What's wrong with me? On and off...

Fatvaporizer

I don't know what's wrong with me. I started my weight loss journey when I was around 210 pounds, overweight and full of body fat. I told myself it was time to lose weight, and so I did. I lost around 50 pounds since I started. But, for the past few months, I've been on and off, meaning that my motivation wanes a lot. I would get urges and short bursts of 'continuing' my weight loss until I reach my goal weight of 140 lbs, but I'm stuck here at 160 at the moment, not putting in much effort to continue on, when I know I could. How do I get back that motivation and drive to work out almost everyday like I used to, and watch my diet again? Even when I get back into it, I would stop after like a week and go back to my old ways, i.e. not working out and just eating whatever I want.

Summary: I just want to know why my motivation comes and goes. I'll get short bursts of motivation, work out and go back on a diet for a week or so, and then stop completely and go back to my old ways. Then the motivation will come back weeks later, and the same thing happens, then I stop again.

This motivation isn't even a matter of laziness or 'feeling tired' to work out or go on a diet. It's not about self-control. It's about JUST NOT WANTING TO LOSE WEIGHT. I know deep down I want to lose more weight, but it's like, that desire just isn't there sometimes. And I don't understand why.

I just want to get out of this cycle and be more consistent until I reach my ultimate goal of 140 lbs and not be stuck at 160 like I was for the past couple months, even though that's already 50 lbs lost.

Why do I get sudden motivation but that only lasts for a short time, and then it goes away, then comes back up? It's so weird.

Any advice please? Thank you.

Alatariel75

Congratulations! You're human!!

Seriously, your story is more common than not. Motivation is a fickle, fickle master and can easily be overturned by all sorts of other emotions and occurrences. I'm currently coming of a big bout of, not just lack of motivation, but bloody minded self sabotage.

In short my advice is - stop relying on motivation. Motivation is a positive emotion - meaning when you aren't so positive it wanes, and it isn't always around. Do you go to work because your motivated? clean your house because your motivated? Wash your clothes, shop for food, pay your bills? Nope - you do them because you have to and that's a part of life. Try and think of weight loss as in the same category. You're not doing it because you 'want' to (which is motivation), do it because you HAVE to (which is determination, even resignation).

Fatvaporizer

Alatariel75 wrote: »

Congratulations! You're human!!

Seriously, your story is more common than not. Motivation is a fickle, fickle master and can easily be overturned by all sorts of other emotions and occurrences. I'm currently coming of a big bout of, not just lack of motivation, but bloody minded self sabotage.

In short my advice is - stop relying on motivation. Motivation is a positive emotion - meaning when you aren't so positive it wanes, and it isn't always around. Do you go to work because your motivated? clean your house because your motivated? Wash your clothes, shop for food, pay your bills? Nope - you do them because you have to and that's a part of life. Try and think of weight loss as in the same category. You're not doing it because you 'want' to (which is motivation), do it because you HAVE to (which is determination, even resignation).

Great response, very insightful. Thank you!

alltimeburrit0

Maybe it's due to what's happening in your life?
Try make a plan or booking where it's important that you look or feel your best - be it a night out or going out swimming, or a holiday. That way when you have a motivation and a time period where you want to reach or maintain.
It may help you keep your motivation when you're slacking.

lutzsher

The journey doesn't end when you get to a magic weight or date, this is a life long journey to be healthier, to hopefully age better and enjoy the trip. Trying to live a healthy lifestyle includes sometimes when life gets in the way, but you can still be mindful of what you put in your mouth. No one feels positive all the time, it is your persistence and determination to treat your body with respect and try to do right for YOU. Having a support system can help with times like this as well, find a buddy or reach out as I have learned it is better to ask for help than feel like you are struggling.

Fatvaporizer

Bump

mslynnpink

Love all the remarks. I suffer from this problem too but it really helped to hear all the comments.

SpotLighttt

maybe you get bored and need something else thats stimulating.

Perhaps pick up an active hobby?

brb_2013

I make a huge point to not look for motivation. It's not motivation you need, it's DETERMINATION. being determined to reach a goal no matter what is how I've lost my 80lbs and how I plan to keep going.

Most (yes most) mornings I wake up and I don't want to workout. Some of those mornings I go ahead and sleep in. On those days the workout MUST happen after work, no matter what. Nothing gets in the way of making up that workout because I'm determined to exercise 4 days a week (right now). My exercise days are my exercise days period. Am I killing myself an hour a day? No, just 20-30 mins 4 days a week. Make it easy to stick to. If it was 7 days a week and an hour a day eventually I'd be too burnt out and probably injure myself and end up missing workouts for a real reason. I think a moderate approach with massive dedication is what works.

There are days I don't want to eat my lunch. It's the same every day because that's how I can stick with the plan. If I got to pick my lunch daily my shopping would be more challenging and so would my meal prep. It's not always an exciting lunch but it's healthy, it's simple for me to prepare and there's just no room for extra challenges. I'm dedicated to my eating plan because it has plenty of protein and supports my goals of limiting refined carbohydrates and added sugars. I'm dedicated to my gut health and my overall health. Motivation is welcome to come and go. Some workouts are AAAMAZING because I had a fire of motivation and I pushed a little harder or longer. But I really think the key to my success is making my goals the top priority, then making it as easy as possible on myself to get there. What works for me may not work for you but if you have a deep enough reason for doing what you do, you'll do it. Dedication, not motivation.

happysherri

Holy Moses! Congrats on your loss so far!

Answer: Because you're human. I do the same. Although I have been working out consistently since the beginning of the year, my nutrition has been a little more slack lately. I plan to do a "cut", after my birthday in a week. Until then I am just going to maintain. Sometimes I feel like I need a break so I will set a time frame away from it all - usually about a week or 2 and then I'll get back into it. Maybe you just need a break. Or, sometimes I just need to switch things up - new program, new sport, try something new, new recipes, new short term goal. Hang in there, it's normal to get burned out. Keep trying.

Fatvaporizer

Great responses everyone, bump.

moonstroller

What keeps me going is remembering how good I feel after I work out. When I'm sitting on the couch staring at the old NordicTrack machine and my mind is running through its normal dialogue of why I should eat a pizza, drink beer, and watch Wreck it Ralph, there's another voice inside of me saying "This isn't what you really want, is it?"

Then I get up and use the exercise machine. When I'm done I feel so much better, not just from exercising, but from fighting that inner voice that so desperately wants to sabotage me.

SueSueDio

I agree with the others... motivation is fleeting, determination is what will keep you going until you reach your goal!

That said, perhaps you need a mental break from the whole thing? Why not set your profile to "maintain my current weight" and go with that for maybe a month or two? (Or more, if you need it.) Relax a little bit, don't put any pressure on yourself to lose more right now, and give yourself time to kind of "settle in" to your current weight. When you're ready and you feel like you can go for it again, set your profile to just 0.5lbs per week.

I think that part of the reason this happens to some people is that, when we start this journey as an overweight or obese individual, there's a certain amount of "I have to get this weight off!" enthusiasm and determination that comes with that. As time goes on and we lose more, start to feel better, etc., then there's far less urgency to it. We start to get comfortable with what we've achieved so far and where we're at right now, and it can feel much more difficult to push on towards the goal than it did when we started.

I'm kind of at that stage myself at the moment. I don't know your height but I'm probably similar to you - started at 217lbs and currently sitting at 155. I'm really proud of what I've done so far, but I'd like to lose 10-15 more pounds and it's very slow going. I'm lazy so that doesn't help, and I need to find my motivation/determination to be a bit more active in order to lose these last few! I'm not really comfortable with my weight and shape, and I'm still just into the overweight category, so I do want to lose more.

What has really helped me throughout my journey is to take regular "maintenance breaks" for two weeks, every couple of months or so. It gives me the chance to ease off mentally and relax a little, and practice my portion-estimating skills (still not very good!). I usually try to time these breaks to coincide with birthdays and special events, too, so that I can celebrate without stressing about it. I can usually go back to restricting my calories after these breaks with renewed determination, and because my logging tends to start getting sloppy after a while I'm more focused on accuracy again when I restart.

The thought of "dieting" for perhaps as long as two years to lose my excess weight was daunting. But two months? I can commit to that! And over the time I've been doing this, it's shifted from "dieting to lose weight" into "eating better to be healthy". I don't eat "clean" or eliminate any food groups, but I've been learning what foods are worth the calories to me and what aren't, which ones keep me full and which give me cravings for more, and so on. This, along with finally learning what a proper and reasonable portion size looks like, is going to help me maintain my weight in the future instead of putting it back on like I've done in the past.

Anyway, that was longer than I'd intended... I hope that it at least helps you to see that you're not alone and there's nothing wrong with you - like others said, you're just suffering from "being human"!

LadyLilion

Alatariel75 wrote: »

Congratulations! You're human!!

Seriously, your story is more common than not. Motivation is a fickle, fickle master and can easily be overturned by all sorts of other emotions and occurrences. I'm currently coming of a big bout of, not just lack of motivation, but bloody minded self sabotage.

In short my advice is - stop relying on motivation. Motivation is a positive emotion - meaning when you aren't so positive it wanes, and it isn't always around. Do you go to work because your motivated? clean your house because your motivated? Wash your clothes, shop for food, pay your bills? Nope - you do them because you have to and that's a part of life. Try and think of weight loss as in the same category. You're not doing it because you 'want' to (which is motivation), do it because you HAVE to (which is determination, even resignation).

I literally just cut and pasted this into a document to keep forever. I can't believe this never occurred to me. I've told my 20-something son a thousand times about various things, "You do it because you have to, not because you want to." Yet I never applied it to weight loss before.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

animatorswearbras

Alatariel75 wrote: »

Congratulations! You're human!!

Seriously, your story is more common than not. Motivation is a fickle, fickle master and can easily be overturned by all sorts of other emotions and occurrences. I'm currently coming of a big bout of, not just lack of motivation, but bloody minded self sabotage.

In short my advice is - stop relying on motivation. Motivation is a positive emotion - meaning when you aren't so positive it wanes, and it isn't always around. Do you go to work because your motivated? clean your house because your motivated? Wash your clothes, shop for food, pay your bills? Nope - you do them because you have to and that's a part of life. Try and think of weight loss as in the same category. You're not doing it because you 'want' to (which is motivation), do it because you HAVE to (which is determination, even resignation).

Seriously this is the most insightful thing I've ever read on MFP. Brilliant.

OP I've been in the same boat so many times, it's kind of easy to be like weeeelllll good enough, bye MFP, and then come back when you've gained a few pounds until you end up slowly cycling back up to your starting weight. Especially when the last 20 pounds or so comes off half a pound a week (or less) and you don't see changes until you look back at a photo from months ago.

I've come to the realisation that yes I'm going to have to log everyday, even when I hit goal. Last time I was this serious on MFP was for my wedding and then as soon as I hit 5 pounds off goal I got married, went on honeymoon, ate all the food and then returned home and didn't bother with MFP except for the odd week here and there over the next 3 years until I ended up overweight again and made the old "new years resolution" this January. But it stuck and now I realise this is just going to have to be part of my life, sure I'll go off the rails but I need to log it when I do it's the only way I will be able to not only lose weight but manage my weight and therefore my health in the long term because I just love to eat and chill out, and eating and not worrying about this job (as Alatariel75 so eloquently put it) is just easier.

And just remember how many pounds would you have lost if you just carried on last time you logged and didn't come back, that's how many pounds you're cheating your future self out of losing if you give up again. Good luck. x

clicketykeys

Keep in mind that even after you meet your goal, you're still not done. Managing your weight is something you'll always be doing. So it needs to be something that sucks as little as possible.

Think about the next step you could take that would move you toward your goal. Break it into smaller steps. Smaller. Make the steps so tiny that you can't fail. Also, celebrate the steps you take, even before you reach another milestone. The process is important. Remember the tale of the tortoise and the hare, and be patient with yourself.

Baby steps! You'll get there.