now, even as you work on changing it.

Very best of luck to you. ❤️

jenilla1

Therapy may be very useful to you.

HippySkoppy

Life was hard being morbidly obese. When I weighed 278 lbs, EVERYTHING just surviving was a struggle within my self-imposed prison. My weight impacted every facet of my existence negatively and that just gets worse as you get older. I hope you can believe me when I say that how well someone copes with the stress of extra weight at 20/30 years of age is a totally different story by mid 40 to 50 years and beyond.

You have written a very insightful piece about your reasons why losing weight has always ended in failure. Why not use this insight to find the answers to your roadblocks.

Truly the ball is in your court. Each excuse you have does have an answer but that really has to come from you.

On MFP I have seen the sentiment of "Losing weight is hard" "Being obese is hard", pick your hard.

I hope you have peace around whatever choices you make and I agree with another poster here, don't wait for some magical outside transformation to occur before you tick off the things you wish to do, go for it now as there is no guarantee of tomorrow.

VainMommy

HermosaKas wrote: »

I dont get that far. I have tried it, yes, but if im continuously falling into a pattern where i cant feed myself, what am i logging?

I didn't have the time to read through all the replies but. You must log and stay under or at your calorie goal. This may not be the best advice but try buying prepackaged healthier foods so cooking isn't a big obstacle.

I live in Costco here are some example of what I buy/eat:

-Organic frozen mixed veggies with chicken mozzarella burger patty
- one fried egg and two slices of bacon
- Skinny pop for snack
- Apple & red pepper chicken sausage with mixed veggies
- Frozen pizza
- Amy's organic lentil soup
- Skittles when I want something sweet

VainMommy

And My Fitbit has helped me tons!

doo3cat

All the advice here is worthwhile and you should consider it all, but do what will work best for you.

Remember:
Success is falling down 9 times but getting up 10!

Keep trying, do something different, get as much help as you can find to figure out the best way for YOU to deal with the emotions and issues that keep you from your goals. Set small goals so you have frequent victories.
You can do this, you know the basics, now cut out distractions.

Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels.
Good luck (remember, luck has NOTHING to do with it!)

tdesignr

If you're interested in listening to motivational podcasts, I recommend Half Size Me. I started listening to it while lifting weights and find it a great way to reaffirm that I'm doing my best for *me.* The very first one I listened to was about how Plan A can work great for Jane Doe, but that doesn't mean it works great for you. E.G. You mentioned feeling averse to/not having much time for cooking often. Me too! I gravitate toward things that are easy to whip up or microwave -- Lean Cuisine meals, veggies that can be cut up at the beginning of the work week, cottage cheese, almonds, eggs cooked over medium or "eggs in a basket" style, etc. Frozen meals tend to have a lot of sodium in them and they're "processed" food. But it's also a baby step to portion control and eating something healthier.

Which leads me to another philosophy that's helped me, personally: Baby steps. I started out drinking light vanilla almond milk, which packs 30ish grams of sugar in a 16 ounce drink. And then I slowly weened myself down to unsweetened (I mix protein powders in these drinks, so they do still get some sweetness). I first focused on eating healthy for a few days with no working out. Then I started working out. Then I added 15 minutes of cardio before my weights and leg weights after my 30-minute cardio sessions. I lost 65ish pounds when I moved from the Midwest to East Coast. Gained 40ish of it when I moved back to the Midwest. I kept falling off the bandwagon because I thought I had to be at the same exercise momentum of my 65ish-pounds-lost self. It may suck psyche-wise, but starting back at the start line is easier (I'm 51 days back in at the moment).

I've also realized I can capitalize on my laziness. Haha. Pre-packaged things -- or things you can portion off yourself if you're wanting to be more environmentally friendly ... baby steps -- are my BFFs. I'm less likely to binge eat something if it's not in front of my face.

And whipping back to Half Size Me. A great quote was mentioned in one I listened to last week that really stuck with me and I had to write down: "Imagine a pre-framework for a house, like this pre-constructed, perfectly beautiful picture. And we force that framework into our lives. We make room for it. We move around and say, 'This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to force this into my life.' The reality is your life is already a pre-structured framework. So now we've shoved two completely different things in the same space. You will stop doing some of the things you do now or you will alter them to make room for this new thing. But eventually the holidays are going to happen. Vacations are going to happen. Kids will be off from school. Whatever. Something will happen to what is already in existence. And it's going to cause you to have to stop what you're doing over here with the program. What I make the argument is why don't we look at what already exists. Instead of bringing in another framework, another infrastructure, why don't we learn about your infrastructure? Why don't we pay attention to what you currently do? And start to modify that. Start to rebuild the foundation. Start to restructure the walls. Start to put in new windows. Start to remove and change things. It's kind of like buying a fixer upper and knowing what you're getting and seeing it has good bones and being willing to put the work in to change it versus looking for this brand-spanking-new house ... That's already completely created and feeling like that's the one you've got to have only to find out later that it wasn't really the one you wanted. Or it wasn't sustainable. Or it wasn't the one that met all of your needs."

Yeah, my Lean Cuisines are pre-processed and have sodium in them. And my roasted cauliflower is from a frozen steamer bag. But it's sustainable for *me.* That's important for keeping up good work in my book. We're human and not perfect. ^_^

NancyYale

You CAN do it. Just make small changes. Work hard on letting go of the all or nothing stuff. That always brings nothing in the end.

Your eating habit don't have to be perfect. I lost the majority of 120 pounds eating mostly packaged food. It's the calories that count. Over time I made healthier eating more of a priority. It's a process and it doesn't have to happen overnight. You CAN learn to make simple things and their are a million simple recipes on line. Start with roasting a huge pan of veggies and thing like chicken. Make a ton on the weekend and portion it out for the week. Google is your friend.

All you really have to do is not quit.

yourfriendlaurie

I feel your pain. I can say that I was in this starve/binge, lose/gain cycle for years and years until I was finally truly ready to change and then I just did. I wish I had a better answer. The answer is to track your food and eat fewer calories than you burn, but you know that. The emotional answer is harder. You have to want it more than you're afraid of it, that's really what it is.

But the 100% real answer is that you track everything you eat and you eat less than you burn. That's really, truly how it works long term. You won't always see the results on a day-to-day basis or a week-to-week basis, but it catches up overtime as long as you're eating at a deficit and tracking honestly.

Two tips that helped me a LOT when I started and may help you:

1. In the beginning, I didn't change WHAT I ate, I only changed how MUCH. So for the first few months, I was eating a lot of fast food, a lot of frozen dinners. To go from eating 100% crap to making gourmet meals from scratch was too much to ask of myself. In the beginning, I just ate below the number of calories I needed to maintain my weight (it was a LOT more than 1,200 calories/day!) but I ate easy crap. This worked just fine. Eventually I started wanting to make healthier choices but it was a gradual change.

2. Simple, simple, simple. Buy chicken sausages (80-100 cals/each and VERY filling) and just fry them in a pan, no oil, no bread. Buy chicken breast and cook it or buy it pre-cooked. Low cal string cheese or those light babybel cheeses. Tuna. Olives. Pickles. Simple, low calorie, low carb, high protein is how you'll stay full, lose the cravings, and not drive yourself nuts in the kitchen. I'm not saying you have to eat this way forever but it's a tool to get through a tough day or week. Simple foods.

You've done it before, you can do it again. I agree with others that so much of it is mental. Pretty much all of it is mental.

yourfriendlaurie

I also wanted to add that the #1 change this time (when I've succeeded) vs. all the other times (when I've failed) is that I. do. not. give. up. Period. Giving up is NOT an option. It's literally not. So if I have a bad week and I eat all the things or I get stressed at work and dive headfirst into a stuffed crust pepperoni pizza, well, that sucks. That set me back. But I just pick myself up and get back on track. Not tomorrow, today. Right now. That is the difference in why it's working this time and has not worked in the past. It's been almost two years of steady weight loss (with a few brief periods of maintenance). I screw up, but I don't give up.

tdesignr

I also try to capitalize on my being a visual person. I take photos of myself at various stages, in various outfits. And I use Instagram's Layout app to pair "then" and "now" photos side-by-side. Even at five pounds difference, you might be able to see changes here and there. I'm so tickled at seeing my back fat rolls shrink in them. Or how my baggy shirts are actually baggy again like they were when I bought them in a previous yo-yo journey.

The Half Size Me podcast recommended some extra tidbits for this practice: Cut your face out of it. It can help you feel more impartial and removed from analyzing the photo. You could also do this for a favorite outfit/clothing item that you hope to get into or back into; have some fun seeing visuals of how better fitting it can be on you during your weight loss journey. Granted, I haven't done that last tidbit. It sounds great visually, but putting on said tight clothing makes me feel annoyed with myself even if it is brief before I take it off.

Aaaaand lastly, if statistics on yourself can boost your motivation, I recommend trying out a Fitbit. I have the Charge 2 and had the Charge HR before it (band warped on that one, hence the replacement). I like analyzing my workout momentum -- seeing my pace get better, my moments in peak heart rate lessen, my resting heart rate lower, etc. Just 51 days in and working out 4 days a week, my average weekly resting heart rate dropped 10 bpm.

pamfgil

if you want to learn to put together a meal, there are websites that give instructions, see http://www.organizeyourselfskinny.com/2014/10/23/a-beginners-guide-to-once-a-week-food-prep-20-starter-recipes-and-meal-prep-ideas/
or https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/a-step-by-step-guide-to-meal-planning-and-prep/
or just search under " how to learn meal assembly"

Jirachii

If you only want to cook big meals, Tupperware and measuring cups are your friend. Pack it all away before you start eating. Label each container certain days, meals, and don't touch them until then. Otherwise, try cooking singular meals. My go to lunch is chicken and broccoli on rice. I have a rice cooker, but the chicken and broccoli takes like 6 minutes in a frying pan with half a tablespoon of olive oil. I struggle to want to cook sometimes, too. But logging everything before you eat and redefining what hunger is to your body really helps! I hardly ever feel "full" anymore, which is what I used to associate with hunger and take three bowls of chili to get there. Now, one bowl of chili gets me satisfied, and that's good enough for me.

But seriously if you cook in big pots, put it all away! There is psychological research behind the idea that you are less likely to get more food when it is not in front of you. *pre* log your stuff and measure it out! Best of luck you can do this

TimothyFish

HermosaKas wrote: »

I have lost 75 lbs before. Felt great, was awesome, compliments starting rolling in, men started hitting on me, i got complacent. It all crept right back up. 100lbs gained. Now im sitting at 398. Maybe more.

Couple months ago i had a personal trainer. Saw great results even though my diet was still trash. Starving and binging. I was in way better shape though. Now i have gained that weight too.

I know my issues, just cant seem to get around them. Avoidance. I avoid everything that hurts. I put it off.

When it come to the food, i try to eat healthy. I go to the grocery store with a grocery list full of things that are healthy with no ideo how to implement them in a meal. I spend $50 or so of money i dont have. I come home, put it in the fridge and leave it for 3weeks or i try to cook it, and then leave that in the fridge for 3 weeks. I have no idea how to fix this. I dont even effing know how to feed myself. Im 21 and this has been going on and off for 3 years. I can never get it right. It sounds so stupid typing it out, but i. Have. Tried. And this is how it always happens.

The only time im able to cook something and actually eat it is when i cook big pot meals, i.e chilli, tacos, soup. Something where all ingredients are cooked in the same pot. Problem with this is that it often is not balanced, and its the only things i have so it becomes breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack for as long as it exists= binge.

Plus, i cant seem to get rid of the all or nothing mentality- which is to say i keep trying to wright until my diet is in order before i exercise.
I dont mean to sound like a brat, but there are sooo many things i want to do, i want to travel mexico and spain. I want to go back to school. I REFUSE to do it with 200 more lbs in the passenger seat. Please help

I hate the concept that someone has to spend money to lose weight. That makes no sense to me. If I'm eating less than I normally do I should be spending less money, not more. When I was losing weight I bought all the same stuff I normally did but I ate less. Instead of fixing one hot dog I would fix one. Instead of two cups of macaroni and cheese I would have one. Instead of eggs, bacon, and toast for breakfast I would have just eggs and bacon. You get the idea. Less food, less money.

My fitness goals, however, changed things. My goal for the year is to burn 300,000 calories on a bicycle. As you can imagine, that means I have to eat more. Eating more means spending more. It also means I have to keep my bicycles in good shape. That also requires spending some money. But there is no reason to think that weight loss requires spending money. If it did, all poor people would be extremely obese.

HeliumIsNoble

HermosaKas wrote: »

I go to the grocery store with a grocery list full of things that are healthy with no ideo how to implement them in a meal. I spend $50 or so of money i dont have. I come home, put it in the fridge and leave it for 3weeks or i try to cook it, and then leave that in the fridge for 3 weeks. I have no idea how to fix this. I dont even effing know how to feed myself. Im 21 and this has been going on and off for 3 years. I can never get it right. It sounds so stupid typing it out, but i. Have. Tried. And this is how it always happens.

Actually, it doesn't sound stupid at all, and you're not the only one who does this.

Making large changes to your life is overwhelming to start with, and there is such an abundance of "information" around healthy eating, because it's all got caught up in aspirational lifestyle blogging. It can all become horribly intimidating, and then the panic about how to tell if the food has already gone off starts, the decision paralysis kicks in, and before you know it, it has rotted.

So. Stop it. Pick a maximum of ONE food that you don't currently eat each week. Look up recipes for how to use it, and then plan how you're going to cook it and when before you go and buy it.

If you want, I am sure people on this forum will be happy to walk you through how to easily incorporate particular new ingredients into your current meals.

lilacfields

Hi there
I realise you've already had a lot of replies and perhaps the whole weight-loss thingie might be feeling a bit overwhelming? I can understand that - you've decided you've had enough of being overweight and want to do something about it. Great - let's go!! Trouble is that can often feel like a lot of pressure to get things right from the off.

Perhaps consider taking a few deep breaths and slowing things down... you are more than capable of doing this - but it will take some time. So sit back and settle in for a period of time (probably several months or even a couple of years) where you are focussing on yourself and what you'd like to achieve. It will definitely be worth the effort.

The eating side of things doesn't need to be complicated - breakfast and lunch can be pretty quick to do - today I had porridge (oatmeal) done in the microwave for 2 mins with a little milk and water and topped with strawberries. Lunch has been 2 crispbread, 2 boiled eggs, 2 slices of ham and a small avocado. Dinner can be easy too, as easy as maybe roasting some chicken portions (or buy ready roasted), peeling and boiling some potatoes and cooking some peas (frozen in the microwave perhaps). You will adapt things to suit your needs as you develop into this. You'll find food solutions that fit your requirements and schedules. As others have said here, it doesn't have to be 'clean eating' all the way or even at all! Do what suits you - if pre-made ready meals suit you, go with that. If you feel like cooking once a week, great. Just find whatever works for you. I wish you well on your health decisions and progress.