Have you lost weight?

Whiteponie

I have been a cashier at a motorcycle dealership for the last nine years, I see many of the same customers on a regular basis. It started few months ago, some customers would shyly ask "have you lost weight" to which I would reply "Yes thank you for noticing" then they would say something to the effect of " keep it up girl you are looking good." I would go home at the end of the day feeling great. Here it is a few months later and I am now getting this question, "are you still loosing weight?" to which I reply " yes I am almost to my goal, thank you for noticing." now instead of encouragement they are saying things like " you are getting to skinny, you don't need to loose any more weight. You will look sick if you keep that up." Because of my position as a cashier I cant say " Thank for your sudden concern for my health, where were you when I was almost 200 lbs.? Why did you not say anything then?" instead I have been saying " Thank you for your concern, but I have not looked or felt this great in years. I wish everyone could feel this good. I hope you have a great day!" I have gone from a size 16-18 to a size 6-8, I am proud of this. Why are people such Debbie Downers? I know I can't let them rain on my parade, but some times I have to bite my tongue and shake my head as they depart. What is up with people, I know I can not be the only person this happens to. How do or would you react to people saying things like that to you?

Madame_Goldbricker

Congratulations on the hard work you've done! I personally don't feel it's a case of people being "downers" or negative. It's nice that they have taken an interest in the fact that you've obviously made a lot of changes for your health. However, I would imagine that most of your customers don't see you on a daily basis. So they will probably notice a bigger loss in weight compared to if they see you everyday. It could be genuine concern on their part that they personally think you might have started to lose excessive amounts of weight (I'm certainly not saying this is the case - just maybe their perception).

As for the "concern" when you were almost 200lbs. Would you seriously have thanked them if they turned round and said they thought you could do with dropping some weight?

hzliiz

I think many people at least in the U.S look through a lens that shows the average person being a bigger size than you are now so in comparison to that norm, for you to be become even smaller might seem excessive. For example the average American woman is like a 12 or 14 right? So when you were bigger than that and losing weight it resonated with the average person as "better" but since you're now smaller than average, it seems like becoming "too thin." I'm a size 6 now and get some comments along the lines of how I'm "so small" but I know for my height this is a healthier weight and BMi than when I was 12 or 14. The "average" skews perception I believe. We get used to seeing what falls under the big part of the bell curve. I actually experienced this when I joined the military in my 30s -- I was like, wow everyone is so thin here, but it was only because I wasn't used to seeing that as the norm especially in my age group.

And congrats on your weight loss progress!

Whiteponie

Thank you, I am proud of myself. I see your point and I know that I would have been deeply hurt if someone would have said that I should loose some weight when I was larger, I guess I am just trying to say that I don't like to be told I look sick. If at any time I looked ill it was back then, I was tired all of the time and so self conscious. It is sweet that my customers are concerned, I should just look at it like that. And you are right that in the US perception of normal size is different than in most of the rest of the world. I don't want to be that normal American size again, been there and done that.
Thank you