Could your spouse care less too?

dontgobacktosleep

Looking for friends rowing this lonely little boat, maybe we can row together?

It's so frustrating to work so hard at something and have it met with a total lack of enthusiasm. I'm doing this for me, but man does it burn to have someone so close care so little about progress.

I weight train 5 days a week, love to trail run, and am so close to my dream body I can taste it. Let's motivate and support each other as best we can.

T0M_K

*waves from the row boat next to you* you go girl! let nothing stop you...or anyone stop you for that matter.

Geocitiesuser

I've been in a boat by myself for a very long time. Eventually you learn that the only source of enthusiasm has to come from within. Self reliance, independence, fortitude, determination, and most of all, happiness, all have to come from within. Relationships kind of cloud that, but at the end of the day it all has to come from you, and be for you. Live greedy. A spouse not showing enthusiasm, while maybe crumby, isn't their fault. There may be things they are excited about that you share an equal uninterest in.

ninerbuff

My DW ballroom dances. I have NO INTEREST in it. Did it for awhile with her 10 years ago, but it never stuck for me. And gym work is something she detests too. So we do our own thing and when we're together we do "our" thing.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

JeanieWww

rebeccalbray wrote: »

Looking for friends rowing this lonely little boat, maybe we can row together?

It's so frustrating to work so hard at something and have it met with a total lack of enthusiasm. I'm doing this for me, but man does it burn to have someone so close care so little about progress.

I weight train 5 days a week, love to trail run, and am so close to my dream body I can taste it. Let's motivate and support each other as best we can.

I understand what you are saying, but looking at it from a different view.... He's got no problem with how you look as you are, which actually says a lot. While it would be nice of him to be supportive, I wouldn't rely on him (or anyone else) to make you feel good about your progress. You need to find that in yourself. I have found when I put that expectation or hope on others, I'm ALWAYS let down. Let's face it, people never live up to what we'd like. They think differently than we do.
On a good note, coming to the forums will be a good place to gain support (most of the time), have a few friends with similar goals, and who knows, maybe you'll make a life long buddy that you can chat with and share stories.

No matter what, do this for you. Be your biggest support fan. Lift yourself up (never put yourself down). You can do it

Congrats on being so close!

wolfe24

Perhaps they like you just the way you are and don't understand why you are doing all that. Maybe they know they should be taking care of themselves too and feel lacking, hence the standoffish behavior. In my case my spouse has relegated me to a roommate for all practical purposes and it's quite confusing as it was done so nicely. It hurts but it is a strong reminder that happiness comes from within and you need to be strong inside as well as outside. Don't let anyone ruin your esteem. I think it's great that you can put to words what many of us fear to acknowledge. I like geocitiesuser post. So true.

dontgobacktosleep

Thank you everyone for so many thoughtful responses. JeanieWww I think you hit it on the head, really I just need to stop putting myself down. I have been through some traumatic health experiences over the past 8 years, which caused a ton of animosity in our relationship as I couldn't function. Truth be told I'm probably boiling over with resentment that I have fought and clawed to get here, thinking it would bring more joy or understanding to a relationship that is unlikely to ever change.

Also I have a hard time with reasonable boundaries, tick me off and I will delete you from my life lol. When you have built a life together, not so easy.