Walking Alongside...do you feel the inner you?

Thehardmakesitworthit

In my minds eye sometimes, in my periphery, I see a woman walking along, parallel to me. I can see her life happenings, the burdens she carries, the essence of her soul, all of her.... kind of streaming around her like a silent movie. On the outside, her vessel is crumbling under the weight, both figuratively and otherwise from the realities of her existence. Her movement is labored. Her youthful soul, is in the silent movie too, I see her, she is inside the vessel - her face screaming to come out but there is no sound...no escape to be found.

Late at night, cold air stinging my face, my feet pounding the pavement to the beat pounding in my ears....I glance at the vessel and see her soul smiling at me as I pass.
Now when I see her across from me, the silent movie continues to swirl around that woman but her soul is free and she is keeping up with me.....
Sometimes I really do feel like there are two of me. There is the 52 year old me with 100 pounds to lose, living in a vessel that is aging quickly: time feels as though it is escaping with every exhale. Then there is the young soul that thought she was lost forever in that vessel while she no longer feels trapped, she feels sorrow for time lost but breathing life in very deeply now....not wanting to exhale.
Emerging from that crumbling vessel to enjoy, challenge, FEEL, exist, delight in my life, delight in ME, is a mind bending joy ride. Seriously. If my expiration date came up tomorrow I now know what it feels like to RUN, to see my naked body and love her, to feel my body working as it should.....GAH! I still have so many roads I could take on this journey: more weight off, weight lifting, running goals, the list goes on and on....and I hope to continue to see that woman in my periphery so that I don't forget from where I have travelled..... is it the same for you....finding joy along the way. Weight loss is sooooooo hard but the surprises along the way can be breath taking... please share yours

bbell1985

I'm not that deep. I'm a little fat. Picture myself less fat and smile. The end.