Embarrassed about losing weight

RunWinterGarden

I generally don't talk about things like this, but I'm a more private person. BUT, now that I'm down 17 pounds year to date I'm getting asked a lot about it and I'm more than happy to discuss it! I also make it clear that I'm not done and that I have 30 more to go. Really, once I'm told that someone can notice it, I am more willing to talk about it.

Cj0426

One of the first steps on the road to making this a permanent lifestyle change and not just a short term weight drop is to be up front with others about your goals and effort. It places some accountability on you- I.e., "well I can't give up now because I've told everyone and made it a big deal." It also helps you to define what your aspirations are, and allows your family and friends to offer support and encouragement.

dutchandkiwi

Cj0426 wrote: »

One of the first steps on the road to making this a permanent lifestyle change and not just a short term weight drop is to be up front with others about your goals and effort. It places some accountability on you- I.e., "well I can't give up now because I've told everyone and made it a big deal." It also helps you to define what your aspirations are, and allows your family and friends to offer support and encouragement.

That may well work for you, and if it does go for it! But I have issues with your blanket statement that it is a have to thing to share it with others. Shouting it to each and all may well work in the accountability stats for some. For me it would turn me into a rabbit frozen in the headlights of an oncoming car and set up up to certain failure.

I am a private reasonably introvert person, though many people would be surprised to hear that. The very last thing I needed/wanted was other 'encouraging' me. I know many people like it, I am just not one of them. I am doing things for me, because I want to do that. For me the accountability is always on me.

For me that is a personal lifestyle change, I need to do it for me. Nobody needs to know until I have found my groove. People still do not know my goal (which is good as I keep moving it down). As I am down to a point that there is no denying that I have lost a significant weight it still makes me terribly uncomfortable to discuss it with a number people for a number of sometimes different reasons. It is not only just embarrassment, but also infringes on my private space in some cases.

But as said if that works for you, feel free to do it, just won't work for all

Goddess0921

yvettekeaton wrote: »

Hi everyone, I've started, and restarted and restarted many times. Didn't want to share with anyone for fear of failure. This last time, I made the decision to get healthy for myself. I would give time to everyone/everything else, so finally felt I'm worthy of the same effort, time and attention. I still haven't told anyone outside of my daughters (21 & 19). If someone notices, I just say 'thank you' and keep it moving. I don't diet, just make different lifestyle choices. If I want a salad, I'll have a salad, if I want a burger, I'll have a turkey burger. Having my MFP community has made all the difference to me staying encouraged and motivated. Thanks so much for sharing.
All this thread, feel free to add me.

THIS. I have tried to lose weight so many times. People just assume I'll fail again. So I don't want them to know I'm even trying.

The difference is, this time I'm doing it for ME. I have a completely different outlook now...for the first time ever.

krist_krau

It also makes me feel weird if people know that I am, so to say dieting, but then have some "bad days" and eat junk food all the time. Or if I go to gym regularly and then stop.That definitely makes me think that they think that I lost it again or have no self control. I rather stay quiet about me losing weight, as it seems to work the best for me.

TARGET65K

Embarrassed about losing weight NO NEVER
But I was embarrassed by gaining weight.

Therealobi1

Cj0426 wrote: »

One of the first steps on the road to making this a permanent lifestyle change and not just a short term weight drop is to be up front with others about your goals and effort. It places some accountability on you- I.e., "well I can't give up now because I've told everyone and made it a big deal." It also helps you to define what your aspirations are, and allows your family and friends to offer support and encouragement.

this doesnt work for everyone.
i have seen many people on here that want this kept private and hate the thought of others commenting on their journey

megzchica23

I'm not embarrassed but I don't really tell anyone I'm trying to lose weight. I tell them I'm trying to be more healthy. Which is the truth. I'm not in this just to lose weight. I'm in this to make a change to my life that is permanent to be a fit and healthy person. To be active, to give my body the proper fuel it needs. To build up my immunity and not get sick as much, to lower my blood pressure, to regulate my stomach issues, all these things are important to me and it keeps me from giving up as well because if the scale doesn't move, I still see the changes I have made helping me. And if anyone should be embarrassed that you are getting healthy, it should be the people who are content with being unhealthy.

tabletop_joe

dutchandkiwi wrote: »

Cj0426 wrote: »

One of the first steps on the road to making this a permanent lifestyle change and not just a short term weight drop is to be up front with others about your goals and effort. It places some accountability on you- I.e., "well I can't give up now because I've told everyone and made it a big deal." It also helps you to define what your aspirations are, and allows your family and friends to offer support and encouragement.

That may well work for you, and if it does go for it! But I have issues with your blanket statement that it is a have to thing to share it with others. Shouting it to each and all may well work in the accountability stats for some. For me it would turn me into a rabbit frozen in the headlights of an oncoming car and set up up to certain failure.

I am a private reasonably introvert person, though many people would be surprised to hear that. The very last thing I needed/wanted was other 'encouraging' me. I know many people like it, I am just not one of them. I am doing things for me, because I want to do that. For me the accountability is always on me.

For me that is a personal lifestyle change, I need to do it for me. Nobody needs to know until I have found my groove. People still do not know my goal (which is good as I keep moving it down). As I am down to a point that there is no denying that I have lost a significant weight it still makes me terribly uncomfortable to discuss it with a number people for a number of sometimes different reasons. It is not only just embarrassment, but also infringes on my private space in some cases.

But as said if that works for you, feel free to do it, just won't work for all

^^My feelings exactly. Plus, I don't derive motivation from feeling accountable about stuff like this. I didn't tell anyone I quit smoking years ago and was very successful. Some people are just less "rah rah" than others, and we should each do what works for us.

PaulaWallaDingDong

I'm getting to the point where I don't want to talk about it outside MFP either. I was never one to want to be in the spotlight, and nowadays, as often happens when you're successful, the comments are taking on more of a negative tone. The only time I'm actually glad to talk about it is when asked how I feel. That kind of question comes from a different place, and doesn't make me feel like such a freak show.

kenyonhaff

I'm not embarrassed about losing weight, but I've been modest. I don't want to be one of those people obsessively talking about diet and exercise and stuff...I come here for that. I'll happily chat with others about it in real life, but I don't go out of my way to do so. It does make some people uncomfortable for various reasons.

Also, yeah it's a real accomplishment. But there are values and goals I hold higher, too. Weight loss is important, but not as much as being kind, doing good work, working towards a better world, and so on.

crowed1993

Add me!

Theo166

What really matters is getting your close family and friends on board with your loss journey. People outside that circle are superfluous, more of a distraction.

lthames0810

Last night my elderly mother remarked proudly about my weight loss right in front of my sister who struggles with her weight and who is in despair about it lately. I felt very embarrassed about it and I felt awful for my sister. The subject was quickly changed and the awkward moment passed without comment.

Still feel badly about it, though.

FaeryLove18

I wouldn't say I felt/feel embarrassed, but that if they know and I don't achieve my goals then its like I let them down. I know i am the one who wants and needs to lose the weight, but in the back of my mind thats how I feel. It is that fear of failure that keeps me quiet around everyone other than my mom and of course being on here.

Brimstone14

Not as embarrassing as being fat and uncomfortable in my own skin.

If you try to lose so weight, you have a problem that you have identified and you want to commit to resolve it- that's the opposite of embarrassing.

philsy1

I have a positive talent for losing weight, but a short attention span. So, regaining is what I get embarrassed about, and mostly to myself. I still have some more lbs to lose, but I'm trying to look ahead to the post-loss era to apply what I've learned to maintenance. The problem is that one can't be certain of the future until it's past!

mca90guitar

I don't bring it up to anyone, don't see the need. If they say it looks like I'm slimming down I say thanks.

Can't say I'm embarrassed by it, more embarrassed I let myself get to where I'm at now.