I feel like a walking blob.

JessieMichelle34

I hit 240 this morning. My heaviest ever. I keep wanting to shrink and start out strong and then fizzle out and gain even more. I wish I could just forget about it but I've done that which is partly what got me here. My biggest problem is sugar. LOTS of sugar. Especially ice cream and chocolate. If I try to cut it out I can go no more than 3 days. Then I HAVE to have and I feel sorry for anyone trying to stop me. That hasn't happened yet though my 12 year old son is worried especially after taking health class in school.

I DON'T want to look like this or live like this. But I can't stop. If there is food in front of me, I grab some. Even in public. But I am embarrassed to eat in public or even go out. I saw the video of my choir's Easter show and I was appalled at my own looks.

Now I have been drinking a lot more water. Right out of gallon jugs. I love the stuff currently! And I've eaten more meat and veggies lately, compared to before. And I have noticed whenever I stand up to let the dog out or whatever I find myself wandering to the kitchen for food or drink. Bad idea. But it's a habit and I need a better habit. But I am impatient and frustrated and I feel like I can't stop.

BTW, my birthday is tomorrow. I will be 38. I know metabolism drops with age. 40 is not far off. Plus I have fibromyalgia and joint problems. Obesity runs in the family, along with diabetes which I don't have yet.

I can give others advice, I've done the research. But there is a wall I have to bust through for good, and I feel like I just don't have the strength. I know I'm not alone here. Thanks.

finallyfitcanuck

Well, I feel like one too. My favorite t-shirt exposed flabby arms, my tummy does the wave on its own, and I can pinch flab on my calves (thank you, kind gym trainer, for showing me that trick :P).

chuffinell45

Well I've signed back on to my fitness pal after piling on pounds once again. I tend to be good for a few days then I just need to eat... Everything on sight that is sweet.. Chocolate mainly. I can't stop myself. Now I'm heading towards 12st and for a 53 year old that's not good. I need to break this cycle once and for all. I've got to get back in control!!!!!

pinuplove

Bad habits can be changed. Mindful eating and logging everything here will help! I'd suggest a food scale for weighing everything except liquids. Don't be so fast to blame sugar (chocolate and ice cream have fat and protein too - why is it always sugar getting the blame?) Work your treats into your daily calories. You don't have to quit cold turkey and never eat chocolate again.

PixelPuff

I'd suggest maybe a therapist?

Not making fun of you, this is an actual suggestion. If you are stuck in a pattern like that, sometimes you have some issues to be sorted out. I was a chronic binge-eater, myself. I "couldn't control" myself around certain things, either. All I did was stretch out my stomach, so it took even more to 'fill' me. But you need to learn the control.

This is a life change, not a diet. And you are stronger than this.

A small note; obesity doesn't run in families, bad/uninformed food habits do. Previously obese, myself, learned this and a light bulb went off in my head. Family reunions, phew..

Edit:
To elaborate, I was 200lbs at 5'2".

ILoveGoal

Everything's possible, never give up! Getting healthier / fitter for yourself, your precious body. S(h)e's always there for you.

Xymheia

Hi, keep up the good work!

Yeah many people feel like that sometimes, even if not (just) related to health. For students (me) and people who work from home challenges are keeping regular hours and avoiding procrastination.

I've learned that positive mindset and affirmation based strategies work better long term than trying 'not to do' something. In the latter you're more likely to be angry or frustrated with yourself if you've 'failed' and that is a motivation crusher. Also, 180 degree turn arounds are hard to keep up, which is why you've found short successes (like 3 days of cutting sugar completely and then bouncing back), they're often too much for someone's willpower to keep up. Willpower/self control is like a muscle: it gets stronger as you use it and you can't expect to pull heavy loads when just starting out.

It might work better to focus on one thing at a time, for example if you're used to eating sugar at 3 meals, eat 1 meal per day without sugar, and slowly build this up to 3 meals without sugar. Or if you're used to eating desserts/ice cream everyday, eat some nonfat yogurt with sweet fruit instead of ice cream on 2 days of the week and slowly build to 7. Don't worry if you miss a day or find it hard sometimes, it doesn't have to be perfect, you'll get better at it. Remember to celebrate your accomplishments, however small, and you'll start feeling empowered. Over time your accomplishments add up significantly. You're already eating more veggies than before and drinking water, and you really want to change, so you're on the right track and have already accomplished something.

One trick that might work if you find yourself getting up for food or a drink out of habit, is to drink a glass of water or eat some fruit instead of what you ate/drank before. Then take the dog out and think of reasons why this walk is enjoyable to get positive associations with exercise. You can also put a reminder on the fridge as deterrent, I think a shot from the video you're not too fond of may be suitable, and put a jug of water next to the fridge.

Also try to find some exercise that you'd like to and feel like you could do. Exercise might also help you with your fibromyalgia and make you feel fitter and more able to make changes.

All the best

kenyonhaff

Hey, welcome! Look, just coming here is a great first step. Now you just need to make some commitments...and you have some very good reasons.

You also DON'T have to give up sugar. I've lost 30+ pounds and I'm eating ice cream and such. Sugar isn't evil.

You will need to learn some new habits. It's a bit different for everyone, but you are unlikely to be the only person who has had a certain behavior. So there's a lot of us around that get it. And have found new behaviors to replace ones that don't work.

And there's something about birthdays that tend to have us reflect on what's going on in our lives. Great! This can be a great milestone to do something new this year so that 39 is better that 38.

getupforchange

Unless you're addicted to sugar I wouldn't force it completely out of your diet. If you do you'll end up obsessing over the idea of it until you cave and binge. I would instead maybe phase out milk chocolate and go for a quality, dark chocolate that is richer in taste but less sugar per 100g. Decide beforehand how much to have. I usually have a square in the evening and it's great for satisfying that craving but with it being 19g sugar for the entire 100g bar (and I only have a square a day) I can easily fit it into my calories and macros. Same with ice cream. There are lots of healthier alternatives and as long as you make up for it in the gym there is nothing wrong with having some if you really like it. For this to be a sustainable lifestyle and change you need to make sure you don't exclude everything you love or you'll give up after a while.

wapan

getupforchange wrote: »

Unless you're addicted to sugar I wouldn't force it completely out of your diet. If you do you'll end up obsessing over the idea of it until you cave and binge. I would instead maybe phase out milk chocolate and go for a quality, dark chocolate that is richer in taste but less sugar per 100g. Decide beforehand how much to have. I usually have a square in the evening and it's great for satisfying that craving but with it being 19g sugar for the entire 100g bar (and I only have a square a day) I can easily fit it into my calories and macros. Same with ice cream. There are lots of healthier alternatives and as long as you make up for it in the gym there is nothing wrong with having some if you really like it. For this to be a sustainable lifestyle and change you need to make sure you don't exclude everything you love you you'll give up after a while.

I agree with you. I don't crave sugar (or if i do, its rare) but I do love potato chips! I'd say I have them at work about four days out of five. I just grab a small bag. I eat so much that the people in my office tease me about it.

Geocitiesuser

What if I told you they put sugar in the potato chips

The three ingredients to make foods addictive are fat, salt, and sugar. You will find those three components in almost all 'junk' food from off the shelf box mixes to fast food.

88olds

Maybe try this- line down the middle of a piece of paper. Left side, why you want to lose weight. Right side why you don't. Work at the don'ts, be honest.

Now look at the don'ts. If you made an honest list, those are the obstacles to you losing weight.
What deals and compromises are you willing to make with yourself to accommodate the don'ts? That's right accommodate.

Each one of those things on that list is a problem you need to address. You can deal with these things one at a time. Trying to lose a lot of weight over a long period of time is too overwhelming to deal with all at once. Respect your own resistance. Trying to deny it will keep you where you are.

jgnatca

I'm going to recommend two books and neither are diets.

The first is Habit by Duhigg

The second is

https://www.bullpub.com/catalog/Living-a-Healthy-Life-with-Chronic-Conditions-4th-Edition

You have all the knowledge. All you are missing is the tools to productively redirect your entrenched habits. This can be done week by week by tweaking your plan and building new strategies.

It's a major undertaking to lose significant weight. Take it in stages. After all this is how Mount Everest is conquered. One step at a time.

JessieMichelle34

Thank you everyone. Feeling better now stronger. I started to wander to the kitchen maybe 3 times and then did an about face back. And for dinner, which was pizza, a rare thing here, I drank water once in a while to fill me faster. Would have been better if I thought to do that before eating but, hey, better late than never. You all have great ideas! Which is why I posted.

Debmal77

Hi Jessie. Not sure if you have read these, but I found them very helpful. Good luck! You can do this!

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300331/most-helpful-posts-getting-started-must-reads#latest

kenyonhaff

There's nothing wrong with wandering into the kitchen...but the question is what are you eating and how much. Going to grab some carrot sticks, or ice water, or a cup of coffee or tea are fine, for instance. And having a snack that fits in your diet plan is fine too.

My first suggestion is if you think this is a weak spot for you, I would:

1) Plan your snacks. Have a couple of snacks that nutritionally fit in your eating plan. (On my 1600 cal plan I budget about 2 250 calorie snacks a day, for instance. High protein, preferably).
2) Have a plan to replace behavior. When feeling an urge to wander into the kitchen, have a plan to do something else. Not JUST about face. Suggestions include: go for a short walk, read one chapter of a book, vacuum a rug, or anything that distracts you from the behavior and replaced with something else.

newdaydawning79

I feel you. I hit my highest point in my life (311) earlier this year and wanted to cry. Even then, I started off strong and then gave up and stopped for awhile...cue weight going back up. I'm an emotional eater, and absolutely love my chocolate and ice cream to the point of distraction.

What I am trying to do right now is to eat the good foods and then allow myself a snack that will satisfy that craving. Yesterday, I ended up having enough left over that I could have chocolate hazelnut butter (by Justin's, much lower in sugar than Nutella) and strawberries. Perfect nighttime snack for me and because I portioned it out, it fit perfectly in my day.

Feel free to add me! I'd love to support you and receive support in return!

Wolfger

It sounds like the problem you have is with depriving yourself of the food that you are craving, and then binging on it when the deprivation becomes unsustainable. Why are you depriving yourself? If you crave sugary things, EAT THEM! Work them into your daily calorie budget. Surely you won't be eating as much as you'd like to be, but you'll be able to give your self a "little treat" every day, or every other day, or however you can work it in. Setting it up in your mind as a reward not only prevents the feeling of deprivation that leads to the binge, but it's also a positive reinforcement to mindful eating: "I've planned my consumption for the day, and I'm on/under target, and this is my reward for a job well done!"

RamboKitty87

Hey, I know how you feel, from 2012 up until Jan this year all I would do is sit on my couch, play pc games and eat pretty much all day, I was agoraphobic (fear of leaving the house) I suffer terribly from anxiety, I wouldn't have even think twice about eating 5 sugary jam filled doughnuts in the space of 10 minutes, I just tuned out didn't even think about it, I hit 30 in January and I don't know something just snapped and I didn't want to be stuck in my home and being obese anymore, weighing 320lbs, I was utterly shocked and devastated, I rarely play games anymore, I go out 1-2 times sometimes more if my partner is not working and I walk a minimum of 20 minutes when I go out, I used to love crisps (potato chips if your from the US) I switched them for popcorn which is a lot less calories, I'm eating better (not had 1 doughnut since my birthday) and I am even exercising, My mum gave me her exercise bike a few years ago in an attempt to get me to use it, for years it was used to hang clothes to dry but now I am using it every day, I weighed myself 2 weeks ago (4/18/2017) and I was 270lbs its all about changing your thought process when it comes to food and exercise, before this I had zero energy and now I have more energy then I know what to do with, I still have a long way to go with my weightloss journey but I'm more determined and motivated than I have been in my whole life to lose this weight and if I can change then you can too, I wish you the best of luck, you can do this ok, go talk to your doctor for advice if you have to.

Edit: My doctor gave me some really good advice I go by now, "Don't see it as a diet, see it as a healthier lifestyle as when you think of dieting you focus on all the foods you cannot have and chances are said diet will not be successful whereas a healthier lifestyle is more long term which it should be"