Best responses to "You look pregnant/Are you pregnant"?

WanderingRivers

So my mother met me for lunch yesterday to bring me my half of a kilogram of salmiak pastilles and her first words upon seeing me are "T! Are you pregnant?!" Of course I'm embarrassed as all get out and response "God no, I'm just fat!" I know my mother wasn't raised in a barn but IDK how to respond when she asks me that just about every time I see her. Ideas?

usmcmp

When I used to get that question I would reply with, "No, are you?" It worked for men and women, no matter how old they were.

ETA: Since it is your mom I'd tell her that she doesn't need to ask, she'll be the first one to know if you do get pregnant.

Theo166

Since mum is just winding you up, tell her it's getting old and rubs you the wrong way.
Tell her to find a new button to push, that she needs a new shtick

Lounmoun

"No, Mom. I'm still not pregnant. I wasn't last time and I am not now. I would let you know if I were pregnant. I am overweight and carry weight in my belly area as some people do. It is commonly known as an apple shape. Other people carry their fat evenly distributed while others get big hips and thighs. This is how I happen to carry my excess weight. Asking me every time we meet if I am pregnant is both hurtful and uncomfortable mom. You know I am overweight so you need to stop this. I want to enjoy our visits together."

lorrpb

"Yes! I can't believe you forgot!"

Alatariel75

"Yes, but its not mine. I'm just carrying it for a friend"

Then when she gets butthurt, tell her "Ask a silly question, get a silly answer..."

ParanormaLauren

"Yes! It's a burrito. My husband and I are so happy."

Because I'm a wise *kitten*.

It's a little tougher to handle if it's a customer at work though. Good customer service practices don't often include snark. A simple no for those folks.

nevadavis1

Constantly get asked this. All the time. By people I know and total strangers. One stranger grabbed my belly.

"No, just fat" is my constant response.

LauraInTheWater

Tell her it's rude and to stop asking. Tell her why it hurts your feelings. Your honesty will not only be a practice in setting boundaries but your vulnerability in expressing why it hurts you may end up bringing you closer together. That's what I've done in the past. Also, a woman should know better than to say that to another woman. Some women truly don't know it, though.

T0M_K

i think F U works.

Lizarking

"Yes but I'm getting an abortion this afternoon"
That'll shut 'em up

HazyEyes93

I always say, "Nope, just fat." That's usually enough to make them feel pretty bad. lol

Mycophilia

Illegitimate food baby.

Bex953172

Lizarking wrote: »

"Yes but I'm getting an abortion this afternoon"
That'll shut 'em up

That's an awful thing to say..

WanderingRivers

HazyEyes93 wrote: »

I always say, "Nope, just fat." That's usually enough to make them feel pretty bad. lol

I've tried that. It works about as well as a square wheel unfortunately.

I do want to thank everyone for their suggestions and will have to recall to use them the next time she comments on my weight.

MsMaeFlowers

"No I'm just fat, but thank you for pointing it out to everyone."

RunsWithBees

I thought you'd never ask! Let me show you the ultrasound pic:

BLawyered

*kitten* off and die in a fire?

BLawyered

Kitten!!! Hahaha!!! Ugh... fork me

BLawyered

Lizarking wrote: »

"Yes but I'm getting an abortion this afternoon"
That'll shut 'em up

Best. Response. Ever.

BLawyered

Bex953172 wrote: »

Lizarking wrote: »

"Yes but I'm getting an abortion this afternoon"
That'll shut 'em up

That's an awful thing to say..

No... asking or assuming that someone is pregnant is the awful thing to say... that response is what makes crystal clear just how awful it is. Imo

emdeesea

I had that happen once. I just answered in deadpan, "No, I'm just fat."

I was in a really bad mood and I know it made the other woman feel bad but I didn't care. It's completely inappropriate to ask a stranger that question.