Quitting Drinking?

Moxie42

In the past I've seen threads about people considering quitting drinking, and there's been a lot of great suggestions, site referals, etc. However, I can't seem to find those threads through the Search tool, so I'm posting a new one (sorry if it's repetitive).

Basically, drinking is the #1 reason for my weight gain and failure to lose weight. Between the calories I drink, and the resulting bad food choices, it's a big issue. It's really hard for me to admit this, but I know I have an "unhealthy relationship" with alcohol. I honestly don't know if I'm alcoholic or if it's something I can learn to control. I don't know if I can cut back, or if I should quit entirely, at least for a while. But I do have an easier time not drinking at all than sticking to just a couple drinks. And the one time I quit for 30 days because I was doing Whole30, I felt amazing! But it was only a couple weeks before I was drinking at the same rate I was before the 30 days.

I'm not sure what I hope to get out of posting this...maybe hearing about people who have had similar struggles, and seeing what worked for them? Online resources than can help with a concern like this? Idk. All I know is I'm sick and tired of the self-sabotage. I want to eat healthier, work out, and be healthier overall...but the drinks just get in the way, and it's definitely not just because of the calories (I drink mostly vodka in seltzer water...or wine...not much beer or high-cal sweet drinks).

88olds

I went from 285 lbs to about 220 just not drinking for about 1 1/2 years. Pretty much ate what I wanted. Wasn't around so much fried bar food, and pizza. Didn't miss it.

I too wondered where I fit in the substance abuse spectrum. Turned out just to be a bad habit. No one was more surprised than I was.

cmriverside

I don't think the label is really important at all.

If you feel alcohol is a problem, the solution is to stop.

Stopping completely is so much easier than attempting to have one "now and then" if you've already established a problematic relationship with alcohol.

(ask me how I know)


There are lots of online resources, from the AA site and its literature to podcasts, other forums, etc.

I've never regretted NOT drinking. Three years sober this time around, about 20 years sober total.

Libby283

I am probably an alcoholic. I love to drink. I am currently trying to avoid it for the most part, but I do not want to give it up completely. Drinking is a part of me. I enjoy it and I failed at keeping it out of my life so I need to learn how to fit it into my diet.

I am going to go to my favorite winery on Saturday and I am going to drink the entire bottle. I will log it and keep moving on towards my goal.

LZMiner

Alcohol is a huge part of my social life. It is what it is! Whenever we're with friends, we drink. I did go the entire month of January alcohol free. It was hard at first, but the results were great. I felt better, slept better and overall looked better. I'm back to drinking, but usually only two days a week....not easy, and I'll admit, it sometimes makes me change my plans! I'm not one that can go out with the girls and just say I'm not drinking tonight cause it's Wednesday---easier for me to stay home with a book!

I don't think you want to quit drinking...you just want to reduce. It's not easy. Good luck! And I'm happy to be your sounding board if you just need to hash things out.

SmithsonianEmpress

Lol! @Libby....not the WHOLE bottle huh?!??! It's just funny the way you put it.

To OP:
Alcohol was giving me a gut and putting on the lbs for me some odd 10 years ago. I stopped cold turkey and never looked back. I think I may have had, maybe two sips (on separate occasions) before gagging, in those 10 years.

That being said PLENTY of people drink wine, alcohol, at their leisure and under control. This may go beyond you asking MFP for assistance with your diet. Maybe address the seriousness of the issue first and then losing weight second.

Libby283

SmithsonianEmpress wrote: »

Lol! @Libby....not the WHOLE bottle huh?!??! It's just funny the way you put it.

To OP:
Alcohol was giving me a gut and putting on the lbs for me some odd 10 years ago. I stopped cold turkey and never looked back. I think I may have had, maybe two sips (on separate occasions) before gagging, in those 10 years.

That being said PLENTY of people drink wine, alcohol, at their leisure and under control. This may go beyond you asking MFP for assistance with your diet. Maybe address the seriousness of the issue first and then losing weight second.

Oh I plan to drink the entire bottle.

Stella3838

LZMiner wrote: »

Alcohol is a huge part of my social life. It is what it is! Whenever we're with friends, we drink. I did go the entire month of January alcohol free. It was hard at first, but the results were great. I felt better, slept better and overall looked better. I'm back to drinking, but usually only two days a week....not easy, and I'll admit, it sometimes makes me change my plans! I'm not one that can go out with the girls and just say I'm not drinking tonight cause it's Wednesday---easier for me to stay home with a book!

Wow! This is almost exactly me too!!

OP - If you think it's honestly a problem, then stopping it likely the way to go. But if it's the social aspect (like it is for me), that's a hard habit to break. I'm down to one or two moderate days a week now, but it took a lot of discipline to get there. I LOVE craft beers, but at 200+ calories a pop plus all the high calories foods I would eat several times a week just had to stop. I went January without drinking too and it really helped me. Now, I can have those one or two nights with a couple drinks and I feel good about it. I fit them into my calorie target and I even have some of those higher calorie food, but in much more moderation. Best of luck to you!!

slider728

I will share my story, you can ignore it if you like. I hope there is something of value for you in there.

I had a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

When I was in college, there was a joke that was common at our school (and there was quite a bit of truth to this joke among the students). What's the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic? Alcoholics have to go to those damn meetings every week.

I was a drunk. At my worst, when i was on the road, I was drinking a half of a 1/5th of rum every day in my hotel room after work, plus what I drank in the bar, plus what I drank with meals, plus what I drank in hotel happy hour.

I knew I had a problem and I knew I was waist deep in the problem. At the time, i traveled. Alcohol was just what we did. It was our mechanism we socially bonded. It was the mechanism we celebrated. It was the mechanism we drowned our sorrows in. Our travel group was fairly close. We celebrated our good moments together and we were there for one another's sorrows.

After about 5 years of that lifestyle, I began to look at what I became. I was a drunk. We worked hard and we played harder, but I was still a drunk. I made excellent money and it looked like I had my life together, but alcohol was still a huge part of my life.

I have never been to a meeting or received help in conquering my drinking. I happened to find my savior. I found an angel, my guardian angel. Given the events going on in my life about that time, I believe God put her on earth to find me and save me. Why would God waste their time with me? I'm not sure yet.

About a year into my professional career, I met this lovely young brunette. Fairly shortly after meeting her. I had the feeling that she was different than the other woman that have came and went in my life.

When i was on the road (which was probably 50% of the time or so, give or take), I was this raging party animal. I drank too much, I smoked, I had a great time, at least I thought I was having a great time. When I would come home to my girlfriend, none of that mattered. Don't get me wrong, she and I drank and smoked, but as time went on, it was less and less. When I would go back on the road, I would become this rampart drunkard again.

Being as dense as I can be sometimes, I began to realize the highlight of my day is the 30 min or hour that I would set aside everyday when I was overseas to talk to her. The best 5 minutes of my life was when I driving to her house from the airport and knew that I would be able to feel her arms around me again and smell her hair as she put her head on my shoulder.

I realized (again slowly because I am not always smart) that alcohol was my self medication. It was what I was using to try and replace a missing piece of my life. That missing piece was my girlfriend, now wife.

I quit traveling as the lifestyle was not a healthy one and I wanted to be with my gf/wife. Alcohol quickly faded into the background.

I virtually gave up alcohol for about 7 years. In that 7 years, I think I had 5 or 6 beers to test the waters so to speak to see if I could stop at just one. Each beer I had was a carefully calculated decision on my part. I chose the time and the place to ensure I stopped at 1.

I started traveling about 20 years ago and I met my wife about 19 years ago. Do I drink now? Yes, I do. Do I drink a lot? I might binge drink on a Friday night with friends, but I rarely drink at home and if I gave up alcohol tomorrow forever, I would not be sad about it.

When I was a drunk, the scariest thing to me was thinking about life without alcohol. The idea of not having alcohol was scarier than the idea of being an alcoholic. A number of years after I got control of my drinking, I had the opportunity to review a book entitled "Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget". It was like reading an autobiography.

Every addict has to find their own reason to stop unhealthy behavior. It has to be a reason that they believe in above all else. Not everyone can gain control of alcohol on their own like I did. I would venture that most can't (I'm not saying I'm special, I just happened to be lucky I think). If you want to give up drinking, find your reasons why you are drinking and why you want to stop. Once I figured those out, stopping was easy.

Sorry for the long post Anyone who knows me knows I tell too many stories and talk too much. I hope you find something useful in my tale.

monet4190

This is 100% where I am today, too. I decided that I'm going to finish the bottle of wine I have open tonight, and then quit for a while. Not forever, but right now drinking is stopping me from achieving my weight loss/fitness goals, and I decided that is more important. I'll reevaluate once I get there. (Plus I'm spending WAY to much on wine/gin and alcoholism and other addictions run in the family, and I don't want to be a younger version of those relatives.)

Jessicarip

This is totally me. I completely blame my treatment of alcohol for my weight ups and downs over the years. I rarely enjoy just a glass or only "one".... I binge.

But, I do that with food too, so am learning to control both. I have learned through years of dieting (and also a Whole30) that I really am not happy if I have to give anything up entirely. I just don't want to live that way. It is hard, and I don't have an answer for you as I think it is personal and I myself am finding my way. But you are not alone in this at all, and I thank you for letting me know I'm not either.

Moxie42

Thanks for all the responses! I can't reply to each one (swamped at work today) but I am reading and seriously thinking about every single one.

I do think I need to quit completely, at least for a while, until I can enjoy life without drinking and am not thinking about it all the time. I truly enjoy things like wine tasting, so I hate the thought of never ever doing that again. I want, SO badly, to just enjoy it occasionally with friends and on special occasions. But right now it's not just a social thing, or even mostly a social thing. It's actually the worst when I'm home by myself, when no one is there to notice how much I'm drinking. Bad sign, right?

I actually relate a LOT to @slider728 in the sense that the thought of never drinking again is scarier than the possibility of being an alcoholic (another bad sign), and that I get confused because although I have problem to one extent or another, I'm functional. It doesn't affect my job, friendships, or marriage...it just affects how I feel, physically and psychologically. So it's easy to think "it can't be THAT bad..."

It's encouraging to know that a lot of people have stopped drinking, and eventually were able to control it. I've had this fear that if I admit to the problem, it means quitting for life. Maybe I need to start with quitting for a month or two, and reevaluating from there...instead of freaking myself out and not quitting at all because I'm thinking about events that are several months away. Maybe I do need to quit for life, but maybe that's not what I should be deciding on right now.

rachelr1116

Drinking didn't cause me to gain weight but it certainly wasn't helping me lose weight either. Until a few years ago I hardly ever drank, then I discovered craft beers and local breweries. My best friend and I used to go out almost every weekend for "a beer" that would always turn into several beers. I'm sure there were weekends that I wiped out my entire week's calorie deficit on beer. At the end of November I made a decision that I just wasn't going to go out drinking anymore. I thought the increase in the number of migraines I'd been having might have something to do with alcohol so that was a good motivator. My friend has not stopped drinking and she gets frustrated when I won't go out with her to breweries but I feel so much better and I haven't been struggling so much with my weight loss. Also, I don't have to feel guilty about going out drinking when I should be spending time with my husband (he doesn't drink) and my son

PaBeany

Hi OP, I am an alcoholic in recovery. 8 months sober.

I used to think that if I could just cut back or quit for a bit then I'd get my drinking under control and then my life would fall into place. I used to wonder, sometimes casually, sometimes more seriously, if I maybe had a problem. I now know that wondering if you have a problem means that you do have a problem. I was told that about 7 years ago, age 21, and I didn't listen.

I've learned a lot from being sober for this length of time but I've also learnt that just being dry isn't going to teach you anything. Today I am genuinely happy and confident in my own skin, thanks to the power of AA. I'm still overweight, but I'm as confident as I was 10 years ago (and at my goal weight) because I can hold my head high and I know I'm respecting myself. I am eternally grateful for the hand of friendship given and the beautiful examples of happy, healthy people that I meet on a weekly basis.

Feel free to message me if you have any questions

WestCoastCyclist

Everyone is different - here is what worked for me.

My drinking had steadily gotten worse over the years, and in November 2015 I realized I had a problem, and needed to change. For me, drinking on my own was a major problem (with triggers of boredom, loneliness, *kitten*-it and my body hurting), but I was also drinking too much with my close group of friends (we all drank a lot - probably a lot to do with why we are friends).

I stopped drinking on my own for six months, and for the first few months, did not drink with my group of friends. I still had one drink when out with other friends, or the standard one glass of wine with my parents for Sunday dinner.

I drink occasionally at home by myself, but stick to smaller amounts of craft beer. I still do not buy wine or bring it home - it's too hard for me to not drink the whole bottle. Basically, I go with what is easiest and keep re-evaluating what is working and what isn't working for me. So far, I'm doing okay with this plan, but if it stops working then it may be easiest for me to not drink at all.

Merrysix

Just to say that it is entirely possible to stop drinking (I did 25 years ago) and still have a lovely, glorious time. I found AA helpful. I didn't want alcohol to do to me what it has done to various relatives, which is not pretty, and I found it easier just to stop than to constantly worry about "how much" and "when". Didn't solve my overeating though.

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aayruda

I liked the book KICK THE DRINK by Jason Vale. I think it's always good to be open to extra help if/when the time comes but this helps you see alcohol in a different way. Not sure if I agree with everything in it but consider it 'data collecting' & may help you find what works for you.

audie96

Hi there, I completely understand...I gained tons of weight from alcohol as well. However, some people can decrease the amount they drink and some cannot. I am not one who could decrease, I had to quit. Since quitting, I focus on my spiritual, mental, and physical health. Weight loss and making good food choices is included in my focus. I would suggest going to an AA meeting. Only because you may discover that you belong in those rooms or perhaps you won't. Look for the similaritrs, not the differences...listen to the stories of the people in the room, you may hear something that resonates with you. Once I stopped drinking and started working on myself, everything else has fallen into place..I am now married with 2 little boys, I am finishing up graduate school, and I am proud of myself. Not just for the weight loss but the opprtunity to achieve the goals I set for myself with a clear state of mind. Good luck to you and I wish you nothing but the best!