Binge Eating

1982__Emma

Hello all :-)

I guess I wanted to open a discussion about binge eating disorder, which I suffer from and have suffered from for some time. Looking at me, you wouldn't know that some days I can eat calories allotted for five or six days, in one day. I secret eat, so no one knows about it, but it is telling in my weight yo-yoing up and down. Some days I will be on a strict regime, be at the gym and eating good nutritious food within my recommended calorie intake.

Yes it is a comfort, but it makes me feel guilty and makes my self esteem plummet. The level of self loathing I have towards myself after a binge day is overwhelming, and I have now taken to using laxatives after a binge day to 'empty myself out'. Stupid, yes. Some binge days last a day, some binge days last a week. This current binge day has lasted almost a month.

There will be some people who don't understand, I am sure some of you will think 'just stop eating', but it is difficult to explain to someone who has never experienced the binge cycle.

Curious if there is anyone else who experiences these feelings and what you have done/are doing to help overcome this?

Emma x

KeepRunningFatboy

You are not alone Emma. There are quite a few that share your struggles. I've met many over the 4 years I've been on here. Search on Amazon for the book Brain over Binge. It may not be your answer but you might be able to relate. It's complex, for some it's emotion, for others it's triggers, and others it's due to the cycles of dieting and restrictions. NEDA is an organization you can google and offers some support. You might benefit from therapy. But the struggle you feel is very painful, and there is help. Unfortunately, it's tough to beat it overnight, it usually takes time. You are welcome to friend me or probably most of those on my friend list have struggled with BED or Bulimia.

SimplyJess000

Know that you are not alone. Take it one day at a time. I try to catch myself when I start and take some deep breaths. Maybe even counting back from 1000 in my head. Sometimes that helps. And know that once you start binging, it's not too late to stop. You can put the fork down. You can walk away. You can do it. I hope that helps. Best of luck with everything and I hope you feel better soon!!!

_Namaste_Heart_

Eating disorders are difficult to overcome (from experience). You are not alone, and support is crucial to success. @KeepRunningFatboy gave a great suggestion about NEDA - they even have online (anonymous) support groups. I appreciate how difficult it was to put your story out here - you have friends

annobrien889

Your not alone I also binge eat yesterday was a bad day for me made myself sick four times becsuse I ate so much but each time I do make myself sick the guilt starts about what im doing to my body and the cycle continues

DannyYMi54321

Yup, me too, binge and some purging behaviors throughout my life. It's usually not about food.

1982__Emma

Thanks all for your replies, great to feel no judgements and a lot of support. Yes my binging is not really about food at all, it masks a whole lot of other things!

sunlovingcamper

I have had the same binging/healthy eating cycle issues. I just gain weight then I lose some or all of the weight I gain when I pull myself out if the binge. I haven't figured out any way to conquer it, but Right now I've been ok for a few days. I feel like every day I have to remind myself of my why I want to be healthy and make a conscious decision to eat well/don't begin a binge by getting a bunch of junk. Every time I walk in the store, I have to think about how bad I would feel if I ate the junk food I'm thinking about grabbing. I know it is ok in moderation, but generally if I grab anything sweet it either triggers more cravings or I won't be able to resist eating the rest of a package. I basically have difficulty with moderation.

Anyway, you are not alone. Feel free to friend me, if you'd like and if you find anything that helps you, I'd welcome any suggestions. ☺

dacapo69

I have similar issues. One thing I'm doing differently this time round (in the past, I simply wouldn't record binge days in MFP) is to record everything. Part of my binging is wanting to disappear, the avoid reality, escape into fantasy, disconnect. I continue to be curious about that desire and to work on it. Meanwhile, at least I've recorded the facts. I can look for patterns. (Did I have enough water in the day? When did I last eat? What did I eat? etc.) Plus it helps connect me to reality and to the real life consequences of my choices. This objective approach can keep me from spiralling into further subjective emotions that might perpetuate the cycle.

1982__Emma

Wow there are a lot of things I am relating to on here. For two months I was counting calories, hitting the gym, and losing weight at a good pace. Then one day it basically all went downhill, and when I binge, I binge hard, so much so that the weight I have lost has come back, in month! It is very much an escape and I totally disconnect from reality, I isolate myself and don't want to leave the house as I feel that everyone is judging me. Now I am not hugely overweight, I do have kilos to lose and my ideal 'look' would probably make me underweight. I am all or nothing, there is no moderation.

wellthenwhat

I have what I would call a mild binge disorder. My binges are just half my days or all my days calories in a couple hours, and it's hard to stop. I'll eat whatever I have, I can binge on cauliflower, and in fact, last time I felt one coming on, I went for the cauliflower, and it really helped the fast eating urge. By the time the cauliflower was gone, I was able to slow down and think about what was going in my mouth.

faidwen

Just remember, it is NEVER too late to start again. And hopefully each time, you will become a little stronger.

All or nothing is not a good attitude to have, you have to cut yourself some slack and realize we are all human.

Mistakes are made, but it is never too late to get back up, dust yourself off, and continue. BE HAPPY!!!!

SuperCarLori

dacapo69 wrote: »

I have similar issues. One thing I'm doing differently this time round (in the past, I simply wouldn't record binge days in MFP) is to record everything. Part of my binging is wanting to disappear, the avoid reality, escape into fantasy, disconnect. I continue to be curious about that desire and to work on it. Meanwhile, at least I've recorded the facts. I can look for patterns. (Did I have enough water in the day? When did I last eat? What did I eat? etc.) Plus it helps connect me to reality and to the real life consequences of my choices. This objective approach can keep me from spiralling into further subjective emotions that might perpetuate the cycle.

I relate to this. I hide my diary. Heck I even hide it from myself, like if I don't log it, it didn't happen? I've just begun to force myself to log it all. It's actually helping me...

nattashleigh123

Bless you, I won't give any uneducated advice (since I've never dealt with this) but I hope you find a way to beat it and find happiness

1982__Emma

Thanks all for your support, I have been overwhelmed with the number of messages I have received with others experiencing similar issues when it comes to food, feelings of self worth, poor self esteem, negative coping mechanisms etc. It has been fantastic to hear from you all, keep it coming.

Happy Easter all x

mila_lova

I'm sending you tons of hugs. I've struggled with BED for years. I used to purge, but I haven't done it in one year. The thing that finally worked to motivate me to learn healthier behaviors is falling in love with my boyfriend. We have a serious, committed relationship and I want to be healthy for him and our future. I almost purged on Thursday, but I couldn't face him finding out I started again.

Good luck! Try to find something that motivates you, like a passion you want to be healthy enough to pursue.

nowine4me

dacapo69 wrote: »

I have similar issues. One thing I'm doing differently this time round (in the past, I simply wouldn't record binge days in MFP) is to record everything. Part of my binging is wanting to disappear, the avoid reality, escape into fantasy, disconnect. I continue to be curious about that desire and to work on it. Meanwhile, at least I've recorded the facts. I can look for patterns. (Did I have enough water in the day? When did I last eat? What did I eat? etc.) Plus it helps connect me to reality and to the real life consequences of my choices. This objective approach can keep me from spiralling into further subjective emotions that might perpetuate the cycle.

I'm in the same boat, but have found that logging every last morsel as noted here is actually a bit liberating. Logging everything doesn't typically stop me in the moment, but it seems to help me get back on track more quickly. So a binge for me is a 3,000 calorie afternoon of cookies and ice cream, but not a weekend or worse.

jpeemoeller

Try hypnosis, I found it helped to 'reset' my brain but I've been bingeing over the holidays and then I can't stop. I may go in for a session soon to remind my brain how I feel when I do this and to not give in the the craving.