Feel guilty about eating back calories.

merekins

I'm in this for the long haul and rationally understand that there will be days that I go over my 1450 calorie goal. Today was one of those times. It was my birthday dinner, it was delicious, and it came just under 2K calories. Based on my Fitbit, I still have 400 calories left. I was able to enjoy a special meal tonight and not feel guilty because it's rare. Every week, I make a fancy dessert with my kids and I enjoy my piece and am done. Fine. I've gotten a handle on that. What I don't have a handle on is that I can't stop feeling guilty over eating back my calories. For those weekend desserts for example, I make sure to save enough calories to cover them and not go over 1450. I read here that it's important to eat back calories and while I probably won't do that regularly, I'm wondering if I should try to on particularly active days. If so, how can I remove emotions of guilt? The fact that I won't eat back calories because I feel guilty is more upsetting to me than not actually eating the calories. It's really not about the food as much as how to stop feeling guilty over it.

Sp1tfire

Perhaps view 'eating back' calories as a way that you keep yourself on track. If you're too rigid and restrictive all the time and resist treats like that then you could be at risk at falling off the wagon long term. You're doing yourself a favor by making your weight loss sustainable mentally and physically! There are some who would add that 'refeeding' can help your metabolism a teeny tiny bit. Quite a few people do calorie cycling just for that reason!

Good luck! I totally feel that same way too sometimes.

jemhh

It is illogical and irrational to feel guilty over this. If you are losing as planned, you are fine. Save your guilt for when you run over the neighbor's dog or steal from Grandma to buy cigarettes.

merekins

jemhh wrote: »

It is illogical and irrational to feel guilty over this. If you are losing as planned, you are fine. Save your guilt for when you run over the neighbor's dog or steal from Grandma to buy cigarettes.

One day I'm going to hit a squirrel and it's going to devastate me.

rheddmobile

Jemhh is right, it's illogical to feel guilty about this. Taking care of yourself should not make you feel guilty, and eating back your calories so that you take in the appropriate amount of food for your level of activity is taking care of yourself.

So the question is, what about doing this is making you feel guilty? Have you conditioned yourself to feel that "overeating" is bad, and now even when you're not technically overeating, it feels like you are anyway? Look those thoughts straight in the eye, and challenge them. By the way, happy belated birthday!

ferd_ttp5

Are you referring to exercise calories? Eating back that burn would be so important.

inertiastrength

You earned those! Maybe start small, eat back only 1/4 and then 1/2... see your rate of loss over a few weeks of doing that and I think seeing concrete data that you can eat back at least a portion of what you "earned" and still contribute towards your goals will ease the guilt.

merekins

rheddmobile wrote: »

So the question is, what about doing this is making you feel guilty? Have you conditioned yourself to feel that "overeating" is bad, and now even when you're not technically overeating, it feels like you are anyway? Look those thoughts straight in the eye, and challenge them. By the way, happy belated birthday!

That's a good question! My immediate thought was that I don't trust that I have earned them. That eating them back would be overeating and I'll stop losing. You gave me something to think about. Thank you!

merekins

mrsnattybulking wrote: »

You earned those! Maybe start small, eat back only 1/4 and then 1/2... see your rate of loss over a few weeks of doing that and I think seeing concrete data that you can eat back at least a portion of what you "earned" and still contribute towards your goals will ease the guilt.

That makes me so uncomfortable to think about. Slightly panicky really. It's a good plan though. Maybe I could do it slowly like eating back 1/4 one day a week, then two days a week, and work up from there. That could help normalize it while I watch how it affects me. That shouldn't instantly pile on pounds. Thank you!

JeromeBarry1

merekins wrote: »

rheddmobile wrote: »

So the question is, what about doing this is making you feel guilty? Have you conditioned yourself to feel that "overeating" is bad, and now even when you're not technically overeating, it feels like you are anyway? Look those thoughts straight in the eye, and challenge them. By the way, happy belated birthday!

That's a good question! My immediate thought was that I don't trust that I have earned them. That eating them back would be overeating and I'll stop losing. You gave me something to think about. Thank you!

A lot of us don't trust the exercise database, and we eat back only a portion of our earned calories. If weight loss over a month fails to meet your expectations, it may be necessary to eat back a smaller portion of your earned calories.

veganbaum

merekins wrote: »

mrsnattybulking wrote: »

You earned those! Maybe start small, eat back only 1/4 and then 1/2... see your rate of loss over a few weeks of doing that and I think seeing concrete data that you can eat back at least a portion of what you "earned" and still contribute towards your goals will ease the guilt.

That makes me so uncomfortable to think about. Slightly panicky really. It's a good plan though. Maybe I could do it slowly like eating back 1/4 one day a week, then two days a week, and work up from there. That could help normalize it while I watch how it affects me. That shouldn't instantly pile on pounds. Thank you!

This is concerning. Fueling your body appropriately should not make you feel panicky.

I have a fitbit as well. I'm 5'8" and 163 lbs. My base calorie goal for .5 lb/wk loss is 1570. My current goal is to walk a total of five miles a day (per fitbit) at least five days a week, and then at least 10,000 steps the other two days. I also do strength training three times a week and jiu jitsu at least twice a week. Five miles makes my calorie goal about 2,200. I tend to eat between 1700-1900 every day except Saturday when I usually eat around 3,000. I've been fairly on track with losing .5 lb/wk. If I only ate 1,500/day, I would be seriously underfeeding my body, leading to lethargy and more muscle loss than if I fuel appropriately. On occasion, if I'm very busy at work, I might miss eating a snack and maybe end up at 1,300-1,500 that day. I definitely feel it, maybe not a hugely drastic difference in energy, but enough that I can notice and when I see how much I have eaten, I know why.

It's not something to be afraid of. It's important to fuel your body for your activity level.

megdnoorman

I think it is great that you are self-aware enough to notice as a problem and look for solutions. My advice would be to work on changing your mindset.

You're not hurting or harming anyone. You aren't doing anything shady or inappropriate. Attaching emotions like guilt, shame, etc. to food is a bad path to go down.

Feeling down about overeating or not meeting a goal is normal, but feeling some type of anxiety even whilst within your goal, sounds sort of concerning to me. If it continues to be a problem after self-reflection etc. you may want to consider speaking to a doctor/counselor about it.

I don't want to sound extreme, I just know how these things can spiral out of control if they are caught early on.

cbihatt

You could just set your calorie goal a little higher than what it is now to account for those exercise calories. That way you will be eating some of them, but the guilt isn't there because you don't "see" the overage. So, instead of 1450, change your daily goal to 1650, for example. Then you can continue to ignore the exercise calories.

tinkerbellang83

Try to think of it as fueling your workouts rather than earning extra calories. You wouldn't expect a car to do extra miles without the necessary extra fuel, and shouldn't expect your body to either.

merekins

So much to think about. Thank you all for the input. Have struggled so much in the last with emotional eating and have come a long way. Obviously, still have issues to work through. Eating back calories shouldn't trigger fear but it does. Awareness is the first step right? Thanks for calling me out.