What's Different For You This Time Around?

seantnash

There's an old adage "if you always do what you've always done then you'll always get what you've always had".

Over the years I've been on many weight loss journeys with varying degrees of success. Starting my current weight loss journey I spent a great deal of time reflecting on what didn't work so well for me on these previous attempts, in an attempt to find solutions so I wouldn't be trapped in the "loss - gain" cycle for the rest of my life.

Here are some of the things that I've changed up this time:

No such thing as a "cheat" meal / day.

As somebody who has had a dysfunctional relationship with food for most of my life I realised that having "cheats" was just further encouraging this relationship. It essentially generates a binge / starvation cycle. Also, by referring to something as a "cheat" isn't exactly great for me psychologically. My naturally "skinny" friends don't refer to food as cheating so why should I?


No Food Guilt

Similar to the "cheat" concept. On some of the weight loss journeys I've been on I'd get hung up on the guilt of eating certain things. Now I say to myself "if you really want it, you can have it" and work out how to fit it into my allowance. Bizarrely, this has naturally caused me not to want many of those high calorie, nutrient lacking foods very often. I guess it's because the minute you're told not to do something your brain wants to rebel.


Baby Steps

I've not tried to change everything overnight. If I went from eating how I wanted one day to tracking my calories, macros, micros, exercise, etc. the next my brain would explode. It's all about gradually building different factors in. If you were learning a new language you wouldn't start by reading a novel in that language.


Being Kind To Myself

If I have a little not-so-on-track day or meal so what? There's no point getting bogged down in guilt. For me, that would only encourage me to completely "fall off the wagon" big time. Besides, if I've already eaten it, feeling guilty about it won't exactly change the situation.


Not Rewarding Myself With Food

After all, I'm not a dog. Food is wonderful and tasty and can be a great way to celebrate - especially dining out with friends. There's nothing wrong with rewarding myself with food, I'm just not using it as my go to reward for every situation. After my weekly weigh-in I do treat myself to a Kinder Egg (still track it) so I do have some food rewards. Again, using food as a reward all the time is partly what generated my dysfunctional eating in the first place.


Allowing Myself To Feel My Emotions

I'm a comfort eater. Big time. I use food to dull my feelings. However, over the past couple of months, I've worked hard on that aspect of me. Part of working on that has been about not trying to run away from my emotions. I just sit with them. Having emotions - "positive" or "negative" isn't a bad thing. You're allowed to feel angry / happy / sad / frustrated. So, instead of trying to dull them out, I'm learning to just sit with them.


It wasn't until I put that post together I realised how many changes I had decided to implement this time around. And it's not an exhaustive list either! So, what changes have you made to your weight loss journey this time around?

MeredithDeVoe1

All of the above, Sean!

I realized some time ago that in my crazy life, food was one of the few things I have control over. So, for that few minutes I was eating, I had a sense of control. That became addictive.

I also realized that I can turn that around. Since I am in control when I am eating, I can control what and how much I eat. It's not about prolonging the FEELING of control, it's about making choices and sticking with them.

I also stopped saying that "I don't have time for exercise" and made time for exercise. (and the stronger I become, the more I win over chronic pain!)

One more gem I have gleaned is that studies have shown that it is the first two or three bites of a food that are the most pleasurable. So I can enjoy very small portions just as much as a loaded plate! This has really helped me a lot.

Sweet_Heresy

Because at this point I've made every single diet mistake under the sun, and realize it really IS as simple as "eat less, move more." Lol.

I was seriously one of those people who thought the only way to lose weight was to do cardio every day, eat healthy, and only 1200 calories, and that lifting weights would make me "bulky."

In my defense, my mom was a fad/crash dieter so having that example all growing up, its just what I thought you were supposed to do.

ceiswyn

No 'cheating', no 'bad' food, food is not a reward - so far, so similar

Also:

• I am not punishing myself. Being fat is not a moral failing, liking food is not a moral failing. I am doing this in order to achieve a certain outcome, not because I think I have to suffer for my sins.
• Exercise is not a punishment. It is something that makes my body healthier and stronger. So instead of thinking that it 'doesn't count' unless I am exhausted and suffering, I concentrate on how good the endorphin high feels. Oddly enough, that makes me want to exercise a lot more than I ever did before, who knew?!
• Control feels good. Sometimes I think ahead to how disappointed I'll feel if I go over my calorie limit, vs how good I'll feel if I turn whateveritis down. That works surprisingly well.
• I am going towards, not away. I concentrate on the positives of how I'll feel as I become smaller and fitter, not on the negatives of shame and self-hate. Because making yourself feel bad NEVER HELPS. Especially when you're still surrounded by society's general food=feelgood message.

But most importantly:

• Hunger is largely psychological. If I can lose my appetite from excitement, or nerves, or shock, or sadness, then there's no real reason I have to feel it at other times, is there? I have my calorie goals, I have my tracking, I don't actually need the prod of a system that is, for me, broken in order to ensure I get sufficient food. If the fuel gauge reads empty even when I have a full tank, I just have to learn how to ignore it.

toxikon

1. Forcing myself to log everything. I'm usually good with logging my lunch and dinner, but I often like to have some little nibbly things after dinner. Maybe a few tablespoons of icecream, a mini Reese's cup, etc. Now I make a priority to log all those things. They add up.

2. No set deadline. I'm getting married in November 2018, so ultimately, I'd like to lose my 30lbs by then. But I know that I have plenty of time, so I can take it slow and not worry too much about occasional slip-ups. I'm not setting myself up for stress, hunger and disappointment by saying I want to lose 10lbs in 2 weeks, for example. I'm trying to keep my "slow and steady" mentality, because I know that will help make it stick when I do get to maintenance mode.

lucypstacy

Each and every time in the past that I wanted to lose weight, I would be so strict and mean to myself. I keep trying to eat less and less to the point it was unhealthy. It wasn't a way anyone could eat and caused me to have a worse relationship with food than I had before. I saw food as almost the enemy.

This time around, I have a better attitude. I'm teaching myself to eat better in a way that's reasonable. Not only am I happier, but I'm actually losing more.

Bunch_of_nuts

I'm completely motivated this time and obsessed with fitness. I wasn't before so thats why I always failed. I have goals I need to meet and I'll finally get there this time.

seantnash

I'm exactly the same with my exercise @ceiswyn

I've also stopped thinking of exercise solely as a way of getting to eat more. I now exercise for all the health benefits - especially the happy hormones. When you find the exercise that is right for you then you should feel amazing at the end and already looking forward to the next session.

quiksylver296

Everyone's answers are fantastic and insightful!

I'm learning that my best weapon is pre-planning. My entire food day is logged before I ever put a bite in my mouth. I'm planning and hitting my macros most days. I'm also able to plan treats like cheeseburgers once in awhile, I just have to "save up" for a bit.

I've learned that motivation won't get me to the end goal. Creating habits and following through on them, even when not movitated, is key. Determination, not motivation!

I've found exercise that I LOVE. Before I was doing exercise just to lose weight. Now that I am powerlifting, I am exercising to become stronger, compete in powerlifting meets, etc, and I love, love, love, it.

ceiswyn

seantnash wrote: »

When you find the exercise that is right for you then you should feel amazing at the end and already looking forward to the next session.

Absolutely right! I've discovered that I really like swimming and walking; I especially love walking in woodland, or any countryside that has side trails that I can get diverted down and explore and lose an hour! I've also just got to the point where a bicycle will take my weight, and am really looking forward to some cycle/walk combination trips around the local area.

I wouldn't have discovered any of those things if I'd carried on thinking of exercise as solely a way to lose weight or increase my calorie count.

seantnash

I also tend to pre-plan my food for the day too @quiksylver296. I tend to have the same (or very similar) breakfast every day so I plan the rest of my day's food whilst eating it.

Not only does it help me work out whether what I fancy will fit it also stops me constantly thinking about food all day as I already know what I'm going to have.

annacole94

Signed on for a 6-month plan right at the beginning, vs. just winging it or committing to a shorter plan.
Logging everything. Even on days I "give up" - and then focusing on my weekly average rather than one day.

setzerfan

Yes, all of your points go for me as well.

The biggest difference for me has been seeing the numbers. My daily calorie, carb and sodium totals are right there on the screen - I can't lie to myself. I can't think to myself "oh that piece piece of toast or that one cookie hardly rates" because yes, it does. And that's okay - as long as I work it in to my daily totals then it's okay. It's a choice. Maybe that's the key? The choice means having some control.

I do go over my daily totals sometimes but somehow seeing the numbers and being honest with myself about what I'm ingesting has stopped the bingeing and self-recrimination in it's tracks. Going over my dailies means I'm more mindful the next few days. The numbers give me motivation to refine my overall diet and to get this pre-diabetes diagnosis back to having normal blood work.

seantnash

I think you've hit the nail on the head @setzerfan when you said it's about having that choice. It's very much about living in the moment and doing what you can right at that moment in time. You either choose to eat the chocolate or you don't. But by making that choice you have the power rather than food having power over you and that power is amazingly freeing.

It's about focussing on the positives - i.e. I'm going to eat healthier - rather than the negatives - i.e. I'm never eating chocolate again

cross2bear

For me, it was just the realization that I didnt have to deny myself anything - that with a little planning, I could fit anything I wanted to eat into my day, and not feel guilty about it. So there was no restriction, or feelings of deprivation, which always set me up in th past for rebellion, and then overeating on the things that I missed the most. I am not one of those people who appreciates the word "no".

cheryldumais

This time around I actually have lost more weight than ever before. Also knowing I can eat anything I want in moderation was a revelation. Learning what works for me was the key. No canned diet that tells me what I must or must not do. I started slow and worked my way down (in pounds, lol).