Asking for help

Rredwards1212

My name is Rachael and this is a struggle. It's my fault I've became the biggest I've been in my life. I feel my body is ruined and damaged forever. I feel defeated. It's a terrible feeling when my 9 year old daughter wants to give me a hug but I don't want her to hug me because I'm so big that I don't want her to feel my fat rolls and the only thought that comes to my mind is "she can't get her arms around me anymore". Really?!?! I should NOT be feeling this way! Ugh!
I've always struggled with my weight. I'm turning 40 in August and I weigh 210 lbs. Heaviest weight EVER! I eat the wrong foods, I'm a complete chocolate addict, AND I'm lazy. I do not drink pop except maybe once a week. It's all water, water, water. I used to jump up out of bed at 4:30 am every morning, go to the YMCA and workout; be home by 6:00 am for my husband to leave for work. I haven't done that in over a year; making every excuse possible within that year. I keep telling myself "I'll start tomorrow" and well, tomorrow never comes. Oh the worst part is - I'll get up at 4:30 am - but only to come downstairs, sit on the couch and play games on my phone or Facebook or whatever, just NOT go to the YMCA.
I need guidance, motivation, encouragement, AND most of all support.

Ironandwine69

How bad do you want to hug your daughter? If it's bad enough, put your food down and start going to YMCA.

PS. Your daughter loves you and wants to hug you no matter if she feels your fat or not. You should do this, so you love yourself and you enjoy your daughter.

FourLynne62

Is it possible for you to partner up with an exercise buddy? Sometimes, being obligated to get to the YMCA because someone is waiting there for you is incentive. I would also talk to your doctor about how you are feeling, too. About your daughter, you may feel what you feel but understand that all she feels is someone she loves. You are worth loving! You're not damaged forever, you've just hit a speed bump. If you don't feel like going out, and would rather play games on your phone...stand up and walk in place the entire time while you are playing those games. Just get moving! It will be a start towards the door and back to the gym. Hang in there, God bless!

SquirrelSuitcase1980

Hi Rachel, don't feel defeated!
I too am my heaviest ever! I too have done it all to myself. I had started dieting and excerising a few years ago, was really proud of myself and what I'd lost and achieved, then just let it all go. Now, after weighing myself for the first time in a year, could literally sob myself into a coma.
My mum and step dad have suprised us with an all expenses paid trip abroad at the end of MAY!! I'm a single mum and have never taken my daughters abroad (only work part time, so never quite managed to leave the UK for holidays) so I *should* be so excited... all I wanna do is hide away and not go This was my spur to get started again, I'm not going to ruin this holiday for them.

I'm no diet or fitness expert, but I'll share how I've started all over again, as of yesterday.

Try not to look at the huge task ahead (omg so hard to do), it feels enormous and impossible and overwhelming. You are not defeated, you can do this, you really can. Start again.

Fill in food diary every day, even if you go over calories for the day, it gives you accountability and you can look back and see what went wrong on bad days. (Chocolate is also my krytptonite.... let yourself have it as treats and log it, curly wurlys are what I get in, they last a while lol).

Start small, don't feel you have to go all out on exercise right away, seems such a huge task to getting up early everyday and huge workouts, don't put that pressure and those expectations on yourself. Go take your daughter out for a walk, go to the park etc, then work up to what you want to be doing. Also, let her hug you, she loves you! She's hugging her mom, not checking out how far her arms go round you, I promise you

I've put a chart on my fridge to mark off pounds lost in half pound markers. Even marking off half a pound at weigh in day is a huge achievement when it's been an utterly crappy week. That visual, however small the progress is something to be proud of and helps to keep you going. Same with exercise, I'm marking off 30 min blocks at each time, walking the dog, playing with the kids, walking to park etc. Doesn't sound like a lot, but compared to what I was doing a few days ago, sitting on my butt, on my phone etc, it's an achievement, however small! Sometimes the achievement is just getting out and going some days!

It's bloody hard to get started, but you're on here asking for help and support; you've already begun! Please don't be so hard on yourself, I wish you all the best and I'm sending you a hug! If you need any support, I'm here too, just started yesterday... 187lbs at weigh in.

lifeisahighway

Hey! Oh my gosh I know exactly how you feel. I really do. I was 244 pounds and felt so ashamed. I am down to 166 and want to get to 135. I'm 5'3". I lost the majority of my weight from the YMCA and at home workouts. We used to go to the YMCA for 2 hours every day and I wouldn't see results as much as when I would do my workouts at home. I know how you feel about not wanting your kid to hug you. My kids come up to me (still) and jiggle my love handles when they hug me. It bothers me so much. I have three kids ages 3, 5, and 7. I would love to be your friend and we can motivate one another.

leigh199538

feel free to add me

6102Beus

Hi Rachael, I hope you can get past how you feel about yourself and let your daughter hug you, hugs are awesome

fittmack

Hi Rachael. I know the feeling. I was there before. The best advice I can give is that you have to remember that you are setting an example for your daughter. I have a 12 year old and even though she is 5'5, 106 lbs (her dad's genes), she still looks to me to teach her to eat healthy. She now works out with me. Let living a long life for your little girl be the motivation you need. And I would delete any apps that are distracting you until you meet your goal. That's one reason this is the only form of social media that I have. Hope that helps.

Dumbbell69

You can do this!!! Here to help, add me if you like.

projectalice13

Yes! Please add me too! I need friends to keep me on track with nutritional goals (my biggest failure in fitness habits). I'll do this with you.

DietPrada

You have to move past the pissing and moaning and decide what your priorities are. I did it for 20 years, complained about being fat, hated myself for my lack of will power, destroyed my marriage (if I hate me how can he possibly love me) you name it. Find your reason, and get on with it. Make those changes each day, a bit at a time until it's habit. I lost my Dad last year to diabetes complications. I do not want to die the way he did. Maybe your child is your motivation. I was 273 at my heaviest (5'10" female). I'm 186 now. It's taken me 4 years, but think where I'd be now if I continued to piss and moan and do nothing.

crowed1993

Add me!