Partner diagnosed with very high cholesterol at 37 yo. How can I support w/o nagging?
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alaskagrown
Posts: 208 Member
Some background.... if you just want the question, skip to the end....
So my SO was just Dx with high total cholesterol (285) and high LDL (205). He's youngish (37) and skinny-fat. He's 5'10" and weighs about 150. He walks about 45 min 2x/day to and from work but otherwise does not exercise regularly. However, when we went on the Camino de Santiago last summer he was easily able to crank out 20-25 miles a day without complaining.
I cook all of our meals, including making his lunch. This is by choice as I LOVE to cook and he's not into cooking at all. He cleans the house and does the dishes instead. We eat what I might call a "Mediterranean"-style diet: lots of veggies, beans and lentils but some animal products nearly daily, a bit of red meat or a sausage in the beans, etc. Our downfalls are cheese and bread; I've cut out most bread but we both love tortillas and anything that goes with them. (Which is everything, BTW).
He was adamant that he wants to try diet and exercise before going on statins. Now IF IT WERE ME (words I want to avoid saying to him at all cost) I would go full low-carb vegan for three months and just see if it works. If it doesn't, I'd have to find another way. But he's not me.
There is SO much conflicting information out there about sat fats and animal products and their effect on cholesterol. I'm assuming due to his age that it's genetic and not likely to be affected much by diet, but I want to help him try.
The issue is that he hasn't really talked about it at all. He told me about the diagnosis and "I'm going to try to eat healthier, cut out beer and quesadillas" etc, but he's kind of forgetting that I do the cooking and nearly all the shopping. I brought it up a couple of times but he gets grumpy and impatient. Should I just change our diet myself based on the research I'm doing? Should I remind him if he eats junk/animal products? He's not usually a bad communicator, so maybe this has just hit him hard and I should wait a bit and ask again?
If you've ever been through this diagnosis as either the affected or the partner, please help!
So my SO was just Dx with high total cholesterol (285) and high LDL (205). He's youngish (37) and skinny-fat. He's 5'10" and weighs about 150. He walks about 45 min 2x/day to and from work but otherwise does not exercise regularly. However, when we went on the Camino de Santiago last summer he was easily able to crank out 20-25 miles a day without complaining.
I cook all of our meals, including making his lunch. This is by choice as I LOVE to cook and he's not into cooking at all. He cleans the house and does the dishes instead. We eat what I might call a "Mediterranean"-style diet: lots of veggies, beans and lentils but some animal products nearly daily, a bit of red meat or a sausage in the beans, etc. Our downfalls are cheese and bread; I've cut out most bread but we both love tortillas and anything that goes with them. (Which is everything, BTW).
He was adamant that he wants to try diet and exercise before going on statins. Now IF IT WERE ME (words I want to avoid saying to him at all cost) I would go full low-carb vegan for three months and just see if it works. If it doesn't, I'd have to find another way. But he's not me.
There is SO much conflicting information out there about sat fats and animal products and their effect on cholesterol. I'm assuming due to his age that it's genetic and not likely to be affected much by diet, but I want to help him try.
The issue is that he hasn't really talked about it at all. He told me about the diagnosis and "I'm going to try to eat healthier, cut out beer and quesadillas" etc, but he's kind of forgetting that I do the cooking and nearly all the shopping. I brought it up a couple of times but he gets grumpy and impatient. Should I just change our diet myself based on the research I'm doing? Should I remind him if he eats junk/animal products? He's not usually a bad communicator, so maybe this has just hit him hard and I should wait a bit and ask again?
If you've ever been through this diagnosis as either the affected or the partner, please help!
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Replies
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High cholesterol is more genetic than anything else. And if he's not overweight, even moreso true.
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I found the books Keto Clarity, The Great Cholesterol Con, and The Cholesterol Myth as interesting reads about cholesterol. Peter Attia has a great series of blogs on cholesterol too.
They basically discuss the imporance of high HDL and low triglycerides over total cholesterol, which is not a very useful test. LDL is not very handy either-knowing LDL particle size would be more useful.
I would do more tests to determine if his high numbers are actual problem.5 -
Do you know anything about his family medical history? Given what you have posted here I'd be concerned about familial hypercholesterolemia, in which case diet and exercise have very limited effectiveness at lowering levels
I'd be surprised if his doctor didn't address this with him when they went over his test results.
He may be 'grumpy and impatient' about it because he's scared. I'm his age, and I'd be scared if I got that news.3 -
Yeah, seems likely it's FH. He's Jewish and there's some history w/ family (though not, like, EVERYONE). We're on an HMO and our docs don't really do much besides send us noncommittal emails and have five minute convos. The doc said to give it three months of diet and exercise and he'll check him again.0
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Some of us have high cholesterol. I was diagnosed with similar #'s at 30. At one point I got it down to about 230. Here's how: eating 2-3 apples a day (skin on), oatmeal 5-6 times a week (real oats, not instant), eating almonds daily, eating flax seed daily (in yogurt, oatmeal & pancakes), lots of beans (you do that). I also upped soy protein, took fish oil daily and tried to eat a teaspoon of benecol/promise activ every day instead of butter. I avoided red meat & dairy. After 6 months the cholesterol had dropped and my tolerance for apples and oatmeal had, too. And I was pretty darn crabby. Don't know if it was one thing in particular or all together. I still eat oatmeal with almonds, oat bran and flax seed a couple times a week (well, I try) but it is back up. Some stuff I've read suggests eating fish a couple times a week can help (but then there's the mercury issue). I figure, something will kill you anyway.
Many of us with genetic high cholesterol life long, healthy lives without statins. My grandmother's cholesterol was over 400 constantly. She lived to 83 and didn't die of anything heart/cholestetol related...
If he doesn't smoke and exercises regularly, he should be okay. It's frequently sedentary + hc +smoker that kills young.3 -
I have FH and what worked for me was a low fat,low cholesterol high fiber diet. I do have to take statins though,in less than 6 months of eating this way coupled with the meds my cholesterol is now in the normal ranges(for the first time in over 15 years). I was thin too when I was diagnosed with high cholesterol,but didnt know it was FH until the last year. for me diet and exercise alone did not help.
If he has FH low carb/high fat is not the way to go as those of us with FH have livers that dont process fats and cholesterol like most people,it signals our brains to make more and any excess can be stored as fat pads. I ended up with those and xanthomas/xanthelasmas.
FH is not something to play with,its the kind that can cause heart attacks,strokes and TIAs(it can also be passed down to your children if you have any). if you can get him a genetic test done to see if it is FH.
I was told to keep my fats,especially saturated fats low. so I was told to avoid fatty cuts of meat,red meats,cookies,cakes,pies/any fried foods,white flours,rice, I was told to eat lean cuts of meat,whole grains,fruits,veggies and foods low in saturated fat/fat.so far its helped. I do eat those things once in awhile though.1 -
melaniedscott wrote: »Some of us have high cholesterol. I was diagnosed with similar #'s at 30. At one point I got it down to about 230. Here's how: eating 2-3 apples a day (skin on), oatmeal 5-6 times a week (real oats, not instant), eating almonds daily, eating flax seed daily (in yogurt, oatmeal & pancakes), lots of beans (you do that). I also upped soy protein, took fish oil daily and tried to eat a teaspoon of benecol/promise activ every day instead of butter. I avoided red meat & dairy. After 6 months the cholesterol had dropped and my tolerance for apples and oatmeal had, too. And I was pretty darn crabby. Don't know if it was one thing in particular or all together. I still eat oatmeal with almonds, oat bran and flax seed a couple times a week (well, I try) but it is back up. Some stuff I've read suggests eating fish a couple times a week can help (but then there's the mercury issue). I figure, something will kill you anyway.
Many of us with genetic high cholesterol life long, healthy lives without statins. My grandmother's cholesterol was over 400 constantly. She lived to 83 and didn't die of anything heart/cholestetol related...
If he doesn't smoke and exercises regularly, he should be okay. It's frequently sedentary + hc +smoker that kills young.
not true for those who have FH,I also eat high carb(healthy carbs) and my cholesterol has improved with diet and meds.if your cholesterol dropped that easily then you probably dont have FH. have you been tested for it?0 -
No test needed...long family history of it...and my diet was primarily vegetarian with lots of fruits, veg, grains and very little fried food, dairy or red meat.
Please note: I didn't say it was easy. I said it dropped. You try eatinog that way every day for six months. Not easy. Once you've got all the cholesterol lowering food out of the way, there us no room for anything else. Blech.
Oh...OP, I forgot one other thing I included daily--metamucil (psylluim). Don't remember if I did once or twice a day. I've heard rumors of some sort of muffin you can hide psyllium in...but that would require me to make muffins. Made all oat bran muffins a lot for my gran when she was alive...never seemed to help. And now health professionals recommend lots of leafy greens for it.
I think the big take-away is this: fiber is good and may reduce cholesterol.2 -
melaniedscott wrote: »No test needed...long family history of it...and my diet was primarily vegetarian with lots of fruits, veg, grains and very little fried food, dairy or red meat.
Please note: I didn't say it was easy. I said it dropped. You try eatinog that way every day for six months. Not easy. Once you've got all the cholesterol lowering food out of the way, there us no room for anything else. Blech.
Oh...OP, I forgot one other thing I included daily--metamucil (psylluim). Don't remember if I did once or twice a day. I've heard rumors of some sort of muffin you can hide psyllium in...but that would require me to make muffins. Made all oat bran muffins a lot for my gran when she was alive...never seemed to help. And now health professionals recommend lots of leafy greens for it.
I think the big take-away is this: fiber is good and may reduce cholesterol.
I have been eating that way for over 6 months.no its not easy but its how I have to eat the rest of my life.fiber is good because from what I read it helps the excess fats and cholesterol adhere to it and then your body gets rid of it.if it never helped your grandma then its possible she would have needed a statin back then. some people need to take them. Im one of those people, it sucks,I tried the diet without the meds and it didnt improve much at all.1 -
Thanks for the info, Melanie and CB. Melanie, your info gives me hope that he can beat this without drugs.
CB, if you don't mind my asking, how did you find out you had high cholesterol? How much did your numbers drop when you took a statin?0 -
alaskagrown wrote: »Thanks for the info, Melanie and CB. Melanie, your info gives me hope that he can beat this without drugs.
CB, if you don't mind my asking, how did you find out you had high cholesterol? How much did your numbers drop when you took a statin?
I found out years ago when they did a regular cholesterol test. with the FH I had all the symptoms(the fat pads,high cholesterol that didnt come down much in the past on the low fat,low cholesterol diet with or without meds,diet and exercise). also my dad and aunt died from heart issues,dads cholesterol was high,not sure about my aunts, but my one sister has high cholesterol too. but I started out with very high numbers in the beginning were talking about 700 triglycerides and 500 total or something like that. I was put on the low fat low cholesterol diet(I was thin then), and did that for 6 months. it didnt work.
I then got fat and stayed that way for awhile,I then tried losing weight and thought that would help,but no it didnt help either,I exercised more and again the levels werent coming down much
I then was put on statins and told to eat the same way,it would come down some but my cholesterol was still high.I did that for many many years, then I got to where I had to change statins because they werent as effective and I was having some side effects from them.I then came to MFP to lose the weight I had gained back
I then heard about the keto diet and was told that it would help my cholesterol. so I tried it for a month(this was before I knew I had FH).
I went back to the dr and it was high again. not as high as in the beginning but without looking at my records,it went up again especially the triglycerides. so I was then put back on the low fat,low cholesterol diet with a new medication this time. In 3+ months my numbers were down over half,Im 6+ months in and all my numbers but a few are now in normal ranges including my triglycerides,total cholesterol and HDL is great.
The rest are less than 10 points from being in a normal range. so far no side effects from the meds either.so for me what took over 15 years to conquer took 6 months+ to get under control. my fat pads are also disappearing and my xanthomas/xanthelasmas are going away.so I know the combo is working for me.If you message me I can go into my records and show you the difference between 3 months and 6 months and even more(1 -
There's only one way to know if a specific dietary change will benefit your SO's cholesterol, and that's to give it a go and see what happens in a few weeks with a retest.
My cholesterol levels were just about the same as your SO's, early 40s and I'd already lost a lot of weight. I ate a pretty healthy diet, with lots of fruits and veggies. I cut out all animal products, essentially went whole-foods plant-based, and 4 weeks later my cholesterol levels were much better. The improvement has continued and my cholesterol levels are really good still. I looked at it as a 4 week experiment, to see just exactly what I could achieve by sticking absolutely to my plan. Honestly, anyone can try any change for 4 weeks.
BUT this is only my experience, so you are really going to have to work through this together and make a few choices on what you're going to do. A few sources for whole-foods plant-based are Forks over Knives, How Not to Die.
I wouldn't expect doctors to help. They don't have the nutrition education or the time.3 -
I have high cholesterol. I wasn't obese. I started exercising and eating healthy. My lipids improved but my cholesterol didn't. No matter what I tried, I couldn't prevent medicine. I even tried niacin which is a vitamin which improves for some people but not me.
I truly think trying to eat healthy and exercise is best to try before medicines. High fiber, low fats but good fats. I use olive oil instead of butter. High fiber pasta instead of white pasta. Meats - I go for ground round or sirloin if red meat but normally choose chicken, turkey or pork tenderloin.
You can look into fish oil.
Good luck!0 -
dopeysmelly wrote: »There's only one way to know if a specific dietary change will benefit your SO's cholesterol, and that's to give it a go and see what happens in a few weeks with a retest.
My cholesterol levels were just about the same as your SO's, early 40s and I'd already lost a lot of weight. I ate a pretty healthy diet, with lots of fruits and veggies. I cut out all animal products, essentially went whole-foods plant-based, and 4 weeks later my cholesterol levels were much better. The improvement has continued and my cholesterol levels are really good still. I looked at it as a 4 week experiment, to see just exactly what I could achieve by sticking absolutely to my plan. Honestly, anyone can try any change for 4 weeks.
BUT this is only my experience, so you are really going to have to work through this together and make a few choices on what you're going to do. A few sources for whole-foods plant-based are Forks over Knives, How Not to Die.
I wouldn't expect doctors to help. They don't have the nutrition education or the time.
forks over knives and things like that arent reputable sources.1 -
Vigorous exercise, exercise that makes you sweat, will improve cholesterol, LDL, etc.
Here is some peer-reviewed research:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1402378/
Also Thompson PD, Crouse SF, Goodpaster B, et al. The acute versus the chronic response to exercise. [discussion S452-3]. Med Sci Sports Exerc 2001;33:S438-45. [PubMed]
Here is a friendly article: http://www.everydayhealth.com/high-cholesterol/treatment/fitness-and-cholesterol/
Also - again from peer-reviewed research: Eat dinner early, and no snacking in the evening. Give your body a good long interval to clear out the days food and rejuvenate various hormones.0 -
Hclf vegan it will drop like a rock1
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bigmuneymfp wrote: »Hclf vegan it will drop like a rock
Unfortunately mine didn't. I even tried vegetarian. Mine seems to be hereditary but I agree it would be a great choice for some.
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Steph38878 wrote: »bigmuneymfp wrote: »Hclf vegan it will drop like a rock
Unfortunately mine didn't. I even tried vegetarian. Mine seems to be hereditary but I agree it would be a great choice for some.
What was your starting number and ending number?0 -
Oh gosh. I've been on medicine for over two years. I honestly don't remember. I'm due for blood work again in June.0
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